YSaC, Vol. 838: Blue states for Red Green!

2010 November 2

HAND TOOL,S NAIL GUN,S AIR COMPRESSOR,S


I HAVE SEVER CINDS OF TOOLS NAIL GUN,S DRILL,S AIR COMPRESSOR,S BUFFER, SANDER,S AIR PAINT GUN,S

12 VOTE, WINTCH, SKIL SAW,S SAW ZAW,S AND MUCH MORE, CALL ME LETS TALK,.

xxx xxx xxxx BEFORE 6 AND AFTER 6 IT,S xxx xxx xxxx THANKS FOR LOOKING PHILLIP

I’m going to use one of my 12 votes to vote that this person doesn’t get to use power tools anymore. Then I’m going to go use my 11 remaining votes down at my local precinct.

Vote early! Vote often! But don’t take your sawzall to the precincts, please. They frown upon that, especially if they’re the sever cind of tools.

And thanks for looking, Philip. The rest of you, consider yourself unthanked.

Except for you, Jennifer, for sending in the ad.

Go vote! And hey, while you’re in a voting mood, it’s been a while since anyone other than a spammer has voted for their favorite posts.

210 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 November 2
    Camille permalink

    I’m fascinated by the use of commas as pluralization devices. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. And I also like the use of rhyme in “Saw Zaw” (which is “sawzall” where I come from).

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2

      I fixed it!

      dıllıɥd ƃuıʞool ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ xxxx xxx xxx s’ʇı 6 ɹǝʇɟɐ puɐ 6 ǝɹoɟǝq xxxx xxx xxx

      ˙’ʞlɐʇ sʇǝl ǝɯ llɐɔ ‘ǝɹoɯ ɥɔnɯ puɐ s’ʍɐz ʍɐs s’ʍɐs lıʞs ‘ɥɔʇuıʍ ‘ǝʇoʌ 21

      s’unƃ ʇuıɐd ɹıɐ s’ɹǝpuɐs ‘ɹǝɟɟnq s’ɹossǝɹdɯoɔ ɹıɐ s’llıɹp s’unƃ lıɐu slooʇ ɟo spuıɔ ɹǝʌǝs ǝʌɐɥ ı
      ——————————————————————————–

      s’ɹossǝɹdɯoɔ ɹıɐ s’unƃ lıɐu s’looʇ puɐɥ

      Adores: 18
      • 2010 November 2
        Windrose permalink

        Hammy, you never let go of a good trick after you learn it. 8)

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2

          No’ no I don,t.
          *wags*

          Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 2
      CoffDrop permalink

      Saw Zaw = one of the Gabor sisters………

      Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 2

      Where I’m from they’re called reciprocating saws, but most of the bubbas down at the Home Depot call them “sa’zaws”.

      Adores: 3
  2. 2010 November 2
    MandaB permalink

    Saw zaw. Saw zaw. Saw zaw saw zaw saw zaw saw zaw sawzawsawzawsawzawsawzaw. SAW ZAW!!!!

    Sorry. That’s kind of catchy. Carry on!

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 2

      “Duct tape, duct tape, duct tape…:

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 2

        Bea Arthuuuuuuuur!

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFERSAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW SAW ZAW

        Adores: 10
      • 2010 November 2
        Meredith permalink

        Uhhhh…Ruth Bader Ginsberg?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          Pia Zadora!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          A man, a plan, a canal … Noriega!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 2
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Uma…Oprah…

          Oprah…Uma…

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        Meredith permalink

        Ida Lupino!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Jets! Sharks! Jets! Sharks! Jets! Sharks! Jets! Sharks!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 2
      Meej permalink

      SAW ZAW NOW!

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2

      [dumb things I do] I first heard the term “saw zaw” from on of the contractors we had working on our house. My husband adopted that as his prefered way of saying it, which prompted me to sing, “saw zaw, chicka chicka, saw zaw” over and over, every time he said it. This lead to me giving just about any two syllable combination the same treatment for about a month straight. Somehow, I’m still married.

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 November 2

        Bless your heart, christina 🙂 He probably didn’t mind because you did a little bump and grind when you said it.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          You’re probably right, that and the French maid costume…

          Adores: 6
  3. 2010 November 2
    Lou Stool permalink

    “Call me. Let’s talk” reminds me of those Live Link (or whatever they’re called in your [location] ) commercials you see after 10pm.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 2

      Are those the same ads where they promise that you can talk to hot Craft singles? I’m not sure what it would be like to talk to a grilled cheese sandwich as I usually just eat them right away.

