YSaC, Vol. 841: Pictures now at 10% of original value.

2010 November 5

hot babe wantedd for phtot wrok i pay 1,000 for one days work ful


if your fit fu n rela lookign and tight tight body no fat i mean runners type body with d cups i will pay u 1,000 for 10 pictureso k thanx

Why yes, I happen to be a hot babe with D cups!  Here’s 10 pictures of iguanas.

Can I have my 1,000 now?  I hope it’s 1,000 peanut butter cups.  I like peanut butter!

Thanks for the awful, ed4ys!

254 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 November 5

    Do the d cups have to be da minty?

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 5
      Addicted Reader permalink

      It’s shells that should be minty, I think cups are better chocolaty.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        Make my cups coffee, please. I’m going to need it for this one.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5

          edidc ws9o m3egb9oed6y wsqa6y c9orfrf3e3e:?

          (Did somebody say coffee?)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Let me call the snark lounge coffee delivery boy.

          “Oh Billy, Taco desires a cup of your best French roast.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Chocolate cups filled with coffee?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Sounds good to me. You just have to drink faster than the chocolate melts.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          TypoMagic permalink

          Unless of course you like lap chocolate, which I’m sure somebody does.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I don’t think I want to Google “lap chocolate”. I’m just going to assume that there’s some sort of very specific and disturbing fetish that will haunt me until the end of my days that is called that.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 5
          Lola permalink

          Sarajean, there wasn’t … but there is now, now that you mention it. 8)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5
          TypoMagic permalink

          We’re voyaging into rule 34 territory. I think I’m gonna turn this boat around before somebody opens Google.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 5

          Already seen it. a “Daily Deviation” on Deviantart a month or so back had a naked woman covered in melted chocolate. Everywhere except her face, oddly. So I guess there’s people into that stuff. Probably the same kind of guys that are into mud wrestling. I don’t see the appeal.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          Saw one similar quite some time ago, but instead of a woman covered in chocolate, it was a woman being made of chocolate. I kept thinking, what a waste of perfectly good chocolate.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          *Heads to Dunkin’ Donuts*

          Here, SJ, I have some DD cups of coffee for ya. ;)

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        Camille permalink

        I think they should be D peanut butter cups.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          OT…sort of…

          Go see Uncle Google…and ask him about “down for the count”…when you get to the Halloween costumes you will see how my son-in-law dressed this Halloween.

          He won first prize, btw.

          Makes a mama proud.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Why AM I disappointed that it wasn’t some sort of WWE wrestling costume? I don’t even LIKE wrestling. But I like vampires.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Just curious – did he have to buy a doll or did he already have one?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          SJ, the doll came *snicker* as part of the costume.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          That’s so not what I was expecting.

          Adores: 1
  2. 2010 November 5

    You may have D-cups, dmrk, but do you have a runners type body? I certainly do! I even remembered where I buried it.

    Maybe we could combine our resources and make some money.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 5
      Windrose permalink

      Taco I doubt your runner’s body is still tight tight. Depending upon how long it’s been there, it might be, well, runny.

      Adores: 16
      • 2010 November 5
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Eeew.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          TypoMagic permalink

          I Concur. Eeew.

          Windy, you took the wholesome humor of me digging up a body I just happened to have burried in my back yard and turned it weird.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          It’s a gift. I tried to return it, but I need a receipt.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          TM, you can’t blame this one on WR.

          Also, “burried”? Does that have anything to do w/ donkeys?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5
          TypoMagic permalink

          The lack of an edit function makes toca harder to understand.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          TM (whatever that stands for today), why is it that your name is sometimes a link and sometimes not?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You should enroll in the TacoMagic School of Mug Typing. It seems to have done wonders for Sparky. He/she/it is almost coherent in this one.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5

          I’m a name link ninja. You never know when I’m going to link my name!

          Bwahaha!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Toca? You mean you’re Jason Mraz’s back-up vocalist and master of the djembe drums? Why didn’t you TELL me?!?!?!

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5

      I think you mean runny runny.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 5

        Burried- Eng. v. Use of donkeys to dig holes.
        “After Taco dahmered the young runner, he burried her with the help of Miss Juneypie
        and Jack.”

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          Seriously, when can we have the edit back? How much Palpal do you want?
          I will sell my plasma if I have to.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Don’t. The level of phlebotimist quality out there will just result in bruising and annoying scar tissue about the veins, and you will be blamed for failing to have veins suitable for ham-fisted fistula drivers.

