YSaC, Vol. 839: What an unusual view!

2010 November 3

Pink Eleghant – m4w


I need to meet a Pink Eleghant. It’s hard in find in California

I understand why he’s having trouble finding a pink Eleghant in California. The Eleghant is highly sought after by collectors. It was only manufactured for about four years, and most were in taupe or chartreuse. The pink ones were only produced by the plant in San Marino, and were plagued by manufacturing issues as well as frogs and locusts. Despite their large size, making them nearly impossible to park, the interior still managed to feel cramped, due to the poor design of the parking brake and periscope. The ones that didn’t burst into flames due to problems with the radio aerials were mostly destroyed by killer bees.

If you CAN find an intact one, there’s still the risk of being arrested just for standing next to it due to various violations of international trade treaties, OSHA regulations, indecency statutes and several major religious commandments. If you’d like to see a good example of one in person, I can suggest several museums in places that haven’t suffered any major earthquakes for at least the last few hours.

Thanks for the learning opportunity, Sarah!

170 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 November 3

    M4W. Meet for whiskey.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      Pink Eleghants on parade.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 3

        I summon my pink elephants using wild turkey.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I summon pirate elephants with Captain Morgan.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          How do you summon an ‘eleghant’?

          Craigslist ad…hahaha. Oh, right.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3

          Ahoy Criminals! I see the Khrahcen!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          CapnMac permalink

          I was going to roll dice, but I keep being distracted by something.
          Why, yes, I’ll have another.
          What is it?
          It’s Grrrreen!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Oooh…Capn!

          Star Trek – TOS….FTW!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Meej permalink

          I cast “Summon Bigger Fish.”

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3

        Thanks for the earworm, LL.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          8)

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3

      Show me the way to the next whiskey bar
      oh don’t ask why (her drinks are too far…)

      Adores: 8
  2. 2010 November 3

    *Drinks some rubbing alcohol*

    Ooooo, pretty Pink Eleghants.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      If you have a chaser of dry cleaning fluid the eleghants turn a purple paisley.

      And your arms go numb.

      There may also be some twitching.

      The ad doesn’t still doesn’t make any sense, though.

      :falls to ground foaming at the mouth:

      Adores: 20
      • 2010 November 3
        Lola permalink

        *gets length of rubber hose*
        Man, I hate it when people don’t just stick to the flask. This stomach-pumping business is getting old.

        Adores: 15
        • 2010 November 3
          CapnMac permalink

          It’s not the denatured alcohol so much as the Red Dye #2 in the Sterno that is so annoying a clean-up . . .

          Here’s more activated charcoal . . .

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3

          Don’t confuse the activated charcoal with the quick-light charcoal or we’ll be having SJ BBQ.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          As long as no one tries to roast marshmallows over my flaming ass, I’m cool with it.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          As long as no one tries to roast marshmallows over my flaming ass

          Well, so much for my entertainment…. guess I’ll just read a book.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          OMG… I should clarify SJ (dang no-edit) . Not that you being on fire is entertaining, but I had a visual of those Jack@$$ guys trying to set their farts on fire.. in the name of entertainment. That’s what I meant.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          I should clarify SJ

          Good idea, LL – I’ll burn much cleaner without all those pesky solids and impurities. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Just kidding. I don’t condone setting anyone on fire. Unless it’s one of those jackasses on Jackass.)

          I’m sort of enjoying the no-edit days.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          As long as no one tries to roast marshmallows over my flaming ass, Iโ€™m cool with it.

          Why yes, waiter, I think I’ll have “Le petite ass-flambeau”, medium-rare, with a side of the “Open-fire roasted chestnuts”.

          Ah, an excellent choice sir! – and may I recommend an Eleghant wine to go with that?

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Hey, Gramps, where ya’ been?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Hi AR (and all the rest) – Too much school, the little critters are wearing me out! I get home and it is about all I can do to make dinner. By the time I recover enough to get the brain to work above a first grade level, my snark checks out for the evening.

