YSaC, Vol. 847 – I’m on a – wait, what the hell IS this?

2010 November 11

From regular sarajean come two posts from the same metropolitan area, but different neighborhoods, five months apart. Same person or different? You decide.

Free Boat no motor


I have a boat in my yard that I need gone and small holes in it from target practicing but can be used for whatever you like there is no motor or anything with it.. If you want it please let me know thanks

>>>>FREE BOAT <<<<

~boat is free, it’s not a joke, the glass is broke
~it’s got no seats or motor either, great project, a child pleaser.

~Bring your trailer and a winch…..take it away! I wont even flinch.

Yep, nothing makes me want a decrepit, bullet-ridden shell of a boat like bad rhyme.

258 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 November 11

    Cool! A free Submarine…

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      Sammiches?

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 11

        Yes, with Swiss cheese!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          christina permalink

          Peppered even.

          Adores: 6
  2. 2010 November 11
    Smedley permalink

    “Shot it full of holes;
    like it was eaten by moles,
    It won’t go, cause it’s got no mo’
    Now it’s beached like a leech…”

    Unfortunately, I could go on.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 November 11

      Dr. Suess sells his boat
      It will not float
      Not with a goat
      Not in a moat

      Adores: 14
  3. 2010 November 11
    NotMyName permalink

    He shot at his old, crappy boat, and now thinks someone would be willing to buy it from him? No one would be stupid enough to-

    “Hey look Billy! An awesome boat! Let’s git it!”

    “But Bo, we can’t swim, and it don’t got no injin.”

    “Well, if it ain’t got no injin, then it can’t go inter the wata. That means, we wuldnta need ta swim.”

    “Wow, you always were the smarterer one, Billy.”

    Adores: 11
  4. 2010 November 11
    LimeLolly permalink

    Motor boat, motor boat go so slow
    Motor boat, motor boat go so medium
    Motor boat, motor boat go so fast
    Ya gotta step on the gas

    *engine sounds*
    bbbbbbrrrrrrrrr bbbbbbrrrrrrr bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 11
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Isn’t that the sound the other kind of motorboating makes, too?

      (I’ve seriously had some kind of “motorboating” joke fomenting in my head all day. That was somewhat inadequate, but I’ll take it.)

      Adores: 1
  5. 2010 November 11
    Smedley permalink

    “Shot through the hull,
    and you’re to blame,
    you give boats a bad name”.

    Not apologizing for this one.

    Adores: 22
    • 2010 November 11
      Stephanae permalink

      Nor should you! Bravo!

      Damn, those Bon Jovi earworms never go away, though.

      Adores: 5
  6. 2010 November 11
    christina permalink

    Child pleaser? Because everyone knows how much children love tetanus and staph. I mean, anything for a sick day right?

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 November 11
      Smedley permalink

      It’s Munchausen-by-proxy:
      “Sorry boss, can’t come to work, my kid’s got Ebola.”

      Adores: 12
  7. 2010 November 11
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Doors for everyone! Great start to the morning, snarkers.

    Isn’t a boat with holes just called … junk?

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 11
      Smedley permalink

      Where I come from it’s called an anchor.

      Adores: 14
      • 2010 November 11

        Or an artificial habitat…

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 11
          christina permalink

          I call it a fine representation of man’s inhumanity towards … um … boats?

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 11
          Lou Stool permalink

          Isn’t that a reef? I guess Sparky isn’t selling them anymore and has decided to give it away.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11

          You need one big arse door to hang that reef on…

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 11
      Meej permalink

      Intentional boat pun, AR? If so, nicely done!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        mudslicker permalink

        I think “junk” is racist* now.

        *this is shit stirring Thursday, isn’t it?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Well, as James Bond insists, better stirred, not shaken.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          With all due bees to Mr. Bond, I don’t see the sure superiority of stirred shit over shaken shit.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Shaking shit is messier. If you stir carefully, it’s easy to keep it in the container.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Your logic is legitimate if you lack a lid.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Even with a lid – if you shake it, it gets on the lid, then you have to clean it off. Harder to lick the lid than to lick the spoon. : P

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Oh, licking. Oh, no. You win. And I’m out of alliteration.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11

          New from Mickey D’s The McFeces*

          *Same old flavor different name.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11

          …Aaaaand there goes my appetite for dinner.

          (Late night infomercial, after reruns of YSaC: Snark Attack:

          But wait, there’s more! With this patented weight-loss program, you’ll never be hungry again! It combines the best of anorexia nervosa and anorexia bulemia, without all those pesky body image issues!*

          *This may not actually be true. Consult a doctor before starting this, or any, weight loss regimen. Do not taunt the happy fun weight loss regimen. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. Consult a lawyer before listening to this ad.)

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Addicted Reader permalink

        I wish I could take credit for something that clever, but no. I was going for something like anchor, and just couldn’t quite make the right connections in my brain.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          AR – Never – I repeat – never admit something like this. Instead, reply, “Oh, Meej, you were the only one sharp enough to catch my pun – I’m so glad you did!”

          *This is how I maintain my mystique of brilliance with the first graders.*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Your first graders may buy it, but I’m giving the regulars here more credit. I didn’t think anyone would believe me anyway, so decided to go with honesty.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          It’s not integrity as much as dignity. If I think I can get away with the lie, then sure I’ll go with it. But if I think I’ll just look silly trying to pull of a lie everyone know is just a lie, I save a little dignity by not even trying. Or at least, that’s how I see it…

          Edit: Hey, edit’s back! Also, this is above the comment to which it is responding because Grampdaddy replied to the wrong comment. And that’s the truth. ; )

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11

          I think for all the times many of us have probably made intentional puns that no one caught, we should get credit for the unintentional ones that someone DID catch. 😉

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Sure, sure – AR. Honesty. Really? You know what they say – honesty is the last refuge of those with integrity!