          Adores: 1
  3. 2010 November 5
    CoffDrop permalink

    ratsa’ ruck my inscrutabre Orientar friend…..

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 5

      Ruh roh.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      kelli permalink

      [Slight rant] Rugs are Oriental, people are Asian. Some Asian languages do not have the sound that the letter L makes in English and that is why when some Asian people speak English they may have trouble with that sound. I havelived with many Chinese people and a Japanese guy and their English was far better than many Americans that I know. I really think the “r for l,” the bucktooth and big glasses, and other so-called humor directed at Asians needs to go the same way as blackface. Both are racist and out-dated [/rant]

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 5
        TypoMagic permalink

        On that note:

        The highest scorer on the English portion of the academic track meet in highschool? A German exchange student who joined in just as a lark. The highest scorer on the Japanese option: my friend Laura (ahead of two native Japanese speakers).

        Lesson: If you have to try hard to learn something, you actually end up knowing it better. Not really funny or anything, just kind of interesting.

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5

        Amen, Kelli!

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        Innana permalink

        By the way WHY is it ok for rugs to be oriental and people only Asian?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Oriental is a style of carpet, not where it was made.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Innana permalink

          Ah, thanks, I always wonderd. And I always assumed they were REALLY MADE there. Like Panama hats. And French toast.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 5

          You mean French toast isn’t really made in Panama? My illusions are shattered!

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 November 5

          Waaaah! This is as bad as the time I learned that the easterbunny really subcontracts with my parents to get the eggs in the house every easter.

          But that’s part of growing up I guess. Sorta like learning that Santa pre-deliveres all the presants up to a month in advance because it’s not possible for him to actually do it all in one night.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          *Waves his hand*
          These are not the typos you are looking for.
          He can go about his buisness.
          Move along.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          These are not the tight hoes I was looking for, check.

          *wanders off*

          Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 5
        CapnMac permalink

        [more o/t]
        “Orient” just means “east”; the antonym being “occident” for west.

        One of the divergences of Chinese and Japanese is the “L” and “R” diphtong families. Japanese (Nihongo) uses “R” dipthongs; Chinese does not, but does have a family of “L” diphthongs.

        The use of “asian” is fascinating in this sense, too, as Asia, the continent, runs from about the Dardenelles to Kamchatka–call that from atound 75ºN to the Equator, and from about 020ºE to 170ºW.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          Sorry, I was disoritented, occidentally.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          I had a family of dipthongs living under my porch. Bastards. Ended up having to have Billy the Exterminator come get rid of them.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          I always thought a Dipthong was what you scooped up with Tacothongs.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 8
          Innana permalink

          Yep, I still don’t understand why Oriental is only Ok to designate a style and not a place or people from that place.

          And doesn’t Asia originally mean Eastern or “Oriental”, anyway???

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 November 5
        CoffDrop permalink

        Kelli – I would have responded sooner, but was out on a mission. It was not my intent to make fun of any particular group – but reviewing my post, it sure turned out that way. I thank you for pointing out my fox paw – as you can tell, my social skill set is short a few tools. With your help I’ve added a missing one today. Again thanks for your help…….

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          CD, We learn something new here every day!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          At least no one called Sharpton…

          Oops. Line 2 for you, Coffdrop.

          Adores: 2
  4. 2010 November 5

    Phtot Wrok=Vietnamese Elvis impersonator

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 5
      Bianchi Sound permalink

      Line 3 for you, HamCan.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5

        Mickey Rooney’s on line five for you, Bianchi. He wants to know who Al is and why you “giva hiss numba?!”

        Adores: 3
  5. 2010 November 5
    Todd permalink

    Somebody needs to brush up on his one-handed typing.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      Lola permalink

      If they’re typing with one hand, and the other is … then how do they hold the brush?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        The brush would be a hard on to hold.

        Adores: 1
  6. 2010 November 5
    Innana permalink

    “if your fit fu”

    This seems somewhat hostile, doesn’t it?

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 5

      I’m just wondering what he wants with my fit. He can’t have it anyway, it’s mine.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      [matt] Clearly Sparky is a Mr. T fan. He wants your fit, fu! [/matt]

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        Camille permalink

        I pity the fu.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5

          These are not the FUs I was looking for, check.

