YSaC, Vol. 1019: I’m on a highway to … Flagstaff??
2011 June 23
two 1947 arizona highways – $10
im trying to sell my arizona highways i had them for a long time and now i have no more use for them if interested please call xxx-xxx-xxxx thank you
I hope he’s more successful than I was the time I tried to sell that bridge on Craigslist. Some guy named Joey the Tuna kept calling me and asking if it was a good place to make things disappear from, saying, “If you know what I mean.”
So what could I do with two 1947 Arizona highways? I mean, other than tie them together into a knot to try to confuse that pesky roadrunner, because that trick never works.
Thanks, James!
[Note: It turns out that Arizona Highways is a long-running travel magazine, but I like my interpretation better.]
1. Buy highways
2. Turn them into toll roads
3. ???
4. Profit!!!!
I’d rather turn them into troll roads. Charge all the billy goats.
What’s yer favorite color?
Blue. No yel– auuuuugh!
How long does it take to charge a billy goat, anyway?
About a minute if you have a credit card scanner. Longer if you still use those things that take an impression of his card.
If it’s the first charge the manual says to charge them for at least 24 hours.
Don’t charge me! My older brother is going to come across this bridge and he is much wealthier than I am so he can pay even more if you hike up the price. I’m sure he wont mind paying for me too. He paid my bail after all. Now let me cross the border please.
You can’t cross the border in Arizona.
*random document search*
You puzzle me. There is a border between Mexico and Arizona. It’s not legal for a billy goat to cross it but they do it anyway.
Except down there they call them Guillermo cabras.
Aha! You learn something everyday on here.
1. Buy highways
2. Turn them into drag strips (I drove through Arizona when I went from CA to FL, and God knows I never saw a curve….)
3. Contract Pinks: all out on one and use the other for Run what you brung for $10/entry
4. Profit!!!!
[doing just that corey]
State of Texas actually has tried this specific hair-brained scheme.
They took some Rights-of-Way and sold them. Primary buyer was a Spanish consortium. Bad part is that no one explained how you really want to do “lease buy back” if you are doing this. See, the roads are built to the owner’s specifications. The costs are also set to the owner’s needs, too.
So, if a person does not want to drive on I-35, they have the option to take the private toll road that now connects Waco to Dripping Springs, you just need $57 or some such. Unless there has been a recent change, they are not on TollTag, either.
TxDoT is not allowed to do this anymore.
[/corey]
Is one of them Carefree Highway? I have a minty Ventura Highway that I can trade.
It’s a highway song.. you sing it on and on.. on and on..
Sounds more like a Highway to Hell…..
In case of a need of a different spin on some songs, let me offer
“Hayseed Dixie”
One more song about moving along the highway…
I am going to be so sad if no one knows that song.
Do you hear Carole King or Rod Stewart singing it? I always hear Carole King.
Carole King wrote it and initially performed it. That’s who I was thinking of and thank you for speaking up. I wont be sad.
I thought it was Gordon Lightfoot.
Oil Slick Highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you….
I still have my “Tapestry” album, and I do mean album: the vinyl kind. Where have the years gone?!
I actually have two LPs and a c.d. of Tapestry. One LP is too scratched up to play so I am framing it. I listen to the other LP at home and the c.d. in the car. I got to see her in concert with James Taylor last year, it was awesome!! I know the album came out before I was born but I like a lot of media that was created before I was born. Often more than I like new things. Such as Justin Bieber.
Get your kicks on Rte 66…for $10 bucks?
Awesome.
Reckon I could take a side trip to Radiator Springs? I hear there’s an abandoned psychedelic shack up for sale. Yeah, the VW bus that lived there went to the big garage in the sky. 🙁
*wanders off with hammer to smash piggy bank*
It’s like a cover charge for the whole highway! Does it include alcohol? (Don’t drink and drive. Enjoy beverages responsibly. CBS cares.)
