YSaC, Vol. 852: You’re the one that I want.

2010 November 16

i am not rude just


just yeasterday my chawa ran out the door .and yes i replyed about the outher chawa on here.so u was trying to get me to go to somewhere ele and pick up another dog or chack it out.well wont have a mix or a soner u can have it.for some reson i am not able to load pics but i can shair on yahoo if u think u have a chawa that might fit the disps of him thank u. p.s i know what i want

Chawa. In what kind of accent does chawa have enough syllables to even vaguely resemble the word chihuahua?

So your chawa ran out the door yesterday, and you’re looking for a replacement on Craigslist. But it can’t be a mix or a “soner” (translation, please?). I keep reading this and hoping that she’s using Craigslist to search for her missing dog, but the p.s. sort of destroys that for me. I know what *I* want, and it’s for people like this to not have pets. Is that rude of me? Oh, good.

Thanks, Shaunna!

270 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 November 16

    I had no idea chawa’s could be domesticated. Huh…learn something new everyday.

    Of course, a chawa-soner mix is just…well, it’s just inferior and anyone who knows what they want can tell you that. Srsly.

    In the wild, don’t they eat lacawates? I wonder if domesticated chawa’s will eat vintage Crisco or cereal….

    Adores: 10
  2. 2010 November 16
    Mindfield permalink

    In fact, I think this is a transliteration of a mispronouncing of the word “Jawa,” and his Jawa ran away (and is, presumably at this very moment, scavenging the neighborhood’s cars for parts to get back to Tatooine). Now he wants a new Jawa but it can’t be a mix or come equipped with sonar — this must be a purebred Jawa, glowing eyes, hooded cloak, the whole bit. No sonar, ionisation blaster only. He can share displays on Yahoo, and he knows what he wants, so no trying to fool him with disguised Tuskan Raiders or Ewoks or anything.

    Adores: 26
    • 2010 November 16

      SmilingPuppy – you can’t see them, but I’m throwing elebenty-hunnert whipped-cream topped pie-doors your way.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        Mindfield permalink

        Ooh, awesome, my first collection of invisible door pies! Except, where am I going to keep these? I can’t put them in the same cabinet is the other, visible ones. Wait, what about that infinite bicycle cabinet from a couple months back? Ooh, that would be perfect. I wonder if it’s still available?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16

          Wellllllllll…..I do have a RED TABLE! TAKE IT FOR FREE!

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      Meej permalink

      Well, clearly he just needs to stick his head out the window and yell “Utinni!”

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 16
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Win.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Bacontini permalink

        You called?

        Oh, Bacontini’s mistake. Carry on.

        Adores: 12
        • 2013 January 24
          Lizzi permalink

          While I was washing my hair this morning I was thinking about Star Wars and then I wondered if someone said ‘hootini” would Bacontini show up? I now have my answer.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 November 16
        Windrose permalink

        Many A Doors!

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      NotMyName permalink

      Chawa-bacca.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        Addicted Reader permalink

        That makes me think “cowabunga (dude!)”

        Adores: 4
  3. 2010 November 16
    mudslicker permalink

    Everyone knows that those pequeños perros are spelled CHAWAWA.

    There. That’s better.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 16
      Mindfield permalink

      Chihooahooas.

      /Chy chy rodwigwayz.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 November 16
        Innana permalink

        Matt might have something to say about your sense of humor.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        Chi hoo-a-hoo whose?

        Why, I just LOVE having to pronounce every single letter in an awkwardly long word. So, yup, that MUST be how it’s spelled.

        Thank you Mindfield.

        *adore +1*

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Windrose permalink

          Dang, no matter how many times I click on that adore, it won’t increase.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *CRUNCH*

          Uh-oh. I think I broke my mouse.

          Adores: 18
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s because you have to use the special Yeasterday Mug to slam down on your mouse to click on it, Windy [+edit] and sarajean.

          Adores: 8
  4. 2010 November 16
    christina permalink

    Maybe they are TX fans who don’t want a chawa who is going to cheer for OU.

    Adores: 6
  5. 2010 November 16
    Innana permalink

    Yesterday
    That’s when my chawa ran so far away.
    All the colors ran to dreary gray.
    Oh, chawa dear, why did you stray?

    I can’t load pics,
    But I know I will not have a mix,
    And to soners I say nix, nix, nix,
    Oh chawa dear, come back to stay!

    I’m not rude at all,
    Just appalled
    At your display
    Of coldness to my grief.
    What’s your beef?
    What do you say

    To chawa disps.
    Yes, it sounds as though I have a lisp.
    Chack it out; I only reminisce

    On chawas mine, and yesterday.

    Adores: 26
    • 2010 November 16
      Lola permalink

      Even if I could give doors, I could not give enough.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        Innana permalink

        Lola! Thank you! Somehow I always feel extra pleased with your praise.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Lola’s adores truly don’t stink.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          They might today. Our boiler was broken and I had no hot water. 🙁

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16

          Oh, so THAT’s what that is.

          I thought somebody was making kimchi in here.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          Nah, Fritos. 8)

          Adores: 5
  6. 2010 November 16
    mudslicker permalink

    I think I hate not having the Adores function more so than not having the Edit function. I’m having an OCD crash.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 16
      Innana permalink

      Agreed!! So many here deserve their Adores.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        It just makes it so gosh darn hard to play Popularity Contest (by Mattel® ) !!!!

        Adores: 14
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          I can’t tell if anyone loves me today.

          (whine, whine, whine)

          In all seriousness, many bees and doors to the Llamanun and Ostrimu for their efforts to make the code play nice with all our various browsers. Microsoft can’t be bothered to make their browser adhere to the published standards; Mozilla is standards-compliant but that means their functionality is more circumscribed; I have no idea what the coding philosophy is for either Opera or Chrome.

          This means that anyone creating plugins for WordPress needs to take all of these variables into account in *their* code and manage error handling for each browser and that’s on top of the WordPress code itself.

          Bleh.
          Sometimes, I think it’s a miracle that so many web sites work as well as they do.

          Signed,
          A refugee from a browser-based software company

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 November 16

          Oof! I keep thinking about clicking doors, but it’s like thinking you’re at the bottom of the staircase, so you step, but there was really one more step….

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          And, WordPress is rather sensible.
          Heaven forfend that drmk & dan had been lured to the perdition which is drupal.

          drupal sells itself as ‘fully customizable.’ That’s because it is like a kit car, only without a body or specific engine picked out. So, the sucker err, “new user” is usually left to pick the most stick-like thing near to hand, and roll a tire along, pretending it’s the race car they were promised. To then find that “drupal programmers” are bit like “interior decorators”–every one knows one, but the good ones are elebenty dollars a second, and you are no longer in charge, and you get what you get, even if that’s not what you wanted.

