YSaC, Vol. 943: Orlin… Orlin… Orlin no het rivr!

2011 March 14

RIVR GEAR IN STYLE – m4m


OK SO HERE IS THE DEA, i WANT TO FLOAT THE RIVER RIGHT THIS YEAR. AS IN HAVING TUNES. sO FAR i HAVE A SEALED 12V 4AH BATTLERY TO CONTRIBUTE. i HAVE COOL ERS AND STUFF JUST KNOT PEASKERS. WOR THTN WILLING TO SHARE THE PROJECT AND IDEAS. jUAST HIT ME UP. BEER LIQ AND 420 ALL COOL.—jASON

Wow.. I don’t even know where to begin.

* This person has managed to capitalize every single letter in this post, except for 6, all of which SHOULD have been capitalized.

* As far as I can tell this person wants someone to build him an audio system for his boat, and is of the impression that a reasonable division of labor is “I provide the battery and a cooler, and you build me the speakers.”

* Actually, he doesn’t specifically SAY he has a boat, just that he’s “floating the river.” As far as we know he could be in a bathtub, a comical 20’s vintage cartoon barrel, or even an inflatable duck. Which would be sort of awesome.

* Also, why is this in m4m? On second thought, don’t answer that.

Thanks for the link, Ross!

138 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 March 14
    Lola permalink

    Knot Peaskers = some kind of wild bird. Peasker-peasker-peasker is the distinctive call, I believe.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 March 14

      I believe it’s related to the woodpecker, but makes holes in the ground rather than trees — much to the chagrin of area gophers and moles.

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 March 14

      Peaskers is the thing I need.
      Rivr’ floatin’ is the life for me.
      Sound spreadin’ out so far and wide
      Keep your Manhattan’s, just give me that PBR.

      iTunes is what I’d rather play.
      I’m allergic to spelling, hey.
      I just adore the penthouse review.
      m4m, I love you but give me 420 too.

      …The oars.
      …The cooler.
      …Fresh batterys.
      …Time to spare

      You share my Liq.
      Good bye, quiet life.
      Peaskers we can hear!

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 March 15
        Kimmer permalink

        Awesome. Completely awesome.

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 March 14
      Windrose permalink

      The peasker has such beautiful plumage that it has to nest on yellow inflatable rafts so it won’t be seen. The chicks, on hatching, sound like a bad stereo system when calling to be fed. The male chicks are regularly pushed out of the nest for their horrible spelling.

      Adores: 15
      • 2011 March 14
        Angel permalink

        Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue Peasker, isn’t it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14

          They make matresses with their feathers, right?
          There was a story about them if I recall correctly…The Princess and the Peasker?

          Adores: 7
    • 2011 March 14
      mudslicker permalink

      KNOT PEASKERS

      Hey! That’s the name of my rappelling group!

      We’ve been on rope on Pikes Peasker and our favorite show is Twin Peasker. Our favorite knot is the one where the squirrel runs around the tree and then jumps into the hole.

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 March 14
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Knot Peaskers is the name of IF’s The Vines/Roxette mash-up tribute side project.

        Adores: 1
  2. 2011 March 14

    Rivr Gear was the lone idjit in the DEA’s cadre of agents in one Texas outpost. Told that floating down a river, in a raft, would garner him all manner of nefarious characters and their shennanigans, Rivr was eager for the assignment.

    He was completely oblivious to the guffaws of laughter at the office when the plan had been introduced among the rest of the staff.

    His only request? A sweet Bose system installed on the inflatable raft so he could patrol in high style. The DEA, strapped for cash, wasn’t having any of it.

    No problem for Rivr, he just hopped on CL and placed an ad using his code name jASON. He even added that “420” was no problem in hopes of getting a jumpstart on Operation: Whitewater.

    All went as planned, and the raft carrying Rivr and his companion – Heffalumpulus (or Butch as his friends called him) started down the Rio Grande with the tunes a-blarin’.

    Later that day, the shredded remains of their raft beside them on the beach, a soaked to the skin Butch and Rivr contemplated the events of just a few moments earlier.

    “Well, that was interesting.” Butch said, making the greatest understatement of all time. “I’ve heard of people being held at gunpoint for their trucks, of being robbed of all their money and credit cards, but this is the first time I’ve ever run across a bunch of drug lords so hell-bent on a bunch of CDs.”