Wait…If I bought a highway wouldn’t it them become a buyway?
I’m so confused.
I think Sparky is trying to pass on his youth and good times. He’s been riding these highways since 1947, and he’s finished with them and wants someone else to have them. Cheap.
Oh God, it’s a suicide note!!!
Dear Craigslist,
I have lived a long life filled with many cracks and potholes. I have enjoyed the Arizona breeze which brought fall out from nuclear testing coursing through my now nonexistent hair. I enjoyed cruising through Sedona before it was cool. I enjoyed the long nights of coyote howling and bear mauling. I once even found a scorpion in my ear canal. I’ve had my taste of the joys of life and have felt the caresses of a loving Tarantula. I am leaving for that beautiful highway in the sky so I need to sell these highways I have enjoyed in life. I will sell them to you cheap but you have to come and pick them up.
Sparky Hernandez
And I thought tentacle prawn was unusual …
*note to self: do not Google “human-arachnid porn”; just don’t*
It is a bad idea to Google human-anything porn. Just say no to porn-googling.
Dear Mr. Sparky Hernandez,
I’ve recently acquired some Perishing Rugs which I can let go at bargain-basement prices.
Please send all your OBO and I shall remit rugs. After all, you won’t be needing any OBO’s where you’re going.
Thank you for
condescendingconsidering my offer.I dunno, man. I’d have to see the condition of those highways first. You know some of these highway slumlords, never take care of the asphalt so they get pockmarked with potholes, cracks, never clean up the roadkill or the leftover bits from vehicular accidents. Fixer-upper highways almost never bring a good return on investment. But I could probably part with a few side streets and an avenue, maybe a nice crescent from a gated community I got cheaply because a hobo peed on it and the residents just didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. (It cleaned up nicely though. Just the faintest occasional whiff of Jägermeister on a hot day.)
I’m leery about buying roadways on CraigsList, the last one I bought gave me such a terrible case of road rash it looked like I was a doll made of hamburger.
Is that what happened to Lady Gaga when she wore that meat dress? She was actually a victim of road rash?
Roadkill, maybe…
mmmmmmm, pumpernickel roadkill.
That’s probably because they used cheap imitation asphalt made with used motor oil, marshmallow fluff and Skoal expectorant. Gotta stay away from that stuff, my nose swells up to three times its size at the slightest whiff. I end up looking like Jimmy Durante through a fish-eye lens.
Mmmmm, marshmallow fluff
I’ve been told it’s vegetarian and not made with the simmered carcasses of roadkill and discarded toenails.
[corey] It’s not really vegetarian because it has gelatin it. Not much gelatin but gelatin all the same. I have to admit that is the one thing I can’t give up. I just try not to think about it when I eat something with it and I look for pectin alternatives. [/corey]
When I was a kid I’d have Marshmallow Fluff and Nutella sandwiches.
[matt] Speaking of Nutella, they must have had one of the most disingenuous marketing campaigns ever. I mean, it was always pronounced Nutella, right? The first syllable being, of course, nut, as in hazelnut. But several years back they started advertising it and pronouncing it like new-tella, emphasizing its allegedly nu-tricious content — y’know, the milk and the nuts.
Never mind that it has 7 freaking calories per gram. By comparison, potato chips, chocolate bars, and just about every other bad-for-you snack averages 5 calories/gram. [/matt]
Mmmm… Jimmy Durante…
For $15, I’ll throw in the Brooklyn Bridge.
..if you’ll buy that I’ll throw the Golden Gate in FREE!!
Could I get London Bridge with a complimentary map to Amelia Earhart’s crash site?
Not for free, but I’m willing to barter. I have some old flip-flops and a burned out radiator to put into the offer.
I’ll throw in a truck full of bees. By using a catapult. Aimed at your home.
Well, “London Bridge fell down and moved to Arizona” is part of having London Homesick Blues I’m told . . .
TREBUCHET!!!
Gezundheit!