          But, I might be jaded in this.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          At previously-mentioned software development company, I had the singular joy of implementing a company blog and got to ponder long and hard about all of the various offerings: free, paid, hosted here, hosted there, self-hosted, underlying architecture etc. I finally threw up my hands and said “self-hosted WordPress gives us the most control and flexibility at the best price with the easiest set-up.”

          And, dagummit, I was right. But I never had to deal with doors and the like…

          Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      Mindfield permalink

      Me three. How am I supposed to fling doors around when the door flinger is missing? I’ve got a stack here and they’re just too big to fit in the CD tray. Anybody know where I can rent an ICBDF*?

      * Intercontinental Ballistic Door Flinger

      Adores: 15
    • 2010 November 16
      Stephanae permalink

      I agree, Mudsy. I kind of like it when the edit function is disabled, and we get to laugh at our mistakes. It just adds to the snark lounge’s atmosphere. But I feel broken without doors. Please, oh please, give back doors. I’ll clear my cache, occasionally. I don’t mind.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        pssst…. Steph…. We’ll need to muzzle Cappy too.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          You hold him down, Mudsy, and I’ll bind him with 400 errors! Or wait, we already tried that, didn’t we?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          **raising an eyebrow quizzically**

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Ooh….you love it Cappy! Just sit down and take your medicine.

          😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          Being wrestled by the distaff (whether physically or intellectually) not being something I eschew; my question is about this “medication” you allege to be needful.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        …and in the darkness bind him…

        Frodo says, shut off the lights. If we do that, suuuuurely nothing bad could happen….

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          And what will Frodo do to us when we turn off the lights? You can’t trust someone who is that wide-eyed all the time.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          I think it has to do something with going Trick-or-Treating in Mordor. Somebody said Sauron gives out the best candy.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16

          Agh! Again with the trying and the clicking and the not clicking…. +1 SJ 🙂

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          EB, I think that sums up my feelings very well.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16

          *blink* I meant to say +1 Mudsy. (How exactly did it take me 5 hours to notice that??) But SJ, you can have doors somewhere else :-p

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 16
      christina permalink

      And I just became door enabled last week. Tis sad indeed. *frown*

      Adores: 5
  7. 2010 November 16
    sarajean80 permalink

    Happy Yeasterday, everyone! It’s that special day when we celebrate out favorite unicellular fungi by drinking nothing but beer and wine, eating only bread, and spending the day watching commercials for embarrassing personal hygiene products!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      Do we get to find the hidden colored yeasterday eggs now sarajean? Is THIS the day? Pretty please. *giddy/excited clap*

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 16
        sarajean80 permalink

        Don’t forget to take your special bread basket when you go hunting for yeasterday eggs!

        You might want to avoid the green furry ones, those are probably the ones we couldn’t find last year.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Thanks for the heads up!

          I would have [naturally] assumed that the green furry ones were the ones you use to make green eggs and spam.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          Doors for SJ and Mudsy and mead all around for your Yeasterday celebrations!

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      Mindfield permalink

      Fantastic. I’ll offer up a 2-4 that everyone here can dip into.

      It’s the yeast I can do.

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 16

      I think we should all spend a few minutes mourning my sourdough starter, which tragically died this year due to extreme neglect.

      It was a brave little soldier that just couldn’t survive 12 months in the back of the fridge trapped behind the Nam Pla.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        My friendship bread bit the flour dust April 1, 1989. I was hoping worried it would mark the extinction of a species. However, rumor has it that there is a starter hidden away somewhere in that charming and quaint city of Chernobyl. I hope to go there on a pilgrimage one day.

        *may the yeastie beasties be upon you all during this festive season*

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16

          I should take the opportunity to start a new Sourdough starter in order to honor yeasterday.

          Too bad it wouldn’t actually have any yeast for about 5 days.

          Is there a Bacterioday?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s because you have to start it on the first day of the Five Days of Yeasterday, silly.

          *handing you a handy Yeasterday Advent calendar*

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          Camille permalink

          On the first day of Yeasterday, my true love gave to me
          A roll in the shape of a bee

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          On the second day of Yeasterday,
          my true love gave to me
          Two French croissants
          and a roll in the shape of a bee…..

          Adores: 14
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          On the third day of Yeasterday my true love gave to me
          Three turtle loaves,
          Two French croissants,
          and a roll in the shape of a bee…

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 16
          Mindfield permalink

          On the third day of Yeasterday
          My true love gave to me
          Four pilsner beers
          Three turtle loaves
          Two french croissants
          And a roll in the shape of a bee…

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          On the fourth day of Yeasterday, my true love gave to me:
          Four fluffy pancakes
          Three turtle loaves
          Two French croissants
          And a roll in the shape of a bee.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Mindfield….you CAN’T get four pilsner beers on the THIRD/FOURTH day of Yeasterday.

          (You get them on the FIRST day of Yesterday. It helps with the counting.)

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16

          On the Fifth day of Yeasterday, my true love gave to me:
          FIVE HOT CUMPETS!
          Four fluffy pancake
          Three turtle loves
          Two French croissants
          And a roll in the shope of a Bee.

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          Uh, Taco/Typo …
          CUMPETS?!?!?!?!!????!?!?!!!!!

          That’s even better/worse than t-sh!ts.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 16

          Well crap.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          Typo/Taco and Windy both seem to have a thing for turtle loves.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16

          Double well crap!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          christina permalink

          adores +173748484848472766266

          This thread nearly caused hyperventilation. I love you guys!

          Adores: 11
      • 2010 November 16
        Windrose permalink

        On the (lost count) day of Yeasterday, my true love gave to me
        Many bottles of wine
        Four pilsner beers and fluffy pancakes,
        Three loves of turtle
        Two croissants of French
        and a ROLL in the Shape of a bee!

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          On the …Uhhh … seventh? day of Yeasterday my true love gave to me …
          seven grey goose martinis
          Many bottles of wine
          FIVE HOT CRUMPETS!
          Four pilsner beers and fluffy pancakes
          Three turtle loaves
          Two French croissants
          And a roll in the shape of a Bee!

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          Mindfield permalink

          On the pizza day of yes miss
          My parole officer gave to me
          Whiskey…
          Um … bread…
          Corn.
          Whiskey.
          Cumpets.
          FIVE MOLDEN GOLSENS*.
          Four cabbage rolls
          Two smelly cats
          And a bar fridge in Milwaukee.