        *Wanders away mumbling something about “people with principles”…*

        Adores: 3
  8. 2010 November 11

    Oohh…this will be a perfect sandbox for my yard!

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 11
      sarajean80 permalink

      With bonus broken glass! Kids just love shiny things, right?

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 11

        Remember that SNL skit with Danny Akroyd as the CEO of the toy company that sold the Bag-O-Glass for kids?

        Yeah, me neither…bet it was funny, though.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          christina permalink

          I bet it was at least as funny. as that ‘im on a boat ‘ skit that I nwver saw.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Yep…but not nearly as hilarious as the “let’s get small” skit starring Steve Martin that I totally missed.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          Eric Idle on SNL in a British Navy skit where he and Belushi, I believe, were saying flogging and getting it closer and closer to fucking, and then looking at the audience to see if they got it and what they were getting past the sensors. Oh, wait, I did see that one. Never mind.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Well, I didn’t Windy so that’s okay….

          How about the “Samurai ________” with Jim Belushi?

          Yeah, fell asleep half hour afore that one.

          Bet it was a real corker.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          christina permalink

          Ahem. Yeah I’m still learning the virtual keyboard, as evidenced above.

          Adores: 3
  9. 2010 November 11
    Meej permalink

    I do not want your shot-up boat;
    I do not want it, it won’t float.

    “Would you like it without seats?
    Would you like it without glass?”

    I do not want it without seats,
    I do not want it without glass,
    I do not want it, Spark-I-Am.

    “You can take it with a winch!
    You can take it, I won’t flinch!”

    I will not take it with a winch.
    I would not wish it on the Grinch.
    I do not want it without glass.
    Your postings are devoid of class.
    I do not want your shot-up boat.
    I do not want it, it won’t float.
    I do not like it, Spark-I-Am!

    Adores: 32
  10. 2010 November 11
    Mindfield permalink

    If I leave here tomorrow
    Will your hold that boat for me?
    For my old one has a crushed bow
    And she won’t make it out to sea
    But if I stayed here with my old gal
    Things just wouldn’t be the same
    I’d regret passing up a free boat
    ‘Cos this new boat would make a change
    Lord knows, it would make a change

    My, my, it’s such a sweet boat
    I doubt my opinion will change
    She needs some patching up badly
    But lord knows that I am game
    But if I stayed here with my old gal
    Things just wouldn’t be the same
    I’d regret passing up a free boat
    ‘Cos this new boat would make a change
    ‘Cos this new boat would make a change
    Lord knows that I am game
    Could you break big bills for change?

    Freeboat by Lynyrd Skyffyrd

    Adores: 20
  11. 2010 November 11
    Smedley permalink

    Nicely done.

    Adores: 4
  12. 2010 November 11
    Stephanae permalink

    Same person or different?

    Different person. Same boat.

    Or does that go different day, same old shit?

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 11
      LimeLolly permalink

      It’s S.H.I.T today. Just ask Windrose. 8)

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 11
        Tankerbell permalink

        S.H.I.T. to you all!

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 11
        mudslicker permalink

        I used to be a member of S.H.I.T. The Society of Honorable Indiana Troglodytes. No shit.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 11
          LimeLolly permalink

          There’s too many S.H.I.T’s in this world.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        Stephanae permalink

        I don’t know the S.H.I.T. reference. Wiiiiindy? LL said to ask you!

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          LimeLolly permalink

          Go to November 3, 2010 post. (YSaC, Vol. 839: What an unusual view!)

          Windrose listed out the days of the work week. Sure Happy It’s Thursday (S.H.I.T), which is pretty indicative of my day today.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          Steph, what LL said. 8) Back in the day when we had 4/10 schedules in the county, one worker who had Fridays off came up with that little jewel.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          (Wait, it’s Thursday?? I think I’m having an Artsy week, too… So far my week has gone Monday, Friday, Thursday, Wednesday…. Don’t ask :-p)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          NotMyName permalink

          *Asks*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          Well, my S.H.I.T. just got better. FedEx just dropped in. The guy assigned to this route is F-I-N-E looking; so much so that I always refer to him as FedSexy.

          I’m going to be taken down by Sexual Harassment Panda for sure.

          But for now, the afternoon is shaping up!

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 11

          I would like to ask, too, but I don’t think I’ll get an answer from my weirdo subconscious. In other news, maybe we can blame this on a big govmint conspiracy, because of the switched Daylight Savings time!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          I’m going to blame it on the Republicans. They’re trying to be “fiscally responsible” by reducing the number of days in the week.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          What are you talking about? I know what day of the week it is … hmmmm Friday. I know some brilliant person said that we were having 5 day weekends and 2 day work weeks from now on.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11

          Hmmm, this would not be the right crowd to zing back about Democrats, huh? :-p (For the record, I used to identify Republican, but now I identify conservative and PartiesSuck)

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Monday;
          Monday²;
          Monday/2 + n(e) – 1.289E5 joules;
          Monday * f(x)->n(e)^e – 12.875E3 joules + catulator stalk house three times, make disgusted noises, then sit on the recliner with one’s head jammed into the cushion. oh, and -$1157.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          I know some brilliant person said that we were having 5 day weekends and 2 day work weeks from now on.

          Woohoo!! I’m Brilliant!* She said so!**

          *Yesterday I was a dumbass

          **neener neener

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh yeah, someone said it. Unfortunately, it was George Jetson.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          @Cappy:

          Okay. Just so that we’ve got our terminology straight….by definition, what is the difference between a:

          boat
          ship
          vessel
          dinghy (not to be confused with some of our illustrious patrons of the Snark Lounge)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11

          I identify with EB’s party non-identification…and add a hearty “hell, yeah”…

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          EB, all tasteful, funny zings are allowed. I usually very nearly always vote Dem, but I’m well aware that there’s what to make fun of.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          I identify PartiesSuck with you, EB. Although, I suppose I still identify liberal. But I’m not a socialist. And I want the business government should be minding to be much, much smaller. And I don’t like the Democrats’ tendencies to limit freedoms because they want to “take care” of everyone. And I don’t like the Republicans’ tendencies to limit freedoms because they don’t like anyone who isn’t like them.