    “Yeah,” replied Rivr, “poor planning on my part, I guess. I just never figured the tough guys in a cartel would be such big ABBA fans.”

    Adores: 13
  3. 2011 March 14

    Goon River, jASON’s such a clown.
    He’s crossing you with sound some day.
    Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
    whatever you’re smoking, he’s going your way.

    One Sparky off to see the world,
    There’s such a lot of world to see.
    He’s after some free labor’s end–
    waiting ’round the bend,
    my so deluded friend,
    Goon River and me.

    Adores: 16
  4. 2011 March 14
    Mindfield permalink

    Left a good job in the city
    Workin’ every night for the DEA
    An’ I never lost one minute o’ peeslin’
    Worryin’ ’bout the way things mighta been

    CDs keep on turnin’
    420 keep on burnin’
    Floatin’, floatin’, floatin’ on the river

    Drank a lotta beers in Memphis
    Sucked a lotta coolers down in New Orleans
    Now all I got’s a sealed 12V battery
    The rest is smoke and some cool pipe dreams

    CDs keep on turnin’
    420 keep on burnin’
    Floatin’, floatin’, floatin’ on the river

    If you come down to the river
    Bring some knot peaskers and a ball o’ twine
    I got the ideas and a rubber dinghy
    We’ll travel down the river singin’ Patsy Cline

    CDs keep on turnin’
    420 keep on burnin’
    Floatin’, floatin’, floatin’ on the river

    CDs keep on turnin’
    420 keep on burnin’
    Floatin’, floatin’, floatin’ on the river

    Adores: 22
  5. 2011 March 14

    Look, give the guy a break – it’s not easy to post a coherent ad when the DEA have just boarded your pedalo. But if it’s really intended to get him a boyfriend, I’m afraid he might just as well tie a knot in his peasker…

    Adores: 13
  6. 2011 March 14
    sarajean80 permalink

    This was in the personal ads?

    I’ve heard of people using odd or obscure euphemisms for various fetishes, but there is such a thing as taking a metaphor too far.

    Adores: 14
    • 2011 March 14

      It was the bit about attaching the 12V battery to someone’s knot peaskers, wasn’t it?

      Adores: 14
      • 2011 March 14

        Probably, freaky-puppy, next time try to be more subtle will you?

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 March 14
        sarajean80 permalink

        Don’t you mean “battlery”?

        Adores: 7
        • 2011 March 14
          Lola permalink

          That spelling changes everything.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          To Battelry, Men! Don’t fry until you see the widths of their ayes!

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 March 14
          Mindfield permalink

          I see them chargin’! Mikepen up front, calvary ahind, and arlittery takin’ up flankanin’ positions! Ready the yobbonets!

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          Remebner men. They’res a bullet with youprobablyit writted on it.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          a bullet with youprobablyit writted on it

          That’d be one big bullet.

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 March 14

          The writing’s done by one of those people you see at music festivals writing names on grains of rice.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 March 14

          rtaasxciouum,. ghacvwe ytio bwerwern rt6tyopuiobnfgy qw3uirtgh m,ygs asfgauibn?

          (If you can translate that, you get all the doors.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          Sorry, I don’t speak Mug.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14

          Maybe you need a mug shot.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14

          Would Mister mMagic like to try translating?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          *Rocks in the corner*

          He wanted me to translate so I started cyphering, but the cyphers began to speak to me. They told me to burn things, but no matches, NO MATCHES! All these flammable things and no matches, no lighter. Can’t burn them I said, they didn’t believe me. Told me that if I didn’t burn things they would eat the crazy parts of my brain. I didn’t need those parts I said, but they didn’t listen! They teamed up with my chop sticks and started folk dancing. I hate folk dancing, it causes the crazy to escape! But it did! And it folk danced too, so much dancing, always dancing! Laughing, folk dancing, eating pudding! No fire, never fire, PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!*

          *Drools quietly to himself*

          *I think I’m going to scream “PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!” randomly as I walk down the street and see how long it takes me to attract law enforcement.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 March 14

          I’ll give you a hint: most of the letters are there, in order.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          I think you broke Taco.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 March 14

          Naw, he didn’t even ‘splode or nuthin’.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          After much studying I have decoded it:

          Taco, have you been toping with my afghan?