      Maybe everyone has that problem, that’s why you have to do it over the phone.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 2
        MandaB permalink

        Since this ad is for tools, I think you get to talk to hot Craftsman singles.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 2
          Meredith permalink

          Hi there, this single belt sander wants to talk to you! Call now to speak with me, or my friend, the power drill. We’re waiting.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          Suddenly, the brand “Snap-On Tools” acquires a whole new meaning …

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          So does the phrase “I like it rough.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2

          “Rubbing in linseed oil.”

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      ActionBatch permalink

      polishing my tool *cough* Penis!

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 2

        These are not the Saw Zaw.

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 2
        kelli permalink

        Action, you may want to have that cough looked at, I don’t think coughing up penis is normal.

        Adores: 18
        • 2010 November 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Eeew.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Maybe it’s normal today. It is erection day after all.

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 November 2
          Tankerbell permalink

          What? Is Bill Clinton running for something?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          That would be a hard on for him to win.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2
          Bombdude permalink

          *Lights a cigar*

          Adores: 4
  4. 2010 November 2
    MandaB permalink

    NAIL GUN,S DRILL,S AIR COMPRESSOR,S BUFFER, SANDER,S AIR PAINT GUN

    Sparky isn’t using the comma in place of an apostrophe. Rather, he is noting that these are the Southern cind of tools. After the War of Northern Tool Aggression, these tools have clung to their Southern heritage and demand to be acknowledged as Confederate tools.

    Adores: 12
  5. 2010 November 2
    LimeLolly permalink

    Today, we are going to learn about the letter S.

    Snail, Sair, Sdrill, Sbuffer and Sever
    Say it slow and spit forever.
    Snarky and sneaky speak in rhyme
    While sammitch and slowpoke take their time.
    Essssss, Esssss, Esssssssss.

    This letter was brought to you by the makers of S12 Vote. Don’t waste another moment hidden behind curtains. Get an S12 and be the envy of your friends.

    Adores: 8
  6. 2010 November 2

    I HAVE SEVER CINDS OF TOOLS

    He’s selling props from the Saw movie series, cool!

    Adores: 5
  7. 2010 November 2

    Thanks to the “sever” aspect, I fear he’s typing this with one hand.
    Or there could be another reason.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2010 November 2
    Mindfield permalink

    What to pick on here?

    >> Tools that sever cinds. I’m not sure where one’s cinds are, but I’m pretty sure I’d like to keep mine un-severed.

    >> I want a snail gun. I’d like a gun that shoots snails. I would call it my escargun.

    >> sawzaw. peatzaw. Warzaw, Powand . Amazaw waifowist. Sea zaw. Skiw saw. zaw.

    >> AIR PAINT GUN! Now I don’t have to be confined to my walls. I can paint the very air I live in!

    >> It’s a wintch. BURN IT! BURN THE WINTCH! (I know it’s a wintch. It turned me into a newt. I got better.)

    Adores: 31
    • 2010 November 2
      Lou Stool permalink

      Escargun *applauds and throws doors*

      Adores: 15
    • 2010 November 2
      Windrose permalink

      No, I don’t want it to shoot out more snails. I want it to shoot the snails in my garden! Pew! Pew pew! Take that, you slimy leaf chewers, you!

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Windy — lets go to my garden. I have a pie plate with beer in it. It makes the slugs and snails easier to shoot. (Of course I do live within city limits, so bring the silencer).

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 2

        We have an abundance of snails in our fish tank. We’re not quite sure how they got there, we think there must have been a couple on one of the plants that we put in. Or maybe some eggs. Either way, they’ve been reproducing like MAD. Who knew snails bred like rabbits?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Do they have little cone-shaped shells?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Mindfield permalink

          Line-Toeing Fun Fact of the Day: Snails are hermaphroditic. They don’t need a mate if there isn’t one handy. They’re perfectly happy to successfully carry out your orders to go f*ck themselves.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2

          Yes, SJ, they do have cone-shaped shells.

