YSaC, Vol. 972: Lol.

2011 April 21
tags: ,
by dan

Internets - $5


I have 3 internets for sale.
These are the large kind.

One is fifteen feet wide.
The other two are 6 feet.

email if interested

Only three? I mean, I know they're the large kind, but I'd really like to get at least a dozen.

Thanks, Ralph!

176 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 April 21
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    It's helpful to know how wide they are, but I'm worried about fitting them in my car. I hear the Internets are long, and I keep getting these e-mails about ways to make things even longer.

    Adores: 16
    • 2011 April 21
      TacoMagic permalink

      Reading that with your Doctor Horrible cosplay picture in my periphery makes me feel dirty.

      Adores: 7
  2. 2011 April 21

    These are the cheap Chinese knockoff internets, the real internets are all multiples of 8 wide.

    Adores: 11
  3. 2011 April 21

    Ooh, can I buy all three for $20?

    I WILL OWN ALL THE INTERNETS!!!!!

    :evil laugh:

    Adores: 19
    • 2011 April 21
      Lara permalink

      I WILL OWN ALL YOUR BASES!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21

        ALL MY BASE BELONG TO ME!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          Angel permalink

          All your base are belong to us!*

          * By us, I mean me and Disdainful Cat.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21
          Lola permalink

          Angel, is that you, Disdainful Cat (TM), and "RAWR! I'm a dinosaur!" since he comes around so often?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          Angel permalink

          Oh my, yes, definitely add the iguana. It's almost a pet these days!

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21
      mudslicker permalink

      You can buy all 3 for $25. Geez. Don't you know how to do math *meow*?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 21

        Do you think I could talk Sparky down to $30?

        Adores: 7
  4. 2011 April 21

    You mean I've been paying Comcast how much per month, when I could have bought an Internet outright for $5?

    Adores: 9
  5. 2011 April 21
    SisterLyle permalink

    All are large sizes
    Sparky selling internets
    How is the bandwidth?

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21

      I want internets
      They must be fifteen feet wide
      You know, the large kind

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        She has huuuuuuuuuge internets.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21

          She's got big bandwith and that's no lie.
          You other nerds can't deny,
          When a girl walks by with an itty bitty case
          And two tetrabytes of disk space
          You want some! Can't get enough,
          But your download speeds are rough.

          Adores: 29
      • 2011 April 21
        artsy computer geek permalink

        Bigger is better.

        Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21
        Asshat Sparklington IV permalink

        One is fifteen feet wide.
        The other two are 6 feet.

        Those might fit into my mansion. I may have given away my secret identity. I will go back to hiding. To the ASS CAVE!!

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          SisterLyle permalink

          *faceplant*

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          You may want to be careful with the faceplanting around Sparklington there.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21

          Del: "Where is your other hand?"
          Neal: "Between two pillows."
          Del: "Those AREN'T PILLOWS!"

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21

          :puts vat of bleach on stove:

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          In case you haven't seen it. (Because you should.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "Nose sandwich" is the less desirable variant.

          Adores: 0
  6. 2011 April 21

    Customer 1: "I'd like a large internet to go, please."
    Cashier: "Would you like to make it a combo with lolcats and a 16oz. v1agr@?"
    Customer 1: "No, thank you. Just the internet."
    Cashier: "Here you go, that will be $potato-oh-three."
    Customer 1: [pays, leaves]
    Cashier: "Hi, welcome to Earl Webz, can I take your order?"
    Customer 2: "No, I already ordered and there's a problem. I asked for no Bing on my internets and there's Bing on my internets."
    Cashier: "I'm sorry, sir, I'll have the cook remake them for you."
    Customer 2: "And don't just scrape it off like you did last time! I want fresh internets! I'd better not see any Geocities on it, either!"
    Cashier: "Of course, sir. They're remaking them right now."
    Customer 2: "Thank you." [steps aside]
    Cashier: "Hi, welcome to Earl Webz, can I take your order?"
    Customer 3: "Do you have any vegan internets?"
    Cashier: "Yes, we do! We have the PETA pita vegan special!"
    Customer 3: "Great, I'll have one of those and a side of zombocom."
    Cashier: "Coming right up, that'll be $rutabaga-fifty."
    Customer 3: [pays, leaves]
    Cashier: "Hi, welcome to Earl Webz, can I take your order?"
    Customer 4: "Big Mac, fries, Coke. No ice."
    Cashier: "I'm sorry, we don't serve those here, try across the street."
    Customer 4: "So you're not going to give me a Big Mac, fries, and a coke, no ice?"
    Cashier: "No, we don't have those."
    Customer 4: "Well this is terrible customer service. I'm going to call your head office and complain!"
    Cashier: [rolls eyes]
    Customer 2: "There's still bing on my internets! I told you I didn't want no got-damn Bing! I hate Bing! It tastes like armpit!"
    Cashier: "I'm sorry, sir, I will make sure they--
    Manager [to cashier]: "Hey, sorry, I need you for a cleanup in the dining area."
    Cashier: "Isn't there someone else that can do it? I've got a big lineup here."
    Manager: "Sorry, we need everybody on this, someone didn't finish their spam internet and now it's grown to fill half the room."

