YSaC, Vol. 1017: So THAT’S what ZOSO summons!

2011 June 21

Amps


I have two amp for sale.
The smaller one is a Kustom KBA16 – $30
The bigger one is a Dinosaur – $50

“OK, here’s the $80 for the amps.”
“Great – they’re right over there.”
“Say, is that dog friendlARRRRGGGGHGHHHHHH!!”
“Good boy, Fluffy! That’s $480 this week!”

Thanks for the link, Bianchi Sound!

136 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 June 21

    Sparky had been warned about playing ‘Black Dog’ five times in a row…

    Adores: 10
  2. 2011 June 21

    So what’s the rehoming fee for the “Resident Evil” puppy?

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 June 21

      Oh, you couldn’t afford it. It’s an arm and a leg. Maybe some spinal column.

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 June 21

        Pyramid Head has attachment issues to inside-out puppy. I doubt he could be convinced to give the pup up.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21

          Having not played the Resident Evil games, I assume this is a reference to some one in the game. That said, the first thing that popped into my mind when reading ‘pyramid head’ was ‘Triangle Man’ and now I have inadvertently gained an earworm for today.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21

          WARNING: The following image is rather disturbing, as it is a very accurate depiction of Pyramid head. If you’re generally squeamish or have small children around you do not click it.

          Pyramid Head

          EDIT: Also, when you eventually come for a visit, we’ll have to have you sit down and play the silent hills. Most of them are good stuff; especially Silent Hill 2.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          mudslicker permalink

          What? No cute baby seals?

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21

          Hey! Usually when you do that, we click the link and find a picture of baby ocelots or something. No fair! 🙂

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21

          Sorry guys, maybe I should have included corey tags or something.

          Also Pyrmid Head

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21

          It must be difficult to find a hat that fits.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          He could always wear an orange traffic cone. That’s stylish right? In fact, I have a hunch someone has already done it in a haute couture show.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          These are pretty fantastic!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21

          Shoes for the sexy bumblebee in your life.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Re: Lara

          Ow! My eyes!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Eyes? Looks more like a scheme to net a podiatrist a luxury vacation . . .

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21

          I didn’t know there were hooker bees.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Jen permalink

          @Lara – that picture made me happy. 🙂

          @gc – Sure, “‘worker’ bee” is just a euphemism. Bees are surprisingly liberal; they mostly affect ignorance of the dark underbelly of hive-life to fit in with their puritanical WASP neighbours.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21
          Lola permalink

          OMG! Thank you, Lara, my life is now complete. With these shoes I can participate in the long-dreamed-of Joni Mitchell cosplay wherein I am the “Big Yellow Taxi,” since I really do believe that they have paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

          Adores: 3
  3. 2011 June 21

    So Pastor was right: Listening to rock music really does summon demons.

    Adores: 14
  4. 2011 June 21

    Hey, I know that guy! He’s in the same Spectral Animal Bowling League as me! Plays for the Black Shucks, I think.

    Adores: 11
  5. 2011 June 21
    funky monkey permalink

    Eyes that shine, white not red,
    Dreams of you all through my head.

    *FM, jamming down on air guitar, makes required rock faces*

    Don’t care if that pup eats my hand,
    Gonna get my amps, be a happy man.

    I don’t know but I’ve been told
    White-eyed dog ain’t got no soul.

    *finishes up with a flourish, sets guitar on fire, jumps into crowd to surf / loses zoo issue diaper in the process / runs from the men in white coats, screaming “I’M SHOWING THEM MY ZOSO!!!!”*

    Adores: 14
    • 2011 June 21

      I wanna party with you, FM.

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 June 21
      funky monkey permalink

      Come on over, it’s BYOB.*

      I saw Robert Plant in concert in the 90’s, t’was AWESOME. Ties with the Eagles for the best concert I’ve been to. I’m getting all jiggy with it at my desk with Black Dog running thru my head.

      *Bring your own bananas.

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 June 21
      Lola permalink

      “I’M SHOWING THEM MY ZOSO!!!!”