          And thanks for the fun fact, Mindfield! Now, what’s your theory regarding the time I caught the snails having a threesome? (Yes. Seriously.)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Sounds like Malaysian trumpet snails, which are nearly impossible to get rid of. (Try googling “trumpet snails” or “Malaysian trumpet snails” and see if they match the pictures.) [overly long snail corey] If you have a planted aquarium they act like earthworms, burrowing in the substrate and eating algae and dead plant material, but they also eat leftover fish food. If you overfeed your fish, you get more snails. They also like higher temperatures; they get more … “frisky” in warmer water. (I think they can do the job solo but prefer … “company” during “t-shirt time”.) You can try cutting down on the amount of food you give your fish or lowering the temperature to reduce the number of snails, but they won’t completely go away unless you use a copper-based pesticide formulated for snails.[/overly long snail corey]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Who cares if the shells are cone-shaped? Are they minty?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2

          Oh, I just googled. They’re not that pointy. They look more like this guy:

          http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images21/SnailsinAquarium2.jpg

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ve never tasted one so I don’t know. I’m guessing they taste slimy with an algae aftertaste.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          mudslicker permalink

          If you’re going to eat them, I suggest you be sure to say 5 Snail Mary’s and an Hour Fodder afterward—just to be sure.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Looks like a pond snail, B; they sometimes eat aquarium plants. If there’s too many you can bait them with lettuce or cabbage leaves. (Run a leaf under hot water (or dip it in a pot of boiling water for a second) until it’s limp, tie a string to it and drop it in the aquarium and leave it overnight. In the morning it will be covered in snails, you can just fish it out and toss them. Repeat as often as you like if they become a problem.)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          Try filling your aquarium with miller lite.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2

          Hammy, lovely idea, except I think that might be bad for the fish.

          Thanks for the tip, SJ, we’ll try that!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2

          Fish?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2

          Yes. We have fish in our aquarium. Why, what do you keep in your aquarium?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          Miller lite…

          Adores: 19
        • 2010 November 2
          Bombdude permalink

          A.K.A. “The Punch Bowl”

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          Poor drunken fishies … I bet they’d go up like a Roman candle if you tried to barbeque them.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          ::singing drunkenly*::
          The goldfish
          is a silly fish
          it just goes round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round
          and round and round and round
          …..

          Hee hee, copy and paste is fun.

          Ok, I’m done (for) now.

          *I’m not drunk, the fish is!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          Suuuuuure, AR, suuuure.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER permalink

          What’s cut and paste?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          Cold meds still the expired ones? 😉

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2

      I want a slug gun!

      *BANG, SPLAT*

      Bwahahaha, stay off my lawn you pesky kids!

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 November 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        I guess that would be more practical than a gun that shot kids at slugs.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          SJ — I’d have a tough time holding the gun that shoots kids up. My kids are both bigger than I am.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          You’d probably need to upgrade to the kid cannon then.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2

          Toddler trebuchet!

          Adores: 13
      • 2010 November 2
        mudslicker permalink

        There’s no such thing as a slug gun, silly. Everyone knows that you have to kill kids on your lawn with a S LUG WRENCH.

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 2
          CapnMac permalink

          A “slug wench”?

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        I love the idea of a slug gun. Finally something practical to do with slugs and snails.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m picturing something that looks like a Super Soaker that can suck snails and slugs up into a little hopper and then shoot them out when you reverse the gun.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 2
          CoffDrop permalink

          Where,s PETA when they,re needed?!?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Coff – are you worried about the snails/slugs or the kids? Trust me, the snail/slugs in the south can take care of themselves.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          Where,s PETA when they,re needed

          [PETA corey]
          Back in my deer hunting days a group of PETA protestors showed up to bang pots and pans to “scare” the deer away from the hunters.
          They all gathered in a line about 500 yards long and started marching through the woods up a mountainside.
          At first I was not to happy, but then I realized where they were headed so I hopped in my truck and drove up to the top of the mountain (about 4 miles as the crow flies from the pot pounders) to the head of the shear walled canyon that was the only way up the mountain from where they started…They did their job well because every deer in the county got scared right to me 😉
          After I got my deer I called the game warden we came out and arrested or ticketed them all for driving game which is highly illegal, haha.
          [/PETA corey]

          Adores: 21
        • 2010 November 2

          As soon as you started the story I thought, “Woo! Free game drive!” The fact that the story ended with you snagging a deer AND getting PETA arrested for game driving is awesome.

