YSaC, Vol. 889: Gotta have that funk!
Wanted: A few pair of funky, sweaty, salty socks
I auction stuff on ebay and because I’m a single woman of course I do not have any stiff, used, smelly men’s socks on hand.
Please, if you workout or have a job resulting in footwear in the above-stated condition, consider donating a few pairs to me so I can earn some needed extra $$.
Here’s an example of what my auction would look like:
[ebay link redacted]
It would be GREAT if you could also send me a few pictures of you wearing the socks!
Socks.
Jocks.
Jocks in socks.
Jocks in socks lift weights of blocks.
Jocks in socks sell socks to chicks in frocks.
Chicks in frocks sell socks of jocks to purchase stocks.
Who sent the link at which we take ganders?
Why, that would, of course, be our friend Sanders.
Thanks Sanders, thanks, for the post about socks!
And I’ve completely avoided rhyming socks with cocks.
Oh, damn it.
She’s from the school of hard knocks.
Her favorite bagel spread is lox.
She once had chicken pox.
It’s the athlete she mocks.
She met him down by the docks.
I think any of these is a decent jumping off point.
Blech!
I’ll be back after I get over the gag factor. I mean really… have you smelled some people’s feet? Here, take a whiff of mine. Er, um, I mean, bye.
I was wondering what was causing my monitor to short out.
Snow… pretty sure it’s the weather that causes shorts. And swimsuits.
Nice Llama-nun – Bees Be Upon Her. I immediately thought of Dr. Seuss. But all things considered, this would have to be Dr. Scholl’s……..
Also, I am getting a distinct whiff of incarcerated woman here.
Maybe it’s a contest to see how many idiots will actually send in pictures of themselves in athletic socks.
There it is again.
Gotta brew the toilet wine somehow.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRGVpRnblpEs&h=93145
A little early 70’s Canadian power trio to get your week started. Windrose should appreciate the name of the band. Budgie. Enjoy!
Thanks, Smedley! I had heard of them because of the name, but this is the first time I have listened to any of their music. Very nice, classic rock style. 8)
You bet. They should be bigger, but some rather questionable marketing moves on their quickly fired manager’s part doomed them to obscurity. They have a loyal following everywhere good music is found. A lot of their music is political, but some, like “Napoleon Bona Parts 1&2” , “Crash Course in Brain Surgery” and “Breadfan” just rock. Metallica covers a couple of their tunes and really shouldn’t have made the effort. At all. Ever. Please make them stop.
Funk bunk stunk,
I have a pair of socks in my bunk!
Rank Tank Stank,
I have a pair of socks that will earn me bank!
Sock Block Jock,
I’ve got a sock that fits on my-
Gotta go.
For those times when a T-shirt is too much.
Just wanted to let everyone know, in case I become extremely irritable and argumentative on here, that I an now on day 3 of my annual two week caffeine fast.
Days 1 and 2 were just wonderful. Headaches and grumpiness, and last night I had some wicked insomnia.
Ahh well, on with the snark.
Hang in there. I hear the first six months are the hardest.
And Taco’s brain comes to a screeching halt.
“Da bwa?”
From what I understand, caffeine addiction is harder to quit than nicotine.
I’d say nicotine is still harder. The trick with nicotine is that you have to quit the urge during certain trigger rituals. Caffeine can be substituted with other liquids to satisfy the urge to drink a hot beverage in the morning. But perhaps that’s just my take on it.
I quit it on accident during my Undergrad. I went from 6 MntDews a day nothing because none of the cafeterias stocked it and I hadn’t yet acquired a taste for coffee (Something that didn’t happen until 5 years later when I started working a 10 hour 3rd shift all the time). Since other caffeinated drinks are generally nasty tasting, I just switched to water and juice. After the first two years I tried to go back to “The Dew”, but it tasted nasty so I just kept with water and juice. I’d have never come back to caffeine were it not for the awesomely deliscious “Milkyway Mocha” that the coffee shop across from my work made. From there it spiraled down towards regular coffee. Milkyway Mocha is a gateway beverage.
My yearly two week “cleansing” is just long enough to get through the withdrawls (generally they last about 10 days with me). Most of my battle is really finding something else that’s warm to drink in the morning. So lots of herbal tea is consumed. I also allow myself 1 decaf coffee during the 2 weeks if I’m really jonesing and need a fix.