          * Probably only Canadians of a certain age will get this.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 16

          On the ninth day of Yeasterday my true love gave to me
          Nine margaritas
          Eight pizza days of miss
          Seven Grey Goose Martinis
          Six Many Bottles of Wine
          FIVE HOT CUMPETS
          Four Pilsner Beers and Fluffy Pancakes
          Three Turtle Loaves
          Two French Croissants
          And A Roll in the Shape of a Bee!

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          People! People! There are only FIVE days of Yeasterday.

          *I knew there’d be trouble once the alcohol started flowing*

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16

          *Passes around hot cumpets*

          Dude, where’s the keg?! We’re only up to day 9 out of 5 in the song, we’ve got at least a brazillian to go, we have to catch up!

          Somebody get the baguettes and unicycles for the jousting tournament! No SJ’s going to be the brown knight. I don’t care if she’s juggling boules, tell her to put on her bread bowl and mount up!

          The vegemite eating contest is starting! Someobody get some more beer in there for the losers!

          And who brought that yogurt in here?!

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 16
          LimeLolly permalink

          I brought rum cake with extra rum and … stop hogging all the yeasterday candy! Whose team am I on?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          You’re on a “roll” today Taco.

          I want my Maypo Adores back!!!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Bacontini permalink

          What can Bacontini say, I think he like to rise to the occasion.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          On the elebentyeth day of Yeasterday my true love gave to me…

          uh…

          hang on…

          I know she’s* somewhere under this mound of junk!

          *I want to let you know it took multiple tries at the editor to get that to read “she’s” and not “he’s”, not because of the editor, but because I’m apparently incompitent with the keyboard todays. incompetent with the keyboard today. I hope my brain isn’t trying to tell me something subliminally.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I would mind hearing so much Christmas music all month if it was all stuff composed here at YSaC. We need to find a way to make that happen.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          *would not mind

          Makes more sense that way.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 16

      You know, I used to celebrate Yeasterday, but it’s gotten so commercial these days it just hasn’t been the same.

      It seems that earlier and earlier every year stores are putting out their displays of bread and beer, and it really just ruins the spirit of the holiday.

      And now that the Yeasterday parade is being run by Monistat, I just can’t bring myself to watch.

      I’ll be over in the corner if you need me.

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        I heard Charlie Brown was out in the bread patch with Linus waiting for The Great Infection.

        They left out cookies and everything.

        *adore +1 for TM*

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          adore +1 for “Great Infection,” Mudsy.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          kelli permalink

          Does the Great Infection give out tubes of Monistat?

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16

          Naw, they just give them out afterwards to those who want to help clean up after the party.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          kelli permalink

          those who want to help clean up after the party.

          I thought with the Great Infection you had to clean it up before you could party.

          *I’ll just sit in my corner*

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          Not if you like to shair, kelli.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2010 November 16

    Now available in the Children’s Department of your favorite bookstore, “Chawa: The Littlest Wookie”.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I’d buy it for all the young, corruptible minds on my holiday shopping list.

      Adores: 5
  9. 2010 November 16
    Lara permalink

    Someone other than this Sparky posted a chawa?! 0_0

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 16

      She must have flagged them because I checked a whole slew of big cities and no Chawa.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        sarajean80 permalink

        Maybe the other person misspelled Chawa.

        Adores: 4
  10. 2010 November 16

    I’m still trying to figure out where on the calendar Yeasterday falls. You know, the famous day of baking? The day the cakes all rose together to overcome their unleavened brethren?

    She was looking to pick up a second chawa to breed with her first chawa, but because she opened the door and it ran out, it’s gone now. So, she doesn’t want just the other person’s chawa by itself and she doesn’t want to have to find a “donor” (possible typo on the S of soner instead of a D, and the e instead of the o because of ignorance?) to breed them.

    Oh, and if anyone sees the chawa she let out the door, she can share the pics she has of it on yahoo with them to confirm its identity.

    As far as knowing what she wants… maybe that was just a little sexytimbes innuendo. Perhaps thinking about some chawas going at it really gets her worked up. I DUNNO, MAN, I DUNNO…

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16

      For some reason I feel proud of the fact that I visited YSaC first today instead of the other site I usually frequent. Interesting. The intellectual presence is definitely overwhelmingly higher here… which I find to be completely and totally rad.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        We’re glad you stopped here first, too. YSaC is better than morphine and donuts in the morning* (on most days).

        *smells like… Victory?

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          christina permalink

          We have morphine and donuts here on the weekends. We’d bring them out for the work week, but coffee slices and amphetamines seems to be working just fine.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16

          I prefer caffeine and narcotics…. They make me happy :-p

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 16
        Moira permalink

        Oooo, Beau, I like your interpretation. I, too, got a breeding vibe off the ad but couldn’t be arsed to stop reading comments long enough to identify and mention it. I shall ponder on this shortly.

        I also have to whole-heartedly agree with your assessment of the commenters here. Slipping into the warm, diverse, and (usually*) well-spelled and -punctuated atmosphere of the Snark Lounge was oddly soothing. Also, these folks know how to sling a good poop joke.

        *Does not apply to sarcastic usage or TypoMagic. YMMV.

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        CapnMac permalink

        Isn’t chawa bread the one that looks braided?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          That’s challah bread. Perhaps it ran out the door when she wasn’t looking.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          And all of a sudden, doors are back!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          Thus is the power of totally awesome-tasting and traditionally Jewish bread!

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        Astrognash permalink

        1. Throw out your morphine and donuts. (No, really, do it.)
        2. Visit YSaC immediately and eat some challah bread.
        3. ???
        4. Profit!!!

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          I thought that was “throw out your tv and eat a lot of peaches”

          No?

          Nevermind.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16

          Millions of peaches?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          James and the morbidly obese peach? o, wait, that was rude

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Peaches for me?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 16
          Tankerbell permalink

          Cap’n, morbidly obese peaches prefer to be called “extradimensional.”

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      It’s generally accepted as the eighth day of the week.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        …except during Leap Year when it’s the ninth day of the week.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          …Or in years that are prime numbers, then it’s the tenth day of the week.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16

          Or during weeks that have days ending in “Y”, then it’s the elebenty-ith day of the week.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          And on any of the Beatles’ birthday weeks, it’s the ninth day of the week as well, because the eight day of the week is reserved for “nothin’ but love, babe.”

