YSaC, Vol. 872: I study nuclear science, I wear dark glasses…

2010 December 6

2 BULLETIN / QUARK BOARDS




BULLETIN BOARDS
The first has an aluminium frame, is covered in a coarse faberic and measures 36″ x 24″. The second has a wood frame, has been painted and measures 35″ x 23″

Asking $15 for the pair, please email or call Darren at ###-###-#### for more information.

Quark boards, eh?

Well, new experiments at the Large Hadron Collider are showing some success in producing a quark gluon plasma. This is a fascinating state of matter in which very high energy densities cause the fundamental building blocks of subatomic particles to literally come apart into a “soup” of Fermionic meson components and baryonic force carrying particles.

Clearly Darren here has achieved a major breakthrough in nuclear physics by not only stabilizing this extremely difficult to achieve state of matter, but compressing it, particle board fashion, into an attractive bulletin board covered with coarse faberic. (Faberic, as everyone knows, was a minor character in Henry the Sixth, part 2.)

In case anyone’s confused, I’m sure this diagram will make everything clear:

Thanks for the important announcement, squareby!

226 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 December 6
    CoffDrop permalink

    For the sake of all humanity: Do Not Stick Pins Into A Quark Board!

    Adores: 21
  2. 2010 December 6

    DON’T STICK THAT PIN IN THE QUARK BOA-

    *Somewhere deep in space millions of years later*

    Hey look, that star just winked out. Cool.

    Adores: 17
    • 2010 December 6
      sarajean80 permalink

      If a cluster of black holes arranged in a smiley face suddenly appear, we will now know how it happened.

      Adores: 19
    • 2010 December 6
      KatyCat permalink

      That’s awesome, Taco. Suppose that it’s actually a tiny universe that we are messing with. I mean, if every quark in their universe fits in this quark board, then the pin must wreak havoc that would comparatively be thousands of miles across. I’m not sure the inhabitants would be able to see the point, though.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 6
        CapnMac permalink

        Given the dimensions of a quark versus a push-pin in this context; the pushpin would be in the order of thousands of parsecs across.

        Probably to the point of appearing to be entire “background” of the known universe, and functionally “flat” as well.

        For cosmological speculation, though, consider the void left when the pushpin is yanked out to put up that notice about stealing people’s yoghurt from the breakroom fridge . . .

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Limelolly permalink

          Doesn’t removing the pushpin leave a black hole? A soul-sucking, yogurt-stealing black hole?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6

          But if it’s only a few thousand parsecs across, the Millennium Falcon could make it across in no time, right?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Forget the Millenium Falcon. I want either the Ebon Hawk, or the Rogue Shadow.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          I want the S.S. Heart of Gold.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Never heard of it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          Seriously?
          Does the number 42 even kindle the slightest emotion in your heart?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          What is emotion? Beep.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          You don’t know what 42 means?
          *collective gasp*

          NMN, get thee to Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy five-book trilogy (yes, that is correct) and pay attention!
          There will be a quiz! 8)

          (You can thank us after the quiz. 🙂 )

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 6
      NotMyName permalink

      DON’T CROSS THE STRE-

      Too late.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 6

      DON’T STICK THAT PIN IN THE QUARK BOA-

      Wouldn’t you use gluons to stick things to a quark board?

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 December 6
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Only if you want to be tachyon.

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 December 6

          I do know some people that are tacky at warp speed.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          And if only those people could acheive a complete tachyon existence, and therefore travel faster than any perception in our universe.

          That way, all that would be left of their presence would the “wake” so a sense of unease, perhpaps a vaguely unpleasant smell.

          Instead, their transitional existence causes a cascade of particles from the interface, far too many of those gluons . . .

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I almost achieved a complete tachyon existence, but then I stopped buying all of my clothes and furniture at thrift stores.

          Adores: 10
    • 2010 December 6

      DON’T BLINK

      Adores: 4
  3. 2010 December 6

    Adam Quark, Garbage Collector to the Galaxy, re-decorates.

    Adores: 5
  4. 2010 December 6
    sarajean80 permalink

    How can you spell aluminium right but get fabric wrong?

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 December 6

      How can you spell aluminium right but get fabric wrong?

      Today’s unintentional sinus enema is brought to you by….aluminum.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 6
        Camille permalink

        In British English, it actually IS spelled aluminium.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Camille permalink

          [Oops, forgot my Corey tags!]

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          My spell-check says no i but Dr. Wick E. Pedia says it can be either. I guess we have a British Sparky today.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6

        A faberic is someone who is addicted to Fabio.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          I thought a Fab Eric is my decorator.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, poor Faeberic, a jester with no peer–fine nor course; pity he’s hang-ed a thief.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 6
        LaKitta permalink

        “Aluminum to me, aluminium to some. You can shine like silver all you want but you’re just aluminum.”