      I must find a way to work this into conversation.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 June 21
        Lara permalink

        I would love to be part of that conversation. Nobody ever has these conversations with me.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 June 21

          Based on all of our conversations here, I’m half fearful, half eager for a YSaC BBQ one day.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 June 21

          I have those sorts of conversations with myself all the time.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Isn’t that what we do on FB? (Lara, do we know you on FB?)

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 22
          Lara permalink

          I sent a request to join the group.

          Adores: 1
  6. 2011 June 21

    Basement dog says all your rock are belong to us.

    And your souls.

    Adores: 16
    • 2011 June 21
      funky monkey permalink

      and I et all ur tunes lolz

      Adores: 7
  7. 2011 June 21
    LimeLolly permalink

    Kustom Dinosaur. That is all.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 June 21
      Lara permalink

      I want my kustom dinosaur to be equipped with the power to fly and sing opera. It should also be rust resistant and able to write a coherent Craigslist ad.

      Adores: 5
  8. 2011 June 21

    D’aww. It’s Zuul as a puppy!

    NO ZUUL! BAD! We do NOT possess customers!

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 June 21
      Lola permalink

      What about reposession?

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 June 21

        Only if they’re the gatekeeper.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21

          I am the keymaster!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          I would like my eggs to fry themselves on the counter. Not only would I have fried eggs all the time but it would be an awesome ice breaker. At least after you got past the whole monster in the refrigerator thing it would be.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 June 21
        Lara permalink

        I think it’s repression, Lola. Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          CapnMac permalink

          Ok, weird synchronicity, was talking to a young graduate student last night. Had to explain Monty Python as a comedic reference; but did not have to explain Rule 34.
          Infammable pudding for Tea.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 22
          Lara permalink

          I am glad you are educating that student about Monty Python. No education is complete without them. Plus they show you that you can have an advanced degree and still get paid for slapping someone with a fish. In fact, I think they were more qualified to slap each other with fish.

          Adores: 1
  9. 2011 June 21
    Trinket permalink

    It’s the GRIM!

    Or maybe just Sirius Black.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 June 21

      Ah, you beat me to the Harry Potter reference!

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 June 21

      My first thought was The Nothing from “The Neverending Story.”

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 June 21

        Scary! *hides*

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          MORG! My niece always dives under the couch during the Morg part. She watches that movie over and over and over again. She has gotten under the couch cushions during that part.

          Adores: 2
  10. 2011 June 21

    Warning,

    Never use your dog as an extension cord, it makes him MAD!

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 June 21
      Lara permalink

      This is a good motto for all dog owners.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 June 21

        Also FYI, cats make lousy surge protectors.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 June 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Mostly because they’re likely to just get up and walk away when they get hungry.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          funky monkey permalink

          Now guess what’s in my head? A picture of my siamese with her tail plugged into a socket and lamps and alarm clocks and computers plugged into her nipples.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Addicted Reader permalink

          And where are our resident artists when we need them?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          Jen permalink

          Cowering in the corner?

          Adores: 3
  11. 2011 June 21
    Indigo permalink

    Bitchin’ amps!

    Adores: 9
  12. 2011 June 21

    This is Cerberus’ lesser known kid sister, Cerberil, Guardian of the River Amp.

    Adores: 8
  13. 2011 June 21

    That’s a nice amp set. But, does it come with the woofer?

    Adores: 22
    • 2011 June 21
      funky monkey permalink

      Bwahahahahahahahah! I just now got it! 3 hours later (I am a blonde, you just can’t tell from my avatar).

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 June 21
        Windrose permalink

        Yeah, your gravitar makes you look like a redhead. 8)

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21
          funky monkey permalink

          I don’t know whether to respond by slamming your appearance, or by boosting my ego by complimenting MY appearance. I shall take the high road, Windy.

          mumble
          mumble
          (stupid duck)
          (make a good stew with dumplings)
          mumble mumble

          🙂

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          I’m a brunette but I can claim to have slammed my car door on my own head. I should be an honorary member.

          Adores: 0
      • 2011 June 21

        :waves:

        Hello, fellow blonde chick!