          Adores: 10
  11. 2010 November 16

    Typo’s Magic Translation Service to the rescue:

    I am not rude, just arrogant and entitled; so it really isn’t the same thing in my book.

    What I need here people is a Chawa. My current Chawa was not able to stay due to a personality conflict; in that it couldn’t stand my personality and bolted the moment I went to check the mail. There have been a lot of Chawas on here recently posted by some well meaning people who were sadly not as awesome as I. Now, I’m not going to name names here, but if it happens again I’m going to QUICKLY run out of room in my basement for more bodies, and I don’t think anyone here wants that.

    My needs are simple: No mixed breeds (This means you Cher), no soners, and it must be delivered! I’m doing YOU a favor by even considering your Chawa, so you need to be flexible and come to me. It also makes it easier to get the bodies into the basement should your Chawa displease me. Also, I can’t be bothered to learn how to upload pics here, so please use Yahoo as an inconvenient alternative to acquire photos of the Chawa I need. You can similarly send photos to me, with a 6 page description of the Chawa you wish to give me.

    I know what I want, so please do not even think of bringing a Chawa that does not match the following description.

    Thank you,
    Asshat Esq.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 November 16
      Innana permalink

      adore +3

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Me too. (I feel like I’ve done something bad and my doors were taken away.)

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      *adore +1*

      No mixed breeds

      Is this Aryan Tuesday?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Stephanae permalink

        Well, it can be Aryan Tuesday for you, if you’d like. But if you ask Windy, today is Do-Over Tuesday. If you ask Artsy, today is Monday. And if you ask SJ, today is Yeasterday. Me, I think I’m just going to go ahead and celebrate Beesmas, now. Windy suggested the 21st for Beesmas, but I’m a bit busy with Yule on that day. Oh wait, Yeasterday involves beer. Never mind, I’m with SJ.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          If you’re celebrating Beesmas, don’t forget you have to fast for 14 days!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          christina permalink

          Mind your own Beesmas! Sorry, couldn’t resist. I think I’ll celebrate Beesmas today as well, and everday until the end of the year. Beesmas is too important for a single day of festivities.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Did you recite that from Dickens’ A Beesmus Carol?

          “I will honor Beesmus in my heart, and try to keep it throughout the year.”

          8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Camille permalink

          On the first day of Beesmas, my true love gave to me
          Bees

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16

          On the second day of Beesmas, my true love gave to me
          Bees
          And bees

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          After 2pm today, you local JitB (if participating) wil lgive away two tacos for free (they claim–I’m wooried about how they use red tables in the stores).
          But, I’m looking for positives on an unadorable day filled with worries about chawa overpopulation, hyperinflation, routerbot infections, and that patricia (whoever she is) gave my cell number to the clinic that called earlier.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          Uh-oh – Did the rabbit die?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          Windrose permalink

          Stephanae, I was thinking we could kill two bon fires with one bottle of mead. I mean, it’s really just a few extra hours of shopping and wrapping, right? 8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Windrose permalink

          Actually, Beesmas should be August 19th, but I don’t want to wait a whole year to celerybate.

          The adores are back, and now I am getting the 400 bad request when I submit, so things are really screwy on the work computer I am not supposed to be doing this on.

          If I don’t get bounced out, I will adore everyone.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          Windy, I love that you are risking regulatory infraction to be with us. I gave you an adore and would give more if I could just for that.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          we could kill two bon fires with one bottle of mead

          I like the simplification, but could we take the kill one bonfire with two bottles of mead approach, instead?

          P.S. Why August 19th? What don’t I know about that date?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          SJ, they no longer poison rodents for that specific test.
          Nice person who left VM on my cell did make it sound like it was a female-plumbing-specific clinic, though.
          They’ve not called back (either clinic or Patricia), so i’m inclined to let sleeping HIPPAs lie . . .

          Other than the one error at mid-day, adores on or off has not affected my YSaC access. The snowy weather has had effect on access through certain router sites, though.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          The adores are back, and now I am getting the 400 bad request when I submit

          These things may not* be unrelated.
          While the adores were missing, did anyone get the 400 errors?

          *almost certainly are not, most likely

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          Sssssh. Moira! Are you trying to get our doors taken away again?!?! I got elebenty 400 errors when doors were off! Now that they’re back on, my browser loves YSaC.

          *wanders away mumbling about needing more muzzles

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 17
          Moira permalink

          [techie corey] Most certainly am NOT trying to get doors taken away! Am trying merely to solicit feedback on when and where errors occur in order to help rule out potential causes. 🙂

          So, we know of at least one commenter who had 400 errors while doors were off. While this is not conclusive, it *is* suggestive.

          To nudge it from merely suggestive to somewhere closer to conclusive, it would be necessary to find if other people had the 400 error and if the error was observed on systems with clean caches and different browsers.[/techie corey]

          (Yes, I went into IT primarily because this is how my brain processes puzzles. I’d apologize ‘cept that I kinda like being abnormal in this particular way. Just tell me to shove off, though, and I will.)

          Hrm, I wonder if being logged into the forums shows any correlation? *wanders off muttering*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 17

          Moira: I got a 400 when the doors were off–my first in a long time. I wasn’t logged in to the forum when the error happened.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 November 17
          Moira permalink

          Thanks, EB.
          I was wondering because I stayed logged into the forum for a really long time and then started getting 400 errors and then I got busy and didn’t come around for a while and when I did come back, I wasn’t logged into the forums and I haven’t had a 400 again yet, myself, but I have also not recently cleaned my cache though I have had several FF updates and computer reboots.

          *passes out from lack of oxygen*
          THUNK

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 November 17
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Haha, I totally got the run-on-sentence-going-to-pass-out-from-lack-of-oxygen vibe before I even read your last few lines :-p

          Adores: 0
  12. 2010 November 16
    Windrose permalink

    If this Sparkie was really looking to get her chawa back, she would have posted a description, had a collar on the dog, tags with her phone number, and be putting flyers up all over the neighborhood. So either she opened the door and told poor little Chawa to beat it, and wants a cheap replacement, or Chawa saw the open door as an opportunity to find true love and a caring family– Oh, I think I finally have a plot for NaNoWriMo!

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16

      It’s like homeward bound! Only instead of trying to find it’s home, the Chawa is running for it’s life trying to get away from the owner who desperately wants it back.

      Like a cross between The Fugative and Air Buddies. With maybe a little Silence of the Lambs thrown in for good measure.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        LimeLolly permalink

        Anyone need some leather socks? Just in case…

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Stephanae permalink

        Was The Fugative that movie where Harrison Ford plays the theme and Tommy Lee Jones plays the counterpoint that chases him?