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          Look, EB has a heart on.

          Adores: 3
  5. 2010 December 6
    MandaB permalink

    Quark snark! Quark snark! Quark snark!

    Sorry. That’s all I’ve got. Physics on a Monday morning is more than I can handle.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 December 6
      kelli permalink

      Physics is more than I can handle on most days. That may be the reason I became an English major.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6
        Lola permalink

        Physics makes me feel like my brain has turned to quark gluon plasma (TM dan).

        Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6
        CapnMac permalink

        Oh, you just want to ride the Tuscon Subway sans cullottes <G>

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          kelli permalink

          Cappy, it’s still Tucson and there is no subway. Most buildings don’t even have basements.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          TusCon is an annual gathering of people who like food from a specific region in Italy and are costumed accordingly.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6

          And by Subway, he obviously means the restaurant.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          And the people who crash the party are TusCon Raiders.

          Feeling Star Wars-ish today.

          Adores: 3
  6. 2010 December 6
    Camille permalink

    Would it be rude of me to say, “Aw, put a quark in it”?

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 6
      Bombdude permalink

      You might not even feel it…

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 December 6

      If you like it, put a quark in it?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6

        Just how many quarks are there in a gallon?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Hmm, c’mere catulator–lessee, dieceten galons to the sombrero; three Prius to the annoyon, wait, is that a squirrel?

          Adores: 3
  7. 2010 December 6

    I’m no expert, but you can fit a lot of quarks in a 36″x24″ board. Unless you’re talking about a certain Ferengi. In which case I have to refer to my USD to Gold-Pressed Latinum conversion rates.

    [Google search: $15 in Gold-Pressed Latinum]

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 December 6

      I don’t know about you, but if Quark is bored I’m not entertaining him.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 December 6
        CapnMac permalink

        Strooth–I’m underkeen about probing the recesses of my ears . . .

        Adores: 1
  8. 2010 December 6
    KatyCat permalink

    Okay. It’s suddenly become quite clear to me that being *still* up at 6:30 is a very different thing than *getting* up at 6:30. See, I read “quark board” and was blissfully expecting that someone had created a physics diagram and wanted to share/sell it. I was half way through the post for the second time when I remembered that this is YSaC, and so I should be looking for suckage, not physics. …Aand everything made more sense.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 December 6

      Maybe we need to create a sister site: You suck at Physics!

      I’m sure the internet could provide some material for a website like that.

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6
        NotMyName permalink

        We’d just need a bunch of videos of people falling down or doing sports incorrectly.

        I didn’t click on that link, by the way.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          That’s probably for the best.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6
        sarajean80 permalink

        I wonder how many hits the Time Cube Nut gets from here?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          Enough.

          I use both Timecube and ghost hunters as my fall guys for bad science examples.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Time Cube Nuts

          Now I’m glad I didn’t click that link. I don’t like the sound of that.

          Edit: Oh wait, I get it now. I could just delete the above, but it’s funnier to realize what I was thinking.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          mudslicker permalink

          I finally get to YSaC and this back and forth banter hits my eyes—and I haven’t even read the submitted ad yet.

          Ah, yes, this will be a good Monday. Long live the Time Cube guy…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          I love Ghost Hunters, but with a very large grain of salt (e.g., preferably clinging to the rim of a margarita glass).

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          My favorite non-fake show has to be Mythbusters.

          I’m an explosions-guns-and-wacky-experiments kind of guy

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          [matt]I would probably be more tolerant of the show if they would stop pretending that they were using worthwhile scientific and technical methods.

          As an engineer watching them misuse equipment makes my skin crawl. Their EMF and Sound guys in particular make me scream obscenities when they start talking. The worst was when the guy tried to explain what EMF was and he got it wrong.

          As a scientist I find their blissfull and recklass ignorance of the scientific method to be maddening. Especially since they’re supposedly moonlighting as objective scientists hunting for ghosts.

          My wife loves the show, but knows better than to watch it with me in the house. I tend to foam at the mouth and then require a few house of very violent video games to calm me back down. It’s one thing to kinda know that pseudo science exists, but it’s quite another to have it flaunted at you in a TV show. [/matt]

          I need another cup of coffee… and probably some violent video games now.

          EDIT: NMN: I love Mythbusters but didn’t really respect it scientifically until I watched their “behind the scenes” DVD. I was surprised and impressed with the actual amount of research and science they do before a show. They’ve got a small panel of scientists from various fields who keep them honest, even if the real goal is to make something explode. It made my enjoyment of the show so much deeper when I realized there was a lot of good fundimental science they don’t show on TV because it’s boring, not because it isn’t being done.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          mudslicker permalink

          Oh don’t get me started on my Ghost Hunter guys….I love me some Grant and Jayson…not to be confused by Moe, Larry and Curly from Ghost Adventures. I watch Ghost Adventures merely for the comedy choo-choo wreck that always seems to splatter at just the proper moment.