    Adores: 28
    • 2011 April 21

      Could you do the Wikipedia, eBay, spam and Google without the spam then?

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 April 21

        Of course, sir! But just so you know, there's an excessive shipping charge on the eBay topping.

        Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 21

      Can I get an internet with Firefox, extra crispy, and a side of YouTube for dessert?
      And where can I get a plate for the Linux build-your-own bar?

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 April 21

        Absolutely, would you like your Firefox on a regular or sesame seed bun? Also, the Linux bar is $mango-ninety-nine all-you-can-eat, but we're out of pr0n sauce and we won't be apt-getting any until Monday.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          I'll pass on the email chain kabobs, I've heard on the news that the guy putting those together has a virus.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21

          Sesame seed please, lightly toasted. If you're out of pron sauce, do you at least have those spicy pop-up croutons?

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21

          Well, you have your choice of kernels, front-ends, mailer daemons or a colourful assortment of detatched Screen process sprinkles. Our gcc may be a little flaky though so you might have trouble compiling everything.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          artsy computer geek permalink

          Can I get an order with extra cookies and pop-ups? My puter has been too fast lately.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          CapnMac permalink

          hmmm, "pudding flambé"

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21
        SisterLyle permalink

        I'll just have the YSaC special, hold the l337. Extra meme, please.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21

          With or without flaming pudding?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          Lola permalink

          Pudding not on fire - of course.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          SisterLyle permalink

          Naturally.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          Lara permalink

          It could be Pudding Jubilee

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          Lara permalink

          I really really want to hug your owl for some reason Sister Lyle. That look on it's face looks like it needs a hug. And its so fluffy.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          mudslicker permalink

          I'd like mine Venti with a side order of 404-File Not Found.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          *Bursts into the room*

          PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!

          *Runs away*

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          Lola permalink

          Could I get a Trenta-size internet? I need to catch Taco and The Thong in it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          *SNAP!*

          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          Camille permalink

          They're Taco and The Thong
          Yes, Taco and The Thong
          One is a foodstuff
          The other's a thong.
          Their typos are so dire
          Their pudding's not on fire
          They're wacko
          They're Taco and The Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong!

          Adores: 16
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "What are we going to do tonight, Thong?"

          "The same thing we do every night, Taco..."

          *Snap!*

          *Jingly Jingly Jingly*

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Also, for your health, I recommend NOT thinking about me jingling around in the TacoThong every night.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21

          You did that on purpose, didn't you? You told people not to think about you in the thong to induce pink elephant syndrome. You really want people to think about you in the TacoThong. Well, I'm on to your perverse psychology, man. I know your tricks, and I won't be-- AAUGH!

          DAMN YOU!

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 April 21

          I think there's a meme I missed. What's the deal with the pudding not on fire?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Here you go!

          Actually if you look at most of my posts that day I must have been out of my gourd on cold medication or something.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          ::returns from trip to the past::

          Ah, now I get it!*

          *This is entirely untrue. But at least now I understand why I don't get it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Also, hi Severus!

          And welcome back to you, too, B.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          Windrose permalink

          Camille, suggested alternate line:

          One is a food stuff, the other's just wrong.

