YSaC, Vol. 980: I have a dreem…

2011 May 3

Hey woofren! Have we got a man for you!

the dreem – m4mw


you whant to make the dreem for you wife o woofren iam here iam ready for make the dreem for you women

At least, I think he’s a man. He might be a woman. Or possibly an ocelot. Who knows? But don’t wait, contact him (her? it?) today! You know you whant to!

Thanks, Litarider! I think it’s time for a tag of your own, as well! How’s “LR” for you?

123 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 May 2
    Windrose permalink

    I wonder who is more confused, me or the person who posted this?

    Adores: 6
  2. 2011 May 2
    SilvaNoir permalink

    “Woofren”? Well, that does sound like the sound my dog makes when she’s dreaming and kicking her legs around.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 2
      Lola permalink

      Woofren = collective noun for a group of barking dogs.

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 May 3

        Das ist die Deutsch collektiv noun fur die voofenschnauzer.

        Eine voofenschnauzer.
        Zwei voofenschnauzer.
        Drei voofenschnauzer.
        Eine woofren der voofenschnauzer. RUNNEN! IST EIN WOOFREN DER VOOFENSCHNAUZER MIT DER SHARPENCHOPPERS!

        Adores: 24
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyleTacoNunja permalink

          *chucks a couple more doors at MF for giving me the uncontrollable giggles at work*

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3

          BORK BORK BORK!

          EDIT: Also, it appears over the top self naming may just run in the family. Well done, Lyle, well done indeed.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          The best part is running this through Google translate. It can almost do it… But not quite.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 3
        Yancy permalink

        make the dreem for you women

        At first I had the sneaking suspicion woofren was this guy’s concept of the plural form of “wife”. When I got to the section quoted above, I was completely convinced. This guy’s a polygamist who thinks he’s able to make other men seem like God’s gift to women. I’m glad he felt the need to share his secret ’cause this post was a good start to yet another cubicle-bound day.

        Adores: 4
  3. 2011 May 3
    LimeLolly permalink

    Bacontine is gonna be jealous. Somebody hide the can of ‘Whoop-Ass’.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 May 3

      Bacontini has no reason to worry. This person : Bacontini :: “bacon” bits : bacon.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 3

      This is what I get for commenting without reading what’s already been said.

      *Grumble grumble*

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      Camille permalink

      Funny, I immediately thought of Bacontini too. The more I see of the Craigslist dating pool, the better the meat-flavored cocktail starts to look.

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      Bacontini was my first thought too. He constantly “make the dreem for you women” but generally more coherently. For a bacon martini.

      Adores: 5
  4. 2011 May 3

    What the fuck was that? Can’t even snark about it.

    Adores: 1
  5. 2011 May 3

    Dreem on, Sparckay.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 3

      Would you happen to be a WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN! WOOFREN?!

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        Sometimes. Maybe. On the second Monday of every month.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyle permalink

          We have to move the furniture, all the medical machinery, and all the plants off the floors at work on the second Tuesday of every month so the lazy floor guys and buff the floors. It’s really irritating.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3

          We’ve got to move these refrigerators, we’ve got to move these color TVs….

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 May 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          SisterLyleNunjaTaco — maybe you could make a music video about it, become very rich and remember us all fondly (not fondling ).

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyle permalink

          Mental image does not compute… warning, system shut down eminate. Please place data storage unit into brain bleach immediately to prevent complete loss of function.

          I’ll be in the corner >.< Blarg.

          Adores: 3
  6. 2011 May 3

    I had a dream once; it involved a dozen tortoises, Zachary Levy, an abacus, and a two pound bag of M & Ms.

    Can you make that dream come true, Sparky? Pretty please?

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      At least you don’t dream of waffles…

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      SisterLyle permalink

      Or being chased by ketchup.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 May 3
        Artsy Computer Geek permalink

        Is the ketchup in those little fast food packets?

        (No I don’t know why I’m asking.)

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyle permalink

          It was actually TacoGrandma. She had a dream once she was being chased by a giant ketchup bottle. I assume the old glass kind.

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      mudslicker permalink

      I dreem of Dreemsicles.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 3

        Orrrrrrr………PUDDING NOT ON FIRE!!!!!!!

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyleTacoNunja permalink

          Yes, because if the pudding was on fire, it would be a nightmare.

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 3
      Lola permalink

      This is a M4MW post , ghostcat, so you do realize that if it’s a threesome scene, Sparky is offering to join you* and that cute Mr. Levi, right?

      I’d rather involve one of the tortoises, frankly. I bet they are better spellers.

      *Supertanker of brain bleach already on its way.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 3
        mudslicker permalink

        She thought it said M4M&M.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          No, no… clearly it’s m(utt)4m(o)w. Dog for cat. All the elaborate code is to throw off those interspecies-dating bigots.

