YSaC, Vol. 1001: One fish, two fi — AAAH! Get it off!
glass bottom boat – $200
THATS RIGHT IT HAS A 1 INCH THINCK PLEXI GLASS WINDOW TO SEE UNDER WATER. RE DID THE FLOORING WITH FOAM INSULATION ALL AROUND.
You know what the problem is with normal glass-bottom boat tours? You can’t reach into the water and pet the fish! Well, here at Sebastian’s Glass-Bottom Boat Tours and Salvage, we’ve solved that age-old problem! Imagine being out on the open water with your loved ones, merrily bailing water, when your youngest spies a cuddly viperfish* — oh, the joy at being able to reach down and touch the sealife! It’s an educational experience for the whole family!
Thanks, Marilyn!
*Note: not cuddly.
Coming soon: DATF’s Snakehead Petting Zoo, Marina Drive, Alexandria, VA. Fun for the whole family!
Too bad you aren’t Dave and Ferret Tribe, then you could be DAFT.
Punk?
I’ll take that under advisement.
I’m thinking the only water that this boat could stand up to is a glass of water.
Maybe not even then. Waterboarding is so controversial these days.
It would make a nifty sandbox though.
Absolutely. My child just doesn’t get enough splinters and spray foam in his diet.
Spray foam keeps them regular.
Remember that sandbox vote from awhile back. I was wondering if some
crazybrave sole hauled it away and “repurposed” it.I think it would have been too late for a sole to pick it up, once it’s been turned into a sandbox.
Sparky, a plywood boat, Plexiglas, and spray foam – No good can come of this.
On the upside, not much evil can come of it either–the doomsday device fell through bottom, and the fish can’t figure out how to turn the dial to ‘utter annihilation,’ so the device remains permanently set to ‘mild irritant.’
Add a tarp, and a tree with a strong branch, and you’ve got the makings of a decent habitat.
Alternate title: Glass bottom boats, you make my fishin’ world go round.
Ooh, I like that one!
I was just a redneck dad
With some sprayfoam that I had
And a boat that barely floated anyway
Left alone with my best saw blade
And some glass I got in a trade
Hey there Craigslist, make a rich man outta me.
Are you gonna take it on the lake?
Look, you can grab that watersnake!
Are you gonna watch this boat go down
Glass bottom boats, you make my fishin’ world go round.
I can’t wait for this to show up on Instructables.
1. Take a couple huge hunks o’ plywood.
2. Cut them into roughly the shape of an iron. Put one on top o’ the other when you cut so they both come out the same shape.
3. Cut some other hunks o’ plywood at least as big as the other pieces.
4. Put one o’ the iron-shaped pieces on the ground.
5. Take one o’ the other hunks o’ plywood and wrap it around the side of the iron-shaped piece, hammering it into place as you go.
6. Do the same with another hunk o’ plywood on the other side.
7. Stand some beer cans up inside — be sure to drink the beer first! A couple dozen will do.
8. Put the other iron-shaped piece on top o’ the beer cans.
9. Nail that into place. If you’re too drunk by this point to have good aim, make sure you have extra nails on hand.
10. Take some caulking and go all around the bottom of the boat, then repeat for the inside around the edges.
11. Cut and nail a 2×4 across one end for something to sit on and drink your beer.
12. You got yerself a boat!
OPTIONAL
13. Get out yer sawzall and cut a square hole in the bottom, and then the top part of the boat, somewhere ’round the middle.
14. Cut some plexiglass to fit.
15. Use some foam insulation to seal the plexiglass in place.
16. Glass-bottomed boat!
OPTIONAL OPTION
17. Leave out the foam insulation from the top window and screw on some hinges.
18. Extra beer storage!
OPTIONAL OPTIONAL OPTION
19. Oars. Might need some oars.
20. might need a life jacket or a bigass truck inter-tube..
Whaddayer need that fer? Just takes up room for beer!
You could always use the intertube to hold the cooler with the extra beer. A’int you never been tubin?
Oh, yeah, and then we could fill the innertube with beer! It’ll be our own portable keg. I like the way you think.
*sip* This beer tastes like rubber. *gulp*
Yeah, you’ve had Keystone beer? Well, this is Bridgestone.
I prefer the Firestone fortified wine, it has a charming steel-belt aftertaste with just a hint of asphalt.
I’d rather a Pirelli Noir myself. It has a lighter nose but a bold vulcanized flavour that pairs very well with roadkill.