          Door for you sir.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 2

          Well, I probably would not have called the authorities but when the PETA’s finally made it to the top of the mountain, and saw me with a dead deer, they were highly upset. (Especially after I thanked them *snicker*)
          In fact they were turning in to an angry mob* until one of the brainiacs remembered that I was carrying a loaded rifle and had a rather large handgun holstered on my hip, on which my hand was resting.
          The warden also asked me if I wanted to press assault charges, we both laughed. 🙂

          This happened in the mid 1980’s, I think the PETA head office put a stop to harassing hunters shortly after this after they “accidentally” lost a few members in the woods…

          *An angry mob of PETA’s is just slightly more dangerous than a swarm of fruit flies.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2
          mudslicker permalink

          Hammy— and just what happened after that? You hung them from the backyard swing set and bedazzled their hooves? Hmmmm? Pics?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2
          CoffDrop permalink

          Great story Hammy! I love a happy ending…..

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          CoffDrop permalink

          Artsy – I love snails…..Wow! look at that S Car Go!!!!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          (non-hunter response) Why can’t we all just get along? Pass the A-1, Hammy, this venison is tasty! (/non-hunter response)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2

          *Applaudes Hammy*
          As a vegetarian animal rights activist, PETA offends me on a very deep level.
          I have no problem with hunting, or hunters, except this one chick up in Alaska that I’d like to see in a cage match with the top dogs of PETA.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 2
          Tankerbell permalink

          I’d like to see that chick in a cage match with the Idatarod’s top dogs.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          SilvaNoir permalink

          Throw her to the wolves- literally.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          Sooner or later she’ll go hunting with Cheney. I’m sure her “people” will advise agaist it, but when has she ever taken their advice?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3
          Tankerbell permalink

          Ah, good ol’ “Whirl n’ Fire” Cheney. I’d actually like him a little bit then.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      NotMyName permalink

      Mindfield:
      So, I’m not the only one who saw “S NAIL GUN” and thought “snail gun”? That’s is a huge relief.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        NotMyName permalink

        I keep doing “That’s is”!!! What the heck is wrong with me?!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Would you like that alphabetically or categorically, NMN? : )

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 2
          CoffDrop permalink

          Get it right NMN – Correct way = “That,s is”…….

          Adores: 4
  9. 2010 November 2
    sarajean80 permalink

    WINTCH

    Wintch? Really, Sparky? Did you bite your tongue while typing?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 2

      Maybe he was dictating.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2
      Lola permalink

      Why is he selling the wintch? Who’s going to serve him ale at the tavern?

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        OT – Lola are your cats eyes orange as they look in your avatar?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          It’s not mine, Artsy, even though the resemblance is strong (I picked that photo because of the facial expression/claw combo – mine has serious claws and mistakenly thinks they can be used for play). It’s a Bombay, which have as part of the breed standard the almost-coppery eyes (while the color does vary, you can search “bombay cat” on Google Images and see that some are definitely orangey). Mine actually has has pale greenish yellow ones, which I think are quite pretty and which are more common to the average (mostly) black American shorthair; my last cat was fairly similar in that regard.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Thanks for the info Lola. My black cat also has pale greenish yellow eyes. I have one smart cat and one cute one. Midnight is the cute one.

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2
      mudslicker permalink

      I am not a WINTCH. I’m you.

      Adores: 10
  10. 2010 November 2
    LimeLolly permalink

    There has been 3, count ’em 3, robo calls this morning. And it isn’t even 9 AM CST.

    The smell of desperation is in the air, and I haven’t even finished my first cup of coffee yet.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2
      Lola permalink

      One of my friends got one yesterday where it started out as a debt collection call. Then it segued into the political part, with a tenuous connection to “debt collection.” She was infuriated, particularly as she makes a point not to have bill collectors after her and she wasn’t going to vote for them anyway.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2

        What? That’s ridiculous.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          Agreed. I was trying to figure out how it could be legal. I bet is likely is – but only just.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2

          I don’t know…debt collection is a serious business and the FDCPA is really particular about what you can and cannot say. I’m pretty sure impersonating a collector for advertisement purposes crosses some sort of line.