          *Wanders off*

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 5
      ActionBatch permalink

      fit fu = the new kung fu? bruce lee is pleased…

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5

      No fair, Innana! Why does everyone pick on the ‘fu? I blame PETA.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5

      If the FU fits wear it!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5

        That would be my rebuttal outfit to Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Innana permalink

          I am completely lost here.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          fu = ‘fu = tofu

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Meredith gave me a “monthly bag of ‘fu” when I claimed steak of the month clubs were discriminatory against vegetarians. I like the way ‘fu sounded so I adopted it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          To’fu or not to’fu?
          That is the question.
          Whether ’tis better to have Pad Thai,
          or suffer the outrages of the vegetarian Kung Pau with baby corn….

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        I see this being the slogan for the new generation… of course, the FU stands for something; Felicitous Underoos. ^_^

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          “the new generation” would describe it differently I think.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          ActionBatch permalink

          Whar ma teef?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Bombdude permalink

          In honor of the snark lounge, I was thinking “Facetious Undertones”…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          This is not the Thai food I was looking for, check.

          *Wanders off*

          Adores: 1
  7. 2010 November 5
    kelli permalink

    Ignoring all the typos, which is neigh impossible, Sparky wants a woman who has no fat, a “runner’s type body, and D cups for 10 pictures. Now assuming he means D cup size breast, also assuming he wants to take photographs (I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that he wants this runner with D cups to wear very little in these photos)and assuming he means that he will pay $1000 for the 10 pictures he takes; that’s not really a very good deal. Since Sparks wants the woman to have *no* fat, she’d have to have implants (breasts are mostly fat tissue), implants are pretty expensive from what my flatchested friends tell me around $3000. Each picture Sparky takes is only worth $100. That means she could have a profit of, let me get the neighborhood catulator, why it’s salmon whiskas!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 5
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Not to mention D cups on a skinny body = Barbie-type proportions.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 5
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        As my 12 year old daughter is fond of tell everyone she knows; “no one looks like that unless they are almost dead”. Kid has a good grip on reality.

        Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 5
        mudslicker permalink

        I’m sorry, but D cups to a runner would be a liability. They’d have to wear goggles to prevent incessant black eyes.

        Adores: 14
      • 2010 November 5

        Not necessarily true, AR. “D cup” only means that the measurement around the breast is 4 to 5 inches bigger than the measurement around the lower chest. The skinnier the girl, the smaller the “D”.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          True, but generally when a person has those kinds of proportions they tend to be very mamotacular.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          The skinnier the girl, the smaller the “D”

          Would that be like a D- then? That’s barely passing.

          p.s. I’ve never heard of that. And I’ve had bewbees most of my life. This place is a wealth of information.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          I only just learned this when I dropped six inches off the number, but gained a letter, despite the fact that my bewbs are noticibly smaller.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          So now you are a phD?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          christina, I know that. In fact I believe I coreyed that up for you some time back. Or at least thought of doing so.

          What I meant to imply is that “runner’s body” and “D cups” don’t go so well together, as mudsy pointed out above. Also, D cups are still big relative to the rest of the body. Whether we’re talking 32D or 42D, there’s a lot of breast tissue there. And I think it tends to look especially disproportional on a skinny person. Half her body weight is in her boobs!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Would that be like a D- then? That’s barely passing.

          Mudsy, you have to remember to grade on a curve – or maybe two of them. :)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Was that you? Sorry, I thought it was EB. Thanks though, I actually went out and had a fitting after that so my bras fit way better. :D
          Maybe it’s all in proportion, I’m sure a girl with my body type but a foot shorter would have bigger looking breasts, even if there is less mass.
          As for the runner’s body, I run a minimum of five nights a week, I’m a mixture of bulky muscles and flabby fat (think Soviet Russian Olympic Athlete with slightly less facial hair), you think Sparky’d be interested?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          Don’t know about Sparky, christina, but Billy sure would!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          Christina, you already coreyed all over what I was going to share with the group about bra measurements. But while we’re on the subject, Sparky here does not specify that the photos must be nude, so how about I just head off to work and grab myself a Miraculous bra with my discount…there! Now I’m a 32D.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 5
        Meej permalink

        Barbie’d be way bigger than a D. As christina noted, it’s not actually that unreasonably large (given that it describes my wife, who’s essentially a healthy shape).