Even by the remote chance this thing doesn’t sink like a boat with a poorly sealed hole cut in its bottom, what exactly is Sparky hoping to see in the water? Small boats like that are normally used on small ponds and lakes, which (around here anyway) have water that’s about as clear as a coffee slice.
I would imagine that its most useful function would be searching for your drunk friend who fell overboard.
Or to identify which gator got him (in my neck of the woods).
My thought was that this ad had to be from around Catalina Island, or somewhere in Florida. The water near the island is clear enough, shallow enough, and teeming with sea life close enough to the surface that the boat would be useful. There are fleets of glass bottom boats that will take you and the whole family on a tour. There’s even a movie called the glass bottom boat.
Oh, wait, my corey tags are in my other pants. Never mind.
Believe it or not, it’s from Canada.
Northern Ontario would be my guess, then.
Red Green?
Vancouver.
Sure, Blame Canada.
@kelli: Nah, not enough duct tape.
Vancouver, huh? The weed capitol of Canada, so … not really surprised there, either.
Actually Surrey :o) Anyone from the Lower Mainland of BC will understand completely.
I’ve been at school and haven’t been to this site in so long – it still gives me an asthma attack from laughing so hard!
Contact Sebastian, the crab from “The Little Mermaid”? I guess the seafloor needs more drunken, drowned idiots to nosh on.
Ever hopeful that it would prophesy a successful night in the bars of Ish* at last**, Sebastian’s joyful renditions of Under the Sea were about to become more real than he could have imagined…
*Tonight, the part of Ish will be played by Vancouver, Canada.
**Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more but look at this totes anamatonomically accurate drawing I did LOL bewbs.
Man, Uni really ruined Disney for me… ok ok ok I’m going! Stupid corner.
I think it really is an ecological workstation to study marine habitats and stuff. Therefore, to be truly “green” it needs a non-polluting energy source – like a sail. That is an easy addition:
1) Drill large round hole in bottom of ‘boat’.
2) Get a long 2×4 to put in hole.
3) Tape in place with duct-tape.
4) Staple sheet to 2×4.
5) Install wet bar in crew’s quarters.
I’ll be in the lounge if you need any help.
Ah, Grampdaddy, how we’ve missed your common sense and mature guidance through Sparkyland. 8)
I take it the “crew’s quarters” is defined as the other side of the boat?
Well, crew’s quarters normally are in the lower levels, and since Sparky’s wonder only has one deck, it is probably safe to assume that the ‘wet’ in “wet bar” is accurate.
Probably a waste of time to request a dry martini…
I think the best thing about this unique boat is that it left the sponsor bot speechless.
When in doubt, confuse ’em. Words to live by.
I thought AdSense was saying, “Blankity blank blank.” No?
I can almost hear Jamie Hyneman – “Well, there’s your problem…”
It’s definitely an educational experience, though. The main thing you learn is not to buy poorly- modified boats from idiots who may well have been under the affluence of incohol when they had the idea in the first place.
That’s odd… the Jamie Hyneman in my head is saying ‘Let’s find a way to blow this up.’
Look at that boat. You could blow it up with a wet cherry bomb.
No, the real problem is that Adam keeps looking at the 175HP outboard and wondering if they can get Grant to calculate just how fast you have to go to not have the hole be “in” the water . . . And Kari’s comments as Tory gets nominated to drive would make it all worthwhile.
Sorta.
Cut, cut, cut a hole
I wanna see some fish.
Floating, floating, floating, sunk
I guess I got my wish.
Take your jammies and your toothbrush. You’ll probably be sleeping with the fishies tonight.
Things must be really slow in the depths if Davey Jones is resorting to selling crappy boats to get some more souls to man his crew.
I’m afraid of the sort of souls that boat would buy. I’m seeing lots of drugs and several regrettable homemade tattoos.
Amy Winehouse?
At least she’d be scary enough to work his crew.
Everyone try to stay up late tonight to congratulate Jen on being in the box. I know Mindfield left it clean and well stocked for her today.
I’m afraid to ask what he stocked it with…
I think Windy mistyped and meant to say “…left it clean and stalked her well today.”
Well, long-distance stalking is much more difficult, but so much rewarding for it.
Also, ZOMG I’m in teh bawks!!!! *ahem* Sorry, trying to work with geology (srsly? There’s a reason I never took Science) has damaged my brain.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Thankee in advance, Mama Windy, I’m’a wear my bestest helmet for this!
In our patented huge-hole-in-the-bottom boats, it’s like you’re actually down there with the fish!