          Don’t be a Roto-Rooter hater TM….

          😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          TacoMa’am claims to like watching it because Grant and Jayson appear to be rather deep in the closet for each other.

          Whatever that means.

          O:)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Would that be Manhunt 2 violence, or just regular Gears violence?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          Yeah, my “real science” guilty pleasure is Mythbusters, too. Speaking as a person who does not care for the type of movies where lots of stuff blows up, it surprises me that I enjoy watching them blow stuff up too, but the fact that they try to be instructive and don’t hide their enthusiasm for blowing things up is endearing.
          The ghost hunting stuff I find interesting because I have a general belief that there is still stuff in this world that we don’t yet know how to properly measure or understand, but that doesn’t mean it’s supernatural/paranormal. Two hundred years ago, things like a radio or a regular land-line phone might have seemed supernatural, but now we know it isn’t. I’m basically curious to know what it is exactly that they are encountering and recording (if not accurately measuring) and whether it’s something we’ll be able to explain in another 200 years (or, most likely, sooner) through science.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          Deadspace violence more recently, with a bit of New Vegas evil character tossed in for mayhem rather then pure violence.

          And when I’m really in a dark mood, I pull out one of the Hitmans and see if I can clean out a stage and create a body pile.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          @both Typo* and Lola:

          I like blowing up stuff too. Preferably in video games. Especially by shooting cars in Fallout 3 with the 10mm sub machine gun.

          *I’m going to call you Typo from now on, just based on principle.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          mudslicker permalink

          :: ring ring ::

          Rue Paul on line #5 for Taco.

          They only hang out in the closet because that’s where their FLIR camera works the best, silly.

          *ahem*

          And I’m on Lola’s page regarding why I watch anything that will even moderately scare the crap out of me. I hate Mythbusters however, probably because they’re on 24/7 and I think those two guys are a little too Rainbow Brite for each other. They need their own Mythbuster’s channel on cable.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          Mudsy – is “Ghost Adventures” the one with the guys that go in and start screaming at the “entities”?

          If so, that one cracks me up…and mostly because the “leader” is wearing some kind of rooster comb on his head. I’m sorry, but I can’t get past that hair.

          Mythbusters….mmmmmmmmmm….lurrrrrvvv me some…just watched one yesterday where they were growing plants with various stimuli – screaming at them, talking nice, music…etc. to see if talking to your plants really makes them grow better. After all was said and done, it seems plant life on this planet are a bunch of metal-heads. LOL

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          I don’t think Jason and Grant are in the closet, they just enjoy a bromance. I wish they would stay at a place for a week or so. I don’t know why they think a few hours is enough when they disturb the bejeebus out of a place’s energy setting up.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          I thought a significant improvement to the show would be not only to do several nights, but to do the first few nights “cold”. I.E. without any bias as to what they were looking for or where they should be looking.

          That way they could compare their cold data and their hot data and see exactly how mucy bias they’re introducing by being told what ghosts might already be there.

          And just to mix things up, every few episodes toss them a place that has no reputation as being haunted to see if their resultes are statistically different than from places with repute for hauntings.

          Then again, as they’ve been caught faking results a handful of times, I doubt very much that they’ve even considered that blinding a study would be desireable from a respectability standpoint.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          Windrose permalink

          Uh, Tanker? I know you have explained this before, but you just look so naked without the gun and wings.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          Yeah, and I kind of can’t figure out why I am experiencing myself as a quilt square. (And just leave “experiencing myself” alone, you pervs.) Are you? My point was to have my avatar be the cute pink girl elf from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but a green quilt square is festive, too… I guess.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          As soon as you posted that, you turned into a harp-playing elf. It’s a Beesmas miracle!

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          Despite the fact that this thread is long gone from the topic I’m about to address: I love Mythbusters. That will be all.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 6

        Pynchon used to write on graph paper. Just sayin’.

        Adores: 0
  9. 2010 December 6

    So he’s selling Stephen Hawking memorabilia?

    Adores: 5
  10. 2010 December 6
    Windrose permalink

    I have a little quark board,
    I covered it in fluff.
    I always take it with me,
    In case of new, clear stuff.

    Happy No Error Monday, everyone. 8)

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 December 6
      KatyCat permalink

      “No Error Monday”? That means I need to stay home all day!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6

        No Error Monday means never having to say you’re srory.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          I don’t usually say “I’m srory” anyways, Typo.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Bombdude permalink

          ever having to say you’re srory

          Or ever having to ask for giveness…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          mudslicker permalink

          Shouldn’t that be

          …ever having to ask fro ginevess..