As for quitting Caffeine vs. Nicotine. I think they’re too different to really compare. Caffeine is such a widely available thing that it’s hard not to pick up a beverage that doesn’t contain it, so quitting it might be more a “But I like the taste” more than any true chemical need. For my part my affinity for caffeine has more to do with my acquired taste than I think it neccesarily does the caffeine. I love the taste of coffee now. If my co-workers brewed nothing but decaf I’d still drink a lot.
Nicotine on the other hand I’ve seen people try to quit. I’ve never gone through withdrawls and cravings to match those. Whenever I’ve gone off coffee it’s been easily replaced with other beverages, but cigarettes appear to have no real substitution.
Making notes in my C.A.R.E.* pamphlet.
*Caffeine Abuse Resistance Education
You could also use Coffee as the first word.
What?
Well, to help with your withdrawals, you could try baiting Isaac*. He might be watching, you know, since he was here yesterday.
I worked at a place that was too cheap to bother with a second, distinctive, pot for decaf. Further, the people with the offices closest to the maker were made or rather delicate stuff. So, they took to making the coffee with half decaf. Being delicate, they also failed to warn anyone else that they had adulterated the brew.
Office production hit new lows, and surliness increased to previously unknown highs, and no one knew the reason why. That is until one of our “helpful” orchids took off for a vacation and others made coffee from just regular coffee, but also to correct strength. Happiness ensued–except in Accounting and HR, where there was great swooning and being overcome with vapours and ill humours. But, the office worked well.
For a week.
Then, we had to milquetoaste the coffee again. Quite a large number of people took to bringing their own after that. Which then caused great ‘offense’ and ‘insult’ in not “liking” the good-for-us coffee that “everyone else” (all the three of them) liked.
I’ll not wander off on a maundering rant about quality of coffee, Naval experience with same, or the paucity of fortitude that seems about…as my next pot of café mexìcana is ready.
The last time I quit coffee on purpose was for 3 weeks as I’d had a stomach bug and coffee made me feel ill. It was pretty tough, as I don’t like tea all that much, but Barleycup is just about a palatable coffee alternative as long as you view it as a beverage in its own right and not a coffee substitute. If you expect it to taste anything like coffee you’ll have a nasty shock.
Giving up nicotine is a different thing entirely – you can’t be an ex-smoker. You are always one stressful moment away from giving in. Well, that’s my experience anyway.
Good luck on your fast TM. About ten yeas ago I switched from caffeine to ethanol with absolutely no side effects (that I can remember)………
I find that combining the two is just loverly.
Annual caffeine fast? What? Are you mourning the passing of Juan Valdez or something?
Do coffee enema’s count?
Naw. Every year around January I find that my coffee intake has climbed fairly high. I go on a 2 week caffeine fast to slough off some of the dependancy and get to the point where caffeine starts working again. I was up to about 6-7 mugs of coffee a day this year and it wasn’t really giving me a boost any more. After this fast I should be back down to about 2 mugs.
As I’ve never attempted the coffee enema, I can’t comment on whether or not I should consider them fair game.
That’s hysterical. Perhaps I should try that with my heroin intake. Get more bang for my buck.
😉
Blessed be the high colonic. Sherry is popular too, but I find it to be a tad sweet……
I don’t like sherry flavored colonics.
I like maraschino cherry colonics. Like a virgin…..
I prefer semi-colonics.
That would be an enema…….
Or a very perverse sitzbath
It must have been getting pretty bad:
Moments ago my boss walked up: “Are you feeling ok today, Taco?”
“Fairly well. A bit of a headache but otherwise fine; why?”
“Well, I noticed that the coffee pot is still mostly full and now I see that you’re drinking herbal tea this morning. Figured you must have had a stomach bug or something.”
Wow…
I’m surprised he didn’t offer you a straight jacket.
Straight(jacket) No Chaser.
…and a little dirty….
It’s only bad when people are surreptiously leaving cups of coffee on your desk. Because, you’re scaring them.
Or painting little letters on the chocolate covered coffee beans, and calling them factory second “M&M”s.
Wow, it’s like watching someone try to rebuild Rome in two weeks. 0_o.
Last time I looked, I think Rome’s still there.
Now Pompeii is a different story….
Rome is a conspiracy by the Dark Wizards, man.
Well, I’m trying to be supportive: I’m having a second pot of coffee today (but, this is from my dinky “4-cup” maker–only really a pint).