        :does Secret Blonde Handshake with funky:

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          funky monkey permalink

          *returns shake*

          It’s a hard life, and no one really appreciates our struggle. Think of all the things that Blondes have made possible/necessary: Safety goggles, detailed instructions on shampoo and conditioner bottles, all warning labels. The entire “_____ For Dummies” series. All those signs that show stick figures falling down stairs and slipping in something wet.

          It’s a disability. I should be able to sit at home and draw a check. That would have helped out when I got fired from my job in the banana factory for throwing away all the bent bananas.

          PS: Hey, Ghostie, you gotta start coming to the yearly picnics. We’re having better crowds now that everyone has GPS.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 June 21

          I got fired from my first job because I kept trying to iron the curly fries straight. I tried to fix them but then there was the whole “I’ve been poisoned with permed potatoes!” scare, so it was for the best.

          I actually have a GPS! Mom gave me Yoda* for Christmas one year so I would stop getting lost every time I tried to go somewhere. It has been partially sucessful.

          Have you been getting the newsletter? I got an envelope last week with a Post-it inside, it just had “Sorry, I forgot how to write.” written on it.

          *I call it Yoda because I programmed it to sound like Yoda.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 June 21
          funky monkey permalink

          I’ve boycotted their newsletter after buying some seeds they advertisized that were a big let down. I planted them and I fertilized and watered them and NOTHING. Have you ever bought a brand of donut seeds called Cheerios? Well, don’t! HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT!!

          Adores: 8
        • 2011 June 21
          Jen permalink

          *Late to the party blonde* Aloha! Hey if either of you could sign me up to this newsletter, that’d be great. I tried the online sign-up sheet but I made a couple of mistakes and now there’s twink* all over my screen. Ta muchly!

          *White-out? Liquid paper? Whatever you all call it, the white-magic no-more-stupid-stuff.

          Adores: 4
  14. 2011 June 21
    Lola permalink

    Slightly OT: Any thoughts on what kind of dog this is? (Aside from, clearly, infernal.)

    My parents have had a succession of Schipperkes over the years. Being well-acquainted with them and their appearance in photographs, that’s my vote.
    http://www.nextdaypets.com/directory/breeds/images/1100230.jpg

    And for the “Awwwww!” factor, a puppy. The neighborhood children called our first one “the little bear dog.”
    http://static.gotpetsonline.com/pictures-gallery/dog-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/schipperke-pictures-breeders-puppies-rescue/pictures/schipperke-0021.jpg

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 June 21

      *squints closely at the picture, studies the size of the speakers, the dog’s vaguely outlined anatomy, and the side of the outlet behind the dog.*

      German Sheppard Lab mix. It’s too big for a Schipperke. This is probably a dog about 40 to 50 pounds. If your Schipp is 50 pounds, we need to talk diet. One of the Techs here had a Shep/Lab mix that looked a lot like this… minus the evil gleam in the eyes.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 June 21
        Lola permalink

        My parents’ current Schip is purebred, but bigger than regulation (a Shaq Schip, if you will – he’s not even fat, just extremely large frame), so that may skew my size perception; also I wasn’t totally sure exactly how large the amps are. Shep/black Lab looks very reasonable. *makes note never to answer ad with that description*

        ETA: The NYPD has a couple of all-black Sheps (really nice-looking dogs) that they use for bomb and drug detection – this could just be a purebred, pure-black German Shepherd.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21

          That’s true, it could be. Hard to know without shining some light on the dog… but I think that’ll make it go ballistic and I’d rather not have it come out from behind the protective Amp-Shield it has there.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 June 21
          Lola permalink

          They must be playing some Phil Spector Wall-of-Sound stuff there, if that’s what’s keeping him back.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 June 21
      Addicted Reader permalink

      oh, lookit da cute liddle bear puppy… who’s da cutest…

      ::melts into a puddle of baby talk::

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 June 21
        camille permalink

        I share your weakness for cute liddle bear puppies. Unfortunately, my cute liddle bear puppy takes full advantage of this.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Lola permalink

          I’m convinced my cat actively works at being cute so that he gets away with things.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          funky monkey permalink

          A couple of times a month, at our house, at night, everybody’s almost asleep, all the lights are off. We hear a big WHAM! CRASH! BREAK! CRAP HITTING THE FLOOR!!! SCATTER!

