YSaC, Vol. 957: I won’t let go at [just] any price …
I’m not clever enough to come up with an April Fool’s Day post, so you get a normal, everyday post instead.
Stunning Off-White French Providential 9 Pc. Living Room Set – $3800
Set of 9 pieces includes:
1 Full French Providential Couch – $1,500.00
1 French Providential Loveseat – $800.00
2 French Providential Swivel Chairs – $300.00 each
2 Marble End Tables – $175.00 each
1 Marble Cocktail Table – $350.00
2 Elegant Lamps – $100.00 eachThis truly is a bargain!!!! Original price was $8,500 (It’s too much furniture to just give away for less!)
Serious offers and cash only a must. Buyer responsible for removal.
If it’s Friday, it must be French Prudential day. But since we’re coming up on Easter, it must be French Providential day … the day on which ugly furniture is decreed into being by some malevolent, angry, color-blind god.
I’m pretty sure I saw those lampshades on the runway during RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 2. (Pandora Boxx was robbed, by the way.)
Personally, I’m distracted by the sculpture on the table in the foreground. I can’t quite see what it is, but it looks to me like CabbageHead is trying to drag Molly Ringwald into his Pretty-In-Pink lair.
Thanks, Cheryl!
Renaissance Barbie and Courtier Fop Ken sold separately.
“Do I look like a Fop to you? I’m definitely a Dapper Dan man.”
O’ Brother FTW (*goes off to play Soggy Bottom Boys cut on wmp*)
That is definitely off-white. Unfortunately, the only ‘stunning’ is what occurred to my brain.
Should we be grateful that at least the math adds up?
And, if that is the stunning “off white” what the fuchsia or magenta would do to a person (preson?) only a couple paces away . . . splenectomy, pnemothorax, renal infarction ?
My snark will be limited today; this week we’ve been in the thick of year-end crunch time, and it’s a six day week for me, with today and tomorrow being the biggies, so I’ll probably pop in around lunch and later this evening, but will otherwise be joining the warehouse staff to count things. And since they will no longer let me say “Vun, vun gasket! Ah-ah-ah-ah!” it’s not going to be nearly as much fun this year.
Freaky-puppy – be sure to warn everyone about the warehouse sharks…no, really, they exist…and they hone in RF guns.
Just sayin’…
We should be safe then. We don’t have those fancy-schmancy RF scanners. We kick it old school here and count everything by hand from inventory printouts, which get entered in manually for the recounts. I’d say we’re like corporate hipsters, but we don’t wear cardigans or ironic retro glasses. Truth is we’re running an inventory system that was designed, like, 15 or 20 years ago.
Yeah, suck it, warehouse sharks.
One potato,
Two potato,
Three potato,
Four
Five Potato,
Six Potato,
Seven Potato,
Non-sequitur.
Gummy Bears!
My granddaughter’s birthday is coming up, and her parents are already buying the Barbie Dream House for her…but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna pony up this kind of coinage for dollhouse miniatures just so Barbie and friends can hang out and play Wii all day on it.
I think they call that color Rhode Island red…”Go away, couch, ya bother me!”
*opens up dusty volume, coughs slightly* According to old Mr Webster, Sparky is indicating this furniture derives from the divine, or occurred on the whim of Providence. *closes book. Stares hard at furniture* I’m thinking this room needed a whole hell of a lot more divine intervention than it received in the planning stages.
And am I the only one who noticed that the carpet matches the drapes? *snerk*
I’ll be in the corner.
Not the only one. (grin)
Damn it, I meant to work that into the commentary.
I bet dontevenreply.com already did it anyway.
I want to know who’s repeating my comments? I thought we were original, one of a kind. I just might have to have a ‘smack-down’ with my doppleganger.
Yeah, what Taco said. (In the box.)
My Windrosian doppleganger is in the box!
*Punchity Punchy Punch*
Oh, it’s stunning, all right. It’s stunning that anyone would have paid $8,500 for those things, even if they are French Providencerhodeislandal. Also, am I the only one unnerved by the suggestion that I should go to Sparky’s house with $3,800 in cash?
Given the gaudy nature of the furniture, the only one who is going to go get it would be some old lady, who would be greeted at the door by the old lady owner. Then they shall sit upon this furniture, offering one another hard candy and nickles until they’ve both forgotten why they were there in the first place.
I’ve looked and looked but I just can’t see the multidinous cats hiding in the picture. I mean old ladies, tea, pink furniture… there MUST be cats somewhere.