          I have been lurking about, most days, but have had nothing of any value to add to the discussion (Yeah, I know – when did that ever stop me before?) ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3

          S’mores!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3

          as S, mores!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3

          I nominate My Flaming Ass for out-and-in-your-face disco-billy band name of the day.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 3
          Tankerbell permalink

          :::Primps, pats hair, checks teeth for green stuff:::

          Hi, Grampdaddy! I’ve missed you!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          That’s just cute.

          Adores: 2
  3. 2010 November 3

    “It’s a hard on to find in California.” The Sparkies are really going to go crazy now that their
    “Special Brownies” are now illegal there too.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      I’m leaving now to reboot my brain…. I seem to be on your wavelength, and I feel squooshed right now. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 3

        At least you aren’t on my wavelength. You’d feel dirty, and a little hungry, but mostly dirty.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          I warshed my face and ‘ands, I did.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          If you’re feeling dirty, you’re doin’ it right…… right?

          Adores: 2
  4. 2010 November 3
    LimeLolly permalink

    The commercials are wrong. You can’t find it all in California. Maybe Kentucky?

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      It was a very close race in California. My son will be able to vote in the next election. I believe we will have it all very, very soon. 8)

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 3

        But you got the third best* pair of eyebrows in the world running the state again.

        *Top honors goes, of course, to Archie, second place will always be my beloved Sam Donaldson.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          I am so happy to have Governor Moonbeam back! I loved him in the ’70s, and I am ready for the sequel. I also like that he is now both the youngest and the oldest person to be elected governor of California.

          Adores: 3
  5. 2010 November 3

    “It’s hard in find in California”

    Yer doin’ it wrong…

    Should be, “It’s hard on find in California”

    That will make things a LOT easier, Sparky.

    In fact, Mr. Sheen’s on line two for you.

    *retreats to corner*

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 November 3
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      I am so happy.

      Adores: 9
  6. 2010 November 3
    sarajean80 permalink

    Welp, Uncle Google was no help what so ever. I am going to guess that the guy’s either a chubby-chaser who likes to play dress-up, or this is some new drug euphemism that has somehow not made it on the internet yet.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 3

      If you’re putting a dress on your pink elephant, you’re doing it wrong.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3
        LimeLolly permalink

        No… that would be right. Who wants to see a naked elephant?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Maybe a raincoat would be more effective.

          What?

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 3
        Meej permalink

        Huh. I don’t remember that from the list of costumes.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Putting a dress on a pink pachyderm is pretty much irreleghant. However, taking a dress off a pink pachyderm is totally releghant—does it come off at the trunk end or at the tail end?

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      manz permalink

      I looked on urban dictionary. I believe he’s looking to date a gay republican, which I can imagine would be hard to find in CA. We have plenty of gay people, and certainly some republicans, but I bet there’s not a whole lot of overlap.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 3
        Windrose permalink

        But he states M4W. Close, but still not there.

        Adores: 3
  7. 2010 November 3
    MandaB permalink

    Missed Connections – I was the calassay rose-colored pachyderm at Jimmy’s Peanut Emporium last Friday. You were the handsome guy buying 5 pounds of roasted peanuts and couldn’t stop looking at my trunk. Wish I had said something, but all I could do was trumpet and try not to charge at you. Write back – let’s get together!

    Adores: 28
  8. 2010 November 3
    Windrose permalink

    Up until Sparky’s unfortunate attempt to hook up with someone, this was a very private and unseen aspect of furries, often called Ellies. Sparky will be in real trouble when the Matriarch finds out about his ad.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3

      There could be in theory…. there are already “scalies” for reptile people who can’t be called furries due to lack of fur…
      (I just draw pictures with animal-people in them, don’t judge)

      Adores: 6
  9. 2010 November 3
    Bavec permalink

    Now now, let’s not make fun of Sparky. There’s nothing wrong with realistic expectations when it comes to the color pink.
    Ahem.
    Having said as much, I think a pink oliphant would be much cooler.