          When I get in the kitchen there’s a huge puddle/pile of goo/food/trash/fire/unidentified mess in the middle of the floor, all 3 cats are in the kitchen within a yard of the mess. Looking at me with the Puss-in-Boots-from-Shrek look on their faces – you know the big liquid pupil look. All. Damned. Three. Of them.

          If I raise my voice and threaten them, they turn and slowly walk away with this injured or arrogant look on their faces (“you ain’t gonna do SQUAT to me”) and give that pet cat tail twitch that is the equivalent of humans giving the middle finger. You know what I’m talking about.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 June 21

          Any loud noise that wakes me up in the middle of the night doesn’t elicit an “AHH! Burglars!” response, but more of a “What did they break this time?” feeling.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 June 22
          Lara permalink

          I swear my cat is remodeling the bathroom in the middle of the night.

          Adores: 3
  15. 2011 June 21
    Innana permalink

    “Mr. Holmes, they were the amps of a gigantic hound!”

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 June 21
      Lara permalink

      oooo, do they have phosphorescence too? That’s a major sell point I would think. [OT] My niece and I were looking at why fireflies glow the other day on the computer and we found mushrooms that glow. They are so cool looking. One of the comments (there were a grand total of two) was a guy saying he wanted to light his house with the mushrooms. I suspect he doesn’t have very much human interaction, particularly of the female kind. [/OT]

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 June 21

        Coolest example of bioluminescence I’ve seen is the bioluminscent algae found in certain parts of the world like Australia. I recall a video of a wading pool full of the algae at some vacation resort, but I can’t seem to Google up a video of it.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21
          mudslicker permalink

          I love the word bioluminescence. It beasts the word festering hands down.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21
          Lara permalink

          That is so cool Mindfield! Thanks for the link, I’ll show it to my niece the next time I see her.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21

          You can also grow your own –

          http://www.instructables.com/id/Grow-Your-Own-Bioluminescent-Algae/

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21
          mudslicker permalink

          I love DIY projects!!!!

          Did I miss my “beasts” typo? Must have been Freudian.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 22
          Lara permalink

          Growing it would be awesome but I think my brother and sister-in-law wouldn’t appreciate it when they came home and found their child growing algae in the kiddie pool out back. They already have problems with mold inside of the walls in the house they just bought.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 June 22
          Janett (lurking but noticed something) permalink

          I love that Mindfield used “Google up” in a sentence.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 June 21
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Lara, or maybe just too many mushrooms of a different kind.

        Adores: 1
  16. 2011 June 21
    Lola permalink

    Comment awaiting moderation? All I did was speculate about the origin of the dog!

    Must be the puppy link. 8)

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 June 21
      Lara permalink

      You live on the edge, Lola. Puppies are very edgy. Especially the one in this ad. Watch your step. Squished puppies aren’t so edgy, they are more blobby.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 June 21
      Windrose permalink

      I approved it, it should be here any minute.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 June 21
      CapnMac permalink

      Zuck’s minions no doubt, for suggesting their Sith might make a decent breakfast spread.

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 June 21
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Lola – I’d accept “awaiting moderation” – thrice today (or maybe it was just 3 times) I typed out a comment, clicked ‘submit’, and got the following message from WordPress. “You are posting too quickly – slow down.”

      I know I’m not posting too quickly. I don’t type that fast. I’m more of a half-fast typist.

      Anyway, I gave up and waited until the evening to post. I know I had a GREAT comment, but you all missed it today.