Should I bring my hugely expensive camera with the massive lens?
And wear your super-expensive dry-clean-only silk pantsuit and matching Ferragamo stilettos.
Why? Did they find Bill O’Reilly’s ego at the bottom of Lake Okeechobee?
You have a massive lens?!! I thought Taco was the only one allowed to have anything massive on this site.
That does give me an idea though: How about a massive TacoThong! 40 yards of day-glo orange spandex. Big enough to make Taco proud, but no destroyed retinas for the rest of us.
OT
My first mostly coherent spam message! “I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I will learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!” Whoot!
/OT
I LOVE learning many new stuff! Will the many new stuff be in your next?
My next will be FULL of many new stuff!
So, you do realize that the spammers search for that text so they can find out what blogs they can spam further, right? And that they don’t actually read the context in which their text occurs? So … they’re going to think they can continue to spam THIS blog.
Thanks.
Consider it an early Beesmas present! Who knows, you could do a spin-off and call it You Suck at Spam Bots.
Nothing interesting on mine in the past week or so, but one of them (of the “I like your blog” variety) did post on my “Scam” story, which I thought was quite appropriate.
“Oh yes, I know him what did the scam. He posted in the comments of this very story.”
But it “…IT HAS A 1 INCH THINCK PLEXI GLASS WINDOW….”
Sillies, you’re supposed to THINK it has a 1 inch plexiglass window. If you think really hard, the water will stay out of the hole.
Ya know, you COULD use this to moon scuba divers – just plant right there on that plexi and grin. Of course, you would run the risk of slivers and expanding foam in your “personal areas”.
I was going to say something about my personal areas have never had the items you mention, but I am thinking better of it. I spend way too much time in the corner, most days.
Suppose we could discuss things expanding in personal areas, but then we’d just end up in the corner, searching for the line.
[extensive cory-ing]
Ok, as a guess, this ad represents another nadir in sparkelesque expression.
I think they have discovered that 1″ plexiglass is really expensive. What the Mackenzie Bros actually want is someone to sell them a $3-400 hunk of vaguely-rectilinear plexiglass for only CN$200 .
Oh, the 1″ thickness? That’s because that’s (surprise!) how thick the boat is. Really, you could use a sheet of 1/4″, if it were properly done.
But, I will have bias here, since I know what stringers, purlins, coamings, knee timbers and the like are (and the tedious, boring, reasons for “why” too).
I’ve built boats, too. Out of plywood–it’s a good material. Shoot, built one out of 1/8″ plywood that turned out reasonably symmetrical.
Hurts to think some Bob-n-Ted (or Julian-n-Ricky) are out there hacking at them with circular saws.
The over-cuts on the deck certainly suggest that Sparq’ had some other idea in mind.
Now, off to the east of me, I’ve seen some bateau d’jean fitted up with viewing windows–those are largely single-thickness craft, makes for an easy install. Those craft also had a plywood viewing hood around them. To address the situation one has when looking into water in sunlight. The silly stuff reflects light.
Oh, and plexiglass is a terrible material for this. Unless purchased from a specialty shop, for use in a working optical environment, it will scratch to opacity in very short order–like as fast as it takes to trailer that, ah, ahem, “craft.”
[/coreyⁿ]
Ohhh I have an old dingy out in the garage, so if I cut a hole in it and (maybe) glue some plexiglass into said hole, I can now sell it on craigslist for 200 bucks?
Gotta run and do this now, will respond to ad later!
Is it inflatable? ‘Cos you can’t use plexiglass on those. Try Saran Wrap instead. Or clear packing tape. Or Saran Wrap affixed with clear packing tape.
Why is anyone bothering with plexiglass anymore anyway? Transparent aluminum was invented in 1986 by a guy in San Francisco. Right before the whales were released from the Cetacean Institute in Sausalito. Am I the only one who remembers this?
Let me see what I can find on that. *picks up mouse* Hello, computer!
Trekkie geek-out FTW!
Sausalito sounds like either a 90s bar or terrible ‘diet’ sausages:
“Mm, I sure do love sausages, but won’t I get fat?”
“Not with NEW Sausalito – just like your favourite saussies, only Lite-oh! Now with 50% more vintage Crisco and superfluous vowels!”
“Oh Sausalito, what’d I ever do without you!”
Note to self: posting atfer punchgin may have intendedededed relutst.
Hey, Jen! Nice helmet, love the bedazzled trim. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Vancouver!