          Oh shit, where did I put my matt tags?

          Oh shit, there’s more shit. (Yes, I’m the one who is averse to scatological topics, although I think I brought shit up first today, so I’m going to have to blame myself.)

          I should give up here and go talk about my avvie with Hammy and Bombdude. I’m not averse to that, but I’m trying to leash in my vanity.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          but I’m trying to leash in my vanity

          Oh no! Let it off the leash. Hammy too!

          I identify PartiesSuck too. I agree with some lines of thinking that align with both Democrat and Republican/conservative, and disagree with others, so hate to throw my hat in totally to either extreme.

          When asked, I usually claim Antidisestablishmentarianist. Usually stops further political questions at a party… Of course, after 2 or 3 drinks, I can’t always say it without stumbling or slurring.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Let Hammy off the leash? You mean, he’s on a leash now? You’re scaring me, Bomb! 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          boat; ship; vessel; dinghy

          Simplest method: A Ship is any vessel which can carry boats.

          “Vessel” tends to be any seaworthy craft, and can include non-self-propelled itmes like barges, floating drilling and exploitation rigs and the like.

          “Dinghy” was a small, one or two person fishing boat carried by a larger fishing ship. They were often sharply-pointed double-enders (meaning very symmetrically shaped) which were handy for oar power while fishing near-along on the ocean.
          There is an associated size of boat, the pram or punt, a dinghy in being sized for 1-2 people that is used in the pleasure boating community for getting from one’s larger, anchored, vessel to shore (or dock, pier or quay side, whathave you). Term-of-art in the yacht/cruising world if “dink” no matter if rigidly built or inflatable.

          “Ship” in the days of sail, meant a three-masted vessel with square-rigged sails on all three (or more) of those masts. A Ship-rigged vessel could be 75-100′ long, or even 2-300′ long.

          Oops, “Dock” is a wooden or stone mooring area directly abutting a shoreline. (A drydock is a graving area which can be either flooded or de-watered.)
          “Pier” is a structure of pilings which extends out to deeper water. most piers are “pennisular,” but can also be separated from shore entire.
          “Quay” is a stone-built structure, usually for mooring vessels for lading. It is realted to “quoin” and breakwater, in that the stone construction is similar–but the latter two are for creating, or improving, “protected” moorings.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          christina permalink

          Call me a liberal commie in the “two party politics sucks ” camp. I’m a big girl, EB, I can take it. :p

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Moira permalink

          I had not previously heard of PartiesSuck but I am happy to sign on.

          [matt-ish]Both R & D appear to be equally stupid about budgeting so I don’t like either of them, there. About taxing, it’s six of one, half dozen of the other and I can see both sides of that argument. My big differentiator and the reason I tend to vote Dem is because they are more socially liberal and non-authoritarian. They seem to have a better grasp of the separation of Church and State and they are generally a little better at adhering to other Amendments I cherish and feel are at the heart of our country like the 14th.

          Naturally, YMMV and I am quite pleased that it does because a single point of view will never find the best solutions to any problem. It takes many minds working together.

          Now, if they’d work together, we might actually GET somewhere.[/matt-ish]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Shhh…truth be known I’m really a Federalist. A freakin’ conservative Federalist, but a Federalist nonetheless. Gets met with a LOT of blank stares.

          “Let them eat cake!!” That’s my motto.

          “One if by land and two if by sea!” That’s my creed.

          “Pass the salt” That’s my margarita!

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Hmmm, this would not be the right crowd to zing back about Democrats, huh?

          EB, you can zing back about anybody you like here, well, except for the Llamanun and Ostrimu, bees be upon them x2. Republicrats, Demlicans, Tea-Baggers, Coffee-snorters – they all deserve anything you’d care to pack up in a Hefty Bag and throw their way.

          *Oops, it’s like the sign on the mirror, “Commenter may be crabbier than he appears”.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Now, if they’d work together, we might actually GET somewhere.

          Amen, sistah!

          At this point, I’m almost beyond caring what Congress does, as long as it does SOMETHING other than stick its head up its arse.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Meej permalink

          I love that NY’s recent round of elections featured candidates, including for Governor, from the “Rent is 2 Damn High Party.” Yes, the “2” was the actual spelling, apparently.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11

          I vote Dem for reasons similar to Moira’s. I’d debate more but I’m not up to it; I think I have the flu or something. I’m all feverish. Time to have some tea and then curl up in bed.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Feel better, B!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11

          I like cheese

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          SilvaNoir permalink

          I’d like the Tea Party more if it involved less politics and more actual tea. *joins Bridgete in sipping some*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 12
          Moira permalink

          I like cheese, too. I’ll vote for cheese!

          Adores: 2
  13. 2010 November 11

    Dan, plug your ears!


    O Holey boat!
    The glass is slightly fractured;
    I used the boat to check my deer rifle’s sights.

    Long lay the hull in weeds with mildew growing.
    Till it appeared to lose all it’s worth.
    A piece of crap, I’ll post it out on Craigslist,
    For there’s a sucker born every glorious morn.

    Bring on your trailer! Oh, bring a winch also!
    O boat is free, the boat has no motor;
    O boat, O holey boat , O boat is free!
    O boat, O holey boat , O boat is free!

    Adores: 19
    • 2010 November 11
      LimeLolly permalink

      I feel the urge to go Christmas shopping now. I hate shopping.

      Darn you, Hammy.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        I feel the urge to put together a YSaC Holiday song book, and go caroling in my neighborhood. Anyone want to join me?

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 11
          LimeLolly permalink

          Will there be hot chocolate afterwards?