          *grumbles about her lack of Lexis or Westlaw access since she now can’t just look up random curiosities*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          It’s OK – I have access, but don’t have the “all you can read for free!” law school logon, so I can’t either. 🙂

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2

          True. I’m really going to miss the “all you can read for free!” law school access. Although I’m going to apply for some post-grad research assistant positions at my law school that have opened up for winter quarter, so if I get one of those I’ll get three more months of “all you can read” access. 😉

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        Windrose permalink

        Last night, we got a robo-call that started while the answering machine message was playing, and at the BEEP, stopped and started again. It was something like, “Hi! I’m Local Politician calling on you to be sure you vote–” and at that point it would stop, and loop again. And again. And again. After about a dozen cheery Hi!s, Chthulhu sent the call off to the Vault of Doom. Sheesh.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2

          And from this, I am now stuck with the earworm:
          Hi! My name is… What? My name is… Who? My name is… Random candidate!

          Adores: 8
  11. 2010 November 2

    Shut up! I,m sory thaht I,m tring to sell som qulety tolls here! Is it my fault that theyr so hard to spel?

    I meen reely! Eeze off!

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 2
      sarajean80 permalink

      That should probably have matt mhat tags on it.

      Adores: 4
  12. 2010 November 2
    Mindfield permalink

    I may have something here. After running this through a complex cryptographic alpha-beta algorithm I borrowed from the NSA, this is what I believe this post actually means:

    “Subject: A PAROCHIALISED LOON, MR. SNORTS

    I have serviced fools snot, lads nursing ill. A crossbar suspends fire reform, avalanches insisting 12 twits’ workup. Madam Schnauzer wows! Tackle tall elms.

    xxx xxx xxxx abated fife snorter. xxx xxx xxxx flaking pinkish pooh troll.”

    So now we know this post’s TRUE intent!

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 2
      Mindfield permalink

      Wait! I believe there was a translation error. That should read, “Madan Schnauzer wows, tackles tall elm.” Now it makes a lot more sense.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 2
        Lola permalink

        Tonight at the 40 Watt: Madan Schnauzer, Parochialized Loon, and special guest 12 Twits’ Workup, promoting their latest album “Flaking Pinkish Pooh Troll.”

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          Meredith permalink

          I replaced a light bulb last night, and went about it by proclaiming loudly: TONIGHT, AT THE 40 WATT….LIGHT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!! Cause, I mean, it was a 40 watt bulb. 🙂

          Adores: 17
        • 2010 November 2
          Lola permalink

          Allegedly, that’s what the original 40 Watt Club was, in fact, named after. Don’t you love being able to recreate historical events in your own home?

          Adores: 4
  13. 2010 November 2

    Anagram Fun!

    TWELVE VOTE, WINTCH

    Two New Velvet Itch (Don’t let velvet allergy happen to you)

    We Twitch Novel Vet (Siezure medication for unique pets)

    Hove Clew Vent Twit (Colonal Sparky, in the boat’s HVAC, with the sawzaw)

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 2
      mudslicker permalink

      Funny, the anagram translation makes more sense than the original ad.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2010 November 2

    This is what happens when a child learns to read but only has access top Dr. Seuss books.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2

      I put my 12 VOTEs to re-re-enabling the edit function…

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 2
        NotMyName permalink

        Can I vote for that too? In case you haven’t noticed all my idiotic Ms. Steaks.*

        *This one was on purpose. Obviously.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        Windrose permalink

        For a small fee, I can always be pursueded to change your posts for you. 8)

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          My posts are all potty trained, but thanks anyway…

          Adores: 8
  15. 2010 November 2
    Meredith permalink

    Severus Snape Sells Skil Saw,s, Saw Zaw,s, Sander,s, and Sever Cinds (long C) of tools.

    Adores: 7
  16. 2010 November 2
    Meredith permalink

    Yes, if you showed up to the polling place with all those, you may be able to threaten 12 votes out of people.

    Adores: 8
  17. 2010 November 2
    NotMyName permalink

    We can vote for our favorite ads? When did this happen?!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      sarajean80 permalink

      If you scroll up to the top of the page, on the right there is a link titled “The 8 suckiest Craigslist ads …” Click on that and it will take you to the voting page.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        Dammit, that should be “…there is a link beside the link titled…”
        Damn no-editing.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          Ahem. Small fee. Ahem. LOL

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          Bavec permalink

          Psst… anyone else think Windrose might be abusing the power a bit?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          CapnMac permalink

          No, of course not. WR is above and beyond reproach in all things, just as anyone with moderatore/editor powers ought be.