Grandma, with the cat, in the fugly pink living room. *checks cards* Damn… no cats in this version. I’m out.
Well, one supposes one could bring $3800 in off-green bills . . .
But, in consideration of the above comments, $3800 in Fancy Feast, tea cozies, perhaps a nice Pekoe, or a Darjeeling, and some tins of digestive biscuits (and hairball treats) would suffice, as well . . .
In the spirit of the holiday, I submit that this Providential furniture is actually dollhouse furniture and someone is pulling a fast pink one…. Oh, wait…. that sounded all kinds of bad.
That would explain the price. May I show you to the corner?
We’re acquainted. ^_^ *turns to corner* Hiya!
I too was captivated by the ornament on the Marble Cocktail Table (or coffee table as I would call it).
I thought it was the Australian Coat of Arms, after the Prime Minister’s nieces and nephews had gone at it with Posca pens.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Australian_Coat_of_Arms.png
Well guys, it’s been fun.
But, due to increasing work loads and a desire to spend more of my free-time crocheting, this will be the last day of snark for me. I’ll still be on /FB if you need to reach me, but as for YSaC I am retiring.
Love you all, and stay snarky.
Cheers,
Taco
NNNooooooooo!!!
I wish this was a joke. If it was, it would be your only unfunny one. Something told me this was going to be a lousy day.
OK, I forgot it’s April 1. Thanks Lou.
So… I don’t need to bake a goodbye cake?
Wait, I could have gotten goodbye cake?!
Aw man…
Well… by bake I meant ‘buy from nearest convenience store’ and by cake I meant ‘stale crackers with fake cheese’. But sure, I would have gotten them for you, TM.
I could so have used your leaving as an excuse to get my boss to buy us cake. He’ll look for just about any excuse to buy sugary goodies for work since he can’t have them at home 🙂 Happy Groundhog’s day, here’s a cake! It’s Thursday, I bought cookies! Happy Anniversary of the Moon Landing, I got donuts! Etc etc.
I finished phase 1 of my commission project last night, and I’ll be done with phase 2 by Monday… that totally deserves cake.
*gots to show his Philadelphia roots here*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*eventhough I am aware this must be an April Fool’s joke*
That took relatively little time for somebody to notice.
Given that pranks are strictly forbidden at work, I needed an outlet.
Not the best you’ve done. I distinctly remember waking up one day and finding that you’d tacked a giant blanket over my door so I couldn’t get out of my room…
Who me?
*Whistles Innocently*
There may have been some cousins involved…
Taco, you spelled that wrong – I’m sure you meant to say “crotcheting – the act of being crotchety”, and you are far too young to be doing that. Besides, why would you take my job?
I will consider you as an understudy for the position. Now get off my lawn before I “shake my cane” at you.
*gets off lawn*
*does not want Gramps to “shake his cane” at her*
Somehow, the quotations make it really, really horrible.
*goes to corner*
:gets out video camera:
He shakes anything at me and I’m putting it on YouTube.
:pops open lawn chair and sits down, popcorn in one hand and soda in the other:
It’s showtime!
I hope he wears the red lingerie.
*Snaps on the TacoThong*
*Jingly Jingly Jingly*
grabs my soccer chair and sits by CJ (I think I should have brought my blind fold).
darn, I forgot the flask ….. Lola??
So, who thinks the Acme BrainBleach department should also manufacture sunglasses?
C’mon Winkey! Get your bells on!
*Jingly Jingly Jingly*
Pull the other one, it has got bells on. 8)
Wearing the belly dancer outfit again, Windy?
You think I’d wear anything else?
*Jingly Jingly Jingly*
I didn’t know until I saw it how much I never wanted to see a squirrel-suited belly dancer.
Who has the brain bleach?
…which begs the question…how did you manage to see it the first time??
I’m easily distracted by shiny things.
And now the TacoThong w/bells version of The Time Warp!
It’s just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust *Jingly Jingly Jingly*
that really drives you insane,
Let’s do the Time Warp again!
EDIT: *Whew* Forgot to close my tags there for a second. Not a smart move when you’re wearing the TacoThong.
I saw the squirrel in jingly bells
And all at once I was in hell….
This had better be an April Fool’s joke (similar to the foot of heavy, wet snow we are getting today in New England), or else I will be forced to come over there and shake the louse poncho all over you.
Warning! Angry Robot Moose Approaching!