          If so, I’m in.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Tankerbell permalink

          I’m in! Can we sing this one?

          Out in the back yard, shot-up boat!
          There’s no way that hulk will float.
          Sparky’s been shootin’ up the joint,
          Now the neighbors laugh and point.

          Ho-ho-ho
          Who wouldn’t know
          Ho-ho-ho
          Who wouldn’t go
          out to the back yard, pew-pew-pew,
          Posted on Craigslist – a boat for you.

          Adores: 16
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          I think Sparky just flinched. He lied.

          😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Sure Windy, I’ll help. Could we start a little earlier in the day ….you know the time difference and all.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 11

        I hate shopping, too. I mean any kind of shopping. When online shopping became so easy I think I wept for joy.

        Last year my washer and dryer quit…I bought a new set online in my jammies and they were delivered and installed less than 12 hrs. later.

        I love teh interwebbies…almost as much as I hate shopping.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 12

          I’m witcha, CJ. I love online shopping. Way more variety than local stores. (Everybody has the same things; is there only one person doing the supply ordering for every store in town?!) And it comes right to my door. Ahhhh.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 11
      mudslicker permalink

      I think I just heard the baby Jesus groan.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 11

        No, I just have a little gas this morning.
        Sorry!

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          Thanks for clarifying that. I thought it was the cattle lowing.

          Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 11
      Tankerbell permalink

      Oh, Hammy – I present you my second Spleen! O Holey Boat, indeed. The snark is strong with this one.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11

        Looks like I have some Spleenin’ to do…

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 11
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Tank — how many do you have or are your cloning them just for YSac?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Oh, didn’t you know that spleens grow back. Usually within a day, 2 tops. That’s why they’re such a good choice to give out to show appreciation.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Moira permalink

          Indeed – House even had an episode on that.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          [surgical corey] For those with skills at enastamosis, there are few recesctions as much work as a splenectomy. Even in a “gross” removal of the spleen, the number of branches on the splenic artery are under-predictable, and seldom match the number of splenic veins.

          In a “fine” splenectomy, one has to match the great raft of arteries to veins, after determining which portions of the spleen to excise.

          The spleen is a structure which contains a great mass of circulatory vessels. There does not seem to be any secretion or chemical associated with the spleen, but it is widely considered to be where the balance of blood chemistry is measured, and by some process, the various hormones and cells of the body introduced to the circulation system. Since the arteries and veins branch down to near capilary size, it’s an organ suseptable to gross injury, and with risk of exsanguination after that injury.

          Yet, the mass of the spleen is removavble, to no great life-style change in the patient (other than whatever emotional effects are garnered by the incident that caused the gross insult).

          Side note: The liver, if with enough healthy mass, can regenerate. Which is a boon, as non-morbid transplants are far easier to match up.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Tankerbell permalink

          Cap’n, why do you know that?!?!?
          But, you know, my awarding of spleens is just from the stock I keep in my basement. I never said they were actually my spleen.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Capn did my spleenin’ for me…Thanks!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Jd, Uncle taught me these things–part of emergent medicine at the remove of 24 hours from critical care sort of knowledge.

          Technology for enastamosis has also improved to the point where emergent vascular procedures are possible in the far, far away, and the risks are considerably lower than with ischemic limb or extremity loss.

          But, when sitting in the class on vascular enastamosis, the instructors often cannot help but wax on about hugely serious conditions, like splenic rupture, and correction of that sort of insult. Which is a fine and dandy topic to take up in a nice clean classroom with smart, dry erase, and chalkboards. Contemplating how one might acomplish such in a muddy ditch 24 hours’ from anywhere, is quite another thing.

          Detritus of a lifetime of near-useless information and skills. Like, how to brace yourself in a small pitching and yawing boat to best average “the horizon” while taking a star sight with a sextant. Or that the preferred treatment for tricyclic overdose is sodium-bicarb. Or that residential sprinkler heads generally are rated for 127 gpm. Or that you can get R19 in a 2×4 wall by adding 1″ of closed-cell foam to the 3.5″ of between-framing insulation.

          Oh, and I know about livers as a friend did the fraternal liver donation for their brother; and the donor’s liver is now regnerated enough that the accomplishment may be celebrated with wine.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 11
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Oh little hull of fiber-glass,
      They all just pass you by.
      Too bad you’re full of bullet holes,
      and your glass has glass has gone bye-bye.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        The glass only went bye-bye once, in spite of what it said….

        Adores: 3
  14. 2010 November 11
    Mindfield permalink

    Today only: YSaC: The Muisical! Tickets available at Ticketbastard or call 1-800-LOL-YSAC!

    Adores: 9
  15. 2010 November 11
    mudslicker permalink

    Target practice? Did the conversation go something like this:

    Keith Stone: Hey J.D., Show me what you got. I bet you can’t hit the broad side of a barge.

    J.D.: Well boy, pass me a Keystone Light and then I’ll show you what kind of man I’m made of. I can take on that non-moving, perfectly still, big as my trailer Chris-Craft over yonder and with this .22 I gots here, I’ll put small holes all over it.

    Keith Stone: J.D.,you’re always smooth! Just try not to hit the missus over by the clothesline.

    Yeah, it’s good to be a man with less than adequate eyesight and an equally adequate intelligence!

    Adores: 6
  16. 2010 November 11
    Windrose permalink

    “Honey, you gotta git that ol’ boat outta the yard. There’s a pack of rabid squirrels nesting in there.”

    “I tried to shoot ’em, but they were too fast. And I put an ad on Craigslist. I don’t understand why someone didn’t want a FREE boat!”

    “Yew idjot, you gotta catch the eye of the buyer, with poetry. I’ll post another ad.”

    *one week later*

    “Honey, you gotta git that ol’ boat outta the yard.”

