YSaC, Vol. 879: Six Alphabet Fractions Are Mildy Frustrating
2010 December 13
swm iso safamf – 51
i would like to establish a LTR with a 35-55 year old mentally and phsiically stable safamf. having children is ok.
While I appreciate the importance of stability in setting up a Service Availability Forum Application Management Framework, I think an uptime in the 35-55 year range is a little unrealistic. After all, even though the SAF is focused on providing reliable service, they’ve only been around since 2002. I suppose you could try to implement their proposals on a PDP-11 or something, but I’m not sure how far you’d get.
Thanks for the conundrum, fallinghawks!
I had thought that SAF was “single Asian female” but SAFAMF sounds like “single asian female asian male female” … one of those, of any age, with or without children, seems like a difficult description to fit … if one is not in Thailand. *ew*
I hate to be a wet blanket early in the morning, but isn’t it just “single African-American female”?
Maybe it’s Single African-French-American Female Mother?
Very likely … though that’s not an abbreviation for it that I have seen. Either the specification is spelled out (“African”) or it is implied by national/ethnic origin, e.g., Jamaican, Dominican, etc., or the person simply uses the word “black.”
If we go with the possibility that not every letter is a word, he could be looking for a safe armadillo farm or a saffron amortization foundry.
Socially Awkward Female Aardvark Milk Fiend?
I can honestly say that never once has my brain ever formulated the concept of aardvark milk. I never even thought of female aardvarks as being milk producers.
But then admittedly, I don’t think much about aardvarks.
Perhaps Sparky is just highly politically correct Lola? And of course stupid as a rock.
I think that’s very Rockist of you to say Lara. We prefer “Of the same intellectual quality as mineral based objects” here in the PC world.
And how should our Mac users say it?
Same way, but with a degree of smugness and a turtleneck.
Apple users will need the keystroke combination of
(RH)ALT+DEL+PrSCN+F7+~(LH Shift)
No so. There’s an app for that.
Is ‘phsiically’ a mis-spelling of psychically? It can be real pain having a girlfriend prone to spontaneous telekinesis and/or spirit manifestations.
Not if, per a few days ago on here, it’s a succubus!
Man, am I glad I got my hookered on phonics tapes…
Lemmmee tranzlate:
safmf=saffamofo
Yur welkumm.
Single Asian Female Acting Man Friend
Duh….
Damn, being put in the friend category right off the bat really sucks. And being put there by a craigslist add is doubly harsh.
Especially to start a LTR
(unless a Loan against Trust Receipts in meant)
Here’s (too many) meanings for: “LTR”
Most interesting on that list: Lady To Ride. Really, there’s a need for this to be an acronym? I’m sure glad I haven’t the need to decipher CL personal ads.
I have no idea what Sparky is looking for.
It doesn’t look like he’s too certain about it himself.
He figures if he’s as vague as possible, there’s a higher chance of *someone* answering the ad.
Sparky has managed to realize by now that he can’t afford to be picky.
So, ISO SAFAMF is presumably a new international standard using acronyms now instead of numbers, and even further the ISO seems now to be the standards body responsible for registering human personality types. In this case it looks like this is a single white male who has been registered as a certified Standard for Alienating Friends, Acquaintances, Males and Females.
With that bit of disclosure he’s looking to establish a Lead Technology Representative with someone who is somewhere in the range of middle-aged who is mentally and psychically and/or physically handy and stable with a Wii-mote. Also, he’d just like to note for no particular reason that, in the abstract, having children is alright, so, y’know, whoever is into that is welcome to continue having them. That’s OK by him. *thumbs up*
I am really glad that Sparky generally gives a thumbs up to kids. I was planning to do that eventually and it would have tortured me to know Sparky might disapprove.
Well, Sparky IS certified at alienating a wide range of people, and it looks like he’s done a fine job with you, so maybe his approval holds some weight after all.
“I don’t care what Sparky thinks.”
“You should, he knows what he’s doing when it comes to being condescending.”
“He’s a douche.”
“But he’s a certified douche.”
“I guess you have a point.”
Well, is better than South Asian Female American Methodist Friar–not sure how the facny jacket would suit a sari.