          The answer is no, I have not.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14

          So close.

          It was “Taco, have you been typing with mugs again?

          I did say most.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          People are always ignoring the afghan, sheesh.

          But just when you feel safe: BOOM! Afghans will swarm all over you. You’ve been warned laddie.

          PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!

          Adores: 9
    • 2011 March 14
      mudslicker permalink

      This was in the personal ads?

      The m4m refers to the fact that jASON feels that only a dude could possibly hook him up with a sweet sound system for his dinghy.

      I’m sure he would have asked for Keith Stone directly but probably had more than a little problem with the spelling: Kept coming out as Kiteh Sonet–the name of his favorite stripper.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 March 14

        Kiteh Sonet: A madrigal composed by the Cheezburger crowd.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14

          No.
          Kiteh Sonet:
          Shal i cumpear teeh 2 a summerz day 4 teh lulz?
          touh rt moar <3ly + moar temprit

          Also, I’ve save you the trouble.

          cumpear

          Is that like a cumpet?

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 March 14

      It’s a well know fact that men that prefer men are the most adept at water resistant sound system construction. Don’t you ever read Popular Science?

      Adores: 2
  7. 2011 March 14

    OT – everyone…I had the strangest dream, and I posted it in the forum…go have a look-see.

    Adores: 1
  8. 2011 March 14
    TacomMagic permalink

    This post starts off promising, seeming to be a 24-esk setup to take out the DEA… then it just gets disappointing around the time we all have to stop and make some macramé peakers before the big wor on the DEA.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 March 14
      TacomMagic permalink

      ARRRGGGHHH! I spelled peaskers wrong!

      Adores: 14
      • 2011 March 14
        Bombdude permalink

        You seem so surprised by this…

        Adores: 16
    • 2011 March 14

      macramé peakers

      Knitting while looking in your neighbor’s window?

      Adores: 1
  9. 2011 March 14
    Camille permalink

    I think battlery is something like cutlery. You cut with cutlery; therefore you must bat with battlery. (Though given the aquatic theme, perhaps battlery is more like cuttlefish than cutlery.)

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 March 14
      Lola permalink

      Now I’m imagining not baseball but cricket bats – used as paddles?

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 March 14
        Camille permalink

        I think that would be paddlery.

        But you’re onto something, Lola. A little paddlery with a cricket bat might be just the incentive that Sparky needs to stop being such a Sparky.

        Adores: 5
  10. 2011 March 14
    Andrea permalink

    i really like the word PEASKERS…. peaskers …. peaskers… peaskers! 🙂

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 March 14
      Windrose permalink

      Excellent, Andrea! You just passed the first test and are well on your way to be a rookie snarker. Congratulations. Here’s the official YSaC hat, covered in bees, and the Collected Works of Taco, Hammy, Mindee, Yancy, and many more, too many to list.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 March 14
        TacomMagic permalink

        She even had a small typo.

        *Sniff*

        I promised myself I wouldn’t cri.

        Adores: 11
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Just don’t confuse the Tacos… We confuse easily 😉

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 March 14

        When I lost my snarkginity I didn’t get a hat…

        **sadface**

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          Windrose permalink

          Uhm. I have some extra bees. Would that make it a little better? *encouraging smile*

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14

          It… it wouldn’t be the same.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Lice? 😀

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 March 14
      SpaceBug permalink

      Heeeeeere Peasker, Peasker, Peasker.
      C’mon widdle Peasker.
      Awww, nice cuddwy widdle Peask-
      OW
      Sumbitch, that’s the last pORKYPIN I keeps’a’pet.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 March 14

        Putting your peasker anywhere near a porcupine is a baaaad idea!

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14
          mudslicker permalink

          I thought that a pecil next to a porcupine was a bad idea….

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14

          The pecil in mightier than the quill.