    Adores: 3
  10. 2010 November 3
    Lilly permalink

    I looked up pink elephant on urban dictionary and I still don’t know what this guy is looking for
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pink+elephant

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      Uncle Google found me some rather disturbing Twilight-Rule 34 fanfic titled “Pink Elephant”. I’m hoping it is unrelated to today’s ad.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 3
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        SJ – there is a place call the Pink Elephant in Durham. Maybe he wanted to meet there and doesn’t realize that NC and Cal aren’t very close to each other.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Nope – I was wrong. Upon further research there is a Pink Elephant Liquor Store in Cal. I’m sure that explains it all.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          For some (not so) shocking reason most of the stuff Google kicked out was alcohol related. I’m sure it is just a coincidence.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Sparky was right after all – if the Pink Elephant is in Durham, it would be hard to find in California. What kind of mix-up let this perfectly correct ad show up on YSaC?

          Adores: 3
  11. 2010 November 3
    Lola permalink

    I don’t know why it would be hard to find a bottle of Delirium Tremens in California. He’s just not looking hard enough.
    [fermented beverage corey] There is a Belgian beer that comes in an opaque, off-white bottle and which is named Delirium Tremens (commonly referred to as “the DTs”) and which has on its label pink elephants. Someone has a sense of humor.
    I am particularly enamoured of this link because of the matching glass with little pink elephants all over it: http://www.united-nations-of-beer.com/images/delirium-tremens-beer-21351500.jpg
    [/hic]

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3

      There’s also alligators wearing tuxes and holding drink trays. Best. Beer. Ever.

      Also, the beer is pretty good, too.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 3

        Heyyyy….I hear the beer’s pretty good too…that true? Or is it just that the beer’s pretty good?

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 3
          mudslicker permalink

          That would be the So-So-Suds on tap.

          Adores: 2
  12. 2010 November 3
    Mindfield permalink

    Clearly, Sparky has been trying way too hard not to think about a pink elephant, and now he’s obsessed with it.

    Alternatively, Mirabel airport in Quebec has often been called “the pink elephant” because it was built too far away from any major cities to be of any use to people and so was deemed useless. The name probably stems from the older practise of people having pink elephant exchanges, where they exchange useless nick-knacks they don’t want.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      Mindfield permalink

      Whyfor my corey tags no workee anymore? Do I have to use the &gt and %lt codes?

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      Lola permalink

      Actually, [personal recollection corey] I seem to recall that the useless gift exchanges were called “white elephants.” [/memory corey]

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        Same here.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 3
        Mindfield permalink

        You know I think you’re right now that I think about it. White elephants. Which is also what they called Mirabel airport.

        But pink elephants are still a psychological experiment.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3

          [elephantlabcorey]Just wondering….has anyone ever documented the “seeing pink elephant” phenomenon? Or is it, as I suspect, all just a figment of Uncle Walt’s imagination?[/endlabelephantcorey]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Not the mythical pink elephants – I have been … incapacitated enough to see trees growing out of the walls, but no elephants.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Mindfield permalink

          I’ve never heard of a “seeing pink elephants” experiment, though I’ve seen it depicted in cartoons, which I always thought was just an attempt at changing up the usual seeing stars or birds after a conk on the head.

          I was referring to the experiment where someone is told under no circumstances to think of a pink elephant — which ends up being exactly what they do specifically because they were told not to.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Alrighty, then…anyone care to partake in a drink-till-you-see-pink-lellellelellelelepants shpermiment…..??

          In the interesht of schience, I sampled the control group.

          Repeatedly.

          Hic.

          Oooh…look…pink lelellelelellephants..on parade..

          Thish mish is confizz..erm..fonkerm..um…thish mish is…not true..

          *collapses in corner*

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          CJ.. THAT’S what you should have done instead of taking expired cold medicine. Best homemade remedy is the cowboy method. Hang a hat on a bedpost and drink hot toddies until you see two hats.

          If you see elephants or other critters, you drank too far.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 3

          CJ, that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wheee! Instead of Hump Day we can have Drunk Day.

          :plugs in blender:

          Anyone else want a Nyquil daiquiri?

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 3
          CapnMac permalink

          [recolection corey]
          I want to remember that “white elephant” is a sort-of portmandeau combining “white sale” items with unwanted hideous items in the quaint era before regifting became socially permissible.

          So, when colorblind Aunt Totty gave newlyweds elebenty quilts of every possible color, or Tauntie Loupy gave you her heirloom set of ‘china’ come over on the boat from the Duchy of Aintherenomore, such things were like elephants in the room. They were also “white goods” or household items.