          ?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          Happy fro givemas, Mudsy!

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Ever having to ask for Guiness.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          No, Guinness should always simply appear when one wishes for it. 🙂

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          Camille permalink

          On the first day fro givemas my true love gave to me…

          Nah, I think I’ve done this joke to death already.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, given that it’s St Nicholas Day, we ought be in the Czech pivo, like a yummy Urquel.

          But, barring ur-pivo, then, yes, Guinness ought to appear “to need” without need for summonsing. Or, at least until a person wants a McEwen, or a St Andrew’s Stout, that is.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          mudslicker permalink

          I was going to respond to that link TM, but realized my response would be way too far down the line to maintain any continuity. That, and the fact that I suddenly had the urge to scrub the toilet.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Windrose permalink

          Camille, if you have done it to death, then isn’t it a zomb

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          Camille, if you have done it to death, then isn’t it necrophilia nevermind.

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 December 6
      NotMyName permalink

      In case of new, clear stuff

      Exactly what clear stuff are we talking about here? Remember, both Hammy and Taco are here. Think about what they usually talk about.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 December 6

        Yay Glycerin!

        What?

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          I didn’t even have to type anything, and I saw the line running away from me at speed.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6

          The line is a hard on to catch.

          Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6
        Windrose permalink

        New, clear, as opposed to old, cloudy? Off to work for me, then.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Well, that was fun. I glued the wrong comment under the wrong post.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Again.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          Probably not the best way to phrase that given today’s string of glue conversation.

          EDIT: Now you’re making me do it. … er… nevermind.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Okay, let’s do it like this.

          ###########REPLY THREAD SEPARATOR############
          ####EUPHEMISMS ABOUT GLUE BELOW THIS LINE#####

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6
        Mindfield permalink

        Transparent aluminium.

        Well, either that or saliva.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          So…I’m the only person who thought of…something, uhhh, a bit more sticky?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          You mean like Rubber Cement?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Glucose? Peroxide? Saline? Help me out here.

          (Shh…)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          That’s as specific as I’m getting, guys. You know what I’m talking about.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          Bacontini permalink

          Bacontini totally know *wink wink*.

          He talking about Tripple Sugar Iron Agar. Dat stuff pretty sticky if you get it too warm.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          SuperGlue is sticky and clear. If you’re not careful and the tip gets clogged it can spurt out and get all over the place, which is really messy.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          *Sigh*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6

          Wow, that happened to me once, SJ. I squeezed it too hard and spurted super glue all over the carpet. My parents walked in while I was trying to clean it up. Talk about awkward.

          They assured me that it happens to everyone, but that I should put down a towel or something when I want to use glue. Wiping the tip off is also important so that you don’t get anything stuck to it.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          I did not need that visual, Taco.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          I have found that Super Glue is only good for adhering skin to skin…and it works remarkably well at that.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          The trick is not squeezing it too hard right from the get go. Start with light pressure and gradually increase until it starts coming out. Good advice for white glue, mustard, and pepperoni sticks, too.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          I saw what you did there, Typo.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          I have found that Super Glue is only good for adhering skin to skin

          I always found that a candle lit dinner and jewelry works as good…

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 December 6

          See, that’s my problem, MindField. I’m too impatient and tend to just grab it and give it all I’ve got.

          I get done quickly, sure. But I end up spending just as much time on clean up as if I’d just taken my time to do it right.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Well, it’s hard to blame you, really. Gluing is fun! I always look forward to the end of the day when I can go home and get my gluon. The wife keeps complaining though.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          I saw what you did there, Typo.

          Who’s stalking whom now? 8) What were you doing looking in Typo’s bedroom window at his parents’ house, Andie?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          I did not mean to have this discussion started.

          Plus, a “smiley dog” getting his “glue on” is slightly more disturbing than think about Taco’s pixellated avatar getting his “glue on”.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6

          Maybe so, Hammie, I know it doesn’t hurt nearly so much during separation if your methods are applied.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6

          I feel so violated. Here I thought I could glue in the privacy of my own room, but all along somebody has been watching me affix bits of rubbish to paper.

          The world will never be the same for me.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

          Sometimes, I need a visual aid in order to help me “glue”. Anyone else?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          Digrams are helpful for letting you know where to put things.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Well, diagrams are helpful. They help me get a better sense of where to put the glue.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Taco: GET OUT OF MY HEAD. You’re getting glue everywhere.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          CJ: [glue corey] the cyano-acrylics were originally developed as an alternative to sutures for neurosurgery. Which is one of the reasons that they bond skin instantly. Originally, it was thought that using an adhesive would pose less of a barrier for neurons to “re-knit” across. But, advances in microsutures, and letting the tissues simply abut gives a better result.