      *rats*

      Adores: 3
  17. 2011 June 21

    “A Dog of Slanders”

    “Fancied yourself a rock star, did you?” it said.
    Furk was paralyzed with terror. It couldn’t be real, none of this could be real. But it seemed so real. This had to be a trip. He knew he shouldn’t have had the pharmaceutical sampler platter. He wasn’t even sure what all it came with. Magic mushrooms marinated in lysergic acid diethylamide, he knew, plus some heroin and maybe salvia divinorum and some other unidentified pills like a side of baked beans. But he took them all, and now this … this nightmare. “Uh … I … I guess?” he stammered.
    “You guess?” it roared, its impossibly black body almost convulsing with rage, though its quartet of paws bearing vicious, razor-sharp claws dug firmly into the steamy stone to give it solid purchase.
    “Yes!” Furk yelped, startled by the thing’s sudden outburst. “Yes, I am a rock star!”
    Its stout, barrel chest started to shake, growing in intensity as it began to emit a laugh dripping with menace, each of its trio of heads laughing independently giving the impression of a small group mocking him. The pointed, dripping teeth in each of its heads looked capable of tearing the flesh from every one of his bones all at once. “You mean, you were a rock star,” it said at length when it was able to bring its dark mirth under control.
    “I don’t … what … what do you mean?” Furk stumbled over his tongue; he wondered if it was possible to die from sheer fright.
    Once again, the thing began to laugh, more uproariously this time, though only the middle head did the talking. “You have no idea, do you?” it said, trying to suppress recurring giggle fits. Suddenly, it smiled with all three mouths. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Cerberus, guardian of the entrance to hell.” It bowed then — an odd-looking gesture coming from a three-headed dog.
    “Hell? What…”
    “You’re dead.” Cerberus said, this time without a trace of mirth. Noticing Furk’s expression, he continued. “Oh, come, now. You didn’t think you could handle all those drugs, did you? That was enough to fell a herd of elephants.”
    Furk was trying to fight about a dozen emotions all at once. “But … I … we had a deal.”
    “You and Hades?”
    “Y…yes. The devil.”
    “Did the deal include him resurrecting you if you did something stupid and died?”
    That caught Furk off guard. “I … don’t know.”
    Cerberus shook his heads. “No, of course you don’t. Because you’re an idiot. That’s why he chose you to make a deal with. He knew you’d take it, and he knew in your lust for fame and wealth that you wouldn’t read too far into it.”
    “But … he said I had seven years,” Furk said weakly.
    “Assuming you didn’t get yourself killed in the mean time. He just gave you the tools you needed to live those seven years successfully. He didn’t tell you how you should use them.”
    It was beginning to sink in to Furk’s head. “So…”
    “So,” Cerberus remarked snidely. “You were stupid and you died, and here we are.”
    “I can’t be. I … just can’t.”
    Cerberus rolled his six eyes. “Didn’t we just cover this?”
    “No, no,” Furk insisted, still in denial. “No, there has to be a way to stop this, to get back.”
    Cerberus chuckled. “What do you think this is, Hollywood? You think you can challenge Hades to a fiddle-off or a hand of poker? Think you’ll find some loophole in the contract? It doesn’t work that way, moron. You made a deal with the devil, you died, now you’re in his house. Get used to it.”
    No!” Furk shouted, growing frustrated despite, or perhaps because of his fear. He still didn’t even know if any of this was real, though it was probably best to treat it as if it were, and it didn’t seem unreasonable to believe that there was a way out of it. Was it? No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t afford to think otherwise. He really didn’t know — well, anything about hell, or this Cerberus beast, but it seemed to have an intellect, and where there was intellect, there was a way to best it. He just had to be smarter than Cerberus somehow, right?
    “Look,” Cerberus said, looking impatient. “I’m not here to debate with you. I just guard the gates and wanted to make sure you knew your place in the scheme of things down here, but it’s time you passed over.” With one paw, he gestured toward the fiery arch some distance behind him.
    There was no way in hell he was going through those gates. Mentally, shot through with a swell of mania, he chuckled at that statement. He was already in hell, or just outside the gates, anyway, which he suppose meant he was in some kind of neighboring suburb. Heck County, maybe. The District of Darn. Fiddlestickton. Shucksville. Furk began to chuckle aloud. He could feel his mind slipping.
    Cerberus sighed. “Look, I haven’t got all day, I’ve got things to do, can we move this along, please?”
    But then the idea struck him. The memory was spotty and blanketed in a thick haze of booze and narcotics, but it was there. The party was at his buddy Parp’s, and he recalled Parp teasing him with the dog, trying to get the dog to bite him on the ass by–
    “Dude, I have an appointment with a groomer in twenty minutes, move it!” Cerberus intoned ominously.
    Yes. He remembered, now. “Treat?” Furk cooed in a hushed but excited tone.
    Cerberus raised an eyebrow. “What the hell are you talking about?”
    Furk reached into his back pockets and pulled out two dog biscuits, one in each hand. He held them out in front of him tantalizingly. “Treat?” he repeated in a more enthusiastic tone.
    “You–” Cerberus started, but the heads on either side suddenly perked up and began to pant in anticipation.
    Go get ’em!” Furk shouted excitedly as he threw the biscuits wide to either side of Cerberus.
    For his part, Cerberus seemed to realize what was happening. “Shit.”
    The dog biscuits arced gracefully out to the sides. As Cerberus’ middle head was projecting his loathing toward Furk, the other two heads, eager for the treats, dashed off in opposite directions to try and go after the flying morsels. Such was their exuberance and single-minded determination that they quite literally tore themselves in half. Blood and viscera spilled out as Cerberus’ body split fairly down the middle and slumped to the ground in a blossoming pool of its own mortality.
    The middle head, its life quickly running out, shot Furk one last look of undiluted hate. “Asshole,” it gasped, and then passed on to — well, come to think of it, where did one’s soul go from here?