          The “pink elephant”–if memory serves–is from the days of “bathtub gin” where all manner of skeevy products were sold, and consumed, for effect. During those heady days of Prohibition, traveling circuses and carneies were common, too. So, it was not unusual to see a line of exotic beasts being herded through town (or out of it, carnies fleecing one too many deputies). Through blood-shot eyes, an elephant might be seen as pink. Especially as the smaller, not-quite-albino Indian* elephants were the prefered pachyderm for traveling circuses.
          [/corey]

          _______________________
          *Ok head just emptied, so the varietal name of the sub-species of Indian elephant in question has just wandered off. It’s about 2/3 the size of a traditional Indian Elephant, paler in color, and can sunburn slightly, too. Mind like a rat-trap today–forgotten about in the attic and ganwed at by smaller creatures, with only remnants of ‘something’ on the bait paddle…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          mudslicker permalink

          … just a figment of Uncle Waltโ€™s imagination

          I think Uncle Walt was more fond of hippos in too-too tutus.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Aspirin for all. CJ especially will need these in the am.

          Oh and there will be a short quiz in the morning created and administered by our own CapnMac. Be sure to brush up on pink elephants.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3

          How can I get in the control group?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3

          I think that’s the out of control group.

          Adores: 6
  13. 2010 November 3
    Camille permalink

    I sympathize with Sparky. There’s just not enough eleghance in life anymore, in pink or any other color.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      I blame the flowers. They just haven’t been vividly colored and sweet-smelling lately. I don’t know what’s wrong with them, they’ve got a blanket and everything!

      Adores: 2
  14. 2010 November 3
    NotMyName permalink

    The onlt thing I can think of, seeing how I don’t drink, would be a pet from WoW. It’s a small pink elephant-like thing that only is available once a year. Other than that, I got nothing.*

    *Yeah, I should say “I don’t have anything,” but I’m lazy.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 3
      Lola permalink

      “I got nothin'” is an acceptable response indicating you have tried and are at a loss for comments/words/thoughts, despite the effort. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        Is “I aint got nothin'” an acceptable substitute?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          No no, sarajean, then you would need to say “It’s not that I aint got nothin’ ” to have the correct number of negatives involved.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          I think the proper grammur is: I cain’t say that I ain’t got nothin’.

          Adores: 4
  15. 2010 November 3
    Tankerbell permalink

    According to Lilly’s Urban Dictionary link, Sparky either wants a french cigarette, not to talk about something obvious and awkward, or to experience DT’s. Or, if he didn’t simply mispeel “elephant”, he wants a lovely pink gown with marabou accents.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3

      Work with me here, Tanker…

      Suppose, and I’m just spitballin’, but suppose Sparky is fond of smoking French cigarettes whilst wearing his marabou festooned pink gown, and discussing his latest awkward moments during the DTs?

      It could explain a lot…you must admit.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 3
        sarajean80 permalink

        It might explain a lot, but it also raises even more questions.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          I’ll take the pink marabou gown for 1,000, Alex.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          HEY!! That’s my marabou gown! It goes with the red negligee and the bicycle I don’t have.

          (Let’s just forget this came up, ok?)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 4
          Bombdude permalink

          but it also raises even more questions

          That’s not all it raises, in the pink marabou gown…

          What?

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 3
        Tankerbell permalink

        I like it. I think we should run with this. We’ll answer the questions as they come up.

        On the other hand… WIIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDYYYYYYYY!! CJ spitballed at me!!!!!

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          CJ, you just won a week on the Snark Lounge clean up roster. And with all the alkyhol being passed around today, it’s gonna be a sewer. 8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Tank — at least CJ’s not breathing your air. You need to look on the positive side.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3

          “Festoon”. That’s a great word. Not as fun as “Serendipitous”, but a great word.

          Adores: 5
  16. 2010 November 3
    Selkie permalink

    Well, it’s 3 years too late, but Sparky could have found one cheap in Massachusetts: http://www.salemnews.com/local/x1150878813/Pinky-the-elephant-a-Route-114-landmark-can-be-yours?keyword=topstory. Pinky was a local landmark when I was a kid. I think he decided Massachusetts was safer territory for his kind once Prop. 8 passed in Cali…

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      Are. . .are you really a selkie? Really really?