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          *Hands Meej a napkin*

          You’ve got some drool there.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          Meej permalink

          Yeah, well.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          I remember reading something about Barbie’s real world proportions where she would be about seven feet tall with a J cup, 14 inch waist and kid sized feet.
          On the positive side, she’d qualify for disability.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          Plus she’d still have all that great stuff. The convertible, the town house, all those clothes, a boyfriend with plastic hair and no genitalia…

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      Camille permalink

      I’m not sure “neigh” is the word you’re looking for here, unless Sparky is a horse. Which might explain the bad typos.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 5
        kelli permalink

        I wanted nigh, but for some odd reason my fingers wanted an e in there. Or it was a tribute to Sparky’s typos.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 5

        Which is also why he wants such a skinny woman… less heavy on the saddle. The cups will be cups of oats.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          With sugar cube nipples?

          *imagining conversation with Mila tonight, “what’d you do today, Mom?” “not much, went to school, went to work, accidently turned Sparky into a horse…pretty much the usual”

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 5
      Bombdude permalink

      implants are pretty expensive from what my flatchested friends tell me around $3000

      I can tell you from personal experience (of writing the check! sickos!) that, depending on the geographic location you are in, and the quality of services, they can cost $9,000…

      At least in RTP…

      Adores: 2
  8. 2010 November 5

    I always wondered what would happen if craigslist was invaded by cats…

    …now, I know…

    They demand d cups, full of d cream.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 5
      Bacontini permalink

      Bacontini not understand how he spell such a simple word wrong. Last Bacontini check, it spelled ‘de’.

      As always, de Bacontini is here for de ladies, especially when dey need de spelling help.

      Adores: 15
      • 2010 November 5
        Camille permalink

        It looks like bacontini already has de cup.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          *psst* Camille, you are in the Golden Lotus!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          And HamCan, Mindfield, Innana, and Cap’n Mac are sharing Camille’s Golden Lotus!

          (Boy, that sounds really wrong. And like a logistic nightmare.)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          These are not the sex acts I was looking for, check.

          *Wanders off*

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Wahdda I do now? ugh, head hurts (sinuses); joints ache (cold); not in a good place right now (combo, and with six, I did not get an eggroll <crankiness>)

          And, on topic of [cranky] whyhowcom basic html does not include and underline? Is it something that is still waiting in line at html factory #157 in Pyetorsgrad?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Bombdude permalink

          I hadn’t ever thought to look

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Bombdude permalink

          [corey]Actually, Cap’n, there is, but it doesn’t seem to be supported here. There is a general pppbbbt towards it in the HTML community since underlined text is usually a hyperlink, so even when it is supported, it is dicouraged. But you probably knew this already, and I am, as usual, being redundantly repetitious. [/corey]

          Adores: 2
  9. 2010 November 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    rela lookign

    What the whatity-what is Sparky trying to say? If you shift some letters around it reads “real looking” but that makes almost as little sense as what’s there. Is Sparky tired of taking pictures of all those mannequins that show up every time he posts a creepy ad on CraigsList?

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 5
      Addicted Reader permalink

      I think it is “real looking” – meaning nice big implants, but you can’t tell they’re fake.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      TypoMagic permalink

      So SJ. Is that today’s anagram fun?

      Ore Link Goal (We want to smelt!)

      Look Lag Rein (Something has to keep the bandwidth in check)

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        <3

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5
      Lola permalink

      I thought it meant really good looking … though I think AR might have the right answer. I guess he doesn’t want anyone with the usual, inflated, gravity-defying implants.

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5
      mudslicker permalink

      I love it when the Sparky ad spelling is so atrocious that even sarajean and Taco cannot contain their disgust at being unable to decipher it.

      I think he was looking for some Ragu spazghetto sauce.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5

        How’s it feel being lumped into the same category as the typo champion, SJ? :)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Isn’t that typoe? Or is it pecil?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I feel so speeshal now.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          You’re more than speeshal, sarajean. You’re hella-speeshal!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Is that anything like a hella-copper?

          :spins wildly in a circle while flapping arms:

          Wheee! Im a hella-speeshal-copper!

          Adores: 5
  10. 2010 November 5
    Mindfield permalink

    Wow. So much to analyze here. Okay, let’s start from the top:

    phtot wrok – This is Klingon for “sandwich making.”

    1,000 for one days work ful – So he will give you a thousand of something for a day full of work — not necessarily from you, but work in some capacity, ostensibly packaged up and supplied with the necessary batteries.

    if your fit fu n rela lookign – Um, okay. So, sentence fragment involving the subject’s “fit-fu” (presumably a hybrid fitness regimen and martial art) “n” a specific gene who likes to look at a specific gaming magazine.