They say that achieving your ISO SAFAMF certification is very difficult. But if you can figure out how to use the Load Task Register (LTR) with your Framework, you’ve already surmounted the hardest obstacle. The rest is just a matter of bribing the right inspector.
I’m accepting donations. We don’t have to call it a bribe.
In SAFAMF, hardest obstacle surmounts you.
Is that even legal?
It is if you’re Ed.
Unless he’s in Delaware. They frown upon that sort of thing.
I’m not in Delaware, but after watching Pumpkin Chunking on Discovery yesterday, I want to go.
Delaware is not a long or wide state. I’m waiting for the day they chunk the pumpkin into the next state (PA, NJ, MD) or the Atlantic, depending on direction of the (?) cannon and/or wind assistance.
You know, when I was in college and the neighbors made one of those for launching potatoes – we referred to them as “spud guns” – it was frowned upon and the authorities were called. What a difference 15+ years and additional cable channels make.
Poor Sparky. He doesn’t know what he wants, we don’t know what he wants, and it’s so sad. There could be a SAFAMF right here, posting on YSaC, a lonely person with children who are okay, but who would like to have a LTR. Or a card, even. And it’s the Holiday season, so they need a Chrismas miracle to get them all together. It would be the best Family Movie of the Year!
Coffee slices, anyone?
I have no idea what you just said, Windy, except for the bit at the end about coffee … regarding which I will, thank you.
I’ll take a couple coffee slices too. Apparently during my absence I forgot that I really can’t read the daily snark before I’ve had some coffee.
I think I need a few slices myself. After a fun, yet exhausting weekend of gaming and chasing Tron around, I seem to have lost my snark.
Yes, coffee please; and a miracle.
Ditto the caffeine. I was up till 2:30 waiting on confirmation that MrEB got to Boston and settled in safely. Bridgete, if you see him wandering around the streets, wave!
Caffeination update*: Doubled my caffeine intake in hopes of not falling asleep at work. 3:30 pm here, so the whole falling-asleep-at-night thing might be comprimised….
*Breaking news! Unless you don’t particularly care. Which is likely all of you. :-p
*waves at Mr. EB*
What Lola said. Make mine double crunchy.
Yeah, I think I’m in need of a double-strength slice with some cream spread. Though this cold has been short-lived, it was a wild, angry honey badger during its stay. Now that I am recuperating my intake of coffee slices needs a dramatic boost.
Captn — could you tell me what Windy just said?
Exegis:
Poor Sparky.
Sparky is deserving of pity.
He doesn’t know what he wants, we don’t know what he wants, and it’s so sad.
The perils of an under-examined life and over-rated communications skills will not overcome un-earned “self esteem” and are deserving of pity.
There could be a SAFAMF right here, posting on YSaC,
“[T]he poor, you will always have among you.”
a lonely person with children who are okay,
“If it saves one child…”
but who would like to have a LTR.
And who among us does not appreciate a letter every now and again? (other than bills, dunning notices, declarations for disconnection, harassment by collection agencies, etc.)
[That, and it is highly unlikely WR is suggesting a Light Tactical Raft, even were she typing from the Littoral Expeditionary School there across the bay on Coronado.]
Or a card, even.
Postcards, the red-headed stepchild of snail mail.
And it’s the Holiday season, so they need a Chrismas miracle to get them all together.
Or a Festivus miracle, if they are to survive the Feats of Strength and Aiting of Grievances.
It would be the best Family Movie of the Year!
Do they still show sappy, saccharine, inanities on tv any more? Cable has been disconnected a month now, all I get is the one PBS station.
Coffee slices, anyone?
A generous and meritorious gestrure of godwill and bonhommie to improve not only one’s perception of self, but to also reinforce the group identity dynamic. Further to enrich through sharing; a consummate espression of fully-realized humanity.
Any of that help any?
Thank you so much, that makes it so much clearer.
Don’t worry Windy, I feel safe in guessing there is nothing that Sparky might be looking for here.
You think so, Lara? Okay, that makes me feel better. 8) Who had the coffee slice with the extra spice Chris?
Spice Chris? Are we out of the real stuff?