        *apologizes for making obscure music jokes two days in a row but is way behind in the Snark Lounge today.*

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, TLJ does pull out all the stops in that cine allegro

          Enough that they cloned off a second film from just the USMS unit in the film

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Let’s see, we have the Llamanun and Ostrimu, Astro and Laurel, the Cap’n, and lots more too many to list who are music geeks to some degree. I think you’re safe with obscure music jokes. And probably not just safe, but appreciated, even.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          I think you’re safe with just plain obscure jokes. And probably not just safe, but appreciated, even.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          Thanks AR and Astro! I feel very safe now, and appreciated, even.

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      kelli permalink

      Since when do NaNoWriMo projects need a plot?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        sarajean80 permalink

        Who needs a plot when you can just add pirates, ninjas, or robots!

        Pirates, ninjas, and robots solve everything.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16

          Don’t forget the token Marry Sue to rescue the day, get the boy, and be adored by all. And all this before her daily weapons training and physics lecture!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          SJ, MGM legal departmemt on line 16, they’ve already optioned 6 movies about pirate ninja robots, ninja pirate robots, and robotic pirate ninja . . .

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          But… but… Taco Typo… all the adores are gone! How can we adore Miss Marry?

          Adores: 6
  13. 2010 November 16
    Rappenwolf permalink

    She may know what she wants, and it definitely is NOT a dictionary!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      Awwww…look…your avatar is a tiny chewbacca-chawa mix! Adorable!

      Adores: 5
  14. 2010 November 16
    LimeLolly permalink

    MandaB predicted this. Chihuahuas are running away from home and having secret meetings.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      Is that Stinkerbelle?

      *snickers*

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        LimeLolly permalink

        Barkity bark bark, arf.

        I see cats.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          You’re looking down. They must be very tiny cats.

          😉

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          LimeLolly permalink

          I’m on a throne. hehe

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Touché LL!

          *passing you the Charmin*

          “Here, you might be needing this soon.”

          Adores: 4
  15. 2010 November 16
    Lola permalink

    Wait, wait, I know what it is. Not.a.chihuahua. They’re actually missing their chupacabra (what, you think they’d spell that any better than chihuahua?) and want to get it back before they get blamed for dead, exsanguinated livestock and scaring neighborhood chirruns again.

    Adores: 6
  16. 2010 November 16
    Angel permalink

    The kinder, gentler side of me keeps insisting that the poster is indeed looking for their own dog. My brain is insisting that “disps” is “description.”

    Here’s the way my brain translates this post:

    Just yesterday, my chihuahua ran out the door and didn’t return. And yes, I replied about the other chihuahua on here, but you were not certain that it was my dog and so you wanted me to come see if it was mine. However, it turned out to be a mix and I’d sooner that you keep it rather than try to get me to replace my own dog with it. For some reason I’m not able to upload pictures but I can share a picture from Yahoo with a picture of my dog if you think that you’ve found one that fits the description of mine. P. S. I don’t want a different dog, I want my own, so please don’t try to give me your unwanted animal.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 16
      Camille permalink

      I kind of read it that way too, Angel. But I do wonder what kind of nut puts the header “I am not rude just” on an ad that should be headed, “Please help me find my lost dog.”

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        Angel has been certified by Rosetta Stone, Inc. to be added to our illustrious but rare crew of translators of English —-> Sparkylish and Sparkylish —–> English.

        Now be sure to take your meds after every translation.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 November 16
        Moira permalink

        Angel, that fits really well. I still have trouble interpreting Sparkese and could not make heads nor tails of either “soner” or “disps”.

        And while a rational person might post “Lost Dog” in the title, it would take just a slightly irrational one having a bad day and a bad experience or two in the search to get all aggressively defensive like this.

        (And I think we are well aware that irrational behavior is not particularly rare among Sparkies.)

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Mindfield permalink

        Given Sparky’s prowess at spelling and grammar, I’m willing to bet the title was supposed to read, “I am not nude just”

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, to continue Angel’s putative presumption of Sparkie innocence, the “I’m not rude” could, just could, be if the second Sparq’ has called like elebenty times, as no one else responded to his ad of “Chawa 4 salle, Frre!”
          Which has distressed the above author to poorly-spelt declarations of rudeness in not wanting to talk to the chawa-infested Sparq’ but wanting only her own, dear, chawa back.
          As the Old Ones keep telling her are needed or she’s not advancing to the next MLM level unless she can recruit more suckers ‘sales associates’ before End of the Business Month

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      sarajean80 permalink

      You might have a future in translating CraigsList ads from Sparkese into English.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        Hehehe…..OMG….I’m so cracking a furry green egg to celebrate!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Mindfield permalink

          You could open a website, call the company CraigsList Translation Services.

          You may not want to use an acronym…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          Shouldn’t that be “CraigsList Instant Translation Services”?

          *I’ll go stand in the corner now.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 16

          Moira, good call. I approve of this acronym.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Ummmm…..I’ll get Taco, we’ll discuss the acronym over some hot cumpets. Please watch your step and be sure and cross over the line carefully.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16

          Here a we use the Craigslist Understanding and Management Process for English Translation.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh good. At least we’re not using the Craigslist Understanding of Nuance in Translation anymore. That got the ire of so many customers.

          *joining Moira in the corner*

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16

          Yeah, I wasn’t gonna go there. I was tempted but decided against it.

          Now I won’t hesitate in the future.

          Bwahahaha.

          And stuff.

          Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “Stuff” in this particular thread.

          *Goes off to join the corner*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Mindfield and Moira already crossed Johnny Cash’s line.

          I keep a close watch on this blog of mine
          I keep my Google wide open all the time
          I keep the [tags]open for the cheese that binds
          Because you’re all mine
          I cross the line…

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16

          No, TM, the phrase you’re not supposed to use is “And junk”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          What, my Craigslist Rapid Assessment Protocol is obsolete? <grumblegrumbleMoore’s Lawgrumble>

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh, that was upgrades ago Capn! Everyone said it worked like carp (what fish had to do with it, I have no idea).

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Moira permalink

          And the CraigsList Assessment Protocol (which mimicked Cappy’s product but was much less benign) has finally been successfully treated and cleared off of infected computers.