    The tight runner’s body is self-explanatory as he’s clearly looking for someone over the age of 30 who have chosen to try and escape the Carrousel ceremony (presumably his crystal is red too, which is why he wants someone who can keep up).

    with d cups – Given Sparky’s grammar so far I’m going to have to assume he’s referring here to the cups. I doubt it’s important enough or, for that matter, wise to ask.

    i will pay u 1,000 for 10 pictureso k thanx So he’ll offer 1,000 somethings for 10 pictureso — which is the word that collectively describes a 4-panel series of photographs with the first three zooming in on a particular subject within the photo and the last one zooming back out and being captioned with the word “TENSO.” The last bit is a “bai” away from revealing that Sparky is a cat.

    I think we’re done here.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 5
      Windrose permalink

      Run, Runner! Run!

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 5
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Mindfield – does that mean that Sparky is looking for a skeleton holding a Klingon sandwich who has a 4-panel series of photographs of de cups? I tried to put it together and I’m still confused.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 5

      Run, Logan!!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5

        Run, Folest

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          Folest?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Yes. We sell the same products our compeditors sell, but folest.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          Why would I want to buy products folest? Can’t Lest buy his own stuff?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Yes, Folest.

          I probably sould have typed, lun, Folest lun*

          *Hides flom Kerri’s Olientar lath*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          You’re lucky I can stand pork or I’d chew you out Hammy.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          I can stand it too.

          :-D

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          Can’t stand pork not can stand, stupid morning brain.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          *Snicker*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          *Milky way*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          *Locky Load*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          *Reese’s Peanut Butter D Cup*

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 5
          ActionBatch permalink

          *Calamerro*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          Mmmm, squid flavored candy

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Calamerro = squid + muscle car

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 5

          It’s 40 foot long and two lanes wide, the size of a giant squid!

          Calamerro!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          Life is like a box of choc’lates. Runny.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          And we’re back to lap chocolate.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          Folest: Eng., v., The act of molesting or being molested in the forest.
          “Once Billy recovered from being folested, he could never look
          at Smokey the Bear the same way again.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          Smedley, that is so many kinds of wrong. Doors to you!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          So then what is defolestation?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          When it’s your first time?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 6
          CapnMac permalink

          No, DeFollettsation is when you take a mediocre spy novel and turn it into a “franchise” of ever-more cartoon-like movies.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      mudslicker permalink

      That was really, really hard for you to parse that out, wasn’t it? I felt your pain.

      Adores: 2
  11. 2010 November 5
    Windrose permalink

    *gets a slice of coffee, thumbs through paper for the comics, looks around the Snark Lounge to see what needs cleaning first, glances out the window*

    EEEK! Who are all you people? Why are you standing out there, lurking? There must be hundreds of you, not saying anything, just staring at us! For the love of Dog, SAY SOMETHING!

    I better make more coffee.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 5
      TypoMagic permalink

      *Hands over a few packages of unflavoured gelatin*

      Make mine extra crunchy, I need some inspiration to make it to today’s Nano goal.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        *Hands over a few packages of unflavoured gelatin*

        Lack of inspiration apparently makes Taco Typo Typaco write with a British Recieved pronunciation.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          “British Recieved pronunciation.”

          I guess the British don’t have that pesky “I before E” thing, then.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          SJ, are you coming to the Typo Awards ceremony too?! It’s great, they have free food and bevaredges in the lobbly!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Dangit. That one always gets me, ’cause of the c.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Windy — I’ll clean up the line for you. Could I get some tea? I think Bombdude, nice guy that he is, shared his cold with me.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        TypoMagic permalink

        You probably caught a computer virus from him. Apply hot soup to your keyboard and take a nap on one of your heater vents.

        Also, I think I’m going to start a tech support company with my cat. What do you think? Good idea?

        Adores: 11
        • 2010 November 5
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Taco — good idea. I hear honey is used a lot to help out with viruses (that could be what’s wrong with my printer – could ya’ll take a look at it.).

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 5
          TypoMagic permalink

          Patches says to pour the honey into the parallel port of your printer and reseat the cable. If the cough doesn’t go away you can also have the printer gargle some saltwater with a few drops of blue ink toner in it.

          Also, you’ll be invoiced for the diagnosis. Will you be playing with Visa, fresh mackerel, vintage Crisco, or firm obos?