    Adores: 13
  17. 2010 November 11
    Windrose permalink

    By the way, good spotting, SJ! 8)

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 11
      sarajean80 permalink

      Honestly, I never connected the two ads since they were so far apart in time, but it could be the same object formerly known as a boat.

      Adores: 6
  18. 2010 November 11
    NotMyName permalink

    My question is this: did he shoot holes in the boat before or after the boat was taken out of the water.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 11
      NotMyName permalink

      There should be a question mark there. Whoops.

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 11
      mudslicker permalink

      That’s an easy one.

      It would have definitely have had to have been on dry land. If it was in the water, he would have been advertising a free reef because Sparky would have definitely left it where it sunk.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        NotMyName permalink

        If he had sunk it, this would be more like a Carfax* commercial.

        “FOR SALE. Old boat, no motor. Has sunk before Slight water damage.”

        *Might not actually be Carfax. All commercials blend together nowadays.

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 11

      maybe they playing a game of 1/4 scale battle ship.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        mudslicker permalink

        “You sunk my battle shit!”

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Flushed?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          I hope not!!! I was merely dropping the kids off at the pool!!!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          my battle shit

          As opposed to your utility shit or your protocol shit?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          Precisely! It also includes just your regular shit-shit.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          Aw man, now we’re deep into a scatological* subject. Was it Stephanae that has an aversion?

          And why does that word have an “ology” suffix? Do people actually study this subject?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          No. The simple answer is that they were dyslexic and thought they were spelling it “loogy”. Those silly Latin and Greek languages.

          Okay, I lied. Yes Bombdude, as sure as you’re not supposed to clip the green wire, there are a whole bunch of studies revolving around poop and petrified poop.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, Chelsea, from yesterday, per her blog, is pursuing a degree which involved studying Victorian-era sanitation.

          I know ornithilogical types who are scatalogists (and whatever one would call the science of studying regurgitate), as the study of “owl pellets” teaches us about what and how the raptors eat.

          I want to remember that persons studying middens need/desire at least one scatologist to help in those studies.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          ::sigh::

          Less than 5 minutes and I’m back to dumbass….

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Yeah, but wasn’t it a wonderful 5 minutes!!!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          Oh well, even as a dumbass I’ll enjoy the long weekends… 😉

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 11
      sarajean80 permalink

      It’s possible it was shot while on the water and then dragged onto shore, but that seems too much like work. It would fit with the (lack of) planning that Sparkies usually display though. It would probably depend on how much alcohol was involved at the time.

      “Hey, Bubba! Let’s shoot the boat!”

      “‘Kay.”

      :sounds of sporadic gunfire and belching:

      “Uh, Bubba? Why are my feet gettin’ wet?”

      “Oh, hell. The wife’s not gonna like this.”

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        mudslicker permalink

        Oh, you can be assured that Sparky wouldn’t be putting himself out by dragging a boat out of the water. It’s sort of like the same thinking that buzzes in his cranium when his baloney sammich falls on the kitchen floor.

        “I’ll just leave that there ’til later. Can’t be bothered to bend over.”
        And then later never happens.

        Adores: 5
  19. 2010 November 11
    ToBScholarly permalink

    From regular sarajean

    I had to read this 3 times before I realized he was not referring to the status of SJ’s bowels.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 11
      sarajean80 permalink

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure people aren’t that concerned with my bodily functions.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 11
      Addicted Reader permalink

      That’s as opposed to the extra-fancy sarajean who turns up when we’ve all been really good snarky.

      Adores: 5
  20. 2010 November 11
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I Suck at Quoting.

    And how lucky for me that there is no Edit function either. So my dumbassness is permanently displayed for all the world to see.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 11
      NotMyName permalink

      I Suck at Quoting

      That acronyms to…Isaq. That’s either Isaac, or something a bit more…euphemistic.

      Oh, and I don’t mean to be a showoff by blockquoting. My mind just automatically converted that to an acronym, and I had to mention it.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Stephanae permalink

        Show-off! 😉

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Show-front*

          *Pretty please

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          I know, right? I broke out my snerky photo manipulation software, thinkin’ I’d flip the picture around, but all I ended up with was Stephanae on her head…

          What?!

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 11

          I looked behind my monitor, but unless her front is made of dust bunnies I couldn’t see a darn thing.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          I can’t show-front. It’s Other’s turn in front to steal moneies, meds, and iPods.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 12
          CapnMac permalink

          And now, we get to see part of a front–a very nice front–future scholars will ever more wonder what we were on about. Just another Motel of the Mysteries artifact <sigh>

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      ToB, I fixed it! I learnt a new skillz today! That will be a small bag of canary seed, please.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        NotMyName permalink

        Uhm…where’s what ToB was quoting?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          It’s the first 3 words of dan’s post. Right under “by dan”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          NotMyName permalink

          No, I mean, for ToB to be quoting something, the words have to actually be in the comment.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          TBS was quoting dan. You asked “where” those 3 words were located.

          Hey….is this Tricky Question Thursday?

          *sneaky sneaky*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          NotMyName permalink

          Sigh…never mind.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          NMN, it’s Dan’s citation of who sent the ad, right above the first ad itself.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        NMN, ToB’s comment is up a ways. It’s all part of the tricky nesting of comments that keeps us on our toes. Scroll up and you should find it. 8)

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 11
        ToBScholarly permalink

        Thank for fixing it! So… what am I doing wrong?

        Well, in the post anyway. Not in life. That would take way too long to answer.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          NotMyName permalink

          You aren’t getting enough fiber.

          “So, I would recommend new Fiber One Plus cereal. No sticks, twigs, or bark, butplenty of fiber. Fiber One Plus, get yours, today!!!”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          You need to type <blockquote>Your quoted text</blockquote>

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11
          ToBScholarly permalink

          Thank you!
          I looked in the Forums for a Tags for Dummies section but couldn’t find it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Probably deserves a page on the YSaC Wiki

          Adores: 1
  21. 2010 November 11
    Tankerbell permalink

    To all veterans and active service personnel:
    This day is to honor you. Thank you for your service, and for our freedom to mock asshats in safety and security.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 11
      mudslicker permalink

      …even if some of them are members of the service.