          Just a suggestion!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          SisterLyle permalink

          Also, for your health, I recommend NOT thinking about me jingling around in the TacoThong every night.

          ...

          *dunks head in bleach bucket*

          Additional: Lara - I was going for the most surprised owl I could find. To me he looks like you just caught him doing something and he's rather startled about it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          It reminds me of how my cats look at me when I catch them cuddling each other at the foot of the bed during the day.... They just give me this look, like "excuse you!" And then they make ME feel all embarrassed, like I was the one with someone's nose in my tail.*

          *Ok, that sounds kinda gross.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          Yes. Yes it does...

          :looks around:

          Who had the bleach last?

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21

          Hey AR! Nice to see you again too! (From both me and Severus.)

          And Taco, thanks for the link to the whole pudding thing.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 22
          Dan permalink

          Hi. I'm drmk, and I might be drunk in a foreign country. I think I may have had something poignant to say about this post, but I've forgotten.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 22
          Dan permalink

          Hah! I'm showing up as Dan. Even better!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 22
          LimeLolly permalink

          I’m drmk, and I might be drunk in a foreign country. - I’m showing up as Dan. Even better!

          :snerk:

          Just keep the dancing down, some of us are trying to sleep. Not me, since I'm awake at 3:30 AM, but some of us.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 22
          Dan permalink

          What the hell, woman? (The ACTUAL Dan, whom drmk had better be nice to if she wants picked up from the airport later)

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 22
          Lola permalink

          I love it when the LN (BBUH) drunk posts.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 22
          TacoMagic permalink

          Now I don't feel twice as bad about when I drunk post.

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 21

      Can I have Fry's with mine?

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 21

        Fry's ... shiny metal ass? Did you want that in individual portions or the deluxe YouTube compilation?

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "Shiny Metal Ass"

          *Click*

          Noo-

          Oh... just a silver donkey. Ok then.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21

          Silly Ham, it didn't dawn on me that Fry's isn't a national chain...

          http://www.frys.com/ac/storelocator/index.jsp

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21

          "Honey, it's not what you think! I was just polishing my ass!"

          :holds up small metal donkey:

          "And watching Debbie Does Dallas."

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yeah, and their website is far inferior to actually going to one of the stores.

          Every time I visit my parents on the West coast I try to come up with an excuse to go to their Fry's.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          I only know about Fry's because I read reallifecomics.com :-p

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        Can't hold it in anymore!!!!

        D'AAWWWW, look at the tiny puppy!

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          The markings around her (I assume) nose looks like an inverted heart!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          D'AWWWW!

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 21
      SpaceBug permalink

      Can I have an extra helping of !femaletraits![2]!! over that? I'm meeting a business client.

      Adores: 4
  7. 2011 April 21

    I wouldn't touch that third internet - it's Cracked in the Youtube and totally Farked.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 April 21

      I really Digg what you're saying.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21
        Lara permalink

        derp

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21

          I got derped by the Llama-Derp!

          Squeee!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "Derp, derp, squee" is the new Hanson revival song. It's the unofficial sequel to "Um-bop".

          Adores: 4
  8. 2011 April 21
    Camille permalink

    Wouldn't it be great to have a bunch of these lying around, so that when you have occasion to say, "You win the internet," you could actually follow through?

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 21
      Lola permalink

      I was thinking along those lines myself - though it was more like, "But I've won elebenty internets before [for whatever that gets me]! Why would I want to pay for them?!?"

      Adores: 3
  9. 2011 April 21
    Hips of Steel permalink

    It's a series of tubes!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21
      Windrose permalink

      Vacuum tubes, with the glass conveniently removed?

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        Every time I see a vacuum tube I think about that.

        Ruined for life.

        Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 21

      A series of tubes filled with grammatically challenged cats and pictures of naked people.

      Yay internet!

      Adores: 11
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        "Safesearch is on"? What's that? Silly uncle Google, I don't need that!

        *Turns off Safesearch*

        Now what was I searching for again, or right! "Squirrel Costume."

        *Click*

        *Eyes get big and tear up*

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21

          I learned that lesson when I asked Uncle Google for pictures of toolboxes with Safesearch turned off.