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 5
        Windrose permalink

        We always keep tea in the flask. Just ask Lola. I assume absolutely no blame for the various colds and viruses going around the Snark community.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          I’m absolutely surrounded…no literally surrounded…by sick people..here, home, grandkids…I’ll be shocked if I don’t get it…and if I do, I’ll be down for the count.

          Asthma+NastyUpperRespiratory=Bronchitis. Every.Single.Time.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Taco — I have some left over soft and/or moldy obo’s or I have left over salmon. Which do you want?

          Windy, thanks for the tea. I know it was Bobmdude. He was sneezing all over RTP the other day. I tried to spray the whole area with Lysol. I guess it didn’t work.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          You have to spray the whole Bombdude with Lysol.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Also, I don’t think I’ll be playing with the mackerel. You need some Visa to do that around here. Especially if you want to get all Crisco with some firm obo’s.

          TMI?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Bombdude permalink

          You have to spray the whole Bombdude with Lysol.

          Why Smedley, you say the most provocative things!!!

          *waggles eyebrows*

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 5
        Bombdude permalink

        I think Bombdude, nice guy that he is, shared his cold with me.

        Sorry to hear about that Artsy… I like to share and all, but I didn’t mean to be *that* friendly…

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5
      ActionBatch permalink

      Scruffy just wrok here. Scruffy don’t bother nobody. *pushes broom aimlessly around the snark lounge, muttering about fit-fu and de cups*

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        …and obos.

        Adores: 5
  12. 2010 November 5

    This is how I picture the snark lounge, especially today!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuNzcbCrNHg

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCu03sfO2-c&feature=related

    One of my all time favorite movies.

    Adores: 0
  13. 2010 November 5
    Tankerbell permalink

    phtot wrok

    I hope the Sparkmeister doesn’t mean that propane bbq thing we saw a few weeks ago. Because these implants are going to make a real mess when heated.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 5
      mudslicker permalink

      I think that was a Fraggle Wrok….for cooking muppet pot stickers. Or dim sum thing else.

      Adores: 1
  14. 2010 November 5
    mudslicker permalink

    [matt] I’ll be glad when November is over so that all you NaNoRhiNo people can get your arses back in here. Geez…how long can it take to get to 50K words banged out? [/matt]

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5
      Camille permalink

      I signed up but haven’t actually started. Maybe next year.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        mudslicker permalink

        I’d wait until the last two days of the month and then type feverishly for 48 hours. I work well under pressure. I’m also great at procrastination. So far those two traits have worked well off each other.

        In addition, latent OCD tendencies always seem to kick in at those times. Whenever I had to write a paper, suddenly washing and waxing the kitchen floor seemed so much more important and unavoidable.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      By my calculations, I should be “finished” by the 20th. I’ll be back in full snark mode then.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        mudslicker permalink

        I’m hoping you’re NOT basing your time line on CatMath.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          No, I used that fancy real math; with a minimum of 2500 words a day I’ll reach the “finished” amount of 50000 on or around the 20th. My personal goal is 75000, which I should be able to just squeak in on the 30th, if I don’t slack off.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5

        Yeah, writing this book I’ve come to appreciate how short a 50,000 word book actually is. I’m gonna need way more than that to finish this 800 pound gorrila.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          I don’t envy you. I only have to get to 20000 before I can get the manuscript looked at, and I’m several thousand short. *sigh*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          HellHathNoFury calls it NaNoWriMoEmoNemo. 8)

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5

      Hey now! I’m *Switches tabs and types furiously for a few minutes* still here. You can’t possibly have noticed any *switches tabs again to Google a word for spelling, then finds a synonym that better matches his needs anyway* difference in the amount of my posting.

      I mean *furiously types then erases because it was a stupid idea, rephrases, types it again, likes it better* really, how *stares at the cursor blinking on the screen hoping to find some kind of inspiration* rude.

      *Updates his word count*

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 5
        mudslicker permalink

        I was wondering why my computer monitor kept flickering. I should have known that TypoMagic had something to do with it.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          Imagine the impact that reading 50,000 of my typo riddled words would be on the average human psyche. I’m surprised that all your monitor is doing is flickering.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Well, my leg was tingling too.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5

          Oh heavens. Taco…you have an editor, right?

          Adores: 3
  15. 2010 November 5
    Tankerbell permalink

    How the foxtrot did Sparky even make this many typos? My effing blackberry tries to change every word I write, so even when I want to make one, it wants to substitute real (albeit nonsensical) words. Sparky had to be really trying.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5

      I think it was more a Merengue then a Foxtrot…

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        it takes two to Tango!