          (That, and ‘abuse’ would be a cyan pop-up with “Edit for a Small Fee/Credit Cards & PalPal accepted”)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          I hope she’s not catching ActionBatch’s cough. It seems to have unfortunate side effects.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2

          I’m surprised Hammy hasn’t offered up his “hair of the dog” cure for that particular cough.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 2

          Dog hair is a condiment at my house, not a cure…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          SilvaNoir permalink

          How does dog hair manage to get everywhere, even where the dog hasn’t been? I will open up brand new food without the dog in the room and a dog hair will magically manage to float down on it. I only have one dog- I can just imagine what your house must be like with all the dogs and puppies running around

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          I will spend two hours sweeping and vacuuming the entire house, only to have a dog hair tumbleweed float by seconds later. It makes painting a real pain.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Get a roomba and let it run every day, no more dog hair tumble weeds.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3
          Camille permalink

          I could knit a new dog from the hair floating around my house, if only I knew how to knit.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Three cats, everything is covered in cat hair. I washed my duvet cover a few weeks ago and when I took it out of the washer there were great big wads of fur all over the inside of the machine. I took the cover out to hang on the line and noticed odd dark spots that appeared to be on the inside. I turned it inside out and little balls of matted fur, about the size of a marble, fell out.

          Adores: 3
  18. 2010 November 2
    Addicted Reader permalink

    ::curls up on Snark Lounge couch with a blanket and tea::

    Sick day! At least for now. I might go in for a couple hours later, and I’m def. going to go vote.

    As for the ad, I’m not so sure the commas are for pluralization. I think Sparky is just a little unclear on how to combine commas and plurals. There are a couple correctly used commas after non-plural nouns. I can understand, I always get confused where to put the quotation marks at the end of a sentence – inside the punctuation or outside???

    Grammar is confusing. : P

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      AR — here’s some honey for that tea. I’ve been assured it is the magic cure all when mixed with hot tea. Hope you feel better.

      Are we spreading something around here on YSaC? (besides SNARKing) Everyone seems to be getting sick.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Thanks Artsy. I hope no one catches this from me!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 2
        Meredith permalink

        My guy couldn’t get rid of his cold, til the doc told him it was a sinus infection. Possibly these are going around? I don’t think you can “catch” one, though, at least not from other people.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 2
      Bombdude permalink

      Must be me, I’ve had it and gotten rid of it, and then caught it again 4 times in the past month. I am working in the office with my hot tea & honey next to me as we speak.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Bombdude — I just sprayed all of RTP with Lysol. Hopefully it will help you also.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2
          Bombdude permalink

          Many thanks…

          :sneezes:

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 2
          sarajean80 permalink

          :,i>sniff-sniff:

          Mmmm … Antisepticy.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          SJ — it was lemon scented …. didn’t it make it over to you?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 2

      Did you guys forget your snark flu shot again?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 2

        I got the H1N1 vaccination so I’m immune to you, Hammy, but I don’t think they added the H5N1 this time so I’ll need to steer clear of Windrose.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          I mutated this year, I now H2D2.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          I suggest we all wear surgical masks in the Snark Lounge, wear laytex gloves while on the computers, and dose our favorite beverages liberally with honey.

          Hey Meredith, my doc diagnosed sinusitis too! What a world, what a world!

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2

      To answer your quotation question from the perspective of the grammatically challenged:
      Put the punctuation where ever it looks least ridiculous. Of course, I don’t follow this “,rule:”? “!myself'”.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 2
      mudslicker permalink

      I think he wanted to be sure his commas looked all Oxford-y.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        CapnMac permalink

        Would that not require some sort of caped robe (and hoods for the PhD)?

        Adores: 1
  19. 2010 November 2
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    Hammy – there is a rumor going around that you were in my room yesterday …..

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2

      Kelli sent me there, can you let me out I haz to pee…

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 2
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        You can go out back with the rest of them.

        Adores: 4
  20. 2010 November 2

    [ot]
    I created a forum thread for the sharing of NanoWrimo user names in case any are interested in the buddy system. I now return you to your regularly scheduled snark
    [/ot]

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      Windrose permalink

      Is it too late to start? My excuse is that I was sick last week, and my pen dried up, and the sun was in my eyes when I was laying on the couch, plus it’s the first of the month so work is a heck hole.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        sarajean80 permalink

        According to the website you can register any time before midnight on November 30th.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          Thanks, sarajean. I’ll do that as soon as I get home, vote, have dinner, do a nest check on the baby birds, and play hours and hours of games on Facebook. Hmm, I may have to give up that dinner thing.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Tankerbell permalink

          Not at all, Windy. Just eat at the computer, like I do.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 2

          So what part of the computer tastes the best?