You went all classy on us AddictedReader. I’ll admit it sounds much prettier. That way you can hurl a truck full of bees with class and prettiness.
Layst tahm ah pult onna cat, the dang thang bit me…
It’s an awesome word and an awesome concept. I love it!
EAR WORM!!!
It’s really a shame these highways aren’t in Central Pennsylvania. How I love the Hershey Highway. (I’ll be in the corner)
OK Lou – I just spit on my screen. Do you like Hershey Kisses, too?
*Move over a bit – I think it might get crowded in the corner again today.*
:strings CAUTION tape around Grampdaddy and Lou’s corner:
I think everyone is going to want to stay out of that particular corner for a while.
Someone get the bleach!
You guys might as well watch something educational while in the corner:
fully edible meat made from – Yup!
Yeah, that’s been all over the place.
But to be fair, most plants are basically made from poo, so it’s not beyond expectation that we’d eventually cut out the middle man.
*makes note to never, ever, ever eat again..and notices the plus side is – best.weight-loss.program.ever – rushes to copyright poo cook/diet book*
You could market it as the ultimate in recycling.
So do you count poo burgers as a meat or as something completely unknown to man until now? I know it can’t be considered a meat substitute like tofu because it comes from living beings, in this case people. And probably the recently deceased as well. Either way WHY ARE THEY SPENDING MONEY ON THIS? Ok, sorry for shouting.
I don’t need any more highways. When I bought the M4 motorway TacoMa’am said I had to stop.
Oh, come on. You can have just one more. It’s wafer thin!
Yes, Mr Creosote… just one thin mint!
Thank you Mindfield, for that mental image in the morning!
I prefer the Nestle’s Highway.
N-E-S-T-L-E-S …
Nestles makes the very best…
road….
way!
This is the first post made by a state in the history of Craigslist. I think. Arizona has taken over the computers and is selling parts of itself on Craigslist. Does that mean it should have been in the personals? Should it have been in State for Man (S4M) or State for Woman (S4W)? Maybe it’s both. Arizona is pretty diverse.
Except in Winslow. There you get to stand on the corner and get run over by a flat bed Ford.
We may lose and we may win, but we will never be here again.
Come on baaaaa-by
Don’t say maaaaa-ybe.
Well, shit, Mudsy, that was *precisely* the earworm I’d been hoping to avoid ever since I first read the ad … Thanks!
*wanders off, singing “Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy …”*
Oh come on…I only threw it in there for earworm practice.
But it was such a fine sight to see.
Speaking of vinyl…
I’ve been to Arizona. I’m not inclined to buy any of it, thank you very much. I have enough boiling hot weather and dirt here.
Flagstaff might suit you better. I lived there for three years and it was much more pleasant than the cities to the south. I have to say I loved Tucson despite the heat. I would also recommend Sedona. It is gorgeous and filled with crazy people. You would fit right in.
I’ve always wanted to visit Sedona, it’s supposed to be filled with crystal-waving dolphin-talkers.
I thought it was filled with soccer moms.
I’ve always thought “Sedona” sounded like the name of a pharmaceutical, possibly of the tranquilizer or sleep-aid variety, e.g., “Mother’s little helper” = Sedona.
I thought it was a Latina folk singer.
It is filled with many crystal-waving dolphin-talkers and people who believe there are vortexes out there. I just dated a guy who said he found a vortex under a trash can. I suspect shrooms were involved. As for your remark Lola, there are many many places in Sedona that can sell you enough drugs to kill an elephant. So you are pretty on target with that idea.
BTW, I am dating him anymore.
He must have been looking under the trash bin at Starbucks. It’s where they store all their suck.
[coffee snobbery] I thought Starbucks put all their suck in the redonkulously huge, over-branded cups of brown sugar-and-burnt-death people buy from them? [/coffee snobbery*]
*Despite being a dyed-in-the-wool tealady.