        Wango, Tango, don’t cha wanna? Wango, Tango, don’t cha wanna?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          ActionBatch permalink

          *sits in corner*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Corner probably better, there not being a good tequila to add to hot tea; and I know it’s too chilly today for margaritas.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You could microwave the margarita and make yourself a hot moddy.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Or you could just make a margarita cake* and add some additional tequila to make up for the volume that bakes out.
          *I recently got to sample this, it’s really good.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      Sparky – “I’m constantly trying to fail but I keep suceeding instead! What am doing wrong so I can get it right and start being wrong?”

      Sparky’s Fit-Fu Master – :while playing a game on his iPhone: “Uhhh…Here, put these Pop Rocks in this lighter fluid and drink it.”

      Sparky – “Will this help me suceed in failure?”

      Sparky’s Fit-Fu Master – :shrugs: I dunno, but it probably won’t kill you. Now go away, I’m about to beat my high score in Ninja Rope.”

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        “Now you’re playing with Simon!”

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        MandaB permalink

        Ninja Ropes, FTW! I think I luvvv you, SJ!

        Adores: 2
  16. 2010 November 5
    Innana permalink

    if U cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb w hi pa!

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5

      *Waves*

      Hi Ma!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 5
        ActionBatch permalink

        goodnite ma
        goodnite pa
        goodnite john-boy

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        Innana permalink

        No good job for you!!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          ActionBatch permalink

          what about soup?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      kelli permalink

      I can read it, where’s my high paying job?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        Windrose permalink

        I think that was posted a while back, it involved cleaning a kitchen and pitching in for pizza.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      Addicted Reader permalink

      That hurt.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5

      That looks just like the (work related) emails my former boss would send out, except “hi pa” would be replaced with “ur gtng a py ct.”

      Adores: 1
  17. 2010 November 5
    Meej permalink

    Seems pretty clear to me – despite a very few typos, this is a legitimate scientific study into the effects of high body temperature on the acidity of baby poo, with appropriate photographic documentation.

    Dr. McSparky wants a warm baby for pH tot work. He pays 1,000 for one day’s full workload (ie, diapers). Make sure they fit, keep them tight to the body, empty them into the provided cups, and take 10 photos.

    Looks like a fine application of the scientific method…

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 5

      These are not the tot clothes I was looking for, check.

      *wanders off*

      Adores: 4
  18. 2010 November 5
    MandaB permalink

    *looks around snark lounge*

    *looks around real house*

    Yep, about equally disastrous at the moment. Who let the baby have the Halloween candy? Why is the cat zipped into this book bag? And who told Hammy he could start dressing up like a ballerina again? We have rules for a reason! For the love of Clothespin Jeebus, don’t rub the ballerina’s tummy!!!

    Sparky, quit eyeing the busty runners, put down the camera and help pick up! Sheesh!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 5

      These are not the TuTu’s I was looking for, check.

      *Wanders off*

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 5

        Help! I think I broke Hammy! Somebody get the mind enema!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5

          These are not the head holes I was looking for, check.

          *wanders off*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          My mind enema! That’s the one I’ve been looking for!!!

          *gimme gimme*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Would you like Springtime Fresh or Berries and Cream?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Do they have Moose Tracks? If not, I’ll go for a pumpkin nutmeg spice.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          :checks Snark Lounge Frezzer:

          We have some lovely minty Moose Tracks with double D peanut butter cups. And some pistachio-lime sorbet.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          I do NOT want to see what comes out after Hammy has a mind enema.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5

          Waddya think you read here every day?

          Adores: 2
  19. 2010 November 5

    *wipes tears from eyes*

    Please, please, please, oh most beneficient webmasters (bees be upon you both)…do NOT ever, ever, ever re-activate the edit function again.

    Ever.

    Ever.Ever.Ever.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      It’s so much better, isn’t it?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Nooooo. I like the edit function. Many crumbs of added snark are missed because once it’s there, it’s there. I know I’m much more entertained because the edit function works. Typos lose their charm after awhile.

        I’m just sayin’….

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          SJ…it is..

          Mudsy….ahh…that’s because I’m one of those people who NEVER gets tired of blooper shows and the like.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Maybe just have a No-Edit Day once a week.

          Hmmm…That sounds familiar for some reason.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          Noooo… I NEED the edit. I step all over my tongue the first time out!