      Just asking…does it seem odd/borderline wrong to wish someone Happy Veterans Day? Is there a more apropos adjective?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Tankerbell permalink

        I totally agree, Mudsy.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          I’ve heard on the radio this morning already, at least 4 times where the DJs have said “Happy Veterans Day” to a guest or their listeners in some capacity. It sounds awkward.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          A co-irker wished me Happy Holiday last night as I was leaving work. Very odd.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Probably better than “happy Memorial day”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Smedley permalink

          And I in turn would like to thank the good ol’ USA and its people for supporting me through my lean Old Milwaukee years, through my somewhat more robust Budweiser years, and finally in my golden “Two cubes of ice in that whiskey glass, Miss”, years. Without your support, many a Marines’ glass would have gone empty, and I probably would have starred in some overseas version of “Fist-Cam” alot more than I did. From the bottom of my bottle, I thank you.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 12

        a third that! i did have a stroke of brilliance driving home today… how about “thankYou, Veteran’s Day”? 🙂 Still awkward, but more appropriate…

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 12

          (Gah, that’s what I get for trying to post with the default browser on my phone… Given that it doesn’t show what I typed until after I hit submit, I don’t think I did too bad :-p)

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 11

      Amen!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPbIls0iOnI

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 11
        mudslicker permalink

        I think that’s the first time I ever saw Red Skelton be so serious. Good link, Hammy!

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        Actually, Mr. Skelton turned serious a number of times, and since it was usually unexpected, it was always touching. Good post, Hammy. I was going to share it, but since I disagree with adding “Under God” to the pledge, I decided to not. It was wonderful to hear the Pledge as originally written. 8)

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12

          Red was a personal hero of mine. Fabulous and gifted comic and artist. My mom met him once when she was working for a radio station and she said he was the kindest, warmest, most sincere celebrity she’d ever met…and she’s met a few.

          I never missed his show growing up and now have a few of the DVDs from the collection.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 11
      LimeLolly permalink

      Ditto.

      Adores: 5
  22. 2010 November 11
    Tankerbell permalink

    small holes in it from target practicing but can be used for whatever you like

    Except, you know… a boat.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 11
      Tankerbell permalink

      Who sucks at blockquotes? I do! Oh, WHERE O WHERE is that edit function?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Windrose permalink

        I am able to edit, but I don’t do block quotes. So I’ll see if I can mess it up even more!

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        NotMyName permalink

        Did you just call Windrose an edit function?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          LOL NMN, as well she should! Tanker, it worked! Send bird seed!

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Tankerbell permalink

        Thank you, WIndy!

        ***Crunchety crunch crunch***
        OK, it’s in the little mechanical tray thing. Hmmm. Is this smoke normal?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          mudslicker permalink

          Just wait for the blue screen Tanky.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          So far, everyone has had the smoke, so yeah, I think it’s normal.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          [matt]Hey wait, I thought the Snark Lounge was a no-smoking environment!!![/matt]

          *cough cough

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          Tank — just pour a little coffee over the seeds everything will be fine (Iz a xpert).

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 11
      CapnMac permalink

      Will give credit to Sparky, there’s no mention of having plugged the holes with some sketchy-for-the-application product, like, oh, Spackle™. Which I have seen in boat sale ads, before, and in boating publications, where the target audience does know better.

      Now, the second ad shows a beached boat, looking rather abandoned. If it is remote enough to be used as a semi-reactive target, I have to wonder how the motor was removed. Was it carefully unbolted and carried off? Was it in part-way rotted mounts, and subsequently torn out? Was it hacked out by vandals?

      All in all, probably better that this, ah, watercraft, is beached, if only to not be a swimming/diving hazard in the pond visible in the photos.

      Adores: 1
  23. 2010 November 11

    Squeee! Je suis awesome!

    …Ahem…. *makes mental notes to come back later for a punch, and to keep caffeinating self for more brilliance*

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 11
      Artsy Computer Geek permalink

      EB — congrad’s 2 days back and YOO’RRRRREEEEE BBBAACCCKKKK!!!! (Knew I kept those extra capital letters around for something.)

      Adores: 4

    • 2010 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      But– but that was my line! 8/ Of course, you wrote it. Sigh. Guess I can take off the make-up now.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Give yourself an honorary punch for that Windrose. Just ’cause you’re awesome.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Tankerbell permalink

          Yeah. What AR said.

          By the way, I am FB Fiends with AR and Mudsy now. I feel very speeshul.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Any fiend of theirs is a fiend of mine.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 12
          Moira permalink

          I need to go stalking more of you on FB… when I have time to GET on FB again.

          Adores: 2
  24. 2010 November 11
    kelli permalink

    *A slightly dishelved kelli wanders into the snark lounges. She looks at the current ad, calls her doctor to schedule a tetnus shot and backs carefully back out*

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 11

      *Hammy is leaning on the door jamb, tapping his foot and blocking the exit*

      “Just where so you think you are going young lady?”

      “Windrose says no one leaves without depositing a small bag of seeds.”

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        kelli permalink

        *kelli distracts the small doggy with a nice treat and runs out*

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11

          Small teat…what?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          kelli permalink

          I don’t think my teats qualify as small.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          I’m so confused, kelli. If you gave Hammy a nice teat (small or not), how did you then run out? And, ow!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          kelli permalink

          I gave Hammy a treat, then he started staring at teats.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Bombdude permalink

          Isn’t that how it always starts?

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Must be time for a little “soft-shoe”:

        “Two for teats
        and teats for two.
        One for me,
        and one for you…”

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 11
      Smedley permalink

      I’m curious about the falling off the shelf thing, myself.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 11
        Stephanae permalink

        Is that what that meant? I thought she had two slight shelves. I get the curiosity, though, either way.