New from Playskool, it’s Angry Robot Moose! Now with Poncho-Lice Flinging Action!
And it’s not even French Provincial but cheap Louis Quatorze! I wonder how Craigslisters would alter that title…
Post Title Breakfast Club Earworm For The Win!
Thanks, LlamaNun, and many, many April Bees be upon you and the Ostrimu.
I was aiming for “Pretty in Pink,” actually, but “Breakfast Club” will do. Their Venn diagrams intersect at Molly Ringwald, so it’s close enough.
Molly Ringwald seems to be a pretty common intersection.
I’ll be in the corner.
It appears that the Genie Of The Pepto-Bismol Bottle is redecorating.
I hear he picked up some nice Contemporarium stuff.
It’s her signature colors – blush and bashful!
My aunt used to have a room with this kind of stuff in it. Only it was always protected with plastic covers on the seating items, and the room itself had a little velvet chain across the entryway, so we hooligan nieces wouldn’t dare actually enter and soil said items.
At one time in my younger days, I thought having a special room like that was a sign of being rich, and I always wanted a house with an off-limits room. Now, I would just put more birds in it.
Duuuuude!! I need this set! It would really set my man-cave apart!!!
It would TOTALLY match my bench grinder.
Damn. My band saw is fuchsia. It would totally clash.
My rolling tool box is the EXACT same color! it would be FABULOUS!
All it needs is some feathers.
And rhinestones, lots and lots of sparkly rhinestones.
And a few bedazzled deer hoves to hang your clamps from.
I’m wearing my cl…
Gotta go!
A pink man cave? My eyes squeeze shut only so tight, gentlemen.
And there we are, in your mind’s eye. Deep in our pink cave.
Anyone have a shovel?
Better bring an excavator.
French Providential = Any 1960s TV Show Wild West Brothel
Indeed – my first thought on seeing the photos was “tart’s boudoir”.
That makes me wish I had a pet named Tarts and had lived on Boudoir Way when I was a kid.
My stripper name isn’t that interesting, either, so don’t feel bad.
(And that could totally be misconstrued.)
My stripper name sounds more like an old-school rock band.
James 78.
Yeah… I’m IF’s B-52s tribute band… or maybe the Dave Clark 5.
Well, when BBC had to correct that Changing Rooms disaster, the furnishings had to go somewhere, didn’t they?
I think these were stolen from the Madonna Inn.
[Alot OT]
I got a note from one of my aunts last night. She mentioned that she misses the family alot.
I miss him too. He’s fast and pretty darn cunning. In fact I don’t know that anyone has ever managed to hit him.
[/Alot]
If this was a written note, I can probably expect one soon, too.
YSaC is now #6 on the google results for TacoThong.
You’re welcome.
I’m appalled that there’s even at least 6 results for that google search.
102 results. o.O
I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be sick.
It’s number 3 now, with 104 results.
I’m scared.
As the number of hits increases, the TacoThong grows increasingly small and scanty.
And mankind inches ever nearer to the brink of destruction.
Even putting aside the usual snark about French Providential… what on earth would a French Providential SWIVEL chair be? The chair in the photo does not look a bit swivelly to me.
Le swivel chair.
Duh.
Given the rigor and rectitude of Sparky-speeling, I was crossed-fingers hoping it did mean a chair that pivoted about a generally vertical axis. That, rather than being morose and with a poorly-controlled sinus condition continually wingeing on about how miserable it was all the time . . .
Oh my, I’ve missed you guys.
Sorry, I don’t have anything snarky to add. I’m just taking a well deserved April 1st break from my internet hiatus. Kudos to Taco for the well played April Tom-foolery.
christina! You can’t imagine how much I have missed you. 8) Even a weekly drop-in would keep me from going in to withdrawals.
[OT] So I’m heading into work bright and early for day one of the inventory count and as I’m leaving the supermarket with the cafe where I get my morning coffee, there’s a Penske rent-a-truck parked across the street. Someone got a little creative with their motto.
And yes, my feet and back are sore from standing and counting all day. (Actually, for a change I got my count partner to do all the counting this year while I wrote the counts down. Usually I do the counting because I’m pretty accurate, but because I was feeling sick last night with some sort of bug that caused a fever and shivering to the extent that my tensed muscles ended up feeling like I’d had the crap kicked out of me, I wanted to take it easy today. I’m feeling better now, but I think I’ll let him keep counting.)
[/OT]
Punchity punch punch taco and snardo. G’night french something or other.