          There are some oddly specific tool-related fetishes out there.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "Toolboxes"

          *click*

          ...

          *whimper*

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21

          "Oh, God. Oh, God -- what ... how? That's ... oh God. Oh, my God. Bent-nose pliers? I can't believe ... good God, oh ... ugh ... I can't ... and a Dremel! How do you even ... holy crap, I just can't -- wait. Wait, dad?! OH GOD."

          EDIT: This post was not intended to summon George Burns. Nonetheless, it did. I'm sorry that you had to see that, George.

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 April 29
          monkeypizzasonic permalink

          Rule 34.

          Adores: 0
  10. 2011 April 21
    TacoMagic permalink

    As a small buisness we were having trouble attracting fresh and low-cost college students. But, with our new internets, we're able to trap and haul in all the free labor we need!

    Thanks Internets!

    *Internets not responsible for interns not making coffee correctly or eating the last jelly doughnut. Nets are a series of tubes made from trylon coated durasteel. Offer not valid in Utah.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21
      Bombdude permalink

      Nothing* seems to be valid in Utah, anymore...

      *Excluding clan EB, of course, and any other YSaCers in residence there

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21

        You're right, Bombdude... I have to come here to be validated :-p

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          *Stamps EB's parking pass.*

          There you are!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21

          Exactly :-p

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          Yeah, I tend to inadvertently insult and alienate people all over the place... (just ask kelli) So I try to remember to put in a disclaimer whenever possible for the people whose opinions and feelings I care about

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          I'm well aware that I'm the demographical exception in the Snark Lounge... It's a hard thing not to have a sense of humor about :-p I'm even the minority in my family, so I've had years to hone my humor-related free nerve endings :-p

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Bomby, you're talking to MR. Foot-in-the-mouth over here. I usually stop to think about what I'm about to say about 30 seconds after I've already said it and inadvertently insulted/upset somebody.

          My sarcastic nature doesn't really help things either, because when I'm trying to be sincere, I sound exactly the same as when I'm being mocking and ingenuous.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          Hey Buddy!!

          :high five's:

          :misses, cause we're nerds/dorks:

          :goes back to counting and sorting hard drive magnets:

          Adores: 4
  11. 2011 April 21
    Windrose permalink

    Come on, Sparky, how can I email you if I don't have an Internets yet? Are they like new, still in the box? Will you take a firm obo? How on earth did you-- SHINY!

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 21
      TacoMagic permalink

      Just because you have one internet, doesn't mean you have nearly enough! Remember, the more internets you have the- SQUIRREL!

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21
        LimeLolly permalink

        Welcome to Interwackynets

        Population: Too nuts and one squirrel

        Adores: 9
    • 2011 April 21

      Do these internets come with that new "xxx" domain, because - PECIL!

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 21
      Lara permalink

      Internets can be extremely-BADGER IN MY PANTS!!!

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21
      Steve permalink

      GUMMY BEARS!

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 April 21
        Bombdude permalink

        Hopefully not in your pants... cause those get sticky in those warm nether regions, and turn into a big gooey* mess...

        I mean... that's what I've heard... yeah! I *HEARD* that once... from someone...

        *Good Lord for a minute there, I couldn't remember how to spell this other than GUI...

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21

          I really hope your pants don't have a messy GUI.

          Adores: 0
  12. 2011 April 21

    Leftover Internets – $5

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I have 3 internets for sale.
    These are the large kind, they are extras I used for testing when I invented the darn thing.

    One is fifteen feet wide, same width as my ego.
    The other two are 6 feet, same depth I buried myself on this global warming deal.

    email Al Gore if interested

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 April 21
      Lara permalink

      Three internets for sale, slightly used with a stain on the bandwidth. Pictures of my penis on request. Oh wait, the damn thing fell off after I used Viagra. Pictures of a Cock-a-sorus Rex upon request. By that I mean a picture of a lion.

      It's not.a.lion!!