      Adores: 10
      • 2010 November 3
        NotMyName permalink

        A selkie is a…mythological creature, right? Something to do with water or horses? Or maybe spirits, like a nymph?

        I love mythology, but I still lose track of them sometimes. My favorite (see: most unlikely or idiotic) is the Baq.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3
          christina permalink

          I think that’s a kelpie, or at least that’s what Harry Potter tells me.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 4
          Windrose permalink

          A selkie is out of Celtic mythology, kind of like were-seals. Pretty neat. Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Anne Scarborough (er, not sure of the speeling there) have a great series of sci-fi fantasy books based on people who turn into seals on a planet mainly colonized by Celtic and Innuit people.

          Adores: 0
  17. 2010 November 3
    Kae permalink

    I am sad. My brain is so damaged from working at the polls for fifteen hours yesterday that everything I can think of is pablum—PABLUM–when compared to Dan’s utter brilliance.*

    *Of course, that might be because Dan’s really, really funny today.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      The Ostrimu does seem to be in top form. I wonder if the post can be put in the Golden Lotus Box?

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      Tankerbell permalink

      I had the same reaction – this post is genius. All Hail The Ostrimu*!!!!!

      *Bees be upon him

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      Kae, I did that once. Once. And the pablum reflects most of the candidates and legislature on the ballot. It will wear off in 2 to 4 years.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3
        Kae permalink

        I’ve actually done this a few times…four? Five? I forget. This was the worst because the city has introduced computers into the mix.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          Oh No! San Diego did that the one year I worked the polls. We had the first versions of the machines, and some how they had been sent out to the polls without the interface screen ready to come up when turned on. Took me about 20 minutes of poking around to figure out where that screen was hidden, and get it operations. Sheesh. Never again!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Kae permalink

          Oh, no, see, the voters still had paper. The election workers had a computerized poll book to look up registered voters. It was only the second election with the system, and I was the only one at our precinct under 65, and…

          Adores: 3
  18. 2010 November 3

    Hills like pink eleghants?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3

      “Hills like White Heffalumps”. Best Bad Hemingway ever.

      Adores: 2
  19. 2010 November 3
    Addicted Reader permalink

    All I can think of is that this is some kind of snooty accent:

    “My pink dress must be truly eleghant, dahling, or no one will notice me.”

    Adores: 4
  20. 2010 November 3

    Psssst, I have a job interview tomorrow in another section of the orbiting cave of technological wonders.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      mudslicker permalink

      Hammy in the O.C. Hehe….

      Good thoughts.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Ditto the good thoughts!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3
        Tankerbell permalink

        Good juju (and not too much Axe body spray) be upon you.

        Make sure the new gig still lets you hang out with us all day, though. And that you will still be in control of the blue water release valve, for when we get trolls.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Well, the new job should give me more freedom and a lot less stress for the same, or more pay…less travel too, yipee!!

          “TeeNeeTee, powerful juju box.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3

          Good Luck!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      Don’t ask to use the Death Ray until after they decide to hire you!โ™ฅ!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 3

        They don’t let me use the death ray anymore after the…incident.

        I am an expert in tractor beaming though.

        *Uses tractor beam to ring SJ’s doorbell*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          NotMyName permalink

          Was that the accident with the dinosaurs, the one with the Grand Canyon, or the one with Niagara Falls?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3

          Jonestown (Kool aid my a$$)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Lola permalink

          If I wish you good luck, do you promise not to use the death ray on me?

          (I do mean it. Someone’s got to keep the puppies in kiblets!)

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 3

      Good luck, Hammy!