          In some emergent medical conditions, where one is not allowed, or has no sutures handy, a dab of “super glue” can hold a dermal laceration together rather securely. One should still seek competent medical attention promptly though, despite the opprobrium from the white-coated shamans. (That, and the glue is inflexible, so it “itches” and feels like what it is, a foriegn object lodged in the dermis.)
          [/corey]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ve used SuperGlue on cuts before, if they’re in an awkward place where a band-aid wouldn’t stick. It does itch but better than leaving the wound open.

          TM – If you stick a toothpick in the tip, then it won’t get all crusty and clogged between uses. That’s what my dad does.

          Are you boys going to start swapping schematics now?

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Hopefully you’re talking about a real glue bottle, SJ.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6

          For those of us who want to do some private gluing tonight:

          Glue me

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Conker was made by Nintendo?! It’s quite a bit more…errr…explicit than Pokemon and Mario.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          NMN – Yes, I’m talking about a real glue bottle, I’m not that close to my dad. He did a lot of R/C work when I was younger and always stuck a toothpick in the bottle to keep it clear. Works up a nice mental image though, don’t it? 😉

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6

          No, it does not.

          *wince*

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          *Agrres with Typo*

          Although, there are some people who use…errr…well, I’m sure you know.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          Then I do not recommend that either of you ask Uncle Google about “prince’s wand piercings”, they are decidedly NSFW. (The part of the toothpick is played by a bit of stainless steel, usually attached to a Prince Albert piercing. Kinda like a tiny keychain.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          For the record, I’m sure that most of the guys who comment here can agree with me that nothing pointy, sharp, or metallic belongs in that area.

          Also, I wish I had not read that comment, SJ. It sounds extremely painful.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          You can’t make me google that SJ. So there!

          Nya!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Prince Albert in a man…hood.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m not a guy and I gave a sympathy cringe the first time I stumbled over a photo of one while looking for ear plugs.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          Disturbing case of Life Imitating Snark:

          Today, in music theory, as we were waiting for the lunch bell to ring, I hear the girl sitting two seats over from me and her friend discussing these sorts of piercings in detail I didn’t need to hear right before lunch.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Or, it is yet another omen towards “humanity is doomed” that HS-aged girls are engaging in conversations about that sort of piercing, let alone in detail (whether gleaned from the internet or not . . . )

          Adores: 0
  11. 2010 December 6


    Old M. Gell-Mann had a board
    I-oh I-oh-on
    And on this board he had some quarks
    I-oh I-oh-on
    With a charm one here
    And a strange one there

    Here and up, there a down
    Everywhere some hadrons
    Old M. Gell-Mann had a board
    I-oh I-oh-on

    Adores: 14
  12. 2010 December 6
    Mindfield permalink

    “You did what?” professor Barc asked with what Gerb thought was entirely too much incredulity.
    Gerb sighed and checked his impatience. “I made a quarkboard.”
    Professor Barc stared gaping and motionless at him as though he’d just transformed into a talking duck.
    Gerb raised an eyebrow.
    The professor worked his mouth soundlessly.
    Gerb frowned.
    Professor Barc raised a finger skyward.
    Gerb frowned and raised an eyebrow.
    “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” the professor asked at length, his tone quiet but deliberate.
    Gerb rolled his eyes. “I made a quarkboard. Were you not just listening?”
    “Yes, I heard you,” the professor responded. “What I was asking was if you fully appreciate what it is you have accomplished here.”
    “Well, of course I do.” Gerb said patiently. “I have accomplished the task of making a bloody quarkboard.”
    “How can you be so damn cavalier about this? You’ve stabilized quark gluon plasma and turned it into a solid state!” The professor seemed agitated for some reason.
    “Yes,” Gerb said.
    “For the sole purpose of tacking things to it!” Professor Barc was almost shouting now.
    “Yeeees,” Gerb drew out the word, hoping the professor would get to whatever point it was he was trying to make.
    Professor Barc spread his arms, opened his mouth wider, and shook his head back and forth, while he leaned slightly closer in a manner which suggested that Gerb should clearly think this was far more exciting than it was. It was just a quarkboard.
    “And?” Gerb prompted.
    The professor gestured frantically to the board, then to Gerb, then to the board again, then back to Gerb. “How?
    “The LHC,” Gerb responded as though speaking to a toddler. “Turned it on, got the plasma all good and soupy, collected it, let it cool, and made a board out of it.”
    The professor shook his head vigorously. “Okay, okay. This is ridiculous. We’re getting nowhere. Alright, fine, tell me, then, why don’t you have anything pinned to it?”
    “It has a tendency to make anything I try to tack to it break down at the atomic level.” Gerb explained. “I realize that isn’t very desirable behaviour in a note board, but think I can fix that.”
    The professor stared at him with that same dumbfounded expression. “Then … how did you get that aluminum frame around it?”
    “Magnets,” Gerb said simply.
    Professor Barc’s face could have been collected in a bucket as he slowly began to shake his head in an increasingly wider arc. “You’re the janitor!
    “Waste technician, if you please,” Gerb corrected.
    The professor stared at him silently for several more moments before he turned with exaggerated slowness on one heel and walked back out whence he came, gesticulating wildly and muttering to himself in a high pitched tone.
    “Scientists,” Gerb said with an eye roll as he stooped to sweep up the line of dirt he had made before being interrupted, opened the lid to a nearby canister, and dumped his duspan into the singularity within.