Eggnog slice with extra spice Chris[t]? I don’t do coffee but some rummy eggnog flan would go down a treat today.
DSL went out on Friday — no dial tone. Still out. AT&T claims they should be out sometime “before the end of Monday” to fix it.
All weekend, no internet. On the upside, I got a LOT of cleaning done for my mother-in-law’s visit. On the downside, the hubby didn’t help much due to pain which, while I understand, still makes me feel grumpy and put-upon.
You know what? To hell with the beverage slices. I need the flask.
I’d like a slice, please, Windy, but hold the Chris. It’s Monday and I am in no mood.
*tops up flask*
*passes flask*
All yours, Moira.
Bless you, Lola!
I just may get through this (next three) week(s) yet.
I prefer my swm safamf to be ssdf and BVN, they also need to fixee.ee bikess.sss.
what about the DMV?
And the XYZ PDQ. That’s always super important.
If you fixee.ee.dee.bikess.ss right, you don’t need no steeenkeeen DMV.
But keep it on the DL.
A few turns at the Random Letter Sequence Generator should clear up any questions about Sparky’s post…….
Thanks CoffDrop — now I know how my son comes up with those “unusual spellings” of words.
I reely doughn’t knoh wat ur tawking abowt.
Exactly
The euphemism down here so you don’t wound their inner illiterate is “Creative Spelling”. Hey, everybody gets a trophy.
Safamf= sack of anteaters full of amphetamines making falafel.
Anteaters make terrible falafel, with or without amphetamines. I don’t mean to generalize and all, but seriously, anteaters should just stick to what they know: Fried chicken made with 11 herbs and species.
Oooooh…and the delicious gravy that slathered onto the awful taters. Maybe if they had the amphetamines the taters would taste better?
And slightly OT…
My local Anteater KFC-SAFAMF was always running out of…chicken. So, at any given time your chat with the big red speaker/box/alien might go like this:
ME: I’ll take the number (1,2,3..whatever) with..umm.
BOX: Sorry, but we’re out of chicken…
*crickets chirp*
ME: That’s okay, I can wait a few minutes…
BOX: No, I mean we are OUT of chicken…
ME: You mean “out” as in there is no more and never will be?
BOX: Yes, ma’am.
*crickets chirp*
ME: This is a “chicken” place, right? Right? Hellloooooooo?
BOX: *crickets chirp*
Needless to say, said establishment has gone out of business. Shocking, I know.
How does that even happen? The word chicken is right there in the name of the restaurant. It’s not like it was a Pizza Hut or a Bob’s House of Kabobs.
Happens all the time at the one next to our building, too.
If that happened at my job, heads would roll. Of course, I work at a bank and people tend to react to banks running out of money in a negative fashion.
Well, if the store manager and/or franchise owner do not properly inform Yum Corp., the truck with the froxen product does not stop off and deliver enough boxes to go in the walk-in freezer there at the back of the store.
Well, next worst thing in Banking is if the bonds the bank is vested in are de-rated; this seems to also make for crankiness.
Capn, what’s with the incognito? Did your avatar get foreclosed on when your snark account was overdrawn over the weekend? :-p
Much crankiness and often the calling of unpleasant names. That’s when I have to trot out the old “Banks are not magical money factories” talk.
Our local KFC once ran out of chicken.
We haven’t had KFC since, I think.
Must…stop…thinking…of…possible…words…to…fit…letters…
**Warning. Inner core processor is at an unsafe temperature. Meltdown imminent. You now have ten seconds to reach minimum safe distance**
**Warning. Inner core procsdj furffdjkoJ nNn ZzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Safari Animals Find Apple Munching Fairy
Skilled Anarchist Foils Atheist Meeting Fire
Struggling Actor Finishes Another Meager Film
Thanks TankerAndie. Now I’m doing it.
Seriously Anorexic Fluglebinding Aflac Mixing Freeloaders
Samoyed Akita Funhouse Anarchy Mai-Tai Frontage
Stop Annoying Fubar’d Anachronistic Madness Forthwith
Someone Abscond Friend Apple Mac Fast
Silly Amazon Finding Allegory Making Fun
Someone Announce Finish Amalgamation Mightily Furniture
Danger Will Robinson! My sensors indicate imminent overload of vital circuit….