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 21
        Lara permalink

        I think I may be losing it. My paper is almost done and I am losing my mind. What was left of it. Pull my medula oblongata and I may start singing "Love Me Tender"

        Adores: 1
  13. 2011 April 21
    TacoMagic permalink

    The internet is really, really great!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21

      The Internet is for porn.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 21
        Lara permalink

        Tree and furniture porn.

        http://www.furnitureporn.com/furnporn1.html

        http://treeporn.tumblr.com/

        These sites are not bad, just so you all know so you won't be scared to click on them.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 21
        Angel permalink

        Why you think the net was born?
        Porn, porn, porn!

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          It's a good thing that I have a fast connection, so I don't have to wait...

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 21

      The internet is really, really great!

      >Kathryn?

      Adores: 1
  14. 2011 April 21
    Windrose permalink

    *hears jingly jingly coming from the box*

    I certainly hope Lola and Lara got out in time!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 21
      Lola permalink

      I did, but not before I got that earworm this morning. I was on my way to the subway and it was all I could not to shout "Taco! Get out of my brain!"

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 April 21
        CapnMac permalink

        Would the average metro-rider even notice anything as mild as "Taco, out of my brain" unless the person shouting that was wearing tinfoil and fuscia-magenta fur?

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 April 21
          Lola permalink

          We see people like that all the time, so the answer is probably no.

          What gets my attention fastest? Smell. A person can be oddly dressed and muttering to themselves, but as long as I am not olfactorily assaulted, I'm probably not paying them that much attenti0n (until they start shouting or touching me). I have actually determined that there are certain trains which seem to be preferred for ... overnight stays, in which individuals appear to believe there is an en-suite bathroom (there isn't).
          I adjust my travel accordingly.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, quite.
          I was trying to not include the olfactory "experience" of some transit systems in my query, partially out of decorum, partly for not wanting to confuse the issue at hand.
          Especially given that, if one steps in the car and notices that said vehicle smells of both tacos and brrraaaaaaaiiiins, Murphy will insist on the doors closing behind you just before the reflex to flee the Zomb

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 April 21
      Lara permalink

      Windy, if you are a moderator could you take a look at my comment waiting for approval? I swear it's not bad.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21
        Windrose permalink

        Done. Should be here any minute.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          Windrose permalink

          Lara, still waiting for bird seed. Still. Waiting.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 22
          Lara permalink

          Crap, how'd you know?

          Adores: 0
  15. 2011 April 21
    Yancy permalink

    Don't try selling this to people from China. Their government will confiscate it and come after you. Chinese customers are only allowed to buy the most stripped-down model of internet, which compared to the bundles of tubes offered in this ad is just a box of straws.

    Oh, and whoever buys this guy's internets, wash your hands after handling the one that's 15 feet wide. Or better yet, wear gloves. That's the one the person selling uses to browse adult sites during personal t-shirt time. Don't let it come close to the 6-foot-wide one with stickers, 'cause that's the kids-only internet. And don't shake up too much the other 6-foot-wide one, the one that looks like it's dressed business-casual. That's the internet where everything else resides, including this site. If you shake it too much, the few non-pron non-child sites in the internet might start looking like a giant wordsearch.

    Adores: 6
  16. 2011 April 21
    Lara permalink

    The real question is will these internets keep hair out of food. If they are that large, I know a few very hairy men who should wrap themselves in these before they cook anything.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 April 21
    Lara permalink

    Get your lighters ready

    If I buy Sparky's red table
    Would you still talk to me?
    For I must have his internets
    'Cause the CARSEAT IS PINK
    and the truck is full of bees

    But, if I lost my python
    Things just couldn't be the same
    'Cause its still in the couch now
    And it's rotting with my change
    Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

    And my dead aunt left a stain
    And my dead aunt left a stain
    Lord knows, I've got jewelry!
    Bye, bye, Parrot from 2004

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 April 21
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      *clicks Bedazzled deer hooves together in applause*

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21
      Windrose permalink

      Lighter? There's an app for that!

      Adores: 2
  18. 2011 April 21
    Todd permalink

    I'm sorry if I'm being That Guy (TM) but I don't see how this could be anything other than a deliberate joke.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 21
      TacoMagic permalink

      I think part of the funny here is that yes it's probably a joke; however, if it is a joke, it's not a very good one. So really, this is sucking at craigslist twice in one posting:

      It's both a terrible ad AND a lame joke.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 April 21
      Lara permalink

      You're that guy?! Dude, I hear about you all the time. I can't believe I am meeting you! Will you give me your autograph?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        Internets, Red Tables, Not.A.Lion, That Guy

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          I'm happy that some people actually seemed to get that reference.