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          That might be so, but you’re still gonna need some tweezers and an icepack afterwards.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 March 14

          Hammy’s sentence no verb.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          That might be a typo.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14

          Pecil in a verb.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14

          Volo pecilire te.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14

          I prefer Mercedes.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          I pecil
          You pecil
          He/She peciles

          It pecilates
          We pecilitate
          They pecilinatate

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14

          You forgot…

          In Pecilvania.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14

          In Latin:

          Pecilire – To Pecil
          Pecilo – I Pecil
          Pecilis – You Pecil
          Pecilit – He/She/It Pecils
          Pecilimus – We Pecil
          Pecilitis – Y’all Pecil
          Pecilunt – They Pecil

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          Texansitus, are ye?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Pecilitis – Y’all Pecil

          The inner latin-speaking redneck in me just squee’ed a little 😀

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Pecilitis is a hard on to get over without some pecilcillin.

          Adores: 3
  11. 2011 March 14
    TacomMagic permalink

    There once was a cat with no wiskers
    Who envied all of his sisters’
    I’ve run out of ryhme,
    And just killing time,
    Just so I can end this with peaskers.

    *Bow*

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 March 14
      Mindfield permalink

      This only works if I say it like Peter Lorre.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 March 14
        TacomMagic permalink

        That’s what I was going for, yes.

        Belly rub?

        Adores: 7
  12. 2011 March 14

    jASON and the aQUANUTS

    jASON assembled a great group of m4m’s known as the aQUAKNOTS, named for their raft the Knot4Sale.

    They went in search of the golden Peasker, which was said to have the power to make men royally drunk.

    Along the way they had many adventures, but no one could remember them after they sobered up. So they made up a bunch of crap about Sirens, Harpies and Gods to explain the lipstick stains on their shirt collars to their wives.

    tHE eND!

    Adores: 17
    • 2011 March 14
      mudslicker permalink

      Was this story on Adult Swim?

      😉

      Sounds more like jASON from Crystal Lake. Damn, that hockey mask!! Gets in the way of seeing my keyboard all the time!

      Adores: 2
  13. 2011 March 14
    SisterTaco permalink

    jUAST HIT ME UP

    I read that as ‘joust’ the first time and my thought was “There is no way you’re going to be floating that river in full plate body armor… think again, buddy.” And thus a very amusing mental image emerged of this guy dressed in a suit of armor, floating down the river on an inflatable horsie inner-tube, talking all Don Quixote and the likes, stabbing random other floaters with an inflatable squeaking lance. If anyone wants to, oh, draw this, that would be awesome 😀

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 March 14
      mudslicker permalink

      I’ll have what SisterTaco is smokin’…..!

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 March 14
      TacomMagic permalink

      Are you not one of those drawbies yourself?

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 March 14
        mudslicker permalink

        :: pokes at and then hands TacoMm some Beech Knot::

        I’m a gumby and a pokey!

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 March 14
        SisterTaco permalink

        I am, Taco… but I am at work >.> It would have to wait until lunch.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Uploaded with ImageShack.us

          >.> Char. And yes.. those are floaties on his arms and flippers poking out in front.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Yarg, I don’t think that worked. So… here! http://img405.imageshack.us/i/quixote059.jpg/

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 March 14

          I’m gonna have to go stock up on some more doors. You people are eatin’ me out of house an’ home.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          Niiiiiiice!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Oh, good.. the image is working ok with the link then? I really need someone (HINTS STRONGLY) to teach me how to make a picture appear in my post. Every single attempt I have made using code has failed miserably.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          Talk sweet to IF, he’s the only one I know of who has been able to embed a photo directly and not just a link.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14

          That’s because IF is magic/Morgan Freeman/a WordPress Admin.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 March 14
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Is Sparky floating down the river holding a coffee cup in his hand? Or is that a mug for typing?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          I think that’s him holding the reins of the horse… but his hand… IT’S ON BACKWARDS! Poor guy.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Oh Holy Hell, I forgot to draw the finger lines to indicate the hand is not on backwards. Barlgelyblargblarb. >.<

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          He does really look like “COFFEE HAND, THE PROTECTOR!” With his caffeinated lance of power, he brings foes to their knees with stabbity might! And, with his bold coffee cup hand, he always serves justice hot! with cream and two sugar. He pours freedom over America, burning it into the sensitive bits of the nation! Causing great blisters of equality to burst against the enemies of democracy!