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      Cool, better job, get to keep the technology! You’re a shoo-in. So, does this company have any openings in California?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3

        We tried to open a cave in California, but the Hippies moved in and wouldn’t leave.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Good luck Hammy!! Be sure to wave as you fly over.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      MandaB permalink

      Sending good thoughts. Don’t mistakenly shoot them down!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Hammy – best wishes for the interview. Hope it goes as well as your comments on YSaC…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3

        Oh crepe I’m domed.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          That was intended as a compliment, Hammy. However, I can understand the confusion. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 3

          It’s one of those “structured” interviews, if you have never done one before they are a nightmare. They really ask you nothing about your qualifications, questions like, “Name a time you failed to meet a deadline, how did that make you feel and what did you do to improve yourself.”
          A whole hour of those type of questions, it’s brutal!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Nah, those are easy questions – best response is, “Why the f… would you ask a stupid question like that? You must have taken the short bus when they drove over to pick up smarts. Of course, it would explain why you are in HR* instead of having a real job…”

          You should feel free to use my suggestions, Hammy. I’m glad to be of assistance – let me know how those ideas work out.

          *This is purely a work of poetic license. Any relationship to real HR people is purely coincidental. No live HR’s were hurt in the creation of this comment. In the event of an interview lasting more than 4 hours, see your bartender.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 3

          Hey! You’ve been reading my notes…

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 4
      Bombdude permalink

      Good Luck Hammy!!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 4

        Excellent karma for our Hammy…and I’ve done those structured interviews before…tag team, two people, and yes I actually laughed at one of those stupid questions.

        Been working here 8 1/2 yrs. now. FINALLY someone “got” me. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Adores: 1
  21. 2010 November 3
    Windrose permalink

    Mudsy’s in the box! Hooray!

    Also, Snark Lounge Calendar: No Fault Monday, Do-over Tuesday, Drink Like You Mean It Wednesday, Sure Happy It’s Thursday! (S.H.I.T.) and Friday, ‘Nuff Said.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 3
      mudslicker permalink

      I know! My duct tape plan seems to be coming together. MWAHAHAHAHAHA

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      sarajean80 permalink

      So … Does that mean I can yell “Yay, I’m S.H.I.T.! Aren’t you S.H.I.T. too?” tomorrow?

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 3
      NotMyName permalink

      What about No Line Weekend?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 3
        Grampdaddy permalink

        No Lime Weekend! – What the heck am I supposed to put in the vodka on the rocks?? Why are you all prejudiced against limes? I think you are all bigots and are just jealous because the comments I make get all the adores… I’ll show you! Let me just get this link posted about the relationship between limes, dysentery, Proposition 19, the Tea Party, bed bugs, Sarah Palin, and GLBT fruitflies. Then I’ll come back later and heap vile invective upon one or some of you at random……

        Oh – he said No LINE Weekend…. never mind…….

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 3

          Sounds like you did a couple “lines” before you typed that…
          ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Grampdaddy permalink

          You just have no appreciation for candor, man!

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 3
          MandaB permalink

          Reading that made me miss Gilda Radner. “Never mind…”

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3
          NotMyName permalink

          GLBT fruitflies

          There are LGBT fruitflies?

          Yeah, that’s all I got out of the candor-rant.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          NotMyName permalink

          Oh, and it seems to me that christina and Mindfield get most of the doors. That’s my perception, anyways…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3

          Me? I’m flattered that you think so, but I am no match for the smiling dog or certain assplosive entrees. You might be confusing me with SJ BBQ, she usually gets a good number of doors.
          I hope the new phone has doors, there are a few folks here who are extremely underserved in the door department.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          Excuse me, Phone Kiosk Worker, do you have any phones with doors?

          I’m sorry, miss. Doors? On a phone?

          Yes, I have been without doors for far too long, and I insist the new phone has doors!

          Uh. There’s a panel back here for the battery.

          Sold!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 4
          Bombdude permalink

          assplosive entrees

          WOAH!! What restaurant serves those?!?! I want to avoid that one…

          Hope it’s not a chain…

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 3
      Lola permalink

      Drink Like You Mean It?