          Probably not the SCSI part…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          Bombdude permalink

          I washed my SCSI parts, so now they’re minty…

          Adores: 3
  21. 2010 November 2
    Todd permalink

    He wrote “SEVER CINDS OF TOOLS”. It should be “SEVER CIND,S OF TOOL,S”. Can’t even follow his own mutilated punctuation rules.

    Adores: 7
  22. 2010 November 2
    kelli permalink

    My favorite part was when he found saw zaw,s petals in his pocket.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 2
      Windrose permalink

      And an angel got their wings!

      Adores: 2
  23. 2010 November 2
    Tankerbell permalink

    It scares me that Sparky is selling his severing tools right after Halloween.

    …or is he? He never actually says they’re for sale, just invites you to call and talk about them. And then thanks Phillip for looking. (maybe Phil was at the next urinal at the Center yesterday?). Maybe Sparky wants to lure us into entertaining tool talk, then make the natural segue into inviting us to come over and see the tools, and then dahmer us! Aaaaahh! (2 points for m
    e for learning to use Dahmer as a verb here.)

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 2
      Windrose permalink

      Tank-girl in the box! Hooray! I just love punching that armored vehicle. 8)

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        SilvaNoir permalink

        I watched the movie “Tank Girl” for the first time last night. I think IceT played a mutant kangaroo. Wow, just wow.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 2
          Windrose permalink

          I love that movie! One of my favorite quotes: You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid. You gotta go: “Daddy, are you sure this is right?”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2

          There is so much not to like about that movie (especially if your familiar with the comic), but I love it. I was tank girl for Halloween the year it came out. I already had a blonde mohawk and cheap floozy clothes so it wasn’t too much of a stretch. (Ah, Nat Sherman Prisms, cancer in pretty, rainbow colored papers)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 2
          SilvaNoir permalink

          I was partial to “It’s been swell, but the swelling’s gone down”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3

          I’m partial to “rainbow twinkie fluid” from the really bad poem the one Ripper recites.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Lola permalink

          *cough*Christina, they’re called Fantasias now and marketed as a cocktail cigarette*coughcoughcough* (I have a friend who is fond of them.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3

          Ah, you are correct, I think Prisms was a different brand.
          If that cough is any indication, they must be making them stringer. 😉

          Adores: 2
  24. 2010 November 2
    NotMyName permalink

    I would think he would Jack us.

    That sounded so much better in my head.

    Adores: 4
  25. 2010 November 2

    I had a sever cind once. The Doc told me to take two trumpets and call him in the morning.

    *bonus points to the first person what gets this obscure obscurity*

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      Bombdude permalink

      All I have are biblical references for moses’ communication system.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 2

      Sigh…Bombdude…I feel old…

      And as a side note, I find your avvie particularly distressing given your handle…

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        Bombdude permalink

        but, but, I am old, but just not knowledgeable of your reference.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Doc Severin, the Tonight Show….sigh…see? I’m old….

          Adores: 0
  26. 2010 November 2
    CapnMac permalink

    Well, I’ve enough trouble looking like me as is, so I’m not going to take up looking Phillip just to make Sparky happy.

    Just which Phillip, anyway?
    Animated, with a canadian named Terrance (and and a flatus excess)?
    Phil of Macedon? Dead and part-Greek?
    Phil the Navigator? Well, I am versed in celestial navigation at sea–but a long-dead member of the Portugese nobility sounds a stretch.
    Not Catalan or Castillian, so the lets out being dead iberian nobility…Hey! Does Sparky want me dead? he’s hinted at severing Cindy already . . .
    Unless he wants me to be Phil Collins?
    I would not the rich part, even the living abroad to not pay Inlanr Revenue–but the not-being-british, having hair, not-nearly-good- enough-on-drums, bits might get complicated . . .

    Think I’ll go vote, instead.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 2
      mudslicker permalink

      Perfect! With that kind of logical thinking, there should be nothing to fear with a voting booth and a ballot within your reach.