          Adores: 7
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        MW=Man Woofren?

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3
          CapnMac permalink

          Exactly.
          Or semi-precisely, perhaps, since I’m not “up” on the subtleties of initials classified singles-speak.
          So. I’ve assumed (yes, yo sé que soy un burro)
          M4W is man “for” woman
          W4M is woman “for” man
          and so on–if with a confusion of should a male person peruse W4M or M4W?

          So, M4MW scanned as man for man-woman, and then that song lyric on “she was a he” earworms me, and I need to bash my head with the bricks again (or attempt to sort out where the TCP/IP stack address is in the Registry for my stinking desktop computer which refuses to communicate through its network connection . . . )

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      I had a dream where I grew shrimp under a flap on my skin and I sold them for a tidy profit. They kept growing back and I was rich. But I still had shrimp on my arm. Plus I am vegetarian.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 3

        That sounds like the most disgusting dream ever. And I’m not a vegetarian.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 3
          Lara permalink

          It was.

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      Yutolia permalink

      One would hope your diet allows you to eat M&Ms. I am currently on a low glycemic index diet (and have been for the past 3 years). I no longer have any sugar cravings, and don’t actually miss candy/sugary treats anymore. However, I do occasionally have nightmares that I have eaten candy or something like that, and fallen completely off the wagon. I am very glad when I wake up and realize that it was all just a dream.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 3
        Addicted Reader permalink

        I can’t imagine living like that. Sounds like my worst nightmare.

        Adores: 1
  7. 2011 May 3

    If I’m interpreting that speeling correctly, I’m reading “dream,” “wife” and “warfarin.” Creepy.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 3
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, yes, decreasing the clotting factor in a potential spouse does raise a number of questions, ethical and pharmaceutical . . .

      Adores: 2
  8. 2011 May 3
    mudslicker permalink

    woofren = woo + friend = woo friend = girlfriend.

    Babblefish must be on the fritzen.

    Adores: 6
  9. 2011 May 3

    I keep telling Bacontini that his methods lack subtlety.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      Yes but he’s so charming. And fragrant.

      Adores: 4
  10. 2011 May 3

    This post reminds me of that popular program in the 60s. I Dreem of Gene.

    I was never a very big fan of Gene Shalit myself, but I guess that mustache just entrances… some…

    MUSTACHE NOT ON FIRE!

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      I really think the eyebrows made his…

      EYEBROWS NOT ON FIRE!

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      OMG, Gene Shalit isn’t flaming!

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      SpaceBug permalink

      Ok, now I’ve got a Roseanne Roseannadanna earworm from an SNL sketch.

      Adores: 3
  11. 2011 May 3

    There are…well…just…

    So.Many.Questions.

    It’s “m4m”, but Sparky is here for de women? And, apparently he’s willing to drug your woman to make you? Him? The collective cast of “Rent”…what? Desireable? Illiterate?

    He has a dreem alright. It’s commonly referred to as “nightmare” in our culture, Sir Sparks-A-Lot.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 May 3

      Hallo. I am dreem for ladees. You are ladees? I am make dreem for you. You are not need for roofees, for I am ready to look at the dreemy man of man for wifes ladees. I am for to make the dreem of for you in the woofren ruddle panties. Will you not dreem me? You dreem me OK womens ub.

      Adores: 10
      • 2011 May 3

        Leave it to the freaky-puppy to swoop in and explain it all so, so, so…clearly, yeah that’s the word.

        So.Clearly.

        Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 3

        You copy that from one of your spam comments there, MF?

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3

          You’d think, but lately all I’ve been getting on the blog are blatant multi-link posts. In Polish. Dozens of them, literally, over the May Day weekend. It was rather annoying. (The spam catcher caught them, though, so I didn’t have to do anything save for one non-Polish spam of the “your site is awesome the information is relevant I’m going to be bookmarking it!” variety which are just boring.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3
          Lara permalink

          Polish Spam? How exotic. I’ve only seen Norwegian Spam which is particularly amusing. Unless of course you don’t like spam.

          spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 3

          Polish spam is similar, but comes in a sausage casing and has more pepper in it. It is also much more likely to cause a vowel obstruction.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 3

          I don’t get any spam yet, but when I do I’m hoping it’s Finnish.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3

          I’d settle for some nice German spam.

          Ist dein wienershrinken? Ich kan helpen sie biggen dein wiener mit der Viagren fur die better stuffenbutt! Der fraulein nicht liken der floppendong, Viagaren maken der pooperstuffer throbinen gigantisch wie ein horsen! Mit haben der Cialisch, also. Visiten der http://www.nichtderfloppendong.de fur eine große pumperdicken jetzt!