    Adores: 13
    • 2010 December 6

      Haha, the last bit makes me think of the “waste engineer” guy from Dilbert :-p

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 December 6
        Mindfield permalink

        I was thinking more of that Bloom County strip where Opus gets a job.

        [Opus]: I’m a “Waste-management artisan”
        [Milo]: Right. A Garbageman.
        [Opus]: What is it that Reagan called arms-sales to the Contras again?
        [Milo]: (looking deflated) Goodwill gifts.
        [Opus]: (grinning) I’m a waste-management artisan.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          Elebenfinity adores for the story AND the Bloom County reference.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 December 6
      Dan permalink

      Mindfield, are you SURE you’re not actually Terry Pratchett?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6
        Mindfield permalink

        While I have visited Ankh-Mopork (which I understand they have since renamed to Minneapolis-St. Paul) I’m fairly certain that Pratchett and I are separate entities, or at least as separate as quantum mechanics allows. I appreciate the comparison though, and will grant that someday we will share a striking resemblance in that eventually we will both be dead.

        Adores: 5
  13. 2010 December 6
    Litarider permalink

    You mean this wasn’t the big NASA announcement last week?

    At least we can look forward to a They Might Be Giants song about quark boards.

    Adores: 4
  14. 2010 December 6

    The last time someone sold a pair of quarks on the internet, Ewan McGregor blew up the Vatican.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 6
      AndieJD permalink

      Huh. I’m reading that book right now, coincidentally. Guess I don’t have to finish it now.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6
        sarajean80 permalink

        And Rosebud was the name of his sled!

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          I wish someone had told me Rosebud was the frakking sled before I wasted over an hour of my life watching that movie. It’s supposed to be a classic and spectacular. There must be something wrong with me because I thought it was lousy. Last year, we grew some tomato plants in containers. We went out of town for a 4 day weekend and when we left the plants were beautiful and bushy with lots of green tomatoes and a few that were starting to pink. When we returned, the plants looked like skeletons with tons of ugly, fat green hornworms coating them.

          Anyway, that story has nothing to do with anything except that thinking about all the rotten tomatoes that “Citizen Kane” deserves made me think about those poor plants. I’d rather spend a couple hours again dancing on the tomato-reek of squashed hornworms than to have to ever repeat my viewing of “Citizen Kane.”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          Windrose permalink

          Ed, I wish wish we lived closer to each other. My bearded dragon loves tomato worms. Nom nom nom. Happy Lizard!

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 December 6

        Sorry. Guess I should have put in a spoiler alert.

        I’m probably one of the rare people who saw “50 First Dates” before I’d ever seen “The Sixth Sense” so I know exactly how you feel.

        Of course the book doesn’t mention McGregor at all so maybe I’m still in the clear. I should have said, “…Obi-Wan blew up the Vatican” just to be safe

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          No worries, Ed – unless you are stalking me and knew that I was reading that book. (In which case, if you’re gonna be out in the yard anyway, could you do a little weeding?) You really didn’t say anything that gives the twist away, but since there is no one else in the book that could be played by Ewan McGregor, well…
          Here, would you like to borrow my copy of Gone with the Wind? It’s a great movie – some classic scenes you’ll never forget. AND RHETT LEAVES SCARLETT AT THE END AND SAYS A BAD WORD ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          LimeLolly permalink

          And EBENEZER SCROOGE BECOMES A MODEL OF GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 7
          AndieJD permalink

          Ed, who’s the sailor in your other avatar? I have always thought he’s cool.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 December 7
          Windrose permalink

          Dang it, LL! I was going to watch that movie next weekend!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 7

          A slightly younger (ha, who am I kidding… a 20 year younger) me is the sailor in my other avatar.

          Adores: 0
  15. 2010 December 6

    I think I understand that diagram. It’s a state of matter in which the most populous cities favor Republicans over Democrats while rural areas unanimously vote for the Green party. Fascinating indeed!