I left out the word not. I am not dating him anymore. derp
[corey]vortices[/corey]
Jen, they have Starbucks on the bottom of the world?!?!?
Arizona highway, in the sunshine;
Where the days are longer, the nights are stronger than moonshine
You’re gonna go, I know
Where the free tables blow across the road
And the days run on like nacho cheese heads
Freedom’s crying – only $10!
While the auntie stains bake in the sun!!
doo-dee-do, doo-dee-do-do, doo-dee-do
I think I get it now. This isn’t really a sale at all. It’s a sting operation. The roads in question are just bait to catch illegals coming in from Juarez. They think they’re going to get a deal for a road they could use to cross the border legally– because it’s their road, but really as soon as they try to come and inspect the road Sherrif Joe Arpaio is waiting there to slap the cuffs on after beating them up a little and stealing their wallet.
This is a bad deal. In 1947, highways were in beta. You’d have to upgrade and spend so much before you can run anything current on it. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t cost $5 each new! Sparky thinks he has some antiques here.
It’s a Garmin. Pack plenty of water. You run the risk of getting terribly lost.
http://cgi.ebay.com/1947-Arizona-New-Mexico-road-map-Chevron-oil-route-66-/400219035623
Space Ghost fans sing with me:
I’m driving down Highway 40 in my big, ol’ pickup truck…
Taco may have heard this one…
I don’t give a f**k,
I’ve got a heater in my truck,
And I’m going to the rodeo!
Well, life’s like a road that you sell online
For just one price, we’ll add a road sign
Sometimes you bid, sometimes you don’t
Sometimes you barter, sometimes you won’t
There’s a world online, people sell their stuff
For insane prices and old ear muffs
For the brave it’s free, we can find it all
Come browse with me for a new shower stall!
We won’t hesitate
To buy an old garden gate
There’s not much time to pay, yay!
Life is on Craigslist, I wanna buy it
All the things!
If you’re going online, I wanna buy it
All the things!
Through all these listings from all these towns
We’ve found some swag, good stuffs abound
I love the hooves with their sequins, thanks!
Some old Crisco and dead piggy banks
From New York State to those Boise quacks
South Dakota or the Razorbacks
You post it up
for some profit gain
But you’re not so great
At this selling thing
There’s no limit to
How much we’ll make fun of you
We’ll be there when you sell your duck
or your bee-filled truck!
Life is on Craigslist, I wanna buy it
All the things!
If your going online, I wanna buy it
All the things!
I think SL gets my crush du jour for this.
Whoo-hoo, SL! Well done!
I have a 2 year old… we watch a LOT of Disney/Pixar’s “Cars.” He can ‘sing’ along to it by now.
Well, that just made me feel old! I remember the original … from college. I drove a lot to my summer school classes the summer that was big and was rather in agreement that a lot of my life at that time, if not life in general, was a highway.
Buy all the things!
Much like Clean All the Things!
El Capitan looked up to the upper right corner of the screen and cursed. “Damn, that foolish old man has given away my secrets and called attention to my plot.” He thought for a moment and whispered quietly to himself, “I’ll teach him to slip into the box unexpectedly. If I can just get him alone on this road in Arizona…”
Congrats on being the bawks, Grampdaddy, but are you sure you want to be in there after Taco was yesterday? Here, have some antibacterial wipes. And Lysol.
If SexyFingers was in the box, you might need a t-shit to clean up.
I was going to suggest a haz-mat suit, personally.
Is OK – I wrapped myself in Saran-Wrap before I climbed in.
[corey] Back in the ’60s, some people (also called pregnant teens) considered that a suitable method of birth control. The majority were proven to be incorrect. [/corey]
Yes, I am a Saran Wrap baby myself.
I was planned but showed up a year early. What can I say? I’m punctual, and then some! Once it was confirmed I was on my way, I arrived on my predicted due-day.