          Adores: 4
  17. 2010 November 16
    Angel permalink

    Maybe I’ll hold off on having my business cards printed…

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 16
      Lola permalink

      Angel, I love your cat’s expression in your avatar. It seems vaguely disappointed, in a particularly feline manner.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Stephanae permalink

        You see disappointed, Lola? I totally think Evil Feline Overlord when I look at Angel’s avvie.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          Maybe I have a higher tolerance for feline glares?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          I’m quite fond of Evil Feline Overlords, so I’d prefer to think we were each just doing our own brand of affectionate interpretation.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        Angel permalink

        He does look slightly disapproving, doesn’t he? He’s probably just disappointed with my posts. (And yes, he is a complete Evil Feline Overlord stuffed inside a fluffy cutesuit.)

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          There does seem to be the least hint of “Human, that had better not be domestic <eyeroll> salmon in that tin; some of us have standards.”

          Adores: 5
  18. 2010 November 16

    Dammit…these doors are stacking up and I’m going to have to find some way to fling them…

    Okay, Typo…you get elebenty-brazillion…so…um DUCK! Oooh…that is soooooooooo going to leave a mark.

    Mudsy, Moira, SJ, Psycho-Smiley-Puppy, and everyone else….here ya go! *flings the rest of the whipped-cream topped pie-doors at the crowd*

    Whew…okay, looks like that took care of them…for now.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      I prefer Boston cream myself, CJ.

      Unless of course they’re sliding glass doors—then it’s key lime all the way!!!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16

        *sticks fork in pie-doors*

        Mmmmm…..there’s Boston cream, key lime, apple, cherry, chocolate and coconut cream.

        Take your pick. 🙂

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Windrose permalink

          CJ, I thought that was going to be one pie. 8/

          Adores: 2
  19. 2010 November 16

    So I’m reading about patients who have service animals… “While dogs serve as service animals most often, some patients enlist cats, monkeys, or even ferrets in this role.” However, when I glanced at the page, the first thing I saw was “cats, monkeys, or even ferrets” and I thought, “Seriously? Did someone from YSaC hack into the course and add this in?”

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      mudslicker permalink

      I always prefer my ferrets to be uneven. I love asymmetry.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 16

        Well, if you have odd ferrets, you will be able to relate to them… 😀

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Except I always have to remind them that plaids don’t go well with stripes and that they shouldn’t wear their hats on their arses.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      sarajean80 permalink

      Ferrets as service animals? Really? I’m having trouble picturing that. (Also cats as service animals. What service can they provide, knocking random items onto the floor in the middle of the night? Mine already do that.)

      Random service animal story! While on a trip to Pennsylvania my mom and I decided to take a tour of this tiny chocolate place. The “tour” lasted about fifteen minutes and covered about twenty feet.(“Here is where we make candy. Here is where we sell candy. Buy some of our candy.”) As we were leaving a family crowded in and wanted to take the tour. They had a basset hound with them on a normal leash and collar. The tour guide told them the dog could not go on the tour because it was a health risk. (Not sure if that was because the dog could possibly eat the chocolate and die or because it’s just not a good idea to have a medium sized mammal covered in fur walking through a production floor.Possibly both.)The woman refused to leave her dog, claiming it was a service animal. The guide told her she would be happy to lead her through if she had trouble seeing and the woman said,”Oh, I’m not blind. I have diabetes.” Wait … what?

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        *adores +1 for sarajean*

        I take it that the service animal throws itself between the chocolate and the client; thus preventing a massive diabeasties attack?

        Okay, Hershey, PA is NOT a tiny chocolate place (I’m making this assumption that this is where you went sarajean and you’re not going to dissuade me because I have this story to tell) .

        I and a friend, made the mistake of taking a much-younger-than-now offspring there in July. In the 94 degree heat. Chocolate, while in the hands of an 8 year old, does not hold up well in the backseat of a Honda Accord. The end.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          Actually, it was near Hershey but not in it. (We did go there, the street lamps shaped like Kisses and the pervasive smell of chocolate were the best things about it. The actual Hershey plant did not impress me and I found the singing animatronic cows at the beginning of the “factory ride” disturbing.) It was some Mom-and-Pop place in a little town whose name escapes me at the moment.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          I loathe those sorts of places. The kisses-shaped street lights reminded me of teardrops. God’s teardrops. If I had known that it was something like elebenty million miles off the Pennsy Tkp I would have hijacked the car and headed to Mexico.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16

        Oh goodness, I had to look this up…

        She says that many people do not like dogs, but they need a service animal. These people can use a service cat instead. These service felines are able to alert when there is imminent danger. To alert you, the cat may paw at you or sit on your chest. … Using clicker training, a cat can be taught to alert the arrival of a seizure. Cats, just like dogs, have an innate sense of when seizures are coming. Kittens can also be taught to use a telephone when the owner is unable to call for help. (link)

        I don’t know where to start with that one… The cat sitting on your chest to alert you of danger? Am I in danger all the time? Or the kitten learning how to use the phone. Can you imagine the long distance charges, in addition to paying for all the pizzas that Spot orders?

        Some people apparently use ferrets for emotional support to prevent anxiety attacks, which is iffy under ADA laws about service animals. As for the diabetic woman, dogs can (apparently) be trained to detect changes in their owner’s scent, indicating hypoglycemia and prompting the owner to test. They can also be trained to fetch something sweet during a hypoglycemic episode, and even possibly to dial 911. That being said, I don’t see any reason to have the service dog with you during a tour of a chocolate factory that lasts 15 minutes… But that’s just me.

        (Oops, I seem to have dropped these: [corey][/corey])

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 16
          Mindfield permalink

          “911, what is your emergency?”
          “Mrow?
          “Excuse me?”
          “Mrooorow.”
          “You say Timmy fell down the well?”

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          Take those big choppers out of your mouth Lassie and maybe the 911 calls will come out clearer!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16

          Seriously…can you even imagine cats as service animals??

          “Buffy, fetch me the car keys I seem to have dropped on the floor”, the devastatingly beautiful wheelchair-bound Allyn said.

          Buffy ignored the pleas of her tormentor, she was busy watching the birds on the windowsill just out of her reach.

          “Buffy, for crying-out-loud, it’s your job” Allyn pleaded.

          Turning to glance sideways at the demanding hoomin, Buffy swished her tail and uttered a single…”Mrowr..” in response.

          Allyn stared at the cat for a moment, “Damned if I know who thought a cat would make a good service animal. I need an uneven ferret…”

          As Allyn dialed the agency’s phone number, Buffy “accidentally” unplugged the phone with one flick of a sheathed claw……..

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 November 16
          sarajean80 permalink

          My cats would use their awesome phone dialing skills to make prank calls.