          I'm rather surprised that I got that reference seeing as it's from about 15 years before I was born.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          :Shakes cane at TM:

          Get off my lawn, you young whippersnapper!!!

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 April 21

      [corey] I actually don't think it's a joke. It's probably some technical illiterate who doesn't know what to call Ethernet cables and only knows they're where the Internet comes from. I've dealt with far worse in my tech days. [/corey]

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        That actually makes a lot of sense, MF. I've had a doctor ask me, "Can you pump the internet into the computer here? I can't get on google today so the pipes are probably gunked up."

        No, he wasn't being metaphorical.

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 April 21
        CapnMac permalink

        That gels the "missing word' my brain was searching for--"cable."

        So, Spark' has a beefy 2m and 3m cable with attached terminals. Sadly, we have no way to ascertain whether these are coaxial or twisted pair cables. Even if these were co-ax, we still do not know if the connectors are threaded or Ethernet bayonet-lock (or, heavens forfend, the "thin ethernet" friction fittings...)

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Not to mention that $5 is a horrible price for either size of RJ-45 terminated twisted pair cables that are, presumably, in used condition.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Wow, just looked up Cat5 cables with Radio Shack; new 2m cable is six and change; 3m is eleven bucks.
          And, that's for a useful cable.
          I'd still give odds that this is RG-6 (or RG-38) with BNCs.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          "Radio Shack" was your first mistake when doing a price check. ;-)

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          Yeah, you shoulda checked Best Buy (TM) ;-)

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

          *GASP WHEEZE*

          ...

          AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 April 22
        Lara permalink

        stop talking about me

        Adores: 0
  19. 2011 April 21
    CapnMac permalink

    [topic]
    Off topic entire.

    Today (well, here in Central Time Zone; yesterday for Jen in NZ) it is 21 April.

    On this day, in 1836, on a flood plain of the San Jacinto river, the forces of Sam Houston routed the main body of the Host of Don Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna. The rout was so complete and devastating that Generalisimo Santa Ana was later captured in a Private's uniform hiding in the marshes near what is now League City. This victory was fundamental to the creation of the Republic of Texas.

    This date has been long recognized in Texas. It used to be a State holiday and observed widely--sadly the pace of modern life and the periodic proximity to Passover and Easter have eclipsed the state-wide observations.

    However, here at the State's first founded University, the day become one to mark the experience of the alumni and of their lives after graduation. Having a history of being a military training school, that remembrance included many who had served to the fullest extreme. In their honor, a roll call was begun. In this roll call, when a name is read, a comrade or Class-mate answers "Here" for those who cannot. For far better description that I can attain, http://muster.tamu.edu/

    "Here."
    [/restore topic]

    Adores: 2
  20. 2011 April 21
    TacoMagic permalink

    [OT]
    In case everyone here had illusions to the contrary: Engineers are huge dorks/geeks. During lunch today not only did a co-worker and I compare our respective hard-drive magnet collections, but we had a rather heated debate on whether Centipede or Joust was a better arcade game.

    During the discussion one of our other co-workers overheard our conversation and told us that we were both insane. According to him, Donkey Kong is obviously superior to both.

    We went on to discuss how we could create some of the vehicles from the old M.A.S.K. show using spare parts from the X-ray room we just de-installed.
    [/OT]

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 April 21

      Silly engineers.

      Everyone knows Space Invaders is the best arcade game.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        That was my point against Centipede. It was just a re-imagining of Space Invaders whereas Joust was a unique invention.

        As for "best" well, that's another topic entirely...

        The best is quite obviously Asteroids.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          Crystal Castles. And Mr. Do's Castle. And Tron. And Robotron 2084. And Super Sprint.