      *follows orders*

      Adores: 3
  22. 2010 November 3

    Pink Eleghant โ€“ m4w
    *Anagram fun*

    Him Knew Alp Gent (Geico caveman met Edmund Hillary)

    Hewn Anklet Gimp (You are not supposed to carve them on)

    Ante, Phlegm, Wink (Good poker ploy)

    Thin Elk Pawn Gem (Skinny deer pawns wedding ring)

    Then Men Gawk Lip (Hi Miss Jolie)

    Get Hemp, Ink Lawn (I said MOW the lawn, stoner)

    Helm, Gin, Tank, Pew (Drunk Abrams driver runs into a church)

    New Mint Kelp Hag (Popeyeโ€™s latest enemy)

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 3
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Ante, Phlegm, Wink (Good poker ploy)

      That’s one of my all-time favorites from Anagram Fun.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 3
      Tankerbell permalink

      Does the Orbiting Cave of Technological Wonders Parent Company have an anagram division? Cuz… damn. That’s some good stuff.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 3
        NotMyName permalink

        Also, does the Orbital Cave of Technology Wonders accept volunteers to test things? Specifically in the weapons division?

        What?

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 3

          We need a another food taster…

          Adores: 3
  23. 2010 November 3
    NotMyName permalink

    Anyone else getting an ad for cranes, or construction safety?

    If anyone has already said this, please note that I just returned from college, have not refreshed my browser, and decided to type this because I’m too lazy to look to see if anyone else has already said this.

    That made sense, right?

    Adores: 1
  24. 2010 November 3
    christina permalink

    Chrome gave me a 400 bad request a few moments ago. I’ve looked at a few help forums and they all seem to think this is related to spyware. I keep my protections up to date, and I just ran a scan anyway and nothing showed up.

    Adores: 1
  25. 2010 November 4
    Windrose permalink

    Mudslicker, Mudsy, Little Mudsy-kins! Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Eleghant’s Graveyard!

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 November 4
    rooh permalink

    Poor boy. Now that prop 19 didn’t go through, he’s lost his chance to see pink eleghants in California.

    Adores: 2
  27. 2010 November 4
    Ladycrim permalink

    And if you now have “Pink Elephants on Parade” in your head and have decided you must download it, I highly recommend the version by Lee Press-On and the Nails. It’s on iTunes.

    Adores: 2
  28. 2010 November 4
    woofless permalink

    I think he’s referring to meth. Just a guess, but I’ve heard the term used….the fact that it’s “hard to find in California” kind of eliminates alcohol and gays, even gay Republicans, LOL.

    Meth itself isn’t exactly unheard of in CA, but “pink meth” may be….which is what I’ve heard “pink elephant” refer to. Sometimes meth has an off-color tint to it- blue, pink, yellow, etc. And some users are convinced that one color is “superior” to any other….even though it really just has to do with a screw-up in the cooking process, an incomplete “wash” or something. I believe the pink color is related to the use of red phosphorous. Makes no difference to the quality or the “high” but some people swear that it makes you hallucinate, or something. Hence the term, pink elephant.

    Not that I’m, er, speaking from any kind of extensive personal learning experiences, or anything. I learned this all on the Discovery channel and from watching Breaking Bad, I promise.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 4
      Windrose permalink

      We believe you, woofless. *wink*

      Adores: 1
  29. 2010 November 5
    Feeling depraved permalink

    Am I the only one who knows this is a type of ecstasy?

    This only sort of belongs on here. Yeah, this person’s a loser for looking for drugs on CL, but he doesn’t suck at it…especially since so many people didn’t catch the actual meaning. This would indicated he actually doesn’t suck at Craigslist, right?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      Lola permalink

      If it’s not spelled “eleghant” then they arguably still suck …

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 7
      woofless permalink

      Actually, the government happens to support my claim, that “pink elephant” is meth:

      http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov/streetterms/ByAlpha.asp?strTerm=P

      I think I’m going to save that link. It’s bound to come in handy when my dealer misunderstands my “street lingo” and tries to sell me the wrong stuff. Because nothing says “thug” like whipping out a fact-sheet from the White House Drug Policy website to prove a point.

      Adores: 1
  30. 2010 November 6
    tigprincess permalink

    I think Sparky should be given the Chair in Existential Philosophy at Harvard immediately – this is such a Zen posting. I will have to go and meditate on it for some while (after I stop shaking and crying that is). So close and so near to a Malapropism, I wonder if Sparky is male, breathing and single? Does he want a mate?

    Adores: 0
  31. 2013 February 18
    darrel permalink

    i found one! A BIG PINK ELEPHANT
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/stonethecrow/385894850/
    i was not even drunk at the time, either

    Adores: 1

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