Silly, Amazing Female And Male Friends
Slightly Audible Ferrous Animal Magnet (Fantastic!)
Wait, I think I’m trying to make too much sense with the first one…
Sigh….new error today, “502 Bad Gateway”, and right after I’d written a witty comment in reply to sarajean.
Grrrrrrrr……..
CJ, for some reason, I first read that as “Bad Getaway.”
That would be if you robbed a bank and then tried to make your escape in a Prius.
I’ve often thought a hot air balloon would make the perfect getaway vehicle. Think about it; if an eyewitness told you “The robber got in a balloon and floated away” you would not believe them.
Up, up and awaa-aa-aaay in my beautiful balloon!
I got that one last week, I think. It was sad.
Did you try to cheer it up?
Cap’n, get dressed! There could be children about.
Reporting for the record, after refresh (and nothing else): “502 Bad Gateway – nginx” occurrence, 2:18 p.m., Monday, 13 December, PC with IE 8.0.6 etc.
Yeah, I got it too.
Ditto.
I got one yesterday but was too lazy to say anything about it.
Misssed me; but, I’m still using 2.25 to 2.8 computers right now roto-rootering out malware, too.
Mmmm… roto-rooters….
No errors yet, but I’m having adores reset every time I refresh. I promise not to abuse my power, but some folks may get a little extra love if I forget that I already doored them.
Splendid Archaeologist Feeling A Mite Forlorn.
(That actually describes my hubby, out of work :-()
Though in fact there’s no such thing as a mentally and physically stable archaeologist.
So if he’s mentally stable, then he apt to go out of phase at any moment?
Only if you take what he says out of context.
ToBScholarly is IN THE BOX with Chris. Congratulations!
In other news. Cap’n Mac was seen wandering around the Snark Lounge wearing only a quilt square. No film.
Hey, Capn! There’s a new career field you could explore. (At least I’m assuming making pron films would be new for you.)
Quilt square pr0n. Well, now I’ve said it, it must exist.
I’m sure quilter’s pr0n was already out there.
My mother quilts. She is also the type who frowns on any type of pr0n or even potential pron (or even people in skimpy bikinis, for that matter).
Ergo, christina, forget the brain bleach, I’m going to have to take it out, and boil the brain in it while rinsing my cranium with some already-boiling bleach, because in my mind, the words “quilting” and “porn” cannot exist side by side without danger of an aneurysm.
I googled for quilt pron and the first page of links was all elaborate and gorgeous quilts. The closest any of the links came to anything of a less than pure-as-the-driven-snow nature was a quilt done as a celebration of the little blue pill. I had to read all the comments, though, to even realize that’s what it was.
So, Lola, “quilt pron” apparently means something different to (most) quilters than we might think.
LOVE the phoenix in this one. (totally safe link)
Moira, I’m going to take your word for it, and be glad that, for however long, rule 34 has yet to make it into that quarter.
Yay! This is my first punch ever! I feel so honored!
I would like to thank the academy, the llamanun…
I thought if I ever got into the box (check THAT off the 100 Things to Do Before I Die list), I would feel so much snarkier. In all honesty, I don’t feel very clever. Are we sure that isn’t a pity in-the-box?
You’ve been in there before, ToBScholarly — I’m sure of it!
Mind you, I have no actual proof of this, but I’m still sure of it.
Don’t say that. Then I will be forced to go back through every day’s thread since I began stalking posting to see if this was truly the case.
EDIT: Never mind, I just realized that the box stays the same regardless of the post being looked at.
I AM IMMORTAL!
For today.
You deserve it too, ToB.
Chris on cracker, indeed.
Buckle up and don’t forget to get to bring your card. Windrose has a wicked left hook.
We can ask the great and mighty Windrose, who took on the job of Keeping Track of Such Things all by herself, and has done a spectacular job of Keeping Track of Such Things since appointing herself the Person Who Keeps Track of Such Things, for which we are eternally grateful.
Is there some special way upon which we beseech her? With that many capital letters in her title, I figured there might be.
Perhaps you could offer her feathers? But not in a jar. Preferably attached to a bird, and not an ex-one, either.