          These are what is best in life. That, and to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          mudslicker permalink

          Human Centipede was like that too.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21
          Windrose permalink

          Not to stray TOO far off topic of this off topic, but yesterday I was talking with the clerical folks whose desks are just behind my new location. We were discussing the up-coming Royal Wedding, and I mentioned that it's on the 29th of April. One of the clerks said, "That's their Saturday, because they're a day ahead of us." I began to explain that the calendar doesn't adjust that way, but gave it up. I give her credit for at least knowing the UK exists in a different time zone.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 April 21
          Bombdude permalink

          :sigh: Yep... humanity is doomed...

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21
          Camille permalink

          My favorite arcade game was Carnival. I used to play it in an actual arcade.

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21

        Space Invaders is the only game I ever got a perfect score on, the most possible points you could get. I beat it when I was like 3 or 4.

        Today's videogames, on the other hand, I'm terrible at. Too many buttons and combaintions and functions. Althout I have a Wii, I spend more time playing Tetris and Pacman on my cellphone.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 21

          I have a Wii but I primarily use it to watch Netflix movies on the TV and rarely to play a game. I play more games on the computer or my iPod than the Wii.

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 21

      In other news, I think it would be completely awesome to be a geek at a hospital. For money! :-p

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 April 21
        TacoMagic permalink

        I do like working here, yes.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 April 21

          And then I could look at the frazzled nurses, and say "There but for the grace of GPA I go..."

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21

          *ahem* my wife's a nurse and she graduated cum laude from Georgetown*ahem*

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 April 21
          Windrose permalink

          If you love what you do, it doesn't matter what your GPA was. Or is. And if you don't love what other people do, it will never look worthwhile to you. But there is a place for everyone. *cue sappy musical ending*

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 April 22

          Ahh, I think you misinterpreted me, jg. My problem was that I didn't work hard enough/get the grades to get into the nursing program... BYU's nursing program is INSANELY competitive, so I gave up and went for exercise science--no need to apply to the program :-p

          Adores: 0
  21. 2011 April 22
    Windrose permalink

    TacoMagic, here's another Punchity (jingly) Punch (jing) Punch (gly)!

    G'Night, ARPA!

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 April 22
      TacoMagic permalink

      I don't know how I feel about Windrose punching me in the TacoThong.

      Adores: 0
  22. 2011 April 22
    Ralph permalink

    No wonder the internets are available -- millions of files are being downloaded every minute, so the web will become totally empty very soon.

    Have you downloaded any files recently? Please, upload them back!

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 April 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      I have a couple of malware files and trojan programs that I don't need.

      :uploads back to the internet:

      Adores: 4
  23. 2011 April 25
    minetruly permalink

    Could... could these objects possibly be trampolines? Cuz I can totally see how someone could think the word for "trampoline" is "internet." And the size is right.

    Adores: 0
  24. 2011 April 29
    monkeypizzasonic permalink

    I'VE GOT A RED INTERNET FOR SALE, YOU CAN TAKE IT FOR FREE

    Adores: 1
  25. 2013 September 21

    Oh, dear. It is the end of the blog as we know it. The internets are for sale and we have to pack up the Snark Lounge and find somewhere else to put the corners. How can we point and laugh at Sparky when our haunted raptor and deer carcass swing set are packed in the winterbagel?

    Adores: 1
  26. 2013 September 21
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I can't help but think these are some kind of game nets. Volley ball, badminton or such.

    Inter[changeable]nets.

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 September 21
      P-Rex permalink

      Couldn't say, I'm more about webz. Netz and the nutz that sell them are outside my knowledge area.

      Adores: 2
  27. 2013 September 21
    HamCan permalink

    "In the morning I cast my internet into the sea.

    I dragged up from the dark abyss things of strange aspect and strange beauty -- some shone like a smile, some glistened like tears, some were flushed like the cheeks of a bride, but most were pron."

    Adores: 4
  28. 2013 September 21
    windrose permalink

    Yo!

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 September 21
      nojazzhere permalink

      YOLO!

      by the way...pinball is the best arcade game!

      Adores: 2
  29. 2013 September 22

    jg and zeroetc, Don't Stop Snarking! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Adores: 0
  30. 2013 September 22

    Looks like we are only getting one redux per weekend too. Sigh.

    Adores: 0

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