    The light took longer to acclimate to the blinding lights than the beeping of the machines he was hooked up to, but eventually he was able to resolve indistinct blobs, which in turn cleared up to reveal his band mates hovering around his bed.
    “Hey, mate,” Burney, his guitarist, said. “Good to see you back among the living.”
    “Yeah,” Stummy said — that was his drummer. “It was pretty touch and go there for a while, but it looks like you pulled through. Good thing — I didn’t think anyone could have survived after taking as many drugs as you did. That was just crazy, man.”
    “Yeah,” Burney said. “Could’t believe it, you really worried us.”
    “Well,” Furk said weakly. “At least I made it, right?”
    “Yeah,” Stummy said. “Funny thing though, all last night you kept mumbling about your dog.”
    Furk began to remember the nightmare. Worst one he ever had. “Yeah, I think I was having a bad dream.”
    “It’s alright, mate,” Burney said. “He’s fine, but he’s worried about you, too.”
    Furk felt an icy shard of fear shoot through him. “What?”
    “Your dog,” Stummy said. “you know, black lab? Answers to ‘Kerbie?’ He was whining the whole time, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you walk out of here.”
    The shard became a spear. “I don’t have a dog.”

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 June 21

      Once again, freaky puppy, you show your considerable talents at eliciting shivers of fear.

      Most excellent.

      Adores: 3
  18. 2011 June 21
    Lara permalink

    The dog is plugged into the light socket behind it so it can charge up. It’s kind of like the Chevy Volt except it’s hairier and has sharp teeth. When it’s fully charged it will find some small children to eat.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 June 21
      funky monkey permalink

      Ahhh, no! I refer you to HamCan’s post above re dogs as extension cords.

      If his eyes are still lit that means he’s not finished charging, right?

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 June 21
        Lara permalink

        I saw Hamcan’s post but my hypothesis is not that the dog is used as an extension cord but instead that the dog requires electricity to eat small children so he plugs into the nearest socket.

        EDIT: I need to go to the corner for that I think. I said socket.

        Adores: 4
  19. 2011 June 21
    Lara permalink

    BTW, I love the quote of the day!!

    Adores: 1
  20. 2011 June 21
    Lara permalink

    I must share this facebook ad that I got today because it awesomely bad. It’s titled We Rainbow Ralph Like You and the text is We rainbow ralph like you rainbow ralph in the glorious spectrum of refracted light. It tickles! Get rainbow ralph action. Click it.” I want rainbow ralph action. I need to work that into a conversation like Lola wants to do with FM’s Zoso declaration.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 June 21

      Last time I rainbow ralphed was at a party where I had entirely too much to drink.

