YSaC, Vol. 990: And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Sparky.
2011 May 14
Did someone yesterday mention the undead Veggie Tales? Well, be careful what you wish for, because here at YSaC, we have a large backlog of stupid.*
5 barley used veggie tales dvds – $20
Well, they are Veggie Tales DVDs … of course they’re going to be barley used.**
And just because it’s Saturday and I’m posting about vegetables, here’s another bad vegetable-related title for you:
4 Pees in a Pod, Ring – $40
No, thank you. I’ve already eaten.
Thanks, Ralph and Rachael!
*Actually, this one is pretty recent, which is why I remembered it.
**True story, and even somewhat related: a couple of winters ago, Dan and I ate lunch at a ski resort where the soup of the day on offer was “Beef Barely.” And indeed, it was, in fact, barely beef.
My childhood was shattered when I was informed that cucumbers and tomatoes are fruits, not veggies. Talk about heartbreak. Since than I’ve never been able to sing along with my hairbrush.
Although a veggie ring might be cool. I want mine to be a head of lettuce instead of some lame peas.
Well I am vegetarian but I still sing about people being my cheeseburger. I would say sing to that hair brush with all your operatic ability!
Ah-kun, read the ring ad again. Someone has been doing something naughty in the veggie patch.
And now it’s time for scary songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry urinates on the french peas.
“Uh huh huh huh mais oui!”
*singing* Why do you need a hairbrush? You haven’t got any hair.
Wait, isn’t a veggie ring something you get from a specialist (hopefully) piercing establishment?
Where did this corner come from?
Hmm, could a veggie ring also be a cabal of those eschewing consumption of meat?
(I’m just hoping it’s not a larder of diminished-capacity meals for Zomb
It depends on what the barley was using the DVDs for.
Drink coasters? OK.
Tiny fragile Frisbees? Still OK.
Alone T-shit time? Nope.
Open the pod bay doors Hal, I really have to go!
At least you’re already house trained. I’m not sure about the freaky puppy, we’ll have to see.
I’m afraid I can’t let you do that in the house, Dave.
Beef Barely? Pikers! “Today’s sandwich special: Monte Crisco”
But is it vintage crisco!?
We only use the finest vintage crisco, topped with lovingly crushed dumpster cheetos and the freshest coffin-stored lettuce and tomatoes. We serve it with a fresh side of pees in the pod and other barley used veggies. For appetizers, we have nachos served on the sombrero of an authentic Mexican little person.
that was beast.
[sandwich corey]
I’ve always had a soft spot for that most difficult of sandwiches, the Monte Cristo.
Sadly, that means I’ve also had my share that were more Crisco (or safflor, palm, or other, dubious oils) than “monte.”
That being said, I’ve been to two places that almost struck the zenith of monte cristo perfection–and both are long passed into the dustbin of history.
One was on Northwest Highway in Dallas across from Bachmann Lake. They used a beer batter that was sublime, and they refrigerated the sandwiches before frying, which made for a delicate contrast between the warm coating and the interior. Their failing, though was in the quality of the meats–pretty much tasteless.
The other was a dinky joint outside of Woden, Texas that made an exquisite sandwich, with superb meats and cheese–they just had the world’s plainest batter. Which was not necessarily a bad thing, as they offered cranberry chutney as a condiment (and creole mustard and/or mayo, too). So, the sandwich was as good just on toasted bread as dipped in batter–and faster while in the middle of a seven-hour drive. They spent too much on good ingredients and not enough on enough margin to stay open, sadly.
I’d be sad, but, I have to get out and about, and I’m stopping for avocados to make guacamole for supper tonight–and fresh-made guac will erase a frowny day.
[/corey]
Thanks a lot Captain! It’s 1 am here and now I am heading for the kitchen. But first – lettuce turnip and pea…..
These ads are a sign of Man’s inhumanity to Man’s Veggies! Next they’ll be chopping them up and throwing them in the spa. With a little salt, a few spices, and your closest friends. Bring to a boil.
What? Oh, sorry. Carry on, then.
A Man’s veggies? That’s just disturbing Windy.
Pecil.Carrot.
Dear, dear Lara, that’s “holus hominem” not “hominis vegetabilium”–the Vegetables of all Mankind, not “men’s veggies” . . .
And, steaming in a sauna makes for healthier product–do you have any idea how much “crab boil” it takes to fill a hot tub?
So are we saying that you and the freaky puppy share the same vegetables? I think that’s physically impossible.
Stupid pod people, copying people and peeing in their pods.
And more than once! Disgusting.
Isn’t that what you get at a golden bridal shower?
Ew.
The only time I ever game my oldest barley cereal was when she was about 6 months old. No one had ever warned me what can happen. I did many, many loads of laundry that day and she enjoyed three extra baths. I would never, ever want anything that’s been barley used.
I’m game!
Game ‘er? I barley know ‘er!
Astro, you are too young for her and Hammy, you are far too old.
Barley used DVD’s make good bookmarks for The Catcher in the Rye.
They really help with Holden your place, don’t they?
Ralph, Astro,
I adoughr your comments and would give you both many flours if I could.
Now, as a Scot, I do have to contend, to propend, on noble barley. For, without it we’d hae nae soup; nar ane noble haggis, either.
But, lest we forget, it’s malting the barley in oaster, to ready it for wort and mash, that it might deliver its best, it’s divine essence in fermentation and distillation.
Barley used such has few peers (if more than a few pee-ers, and no, I’ll just get another iPod, that’s ok, really . . . )
” Oats, peas, beans and barley grow
Oats, peas, beans and barley grow
Neither you, nor I, nor anyone
Knows how the beans and barley grow.”
That would be from a first primer of piano lessons, and is one of two lessons I still remember from that long ago time. Hah, Veggie Tales before they could talk…
That was in our method book in band during middle school. I’d play it during the time at the beginning of class reserved for putting our instruments together and then warming up some on our own just to annoy my band director. 🙂
Truly annoying when it’s stuck in your head ALL DAY. 😉
Oh, Yancy! Beautiful Yancy! River full of fish. Wait, sorry. Uh. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night gardeners!
If only it was peas, I’d be chanting:
One Ring to rule them all; one ring to grow them; one ring to cult’vate them all; and in the darkness cook them.
You may only barley delay the Grim Reaper, but give pees a chance.