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 3
          Artsy Computer Geek permalink

          I never realized there were all these different types of spam. I though there was just the one that comes in the blue can at the grocery store on the shelf next to the potted meat. (I was never brave enough to see exactly what “potted meat” was).

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3

          When it comes to potted meat, Steve’s got you covered.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3

          I’ve gotten German spam before. It was for a handykunden, which I thought was much more interesting until my friend translated the word to “cell phone”.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3

          I’ve gotten no spam in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men.

          I have, however, gotten visitors from America, Canada, France, Italy, New Zealand, Russia, and Turkey. Also, I’ve had three people reach me via Google. The first person got there with “ephemeris times”. The second and third got there with “markis parker trokers”, likely because YSaC is in my blogroll.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3
          Lola permalink

          Heeeeey, Jailbait changed his avatar. 8)

          *corner*

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3

          I’m not sure whether I should be creeped out by that or not.

          So instead, I’ll just shuffle off awkwardly.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3
          Lola permalink

          Good choice, because I’m not sure I creeped myself out or not either.

          *shuffles off sheepishly*

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 3
        SisterLyle permalink

        Reading that and then looking at the smiling puppy made me nearly snort with giggles. Damn you, MF! You’re making me titter copiously today!

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3

          I am here for de titters.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 3
          LimeLolly permalink

          *Takes Mindfield to the farm*

          Look at all them titters. You’re welcome.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 May 3

          Kids, we gave Creepy Puppy to a farm, where he’ll be happier.

          Adores: 16
    • 2011 May 3
      mudslicker permalink

      No, it’s “m4mw” male for many woofren

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 May 3

        Thanks, mudsy, that’s sooooo much better!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3
          mudslicker permalink

          I’m a helper.

          :)

          Adores: 4
  12. 2011 May 3
    Windrose permalink

    Here is where I would have made a snarky comment, if the ad didn’t leave me dazed and corn-fused. Carry on, I’ll check in later.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      I have that problem with corn too. Wait, what were we talking about?

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 May 3
        Windrose permalink

        *gives the llamaderp a refreshing alfalfa drink and takes her to the auntie couch*

        You’ll be fine after a nice lie-down.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3

          Derp Derp Squee!
          Derp De-derp De-derp Squee Squee!

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Is the auntie couch in the same room as the great aunt armoire?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 May 3

          *Dons the Great Aunt Armoire of Invincibility*

          I’m *ungh* unstoppable *huf* now!

          Boy *pant* this thing *oof* is heavy.

          Adores: 6
  13. 2011 May 3
    ToBScholarly permalink

    Woofren = a heavy metal band composed of CL daters who cannot spell… or identify gender.

    Adores: 6
  14. 2011 May 3
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Does it come in Tangerine?

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 3
      SisterLyleTacoNunja permalink

      Well, it’s got a slight citrus scent but I wouldn’t call it Tangerine. More of a Tangelo.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        No Holy Vanilla?

        Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 3
      LurkRealClose permalink

      Tangerine, tangerine, living reflection of a dreem
      I was your woofren, you were my queen
      And now the restraining order’s come between

      la la la la laaaaaa lala

      Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 3

      No Tangerine Dream for you. You did not go to the Academy.

      Adores: 3
  15. 2011 May 3
    SisterLyleTacoNunja permalink

    the deem – m4mw

    you what to make the deem for you wife o woofer aim here aim ready for make the deem for you women

    And somehow, running this through the spell-checker has done nothing to clarify the offer.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 May 3

      Which means that yes kids, that’s right, it’s time once again for “Spell Checking Sparky – IN LATINAM!”

      te creem – m4mw

      Cous edant o male te creem for Cous bifer o offerens iam gere iam realis for male te creem for Cous omen

      Tamen non intelligo quid dixisti, Sparce!

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 May 3
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Yup, lots better.

        Adores: 2
  16. 2011 May 3
    Lara permalink

    If I had a wife or a woofren, Sparky would be the first maybe-a-person I would call. Then I would call the poison control center about the hallucinations and the Pledge I just ate because it smelled lemony fresh.

    Adores: 6
  17. 2011 May 3
    SisterLyle permalink

    *glance at the box, squees, and starts setting up a massage table.* Get the cocktails, Sven! I’m in the box again!

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 3
      Windrose permalink

      In the box again!
      SisterLyle is in the box again!
      She’s so happy sipping cocktails with her Sven,
      We can’t wait ’til she’s in the box again.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        I didn’t realize SisterLyle liked da ladies and possibly woofren.