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 June 21

      “I not only heart you, Ralph; I kitten-face you! No … I rainbow you! I want to tell the whole world that I rainbow Ralph! I’m even willing to take an ad out on Facebook to that effect.”

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 June 21

        Rainbow — $50 or OBO
        ————————
        I have one nice Rainbow for sale. It has good color, bright, well arched. Was ralphed on last summer during crazy graduation party but it washed off just fine. Asking 50 or whatever you wanna trade. I’d like to get at least two amps and an angry dog if you want to trade. If not, whatever. Iz cool, lol.

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 June 21

      For Lara and FM:

      Zoso rainbow ralph to your heart’s content! Do it in the shower, in the car, on the beach! *Nobody can zoso rainbow ralph like you once you master the technique!

      Just send elebenty-zillion dollars to:

      Zoso Rainbow Ralph
      123 Innuendo Lane
      Creeperville, WY 99889

      *results not typical, your mileage may vary, objects in mirror may be smaller than they appear, don’t eat spinach with a stranger, may cause blindness, deafness, and other words that end in ‘ness’, take at your own risk, do not mix with water after sunset, keep away from dogs, cats and other living creatures, not safe for children under 3, call you mother and go to confession

      *hey, look…there’s some bananananana coffee slices left in the corner!*

      Adores: 7
  21. 2011 June 21
    Windrose permalink

    Kibble and Amps! Kibble and Amps!
    My dog’s hungry for Kibble and Amps!

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 June 21

      and for YOUR SOUL!

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 June 21
        Lola permalink

        Or someone’s, anyway!

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 June 21

        And YOUR BACON!

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 June 21

          BACON ROLL ATTACK!

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 June 21
          Bacontini permalink

          *rushes into the room*

          Somebody call for de Bacontini?

          Oh, de Bacon Roll. Bacontini apologize, he not realize you wanting to talk to his cousin.

          But, should you not end up wanting de Bacon Roll, de Bacontini be more den satisfied to step in and be dere for you. Especially if you are de lady.

          Yes, Bacontini is always here for you. And ladies, Bacontini is here for you an extra two times each. Dere is always plenty of Bacontini to go around.

          Adores: 8
  22. 2011 June 21

    [Lunch OT]
    My sandwich today featured lettuce harvested from our garden yesterday evening. What a joyous sandwich to eat! I can’t wait until my sweet peppers are growing and I can extend the yumnitude of my lunch sandwiches.

    Provided you keep the rabbits away, lettuce turned out to be stupid easy to grow. Sprinkle seeds, thin out the herd, weed around them from time to time. I’m kinda sad I didn’t grow it last year.

    Our peas are doing quite well too. Yesterday we ended up with about 3 dozen thin pods for cooking… or snacking *Crunch Crunch*. For peas that are supposedly not of the edible pod variety*, the pods of these peas are very edible. I need to bag some of the blossoms so that we have peas for next year.**
    [/OT]

    *Apparently non-edible pods are still edible, but tend to be very fiberous and stringy. Our pea pods are neither of these.

    **Yay heritage plants

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 June 21
      funky monkey permalink

      This is our first year growing lettuce, too. We have squash and okra that will be ready to eat any minute now. Hubby Monkey does the canning at our house, he makes the best pickles and tomato sauce EVER out of our garden veggies. He’s cute and sexy AND handy.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 June 21

        You married a Monkey MacGyver?

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21
          Jen permalink

          MonkGyver? Or is that RDA’s religious half-brother/the Vatican spinoff?

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 June 21

        Sauce made from garden tomatoes is AWESOME stuff… too bad it doesn’t last very long. About 2 days I think.