Having been gone from the house (which celebrates its 59th birthday this month) for three days during a long cold snap, is just filled with cold drafts and thermal mass acting as a heat sink instead of source–so, it’s quite chilly despite near-full sun out. Thermodynamics of structures will mean that the chill will be exociszed about the time we warm up in mid week. Which does not make my fingers any warmer at all just now. (Abd, ibs hrd totype widle hoding acoffeemg.)
hn9ok, 8it5[;ws n9o5r
(No, it’s not.)
I sure hope we hear from Lola and other New Yorkers today. There was snow in the subways! Makes for a less than happy commute.
I am here. It was … challenging, and took twice as long as usual. I am also cold, and tired, but they are giving us free lunch of reasonable quality, and the boss wrote in (he’s not even here) to say that depending on workflow, we may get to go home early.
I think my snark was frozen. I come on, look at this, and think, “I wonder if those socks are warm. On the other hand, if they are cold, the smell is probably not as bad.” (This is one of the small bonuses to winter in NYC – the smells that can fell you in the summer tend to be slight or nonexistent in the winter.)
I … didn’t bring my flask. I will be making use of it when I get home, however.
Well, I thought to send you a nifty collection of hot toddy recipes I was emailed just before Festivus. But, I relented, as this is not weather to give you reason to be out searching stores for less-common ingredients.
The home supply is sufficient, but thanks for the thought. Tea with whisky and lemon is doing the business so far.
I hope we hear from the Boston folks, also. I’m up in Mid-New Hampshire, hanging out at my folks place. We’ve had about a foot and a half of snow and it’s still snowing and blowing out there. Good thing I’ve got this nice warm poncho.
Does all the scratching keep it warm?
It’s the extra layer of louses.
But I thought cold weather would do in those pets of yours! Well, it works on fleas, anyway.
Well I’m south of Boston and we got belted with snow pretty bad… I was supposed to go to work at 5 am, but took one look out the window, heard the governor issue a warning to all non-essential employees to stay home, saw a report where two tractor trailers in the town I work in get stuck and had to wait for plows to free them from the snow…. and decided it was best to stay in my cozy house all day.
Our mayor told us to stay home, but the “emergency line” recording for work said we were open. My paycheck comes with the firm’s and not the mayor’s name on it, so I knew who to listen to.
I didn’t bother to call in. I have a feeling very few bothered to show up.
Thanks for checking in, Silva. I’m glad you were safe and warm at home.
Oh…yeah, I’m alive. I’m actually home in Portland at the moment so I didn’t have to deal with the blizzard. But thanks for the concern!
Edit: Portland, OR, as Maine still had blizzard and snowiness.
Coach Brakett: Oh boy, would I like to get next to that.
Coach Warren: Ah yes, Lassie.
Coach Brakett: Lassie?
Coach Warren: Patience my boy, patience.
Coach Brakett: Why do they call her Lassie?
Coach Warren: Why do you think?
Coach Brakett: I dunno.
Coach Warren: Awooooooo.
Coach Brakett: You callin’ her a dog? That’s angel food cake.
Coach Warren: Well, what can I tell ya?
Coach Brakett: You can tell me why they call her Lassie.
Coach Warren: Just get her up in the equipment room, and you’ll find out. But beware of King Kong.
Ooooh….new puppy pic……….. *drool*
Meh, it’s not that…
D’aaw. He’s in a stocking!
I prefer to call it Santa’s Little Straight Jacket
Wow, who would have thought that I would have had the opportunity to use the words straight jacket twice already this morning. Guess Sparky brings out the crazy in me.
Is he in a stocking? To me it looks like someone photoshopped a dogs head onto a genie pigs body.
I thought it was a Ham-ster… but then my eyes are bad. Especially, after yesterday’s pictures the corneas are definitely scarred.
Moral turpitude!
Assumptions we can make based on this post:
1) Single women’s feet do not sweat sufficiently enough to meet ebay caliber.
2) Single woman is probably too lazy to do anything to MAKE said feet sweat.
3) Single woman has a basic concept of manners and grammar but a decidedly odd fetish.
4) Single woman is not so desperate for socks that she is willing to give out any type of contact information whatsoever. Maybe they must be magic socks that find their way to her automatically.
Like homing pigeons, except with laundry.
Okay folks, because the wide, wide world of internet fetishes is mostly unfamiliar to me (although my imagination is healthy enough), I decided to peruse eBay for sweaty socks.
And found some being auctioned (currently at $12.50).
Which then led me to click on the Feedback Profile of the seller (because he/she/it was rated 100% dontcha know).
A list of items previously auctioned by said seller appeared.
And now I feel dirty and tainted. I hate the internet.