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 November 11
        kelli permalink

        Smed, do you have any idea how hard it is to sit on a shelf?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          Smedley permalink

          That depends. Are you likkered up at the time?

          Yay! Edits back! Bees-o-matic!

          Adores: 2
  25. 2010 November 11
    Meej permalink

    No, Sparky, the phrase is “as easy as shooting fish in a barrel” And you’re not supposed to be in the barrel at the time.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 11
      Stephanae permalink

      But if Sparky’s not in the barrel, then whose turn is it? I don’t want it to be my turn in the barrel. I hate that!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        Addicted Reader permalink

        You don’t look much like a fish….

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Why thank you, AR! I’m not sure that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received on my appearance, but I’m relieved to hear it, nonetheless.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Addicted Reader permalink

          😀

          I’m always here for the easy ego boost.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Smedley permalink

          Steph could be a mermaid.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          Top half human, or bottom half? Either way, it’s not going to end well.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11

          Beau, seen any Family Guy recently? :-p

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, from the look of those scapulae, the upper half is not piscine–at least the dorsal aspect.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          I’m not Addie Bundren!*

          I assure you I have no ventral piscine aspects, either. And I don’t care what they say about how women smell, I have no nether piscine aspects. Flowers over fish, remember?

          I do sometimes dwell in the sea and attempt to lure sailors to a drowning death. But never on S.H.I.T.

          *100 American Lit. extra credit points to whoever gets that reference.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Annie Bundren – “As I Lay Dying” – Wm. Faulkner. Never mind my active dislike for Faulkner….

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Oops – ignore the typo – should be Addie, not Annie. The problem is that both ‘d’ and ‘n’ are on my keyboard. I’ve tried to move the ‘n’ to the back of the laptop, but it keeps turning up on the front.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Oh, Grampdaddy, now we can’t be friends. I adore Faulkner. 😉

          You only get half credit if you don’t explain the reference, though. And if you insist it’s Annie and not Addie. I didn’t offer any OBOs, though, so you’re probably not missing much.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Oh sorry, I took the deduction before you made your correction. I guess you can have 75 points, now. The ‘n’ must not like the dust bunnies behind the monitor. Oh wait, that was HamCan’s monitor.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          But…..But…. I adore your back! Are you sure we can’t be friends? I promise not to discuss Faulkner while I ogle your back…. and perhaps both of us can turn a corner and meet face to umm…..

          *Think I’ll quit now while I’m ahea…. nope, too late.*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 11
          Stephanae permalink

          Well, I don’t know . . .

          I have very specific rules for my friends. They must not

          dislike Faulkner
          like Hall & Oates
          be dumber than my microwave

          You like my back, though, and I think you’re smarter than my microwave. So maybe I can give you a slide on Faulkner. How do you feel about Hall & Oates?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11

          *Waves at Stephanae*

          Faulk you too!

          Mmmm, I like Oatmeal.

          *Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Hall & Oates are definitely good, although I do tend more toward the old Blues players like Leadbelly, et al. I’ve never met a bagpipe that I couldn’t fall in love with. Old Crow Medicine Show, Rev. Peyton’s Big Damn Band, Mellencamp, and Jimmy Buffet also fill out my musical choices. Oh yeah, jazz and classical round out the music in the CD rack/MP3 player.

        I do think I can beat the microwave in the “smarter than” department. I also cook, clean windows, do laundry, and vacuum. Plus, I create serious kick-ass photographs of individuals sans clothing.

        I can’t do Faulkner, though.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          CapnMac permalink

          <is sad>
          Got nothing for Faulkner, either.

          But, have seen H&O live. Does that count?

          I have a table for propagation of RF from a magnetron, so as to design wave-guide sections (and a damage-control manual for that, too).

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 12
          Stephanae permalink

          Oh, dear. I must have written a bad list. You must not dislike Faulkner. You must not like Hall & Oates. But okay, mostly you just have to detest Kiss on My List and Maneater, in that order of importance.

          And really, durnitall, I just like you all, anyway, and the only reason I make such rules is so I can break them.

          And I adore oatmeal. And bagpipes are nice as long as they’re not playing live in a small room. And I love kick-ass photographs of naked folks. Finally, owning that radio frequency propagation magnetron thingy must make you smarter than a microwave. The only drawback, Cappy, is that you have to pretend you’re not smarter than me—oh, did I forget to mention that rule? 😉

          Adores: 2
  26. 2010 November 11

    It was not this rhyme,
    that acquired me this boat,
    it was the large volume of time,
    I spent wading through my moat.

    Bullet holes and no motor you say?
    Perhaps a combination of the Swiss and the French!
    A trip to the store and duct tape headed my way,
    I take you up on your offer; Boat, onto my winch!

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 November 11
      CoffDrop permalink

      Excellent idea, Beau! Duck Tape can fix anything……….

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 11

        Thank you, it was my first comment here. I’ve been invited by a couple of friends and warned to avoid the Sparkies. I’ve still got to learn what they are 😛

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, the names of the CL posters are redacted (so as to prevent excess ridicule, and in a measur of moderator decorum).

          We need a name, a “handle” to ascribe to these exemplars of anti-bright, and in the way that Australians call redheads “Blue,” “Sparky” has stuck. If in the sense of not being a spark of brilliance in the great darkness of night.

          I tend to use “Sparky” if male; “Sparkie” is female; and “Sparq'” if foriegn at all. Or a hipster. Or wearing a beret. Or for effect. Or in honor of those here who parley-voo the fran-say.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Camille permalink

          It’s all very simply. The Sparkies are the people who post the sucky ads. We, the Snarkies, make fun of the Sparkies. You don’t need to avoid the Sparkies, just avoid being one!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          I keep getting the best ideas for the YSaC Convention! A trivia game, Sparkies against Snarkies! YSaC trivia for the wins!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11

          I’ve posted a few ads in my time, but none that would warrant the title of Sparky, hopefully!