        *goes to the corner*

        Adores: 0
  18. 2011 May 3
    Lola permalink

    “Awww-roooooo …
    Woofren of London …”

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 May 3
      Lara permalink

      I love this earworm!

      Adores: 0
  19. 2011 May 3

    Hey wait a damn minute!

    Didn’t Angle end up running Woofren and Heart during the last season?

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 May 3
      Lola permalink

      Somewhat related to this:
      Our collection has a title called Modern Legal Ethics by someone named Wolfram, and when I showed it to a coworker who is also familiar with the Buffyverse, we had a giggle over it.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 May 3
        mudslicker permalink

        Modern Legal Ethics? Did the book explode?

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 May 3

          A Quantum Irony Singularity formed as the book collapsed in on itself.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 3
          Windrose permalink

          Oh dear. Did you call Bombdude to dispose of it? Or is that why he hasn’t been on here for a while?

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 May 3
          Lola permalink

          I’ve never opened it. I suspect the effect is the same as dividing by zer-
          oh shi-

          Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 3
        CapnMac permalink

        [names triva corey]
        Wolfram is the German version of Ramiro.

        Which makes more sense than how Giuseppe = William.

        The Italian diminutive for Giuseppe is “Bepe” (beh-PAY).

        And the Mexican diminutive for Ignacio is Nacho.
        [/corey]

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 May 3

          And then you’ve got Istanbul, which is Constantinople, and it’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 May 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          That’s a good earworm to take to bed.

          ;)

          Adores: 0
  20. 2011 May 3
    SisterLyle permalink

    OT

    Holy crap, Taco has a blog now? How did I miss this? *smacks brother with a shoe* Way to up the bar.

    /OT

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3

      Everyone else is doing it… I bowed to peer pressure.

      I’m still tweaking everything so an announcement seemed a bit premature.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 3
        SisterLyle permalink

        God, now I’m feeling the pressure! Oh noes! *flees*

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3

          As per the gamer test:

          You should try Fandemonium. It’s almost in your backyard and is pretty cheap as cons go.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 May 3
          SisterLyle permalink

          Hhmmmm…. *ponders*

          Adores: 1
  21. 2011 May 3
    SisterLyle permalink

    OT

    HOLY HELL!

    /OT

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 3

      Elaborate.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      Is your tourettes acting up again?

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 May 3
      SisterLyle permalink

      It’s that sort of day is all. I felt the undeniable urge to yell ‘holy Hell’ to someone but it was inappropriate for work so… yeah. Emergency walk-ins are fun, since we’re a ‘no parvo’ and ‘no walk-in’ clinic. And when the dog is leaking bloody diarrhea onto our floor and we have NO history of this pet, it makes us all a little irate. Sufficient to say we have all been well bleached to the point that the clinic cat was rolling around high.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        I think that qualifies for a Holy Hell

        Adores: 0
  22. 2011 May 3
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Umm…

    No.

    I’m pretty sure if I think about this at all, I will turn into a Sparky. Even thinking about thinking about it is making my brain hurt.

    Adores: 4
  23. 2011 May 3
    Yutolia permalink

    One would hope that an ocelot would have more sense than this, but I guess one never knows…

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 May 3
      CapnMac permalink

      I volunteered at a feral cat shelter and had the privilege of getting to care for an ocelot.

      House cat in near dog-size dimensions a fascinating experience. Although occasionally blurring the playing with and being playtoy line a bit.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 May 3
      SilvaNoir permalink

      What do ocelots dreem of? a nice palm tree to lounge in?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 May 3
        Lara permalink

        Ocelots dream about the same thing electric sheep do only with catnip.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 May 3
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Mouse robots???

          Adores: 0
  24. 2011 May 3
    CapnMac permalink

    I had just finished John Ringo’s “Through the Looking Glass” with its account of the Dreen War (now reading Vorpal Blade in the edda).

    Was considering seeing if Spark’ was posting in the Oviedo, FL CL and was just too close to the Chen Anomoly, but, I realized I was jus dreemin . . .

    Adores: 0
  25. 2011 May 3
    SisterLyle permalink

    An Aside

    I’ll be taking a brief hiatus from YSaC. I’ll be back sunday-monday-ish. G’night!

    /aside

    Adores: 0
  26. 2011 May 4
    Windrose permalink

    No body reads the punches anymore, so I may just discontinue it. 8) Punch your own card, Sis!

    Good Morning, Montgomery!

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 May 4
      Addicted Reader permalink

      You do it after I’ve gone to bed, but I usually check the next morning!

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 May 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      I was going to say something about you forgetting, but thought maybe you decided not to after Sis said she was going to be gone for the rest of the week.

      I always read the punches. Nobody has the flair that you do, WR.

      Adores: 1

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