    Adores: 5
  16. 2010 December 6
    tigprincess permalink

    experimenting to see if I get Bad Request

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 6
      Bacontini permalink

      Hey pretty lady, wanna rearrange de alphabet and put me and you together?

      Bacontini not get it. Fakintini told him de chatup line is fail-proof but it makes no sense.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 December 6
        Lola permalink

        Awww, Bacontini, it’s all right. Have a wee sip of yourself and you’ll feel better.

        Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 6

      How about a bad answer?

      Pecil!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 6
        mudslicker permalink

        My Chrome has foresaken me! I cleared everything out of cache and history and today I still got a 400 Bad Request smackdown.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          This is not what I wanted to hear — we moved EVERYTHING trying to figure out what was going on.

          Seems lots of people using Chrome have problems. I’ve done some testing on Chrome and haven’t had the problems, so I don’t know if that’s really it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          I know I’ve never mentioned this before, but I’m using IE7 and I have only gotten an error message once. Don’t know what that means or if it helps.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          So the 400 bad request is 95% of the time a client problem…
          (A lot of times it’s caused by having several web browsers installed)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          I’m using FF and IE7, totally cannot access with FF but IE7 has been stable today – watch now I will have jinxed myself.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          I only have one web browser installed.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6

          drmk – I did a little digging via Uncle Google and one site for WP support said it may have to do with the daily stats plug-in. Have you tried disabling that? There’s a workaround for it, too, but it’d probably be best to rule it out first if you haven’t already.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, multiple browsers cannot be the only answer–my tablet PC has the FF & IE couplet aboard, just like my main desktop (if in differing Releases). The tablet has been hugely stable, only ever getting the one, and one only, 400 error, and that on FF, which did not reoccur firing up IE right after that. Now, the tablet runs XP Tablet, a version of Pro, that is both fish and fowl.

          But, the old destop runs both FF & IE, and under Win98SE SPIII–if a 400 crops up, it needs a CCLeaner run to “cure” it (if I do not just go try a different computer). Have not needed to try the old laptop which only has IE6 on Win98SE.

          What has seemed to be the case, though, is router congestion. If one of the nodes in the web is having throughput issues, we are more likely to see 400 errors. Since that is in the routing, the host would not see the error. I’ve not had access to enough bots to ping enough nodes to test this, though.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          I have tried disabling the stats plugin (the one I use is called “WordPress.com Stats”). I’m willing to try disabling it again, but it didn’t seem to make a difference the first time I did it.

          Adores: 1
  17. 2010 December 6
    AndieJD permalink

    OK, so… Take one quarkboard, divide by zero-

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 December 6
      Camille permalink

      I hate it when that happens. Whose turn is it to rescue Andie from the infinite void?

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 6

        I think we need some quark suckers to retrieve her…

        What?

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get the singularity in the center of a quark sucker?

          Well let’s see. One-

          *Somewhere deep in space millions of years later*

          Hey look, another star just winked out. Been a lot of that going on tonight for some reason.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6

          Are you winking at that quark sucker again?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          Typo has a thing for black holes.

          (…and the line was never heard from again.)

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 December 6
        AndieJD permalink

        Send Ewan McGregor, please.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          kelli permalink

          Sorry Anide, but the Llamanun (BBUH) has him, you’ll have to settle for someone else. I think we have a few Hughs available.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          If no Ewan, what about Clive Owen?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          kelli permalink

          I’m even sorry that I scrambled your name into Anide, Andie. Can I blame that hole of color?

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          African-American hole, if you please.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          kelli permalink

          And if I don’t please?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 December 6

          ♫ We are Siamese if you don’t please. ♫

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          If you don’t please, men will call you bad names out of spite and cerulean gonads.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          Tonight at the 40 Watt: Cerulean Gonads.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          If no Ewan, what about Clive Owen?

          Oh, yes, Lola, he should do nicely. Thank you.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          I do believe it’s my week to rescue snarkers from the Infinite Void, thank you. **indignant pivot on one heel accompanied by a playful wink in Andie’s direction.** You know what they say. What happens in the infinite void stays in the infinite void.

          Adores: 6
  18. 2010 December 6
    NotMyName permalink

    This is completely OT, but I have to share.

    Out of curiousity, I looked up one of my favorite authors, David Weber, on Wikipedia. I wanted to see if there was a projected date for the next book in his “Safehold” series. According to wiki, the fourth book (which I have not read) came out in April.

    So, in conclusion, I need to get to a library or Barnes & Noble. Woo Hoo!

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 6
      Windrose permalink

      That was my Saturday. Went to the Library, got a slip that would give a percentage of my B&N purchase to the Library, went to B&N and bought Christmas Presents. And helped my local library. Very cool.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 December 6
      CoffDrop permalink

      NMN – Reviews, and price for hard copy and even Kindle of David Weber’s A Mighty Fortress (Safehold Book 4)…….