          Btw, sorry I’m late to the lounge. Was getting good/bad news over breakfast.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5
          Windrose permalink

          Uh, that doesn’t sound wonderful.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          L-squared…then I’m happy and sad for you…

          Everyone trips over their fingers as they type…it’s what we do here with it in the Snark Lounge…see above for “folest” as an example…

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 5

          Actually I typed “Folest” on purpose to mimic an “Oriental” accent*, a typo woulda been Fotest, or maybe Foeest.

          *Runs from Kelli

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5
          kelli permalink

          Ham soon to be dented Can, you march straight to Windsy’s room and you better not mess up her carpet, young pup!

          Adores: 3
  20. 2010 November 5

    And now a word…for our wiki-word…

    Brought to you by the letter “S”, and directly from my baby girl’s extensively twisted vocabulary.

    “schwackeldelight” – to be delighted to the point of schwackel

    That is all.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 5

      Is Schwackel like “Schwing!”?

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5
      Tankerbell permalink

      That is delightful! I’m going to use that.

      Adores: 1
  21. 2010 November 5

    These are not the interviews* I was lookoing for, check.

    *Wanders off*

    *Actually it went fine, was brutal though I wish they would just ask techno questions instead of retarded emo ones…

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 5
      kelli permalink

      Quit making fun of the retarded emos! Isn’t bad enough that they are mentally incapacitated and overly emotional? You’re so mean

      Seriously, I hope the interview went well and all interviews have stupid questions, it’s in the hiring managers’ rulebook.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 5
        kelli permalink

        and I dropped my matt tags because I used “” *excuse me while I go finish my allergy attack*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Oh crap, so that’s what I tripped over. Sorry Kelli, I think I smooshed this one: \~at£/

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 5
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      Hammy – you use us for a reference check. We’ll all tell them how emotionally stable you are.

      talks to self …. no don’t mention that ….. no, no we don’t talk about that anymore ….. no that was inappropriate …. language, language ….. give me a minute, I’ll think of some good things to say.

      Adores: 4
  22. 2010 November 5
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Well, the snark is in fine form today. Ending the week on a high note. Have a good weekend, all.

    Adores: 4
  23. 2010 November 5

    This is how I picture the snark lounge, especially today!*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuNzcbCrNHg

    One of my all time favorite movies.

    *This post has been waiting moderation all day so I removed one of the massive links…

    Adores: 1
  24. 2010 November 5

    Oy. I miss you guys! I’m tired of retail! Anyone need a lawyer?*

    *Actually, I still can’t help even if you do. I have to be sworn in first, which is at the end of the month.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 5

      PS, I didn’t even read the post before leaving this comment, let alone the rest of the comments. I got here, looked at the time, and felt sad about everything I’ve been missing, so I had to share. Snarking will commence in five…four…three…two…

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5

        I know the feeling. I only got up to the bra thread before most everyone did the five o’clock checkout.
        I’m going to be up for a while so I might as well help Windy with the clean up.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 6
        CapnMac permalink

        Dearheart, I’d be more than happy to swear you, but, you’d be ensign, not esquire. (You’d not work in retail for at least five years, though.)

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 5
      Tankerbell permalink

      AAWWW, Bridgete, I know how you feel. I have to use my evil effing blackberry instead of my work computer which means I can’t nest comments, so I can’t participate in threads really. I feel kinda left out. We can sit in the corner together sobbing.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 5
        Lola permalink

        *passes flask to Bridgete and Tankerbell*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 5

          Oh good, the sad corner needed a flask. :)

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 5

        Tank, are you able to switch over to the full site? I disabled stylesheets so I can see how the threads are running and my comments nest just fine.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          Ooh, how do you disable stylesheets? I use the full site, but I didn’t know about stylesheet disabling. Yippee! Full snark capacity!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5

          I’m not familiar with Blackberry’s browser, but on Treos it’s under options. I can disable java (which I do because it doesn’t work anyway), stylesheets, images and cookies.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 5
          Tankerbell permalink

          OK, I’ll check that out. Thanks, christina!

          Adores: 1
  25. 2010 November 5
    Tankerbell permalink

    Hammy, did you see me wave at you as I drove by today?

    Adores: 1
  26. 2010 November 6
    Windrose permalink

    Camille, here’s a Bacontini and a Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Hot Babes in Phtot Land

    Adores: 1
  27. 2010 November 6
    Lesa permalink

    Anyone else notice the fact that he wants no fat, but d cups? Boobs are mounds of fat.

    Adores: 0

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