        I’m looking forward to growing garlic and cilantro next year. Full on garden salsa… IN THE FACE!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 June 21

          You learn something every day:

          A study by Sherry Rindels in 1996 showed that peas have a high degree of self pollination BEFORE the flowers even open (As many as 90% of flowers are pollinated before they even open). So “sacking” flowers as they form is highly successful in producing isolated seeds. COOL!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 21

          I don’t imagine you need much of an army to sack peas.

          Adores: 1
  23. 2011 June 21
    Addicted Reader permalink

    I’m not so sure that’s a dog. Reminds me more of this without the wings. It’s something about the ears, I think.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 June 21
      Lola permalink

      AR, your guess is as good as any of ours, considering that none of us want to get close enough to find out.

      Adores: 1
  24. 2011 June 21
    CapnMac permalink

    [matt]
    honestly!
    Can’t you see this a cry for help?
    Sparky had a band, they were pretty good they guessed,
    Then the dog ate the band like a hound possessed.
    Lead guitar gone, the bass, too;
    So what’s a drummer to do?

    Sell the amps fast, gotta get some gas,
    The celica’s junk, a real crate,
    The pizza shop dude is on Spark’s ass,
    Can’t be late!

    Adores: 4
  25. 2011 June 21
    Windrose permalink

    I HAVE AN IDEA!!! *crickets* *CJ reaches for the I Love Me jacket* So a bunch of us are on Facebook and have a group called YSaC Friends. It would be so awesome if all of you could be there. But I understand some want to keep their secret identities. Well, guess what? You can be who you are here ON FACEBOOK! You can have a second account, use a free Yahoo or Gmail email address, and be incognito. Or Rorschach or The Blue Tic. It’s so much fun. Please come join us.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 June 21

      HHNF does that, unless by some odd coincidence her name really is HellHath NoFury.

      Excuse me.

      :pounces on cricket:

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 June 21
        Addicted Reader permalink

        As does the LlamaNun, BBUH.

        Adores: 2
    • 2011 June 21

      Windrose — thank you so much for starting the facebook friends group! You are definitely earning your kibble!

      By the way, Dan and I read through yesterday’s posts and picked two that, in our opinion, were worthy of being put in the box. Guess what — it’s the two you picked! You’re awesome, and we can’t thank you enough for all that you do around here (and now on Facebook!) every day.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 June 21
        Windrose permalink

        *blushing* Well, now, here’s the thing. It was all kelli’s idea. I just sort of stole it and ran with it. But thank you, I am honored to be a part of this community and will do all that I can at any time.

        And so glad you and Dan think like I do. GMTA, after all.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 June 21

          Indeed! And thanks to kelli, then, too!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 June 22
          Jen permalink

          GMTA, after all.

          Getting My Two Aardvarks?
          Going Mostly Towards Alvin?
          Get Mama’s Thrasher, Alma?
          Gurning: Makes Toothlessness Attractive?
          Granny Minces Tasty Applesauce?
          Gitmo’s Main Transport? Aliens.
          Gin + Marmalade + Tonic = Awesome (this is gospel truth btw. Try it)
          Gangs Might Take Acting (classes)?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 June 22
          Windrose permalink

          Great Minds Think Alike. 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 June 22
          Jen permalink

          That makes so much more sense than my suggestions. Except the ones about Aardvarks and marmalade.

          Adores: 3
  26. 2011 June 21
    Windrose permalink

    Jen, Funky, Mindee, Innana! Everyone! We are taking over Facebook!

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 June 21
      Jen permalink

      Naww, and I always promised myself I’d be in at the start of the next revolution!! But, sadly, I am at work and have no Faceyfacey. I shall post typically-belated comments tonight! Huzzah!

      Adores: 1
  27. 2011 June 22
    Windrose permalink

    Smedley and Camille, here are your well-deserved, approved by Llama-nun and Ostrimu (MBBUT) Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Raccoon City!

    Adores: 2
  28. 2011 June 22

    Are you sure that isn’t Basement Cat? There is something very Basement Cat-tish about that creature. I hear Basement Cat likes to air himself out from time to time and loves to hide behind speakers blaring Black Sabbath’s greatest hits.

    But I might be wrong.

    Adores: 0

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