      Adores: 2
  19. 2010 December 6
    christina permalink

    I’ve started and stopped reading today’s post about 100 times and I keep getting interrupted so nothing is sticking, science or joke. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I get home to join the party.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 6

      nothing is sticking

      Try some of Taco’s superglue?

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 December 6
        AndieJD permalink

        NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6
          Windrose permalink

          Feel me.
          Glue me.
          Touch me.
          Glue me.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 6
          Mr. Winkey permalink

          How about all three? *wink*

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 December 6
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, I was distracted by the folks from the gas company digging up the yard as they had found a couple leaks.

      Fascinating to watch them run poly tubing through the old iron/galvanized pipe, from the plumbing aspect of it (plumbing being one of my trades in the quivver). Was handy, as they were digging where the water people had a couple years ago, so I actually knew were what they were digging for was located.

      Adores: 0
  20. 2010 December 6

    Of all the things you could usefully make a notice board out of, why quark? You’d have to spread it out and freeze dry it before you could get it into a frame, for a start. And even then, no matter what you cover it with, it’s going to be pretty smelly once it starts to go off. Especially if it’s the garlic and herbs variety, and not just the plain quark. And how do you get the pins to stay in?

    No, I’m just not seeing it. Full marks for effort and imagination, of course, but minus several thousand for practical application.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 6
      CoffDrop permalink

      Ratty, I’m pretty sure sparky meant Cork board……..

      Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 6
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’m gonna guess quark is some sort of charming British slang for something else, possibly cheese?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 December 6

        Or dinosaurs.

        But we’re big on dinosaurs in my house lately, so maybe that’s just me.

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 December 6
        NotMyName permalink

        What is tall, computer-generated, and covered in green spandex?

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          Whatever it is, it’s sleeping outside.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Oh, I forgot not-too-bright.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6

          the Hulk?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Stephanae probably knows.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          AndieJD permalink

          I give up, NMN.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 December 6
          NotMyName permalink

          Fine, but I’m not linking to an image, if you want to see what he looks like you have to look him up.*

          Captaaaaaaain Quaaaaaaark!!!

          *I’m afraid to.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6
          Mindfield permalink

          My stunt double.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 6

          A 35″ x 23″ quark…Quarkzilla!!!!!!!!!!!

          Subatomic Tokyo, shaken it’s very spatially extended mathematical concept by the rampaging Quarkzilla, mounts a counter attack aimed at disrupting the monsters p-brane activity. Ultimately entangling the creature in a zero dimensional super string mesh! *

          *Hows that for mixing unified meta-theories?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 6
          Lola permalink

          Hmmm, pretty sure I saw that on MST3K, Hammy.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 December 6
        Dan permalink

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quark_%28cheese%29

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 6

          Quark is good, I usually have it with my apple pion and wash it down with some ice cold lepton tea.

          Adores: 2
  21. 2010 December 6
    Limelolly permalink

    I tried to make my own quark boards, but those buggers were too fast for me. So now I just use post it notes and duct tape.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 6
      Mindfield permalink

      I made my own quarkboard once, but it fell down, and while I knew how quickly it dropped, I couldn’t see where it went.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 December 6

      I built a house from quark board once, but this pesky stuffed hawk kept showing up in random places, so I had to sell the place.

      Adores: 2
  22. 2010 December 6

    well judging by the diagram, you make quark boards by dividing dandelions

    (that’s all I got. still recovering from the flu)

    Adores: 2
  23. 2010 December 6
    christina permalink

    Well, I ended up having a rather productive day both at work and at home, but I missed out on some stellar snark. Sure, in the grand scheme of things it’s probably good that we finished some of the housework, but the workday time I spent working instead of snarking smarts.

    Adores: 3
  24. 2010 December 6
    Windrose permalink

    Anyone notice there’s a dalek in the box? Just me? Okay, carry on, then.

    Adores: 2
  25. 2010 December 6
    Lola permalink

    You’re right! The tutu threw me at first.

    And because no one has said it – the titular Timbuk3 reference makes me think, in hindsight, that we should have been wearing shades not because the future was so bright but instead to blunt the trauma.
    /Gen-X curmudgeonliness

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 December 7
      Windrose permalink

      *nods in sage agreement, while trying to understand*

      Adores: 2
  26. 2010 December 7
    Windrose permalink

    Laurel, wherever the hach you are, Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Geneva!

    Adores: 3
  27. 2010 December 7
    tigprincess permalink

    test to see if the Bad Problem has gone

    Adores: 1
  28. 2010 December 8

    So close!

    I study nuclear science
    I love my classes
    I’ve got a crazy teacher
    Who wears dark glasses

    Adores: 1

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