I’ve got a link to a Harry Potter / Snape slashfic that could go the rest of the way towards destroying your innocence if you want it.
No way. You post a link, I feel compelled to click on it, regardless of my mind’s survival instinct that attempts to kick in.
I can only deal with so much mental scarring in one day.
LINK OF DOOM!
Aww. One of them big-eared fox critters.
Fennec. That’s information that will help you win Jeopardy.
It is like Yoda with fur.
Don’t you mean “Like Yoda with fur it is”?
DRAT! Out-geeked again!
I knew a woman while in college whose housemate had a dirty sock fetish, so this isn’t that new except that I’m a little surprised it’s a woman, as it’s more typically men who are prone to paraphilia/fetishism. His girlfriend complied with his requests to bring him her post-aerobics socks. This was back when the ‘net was still mainly bulletin-board-type pages and most of us didn’t know about it, but I’m willing to bet that even then there was a dirty sock board.
If this question produces the obvious answer, forget I asked – but what does one DO with sweaty socks?
Well you see, when a man and a sweaty sock love each other very much…
Love potions.
I overheard it, somewhere.
What bothers me most about this ad is, in addition to sweaty, they say SALTY…. is someone TASTING these socks ?! Eww eww eww
Depending on what you’re doing with the sock you could probably just assume the salty taste.
I’ll be in the corner.
I am pretty sure they are a requirement for making Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls.
Dang it, Hammy is asleep in my favorite corner!
*Snorgle*
Whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa……….
That is all. My house and my snark still have the Christmas Hangover. *looks around at plastic packaging bits, empty shipping boxes, and serving platter with stuffing bits on it* Hmmm….
Here in Sunny California, until the next rain storm, it’s noon! (well, now it’s almost 1:00.) and Chthulhu made lunch, singing, Here Comes Sammiches, Here Comes Sammiches! 8)
Edit: No, it won’t be noon until it rains. It will be Sunny until it rains. Where did I put that Captain Obvious hat?
All my Cthulhu does is try to either eat or mate with Lemmy, I can’t really tell which. Never any sammiches.
Cheeky little bugger.
Lovely snark today, people, I’m just choosing not to partake because the thought of stinky feet makes me ill. My sister’s foot smell pretty much scarred me for life. My own feet don’t smell so great, but hers – ugh. Good think Mr. AR’s feet don’t smell so bad, as feet go, so I don’t have to make special efforts to avoid them.
In other news, I’m the only one in the lab today. I’m glad I decided to stay in bed a few extra hours instead of getting up while I still had a headache. I have about 10 min. more work to do, I’m debating staying after that’s done just to say I was here, or saying screw it and going back home.
We were sent home early. I vote for you getting to do the same! 🙂
*Revs up the Gohomeearlyelator*
*Points it at AR and let’s it go*
Sigh, took me longer than usual to notice my apostrophe abuse.
Well, you’ve got an excuse for the next 2 weeks. I say milk it for all it’s worth.
Well, I came in late, so I’m not sure. I’ve been here just over 2 hours. I’ll stay till 5, ’cause I should, but should I stay later and pretend it’s even close to a “full” day?
I’m leaning toward whenever I manage to end this “lunch break” doing the 10 min. of work and leaving.
Do what I do AR – Come in at 2:00 and leave at 6:00. First shift will think you came in 2 hours early, and second shift will think you stayed 2 hours late. Your hard work will be admired by all. And make sure you charge the extra hours………
That’s a lovely idea, CD, but we’ve really only got the one shift. I could stay until everyone leaves and hope they think I’m staying late, but at some point I have to produce the work…
Yeah, the devil is in the details isn’t it……..
My wall has hit a day. All I can say is, “Unnnngggggghhh.”
OT : Love Bird Jake wants to inspect the gold foil candy I am about to eat so badly, he is throwing little temper tantrums, but when I offer it to him, he gets suspicious and backs off. 8)
That’s so cute!
magical evil shiny things!
Yep, he’s male. 8)
*Yawn* Going to bed early. Windrose, left the light on for you. Just make alot of noise first, hate to mistakenly think you were an intruder. 🙂 Until tomorrow.
No problem, noise is something I am good at. At which I am good. 8)
Psst! LimeLolly! It’s time to get punched! Hello? Wakey-wakey, little sheepen! No more time for sleepen! Awe, heck. I’ll use a pillow. Pummpity pump pump!
G’Night, Bridgedale!
Aha, she’s found a loophole in the “no underwear” rule.