          YES! COFFEE HAND TO SAVE MANKIND!*

          His battlecry brings peace to the world! Mounted on his mighty, inflatable steed he cries, “PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!” and takes to the river! Godspeed Coffee Hand, Godspeed.

          *I’ll be busy writing a comic based on this for the next few days.**

          **Probably not true.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Not to pop your inflatable horsie bubble, but here: http://img812.imageshack.us/i/handig.jpg/ Fixed.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14

          Looks more like Donkey Floaty to me…

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          I’m totally going to borrow Windrose’s brass knuckles and punch the crap out of all of you, and not in the good way! … and Walmart was out of Horsie Floaties so he had to get the next best thing 😛

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14

          It’s okay, Sister Taco. Well still pecil you.

          Well, we would, but I think that might be illegal.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          LimeLolly permalink

          Sis.. nobody would be surprised. How often is everyone told that they are full of crap?

          *raises hand*

          I don’t feel like myself if I’m not told that at least 3 times a day.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          Lol, and that’s why I pecil you guys, too. It’s not fun unless you’re brimming with crap.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14
          SilvaNoir permalink

          That’s really cute 🙂
          (the drawing, that is)

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14

          Peciling people who are brimming with crap isn’t cute too?

          On second thought, you’re right, it’s not.

          Also, I’d like to express my disdain for this smiley:

          🙂

          That’s the smile of a rapist right there. I dub thee Chester the Molester.

          Adores: 5
  14. 2011 March 14
    LimeLolly permalink

    RIVR GEAR IN STYLE

    This sounds like a job for Michael Flatley.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 March 14
      TacomMagic permalink

      Lord of the Pants!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 March 14
        SisterTaco permalink

        Now I’m picturing HIM in an inflatable horsie innertube. I need to get out more.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14
          sarajean80 permalink

          Or go buy Mr. Sister an inflatable horsie innertube 😉

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 March 14
          TacomMagic permalink

          I just drew, by far, the worst attempt at ever drawing Flatley in his pose as Don Quixote stabbing a windmill with a squeaky, inflatable lance.

          I’m way out of practice; I can no longer freehand draw using a pen.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          LimeLolly permalink

          TM, that is a horrible picture. Use a black broad tipped marker next time.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 March 14
        mudslicker permalink

        With the 420 reference—more like Lord of the Plants!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 March 14

          Lord of the-Oooo look a double rainbow…

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 March 14
          mudslicker permalink

          *Skittle*

          er, um…I meant *snicker*

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 March 14

        [shameless plug]Pants have Flies, ergo LotF.[/shameless plug]

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          I shall have to watch this when I have sound as I got as far as kid with glasses approaches blond kid and thought “What the hell is Harry Potter doing on the island? And where are the polar bears?”

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 March 14

          **is bespectacled child/Piggy**

          I don’t really use glasses though, they’re just a prop.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 14

          Oh, and fair warning, it’s a comedy.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14
          SisterTaco permalink

          You’re Harry Potter? Holy rusted metal, Batman!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14

          What? (I believe that would be my part in that okayish quote from that godawful movie?)

          Adores: 0
  15. 2011 March 14

    Code?

    i s i i j j = “i is jij”

    Perhaps “jij” is some super secret m4m activity.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2011 March 14

    OT:

    I am now on SoundCloud.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 March 14

    Well, some good news from L.A.. I will be back in my house in about three weeks. The Harpy ran into some money problems, (Ooh! Big surprise there.) and offered up her share of the house to me. Paperwork is filed, and my 401k is going to be waiting for me in a dark alley, but now I can unload it on some sucker and be done with it. I was hoping Velcro’s caretaker would be available to share it with me for awhile, but her timeframe was two years from now, and I found out last week why. It seems she isn’t done conning some sap back home. I was due to be the next rube on the hit parade. Facebook is a wonderful tool, sometimes. Especially if the would be con artist leaves up her “engaged” status for all the world to tell me about.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 March 14
      LimeLolly permalink

      So… you’ve dodged the bullet, the bogeyman and the bitch?

      Close enough to declare a home run? 😉

      If you’re happy, I’m happy for you.
      If you’re sad, I’ll load up the van with the sharp pointy objects and hit list.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 March 14
        SisterTaco permalink

        I call shotgun! You can take that however you’d like…

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 March 14
        sarajean80 permalink

        :gets Mr. Crowbar and pitcher of margaritas:

        I’m prepared for either eventuality.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 March 14

          I’ll get the Hydrochloric Acid Cocktails.