Bird and a slice of coffee?
No, no, don’t give me the bird. 8) Oh, you mean a REAL bird! That’s fine. A female canary, please.
ToB, I know you have been in the box before, I remember whining about you not showing up the next day to see that you had been in the box. I’m, er, running my collection program now, I’ll have the date for you soon. Very. Soon.
Just a sanity check – is the style sheet turned off or is my browser wonky?
It looks fine to me,
crazy ladyMoira.For extra insanity… listen to ‘Les Miserables’ and ‘Phantom of the Opera’ music while reading YSaC.
In my head, everyone on YSaC sounds different now.
Limelolly, that makes me want to burst into song!
Do you hear the Sparkies post?
Posting the ads they don’t post well?
It is the music of a people
Who do not know how to spell!
When the fuzzy photographs
Echo ideas that are so dumb,
There is a snark about to start
When tomorrow comes!
Wish I could throw extra doors for that one, Camille.
Brava Camille.
*Throws a musical door*
I threw an extra door at Camille for you, Moira. It was only one extra, that’s not abusing my powers yet, is it?
Home computer has style sheet goodness (and DSL now, too) so it’s just the work computer that’s being …odd… about this site.
But it’s only 3 days ’til MIL so back to cleaning!
Moira, either you have a big house, or a REALLY clean one. Quit now. Before your MIL gets here, go do something really naughty to her son. **wink wink**
Small house but VERY cluttered. I have pack-rat and procrastination tendencies which overran several rooms. Stacks of old mail, magazines, books and DVDs which never got properly put back, craft things left here and there, computer bits from our many upgrades, electronics cables, etc, etc, etc…
So, old bills properly recycled. Books and DVDs put away in the cabinet I was given last year (but didn’t put together because there was stuff where it needed to go). Craft things confined in plastic bins. Working but unneeded electronics donated. Old clothing donated.
Still need to scrub a floor or two and clean stuff out of the laundry room. Gather old purses for donation. Finish gathering e-waste and take it to work.
I also have grand plans for the eventual movement of some of our furniture for greater utility but that may not happen this week.
The one room I refuse to touch is the kitchen. Most of the mess in there is the hubby’s. Except the pantry. I am going to clean out the pantry tomorrow after our bins are empty again.
Anagram fun!
swm iso safamf
—————–
Amass Miffs Ow – an accumulation of small hurts
Maims Saws Off – redundant
Amiss Swam Off – feeding the sharks
Swami Mass Off – too much sitting, not enough exercise
A Maw Offs Miss – young lady eaten by a bear
A Ass Miffs Mow – offensive donkey
Am Saw Off Isms – no more politics
Ma Swam Off Sis – add a comma, and that’s actually a real sentence!
Without a comma, it could still be a real sentence albeit a terribly odd one.
It’s even more odd without the comma. Is Sis an island? If so, why? She’s that big? She’s that independent? Has Mom been upon Sis in the water and now she has vacated Sis by swimming off? Was this a game of water chicken or was Mom committing a nefarious deed?
This has been bothering me off and on (mostly off) all day: re: headline: “Mildy”? Is that a real word, or did the Llamanun (BBUH) slip it in to see if we were paying attention (because the Llamanun (BBUH) does not make typos)?
Shucks, Lola beat me to it.
Mildy: it’s the viking form of ‘my lady’, right ?
Snort.
The Llamanun does not make typos.
The ostrimu, however, does.
She has to be physically and mentally stable, but socially, financially and emotionally she can be as crazy as they come?
I don’t know who is around right now, but one of the most spectacular meteor showers of the year is happening right now. It is 2315, I have a streetlight screwing up my field of vision, and I have still seen 8 in about 10 minutes of viewing. They will be in the NE part of the sky. Happy viewing, and dress warm!
Smedley, where are you?
L.A. Lower Alabama. It should be visible all over the U.S.
Out of the Constellation Geminii.
Espied a couple even in the city loom. Will be driving the wrong way to appreciate them tonight, too. <sigh>
Ooooo, I always forget about those until it’s too late! Maybe I can see something from my backyard…
ToBScholarly, raise your right hand, and try to block this! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Boston!