          Thanks for the clarification. 😀

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 11
          CapnMac permalink

          Wait, Sparkies, Snarkies . . . So, where to the Jets come in?
          Will Rita Moreno dance? Will there be a cool score by a famous, now-dead composer?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Welcome Beau – glad you’ve joined us. There’s really only one thing you need to be aware of, and that is,

          “Don’t rub the puppy’s tummy.”

          Everything else is pretty much self-explanatory – or not….

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 12
          Moira permalink

          Whether self-explanatory or not, we still delight in making it up (or re-making it up) as we go along. Anything that gets the neurons perking is a good thing.

          Adores: 2
  27. 2010 November 11
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    small holes in it from target practicing

    I wonder what he was aiming for …. the boat, the beer cans in the boat, the tree or his soon-to-be-ex-wife who was standing on the dock?

    Adores: 5
  28. 2010 November 11

    Does Carnival Cruises find their stuff on Craigslist?
    I hear they’re looking for a replacement.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 11
      LimeLolly permalink

      A whole fleet of boats with no engines? That’s one long trip.

      I’ll have to pass, I gotta be back at work on the 22nd.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 11
        Addicted Reader permalink

        But that would be the perfect excuse!

        “Hey, Boss, I know I told you I’d only be gone for a week, but the boat hasn’t returned to port yet.”

        “Where are we? Umm…we’re close.”

        “No, I don’t know how soon I’ll be back. I’ll keep you updated.”

        “Yes, it’s been a lovely cruise, but of course I’ve missed being in the office. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 11
          Windrose permalink

          Said with deep sincerity and concern. Ahem.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, but remember that’s been six days without hot food or water, and no refridgeration.
          News story from today was that the beer was free–but it was also room temperatire, too.

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 November 11
      Tankerbell permalink

      I don’t get what those Sparkies on the Carnival cruise-with-value-added (the extra value being Spam) are complaining about. They get this cruise paid for, plus another free cruise. Since there is no danger of fire or sinking, what’s a little inconvenience? I’d be thrilled. I’d just soak up the sun and make the best of it. But that’s me. I’m a jar-half-full-of-coins-and-motor-0il kind of girl.

      Adores: 7
  29. 2010 November 11
    Grampdaddy permalink


    Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine….
    Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine…
    Michael, row the boat ashore, got no engine…
    Michael, row the boat ashore, got no eh – ehn – gine…

    Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
    Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
    Michael had to start to bail, we was sink-in’…
    Michael had to start to bail, we was si – ink – kin’…

    Michael, bail a little more, or we’re swimmin’….
    Michael, bail a little more, or we’re swimmin’….
    There’s some beer upon the shore, time for drinkin’…
    There’s some beer upon the shore, time for dri – ink – in’

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      Hallelujah! Wonder if we can build a little camp fire here in the Snark Lounge?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 11
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Probably, but there won’t be any canoeing or other boating for the happy campers. Therefore, “You Suck at Camping – exactly what it says on your tent”

        Adores: 5
  30. 2010 November 11
    christina permalink

    Gramps, I’d be a little careful about zinging coffee snorters. We tend to be a little edgy and paranoid.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 11
      christina permalink

      Now how did my comment get down here? I guess the learning curve is steeper than I thought.
      Edit, just because I can.

      Adores: 2
  31. 2010 November 11
    Grampdaddy permalink

    EDIT IS BACK!!!!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 11
      Meej permalink

      In honor of Stephanae’s new avatar, perhaps?
      (Back, that is.)

      Adores: 3
  32. 2010 November 11
    NotMyName permalink

    Is the editing function working?

    Why yes, yes it is.

    Whoops, didn’t notice Grampdaddy’s comment. Sorry about that.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 11
      Windrose permalink

      Darn it, there goes my bird seed monopoly!

      Adores: 4
  33. 2010 November 11
    Stephanae permalink

    Well, since my back caused a bit more of a fuss than I was expecting. I put up a picture of my front.

    Which one should I keep? Or should I go back to blue face?

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 11

      Now if you can just make it an animated gif…

      😀

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 11
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Bad Hammy!!!! Go back to you room, no tummy rubs for you tonight.

        Stephanae – I think you need the one with the club in your hand so you can knock some sense into Hammy, Grampdaddy & Bombdude.

        *** I edited just cause I could

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 11

          *Rolls over and wags*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 12
          Stephanae permalink

          Hey!!! Look at Hammy’s cute new puppy! Let’s talk about that avvie for a while. 😀

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          CoffDrop permalink

          Stephanae – Is this you on YouTube?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 12
          Stephanae permalink

          No, CoffDrop, my dance name is Taja. But that’s funny since she’s in SLC. I recognize some of the venues and names in her vids, but I don’t recognize that Stephanie, and she’s not bad (that’s high praise in the cutthroat belly dance community).

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 12
          CoffDrop permalink

          There seems to be an abundance of belly dancers in SLC. I never knew…..

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 12
          Moira permalink

          You say “belly dance” and I say “I love this video.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 12
          Stephanae permalink

          That rocked, Moira. Thank you! The belly dancer was perilously close to naked, though.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 12
          CoffDrop permalink

          Yes indeed, Moira – great group. “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” brings back interesting memories. Here’s The Animals, and this one by Santa Esmeralda makes me giggle…..

          Adores: 2
  34. 2010 November 12
    Windrose permalink

    Well, I have got to get to bed, in spite of my wish to stay up all night for some reason. I mean really, why go back to work tomorrow for one day, then be off for two? Oh well. Where was I?

    EB! Welcome back to the Golden Lotus! Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Dock!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 12

      OOoof! Aww, shucks, you shouldn’t have….

      …No, really. That hurt.

      :-p

      Adores: 1

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