          :opens phone bill:

          “Why are there 216 calls on here to … The Meow Mix Consumer Complaint line? Look, I don’t care how often you call, they will never make mouse-flavored cat food or goldfish crackers made with real goldfish. Simon, don’t you hide under the bed! I want to talk to you about this $478 charge to … the Frisky Whiskers chat line?”

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          Yes, the diabetic service dogs are apparently quite the miracle for Type I sufferers–as they can prevent all sorts of bad situations.

          Some fascinating new research on using dogs for detecting human chemical imbalances out there. other intellectually interesting bit is that almost any size canine can be used for this, as it’s the nose that is key. unlike a “guide dog” who needs to be of a size to keep pace with a walking human, and to have a frame and build to help “steer”; a “minder” dog just needs to be attentive and ‘teach-able’ to the tasks. So, a lap dog like a Peke or the like could suffice.

          Was talking to one of my v-e-t clients and this came up. The second question, of when one’s minder lap dog became diabetic, too, so what minder would the minder need was not resolved. (Hope the cramps from folding up from laughing that hard have eased–ben about four days . . . )

          This is also being watched damoclean-shoe-like by the food service industry, as the number of “accomodations” that could be required for buffet and similar all-you-can-eat places could become dramatic (especially as there is little distinction made between the types of Diabetes out there, other than within the medical profession).

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          *adores +1 for CJ and sarajean*

          Ooh! Lemme end that in a cliffhanger…

          ….and with the other paw, released the emergency brake of Allyn’s Hoveround ever so gently. As carousel music played in the background, Allyn rolled. Slowly at first. And then faster and faster out the front door and down the embankment toward the cliffs and the thrashing, hungry ocean below.

          Buffy blinked once as she sat up straight at the foot of the porch stairs. She meowed softly as if to say goodbye to a real pain in the ass; then turned quickly and headed to the kitchen to finish the last of her Whisker Lickins (do NOT look this up in the Urban dictionary). Life was good as a service cat.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 November 16

          Oooh…brazillion key-lime-pie-doors headed your way mudsy…and, may I add I like the way you think, sugah.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          Addicted Reader permalink

          My sister just got a new roommate who brought her diabetes service dog. Sounds about like what you described.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        Moira permalink

        [corey] Actually, I have a friend who has severe anxiety and her cats are classified as service animals because they reduce her need for medication and therapy. Also, in caring for an animal, many people improve their own environment and self-care, leading to a healthier lifestyle. I don’t know about the ADA laws, but it seems not entirely without merit to me… [/corey]

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 November 16
          mudslicker permalink

          But can she take them to Cracker Barrel?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Astrognash permalink

          More importantly, can they be used for profit?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Lola permalink

          Capn’s not wrong. I’ve seen TV spots about people whose dogs scent their blood sugar drop and bring them [something sugary] before the people even realize what’s occurring. But I still suspect that the woman in Sarajean’s anecdote was bluffing, and not convincingly.

          And I’m with EB on the cat-as-emergency-warning: Mine climbs onto my chest anytime I am prone. What’s going on?!?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          [cats on top of people corey]
          Cats have a proclivity to climb to heights as is. Cats also express dominance by climbing on their fellows.
          Cats are also exploratory/curious about uniques situations.

          Now, a human is five or six times taller than a cat. (Stand next to a 4-5 storey building for comparision.) So, when we are prone, this is an oppertunity to climb on a “roof” normally well out of reach. It’s also and instinctive kitten response, too.

          I’ve not heard much on cats as service animals; other than lots of care facilities have started keeping them as therapy animals.
          And, since a cat’s nose is nine times more sensitive than a human’s, and the hearing 19 times better, cat’s may be able to percieve differences in human health that mere monitoring equipment cannot.

          Or, so I’m told.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 16
      christina permalink

      If ever I find myself disabled and in need of a service animal, I’m requesting a monkey.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Astrognash permalink

        I’m requesting a Not.A.Lion.

        Adores: 10
      • 2010 November 16
        Windrose permalink

        Haven’t you always wanted a mon-KEY?

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 November 16
          Smedley permalink

          But not a real green dress, that’s cruel.

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        CapnMac permalink

        Have you not watched Malcom in the Middle?
        Service monkey did not work out well for Craig Feldspar . . .

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 16
      Tankerbell permalink

      So I’m reading about patients who have service animals… “While dogs serve as service animals most often, some patients enlist cats, monkeys, or even ferrets in this role.”

      EB, I initially read this as saying “service donkeys”. And really – I think any of the animals mentioned earlier would make better service animals. And personally, I’d rather be in a restaurant with someone who had a service ferret (uneven though it may be) than a service donkey.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16

        Well, there are service miniature ponies 🙂

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 November 16
          christina permalink

          Aren’t those mine hors?

          Adores: 5
  20. 2010 November 16
    SpaceBug permalink

    A lady had lost her dear chawa.
    She treated her as her own dawa.
    Her dawa said, “mom,
    That mutt is half pom.
    So stop with the tears and the bawa”.

    The chawa ran off to a meetin’.
    Arriving, sniffed butts for a greetin’.
    All around and about.
    Collars off! Came the shout.
    In the buff, we’ll wander the streets in.

    A golf course nearby was the playground.
    Yeasterday eggs and smells did abound.
    And chawa did say.
    I’ll roam free today.
    That lady will suck at lost ‘n found.

    Adores: 7
  21. 2010 November 16
    Princess Buttercup permalink

    French Prudential Doors of Unusual Size to everyone!

    My sincerest thanks for the giggles today.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16

      Inconceivable!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        Mindfield permalink

        You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16

          Plus plus plussity plus!

          Adores: 3
  22. 2010 November 16
    mudslicker permalink

    O.T.

    Had to share this Haiku* that was just given to me. It kind of summed up my stay in here today—so bittersweet:

    I am busy now;
    The Internet has stolen
    So much precious time.

    *Marks, Martin. The New Yorker,”E-mail Auto-Response”, October 25, 2010, pg. 49.

    😉

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 November 16
      Astrognash permalink

      Ooh! Haiku! How nice!
      I always like it when we
      start posting Haikus!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        mudslicker permalink

        I know Astro. It’s like writing and math all rolled into one! The perfect food!

        😉

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16

        Haiku are my fav
        Rite way to write poetry
        I’m not good at rhymes

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 November 16
          Mindfield permalink

          I am not rude just
          Looking for a new chawa
          I know what I want

          Adores: 12
  23. 2010 November 16

    Is that the chawa that Al Gore was trying to get released?

    Adores: 3
  24. 2010 November 16
    Astrognash permalink

    I feel kind of… naked without the adores. Hm. Maybe if I use a Chawa… no, not like THAT!