      Phil of Macedonia, indeed.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, after the convolutions of election language, “air paint gun” resonated.
        Well, all “paint pellet” guns use compressed air. If they used pulsed lasers or electromagnetic drives, it would make the game-playing a lot more exciting, if excedingly dangerous to players and course alike.

        Now, [paint applicator corey] there are a number of “guns” which deliver paint in some sort of controlled fashion (as opposed to just flinging open buckets or using an M-80 or sixteen in the can).

        Some of these are “airless” meaning the paint is driven by either a spinning disk or a reciprocating piston, no “air” is mxed with the paint (air can be used to drive the motor, though).

        The remaining sprayers use “air” in some fashion to pressurize, then atomize the paint, imparting the mist of pigment velocity to carry it to the intended surface.

        Now, those sprayers can run from tiny airbrushes right up to some honking-big HPLV spray rigs. And you have to know the difference, lest you wind up looking Phillip Glass at a monster truck rally.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2

      Phillip Glass, of course!

      Adores: 3
  27. 2010 November 2

    BEFORE 6 AND AFTER 6

    Two times that Sparky likes to have a smoke…

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 2
      Windrose permalink

      Or a little drinky-poo.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 2
        Lola permalink

        I’m not sharing my flask with Sparky.

        Adores: 2
  28. 2010 November 2
    Bavec permalink

    “THANKS FOR LOOKING PHILLIP”

    Thank you so much for noticing. I try my best to look Phillip every day

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 2
      SilvaNoir permalink

      [MST3K “Horror at Party Beach” quote]
      Quick, Look Polish!
      [/MST3K]

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’ve been trying to look more Margaret lately, but I think it’s coming off as more of a Beth with tones of Janet.

      Adores: 2
  29. 2010 November 2
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Random thought:

    VOTE and VETO contain the same letters. Discuss.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 2
      NotMyName permalink

      GOD and DOG have the same letters too. I think that discussion would be more interesting.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        Addicted Reader permalink

        A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

        But that’s less relevant to today being election day!

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 2
      ZODIAC permalink

      Reminds me of my old Baptist Pastor telling all of us kids in church that Santa is evil…because if you rearrange Satan you get Santa!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 2
        Windrose permalink

        The last person who tried to rearrange Satan got a shiny gold fiddle, I think.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 2

          I still say the devil won.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 2
        Addicted Reader permalink

        What would he do with EVIL, LIVE, and VILE having the same letters?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3

          As Hammy pointed out, christina and rich saint have the same letters too. I don’t feel much like either, most days.

          Adores: 2
  30. 2010 November 2
    NotMyName permalink

    I’m snarkless today, because I’m saving it up for tomorrow.

    No, I’m not crazy, I just thought it sounded funny. Also, I haven’t been on here much today…goodnight!

    Adores: 2
  31. 2010 November 2
    SilvaNoir permalink

    I just know I’m going to be thinking about S- saw zaws-S tomorrow.

    Adores: 1
  32. 2010 November 2
    LaKitta permalink

    *sigh* [OT/] It’s been a very long, very strange day for several reasons, not the least of which was waking up to see an old school mate’s picture all over the news as missing/abducted. She was eventually found, thankfully, but I spent a good part of the day reading through the abomination that is the newspaper website comment board looking for updates (they make the Sparkies on CL look eloquent and reasonable) and feeling an odd mix of emotions for a person I haven’t even spoken to in ten years. Couple that with various other life things and I just wasn’t ready to turn in for the night so I turned on the computer. The Miller Lite exchange between Hammy and Bridgete managed to single-handedly lift me out of my funk. Thank dog for YSAC, and a round of doors for everyone. [/OT]

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 3

      Aww, I’m glad I could help. And I’m glad the girl was eventually found.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Yeah, I can be in the worst of moods, but visiting YSAC helps make the day better

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      I won’t drag everyone down with the punch to my heart I had this evening, but it is good to know that if I needed to talk it out, you would be here and understand, and make me smile. So LaKitta, glad you feel welcome and glad things turned out well. 8)

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 3

        Many hugs for both LaKitta and Windrose. I hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Lola permalink

          Seconded.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Thirded.

          Adores: 3
  33. 2010 November 3
    Windrose permalink

    Tankergirl! Where are you? Here’s your not so up-side-down Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Phillipdelphia! Gonna go sawzaw some zees. . .

    Adores: 1

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