          They’re tasty and formfitting.

          😉

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 March 14
      Lola permalink

      Smedley, uh …
      *passes flask*

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 March 14

      Sounds like my kinda girl, I already know her number too!

      666-666-6666

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 March 14
      Windrose permalink

      Smedley, is that L.A. like in Los Angeles? Cause we are practically neighbors! And I will be going up to Corona soon for bird supplies. I could load up a posse and make a side trip. 8)

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 March 14

        Sadly, L.A. refers to Lower Alabama. I do appreciate the sentiments, violent and otherwise. Rest assured, she has some ‘splainin to do with idiot #1, because I let him know what transpired on the booty call. I am sad, but this too shall pass. I just miss the texting and the FB IMing every day. Is there a word for the feeling that I wish that she actually had those feelings for me, and I wasn’t a *doorknob? I’m sure there’s a country song about it, somewhere.

        *Everyone gets a turn.

        Adores: 1
  18. 2011 March 14
    Keith permalink

    If you have Caps Lock on and still use the shift key you will get lower case letters. So Sparky had Caps Lock on, knew he had to capitalize things, and somehow didn’t look at the screen for the entire time typing, then additionally for the entire posting confirmation.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 March 14
      dan permalink

      That was drmk’s take too – it still Sucks at Craigslist. ™

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 March 15
        Keith permalink

        @dan: You commented on it, not clear if it was a question or just a statement. I searched the comments for the word ‘Caps’ and the word ‘Lock’ and didn’t see the answer. Perhaps I’m just bad at telling if a question is rhetorical. Yes indeed, it’s Sucks at Craigslist.

        @Windrose: It does seem that picking on a new commenter is not much of a way to encourage repeat commenting. Maybe everyone wants it that way. I assumed the comment represented legitimate curiousity. Some machines (notably I believe the newest Macs) do not behave in that way so dan could have been genuinely unaware. Sorry, I won’t comment again unless I have something snarky to add.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 March 15
          TacomMagic permalink

          It also seems that a site dedicated to humor might expect those who do comment to be able to appreciate being ribbed a bit. You might notice that we tease each other with fair frequency in our snark frenzy, not just you or the ad in question.

          Go back and look at how often I’m ragged on for my poor proof reading skills and maybe you’ll feel better that you were hinted at being a bit of a captain obvious in this situation. Being able to take a joke is far more important than being able to tell one.

          Cheers,
          Taoc.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 March 14
      Windrose permalink

      Wow, really, Keith? All this snarking all day long, and no one saw that but you? I am so glad you stopped by! 8)

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 March 14
        SisterTaco permalink

        I think Corey is going to have a run for his money!

        Adores: 2
  19. 2011 March 15
    Windrose permalink

    Well, nuevo Corey, didn’t have a chance to explain the box thing to you. Your comment from yesterday was chosen, in a very secret, very arcane, and totally sincere way, as the best of the best, and has resided in the comment box up toward the top of the screen. After a day of basking in the glory that is YSaC, now comes the time to get your card punched and be added to the records for all time. Just hold the card up in front of you, so I can punch it. 8) Ready?

    Punchity Punch Punch! Uhm. Medic?

    g’nIGHT, mISSISSIPPI!

    Adores: 1
  20. 2011 March 15

    I just want to thank God…For giving me the talent. I’d like to thank the snarkers at ‘you suck’ couldn’t have done it without you. All the support from my babie’s mommas, SJ and WindyFlower-you know who you are. The check’s coming girl…It’s a long season, so I just wanna help the team every day and give a hundred percent. My teacher in hooker acquisition/prurient bartering, for showing me that hustlaz don’t sleep in class, and to frown upon any that do. Just an overwhelming feeling, man. I’m going to Fairy tale town.

    Ya, my bad. I guess I got put on the fridge, so I had to ham it up a little bit. Sorry for outing you girls as my baby momma, but hey, I couldn’t have done it without you. Sorry to be the new guy and just steal the fridge and the girls, but when you got it…

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 March 15

      I like this guy. Stick around willya?

      Adores: 1

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