    Question, oh most venerable Llama-Nun*:

    If the adores ever come back, do the counts on posts start from square one again?

    *Bees be upon you, always.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      Moira permalink

      As I ‘spected… door count is stored in a database field.
      Unless specifically cleared out or overwritten somehow, the door count does not get reset.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 November 16

        Quite thankfully. I was concerned about just that issue … which I thought of AFTER I turned them off.

        Adores: 9
  25. 2010 November 16
    Windrose permalink

    MY ADORES ARE BACK!!!! And Hammy is in the box. Alone.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 16
      LimeLolly permalink

      That’s okay. He ‘likes’ it that way. 😉

      If he says otherwise…. there’s a whole box of puppy treats by the door.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        Astrognash permalink

        Make sure he doesn’t have a t-shirt. He might forget we can all see exactly what he’s doing in there.

        Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 16

      I never did get that punching, or did I? I’m happy to be replaced by a legend, though. I’ll likely never make it again. I told HHNF about how I made it into the box and she got mad and told me about all these magical things that she started on YSaC. I was blown away, to say the least!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 November 16
        Stephanae permalink

        Of course you got your card and punching! Windy never fails to hand those out. It’s toward the end of yesterday’s snarks.

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        CapnMac permalink

        It was “right here” .

        And you even acknowledged Windy afterwards.

        Happened so fast you missed it.

        Adores: 1
  26. 2010 November 16

    The doors are back in town!!

    The doors are back in town!!

    The doors are back!

    The doors are back!

    Spread the word around!

    The doors are back in town, again!!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 November 16
      Lola permalink

      *runs around hyperactively and rampantly flinging doors*

      Adores: 8
    • 2010 November 16
      sarajean80 permalink

      Yay! The door fairy came!

      :runs to check under pillow:

      Adores: 14
    • 2010 November 16
      Angel permalink

      They were asking if you were around;
      How you was, where you could be found…

      You may want to consider witness protection.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      Addicted Reader permalink

      Good choice of earworm.

      ::hums to self for hours::

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16

      It was kind of funny to arrive here today after the doors were reinstated and read all the complaints about the loss of doors. For the record, I would have felt the same…but I was at the dentist, and thus missed the loss of the doors.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Hmm, I wonder which was worse – being at the dentist, or being here when the doors were missing.

        Adores: 4
  27. 2010 November 16
    Tankerbell permalink

    Windy, with Beesmas coming up – would you remind me what the book is that we’re reading for the book club? I have to go to the dentist and that means Tacoma and that means THE BOOKSTORE!!!! YAY!

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      Stephanae permalink

      I would tell you, Tankerbell, except I’d feel like I might be overstepping since you specifically asked Windy. 😉

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 16
        Tankerbell permalink

        Stephanae, you know I have a girl crush on you! So you mock me to test my loyalty… But I went to the fora so now I know. So there. Ppphbltthht! (that’s how you spell the raspberry sound, right?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 November 16
          Stephanae permalink

          A girl crush on me! If I’d known, I would never have tested or teased you, and I’m glad you found the answer in the fora.

          I think ppphbltthht is the way to spell the raspberry sound when someone makes it with her mouth full. You should always stand at least 10 feet away from other people when you do that, though. Unless you’re really mad.

          Adores: 3
  28. 2010 November 16
    Meej permalink

    I love that as of this posting, there are 207 comments, and still not one cogent explanation for what the heck a “soner” is. (The only even quasi-plausible one is that it’s a horrible mangling of “donor.”)

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 16
      Astrognash permalink

      [corey type=”You go some ‘splainin’ to do!”,”Not 100% Sure”]

      well wont have a mix or a soner u can have it


      well wont have a mix {or as oner} u can have it

      or as owner[/corey]

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 November 16
      Stephanae permalink

      I know, right? I usually have at least some kind of guess about what a Sparky means, but I’m just drawing a total blank on “soner.”

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 16
      Moira permalink

      Angel said it was “sooner” so that’s a second possibility. Googling “Chihuahua soner” brought up some music links, some hair links, and this post.

      Oh, Ow… then I googled “chawa soner” and died a little inside at all the misspellings of “chihuahua.”

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 November 16
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, Angel presumed is was meant to be “would get back to you sooner“–if with a lot of what is called “static” i nthe cryptological field.

      You could very well be correct though, the author Sparkie may be willfully ambiguous as to whether her Chawa is a donor or donee if mixed breeding occurs.

      I must admit to having wasted otherwise useful time contemplating the phonetics of ‘soner’; long and short vowels, ‘s’ as ‘c’, ‘z’, ‘ch’ and ‘sh’ aspirate or dentilated, and so on.

      Then keyboarding errors distracted, giving foner, doner, and roner–that latter possibly leading to Runner, but Mike York seems an unlikely Chawa, unless the author is Jenny Agutter . . .

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 November 16
        Astrognash permalink

        You forgot bo- Oh. That was left out on purpose, wasn’t it?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 November 16
          CapnMac permalink

          Yes, young padwan; the Force is strong with this one.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 16
      EclecticBlue permalink

      “or as soon as you can get it”??

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 November 16
      Tankerbell permalink

      Did none of you go to college? I know you did (or are going when you finish High School) so I am shocked – SHOCKED – that you did not realize “soner” is simply a typo – Sparkette left out the “t” in “stoner”. And I, personally, can’t blame her for not wanting a stoner chawa laying around her place all the time, eating all her doritos, watching nothing but Star Trek, saying “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude” all the time… and, of course, constantly nagging her to take him to Taco Bell.

      Adores: 6
  29. 2010 November 16
    Windrose permalink

    Huh. No Ham Can today. Wonder what the little shirt is up to.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 November 16
      Lola permalink

      Some alone time?
      *shudder*

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 November 16
        Mindfield permalink

        Pork is as pork does?

        Adores: 5
  30. 2010 November 17
    christina permalink

    I just killed my laptop giving everyone the doors they deserve. I’m so glad they’re back.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 November 17
      Windrose permalink

      Ah, Hammy, you will be so surprised when you wake up tomorrow with a black eye and no memory of this Punchity Punch Punch!

      G’Night, Chihuahua City!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 November 17

        I wondered what happened, I thought it was just lack of sleep from being in a crappy hotel room. Business travel sucks!

        Adores: 1
  31. 2010 November 18

    When I worked in a vet office we had a lot of clients who didn’t even TRY to spell chihuahua – for “breed”, they put “Taco Bell”.

    Adores: 2

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