I am a condom baby and no, it didn’t break or fall off. I am that .01% failure rate when used properly
WOW! – and we thought Taco was magic! You must be a time-traveler, Sister “Look Who’s Here” Lyle.
Magicalness runs in the family.
Kelli: If you don’t play the lottery you really really should start.
I’m a Reynold’s Wrap baby. I was easy to clean up and my baked potatoes were de-licious!
I cannot imagine the circumstances of my conception, except that it must have been exceedingly proper. If I did not physically resemble my parents, I’d suspect I was left on the doorstep by fairies.
I am a there-is-no-way-you-will-ever-bear-children baby. My motherstill calls me her “miracle” baby. ugh
Dad? Yeah, when he was lucid he never failed to tell me he had a disappoint in my very existence.
“Never wanted kids in the first place!”
*grumble, grumble*
Guess who gets to take care of Dad-the-Kid now?
God surely has a sense of humor.
Rich Corinthians leather 1:14
“I do indeed have a rich sense of humor, but I am not who am the Shirley.”
I thought that passage read, “I am thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius.”
Crispus I assume is some sort of lettuce and Gaius is some sort of party drug.
I thought that was Pleathinicians 1:15… right before the more famous passage:
“You all suck; I’m leaving and taking my friggin’ divinity with me. Jerks.”
Pleathinicians? Was that Paul’s letters to the dinosaurs? Because if it was, I loved the part where Ringo walked on the tar pit.
No no no no. You’re thinking about the Book of Scattalonians. Pleathinicians records Sam and Frodo’s journey thru WalMart in search of Limmikins the hamster.
Come on people. This is grade school level stuff. Jeez. This is why this country is going straight to Hell.
*wipes tears from eyes*
Whew! Thanks I needed that.
Actually, my favorite verse is the one cited by Billy Connolly’s (crazed, Bible-quoting, murderous) character in “An Everlasting Piece,” from St. Paul’s Letter to the Hermaphrodites: “Dear Hermaphrodites: Go f*ck yourselves.”
*climbs into handbag, goes straight to hell in it*
Oh, soooooo many places to go with that…
I thought it was Raquel W. who walked on the tar pit.
Her costume got all sticky and they had to cut most of it away.
Back to earlier topic in this thread, both my sister and I have birthdays in September, mine on the 11th and hers on the 12th. We always figured Mom and Dad had a really good New Years Eve party those years. My brother’s birthday is in December, no idea what happened there. Valentine’s Day?
Are you’ns Irish? ST. Patty’s Day?? I hear a little green beer goes a long way…
Especially with a Rufi…
And many of us were very grateful.
Just for the record: Tar is a bitch to get out of fur. And pubic hair. Don’t ask.
Sorry to break it to you Bombdude, but there is nothing funny about Rufis. That can, and does, happen to many women who trusted the person who drugged them and then woke up to wonder if they were pregnant or infected with HIV or if video or pictures were taken of them while unconcious. That’s before they even start to feel like it’s their fault because they were stupid enough to trust the guy. If you want to know why date rapes are reported most of the time, it’s because the woman feels ashamed.
Sorry to go all serious on you guys. I just can’t let stuff like that go by without saying something. I have a good friend who was date raped twice because she trusted who she was with. She never reported them because she was too ashamed. She didn’t even tell anyone what had happened for several years. That is more common than you can imagine.
Consider me properly paddled, Lara for my insensitive attempt at humor…
Heh heh. Paddled.
Huh.
I always thought it was spelled like “roofies”.
Pretty close Windy, I was born on my brother’s birthday.
SpaceBug, my uncle (by marriage) was born on his sister’s birthday. He is married to my aunt, my mother’s sister, and his birthday is the same as my mother’s, as well. And they have a grandnephew who … I think you can guess the rest.
@Lara
re: Rufis
Thank you Lara – as a dad, grandpa, uncle, etc., I appreciate your taking a stand on this. There is never a problem with “going all serious” with this group when the need is present.
Having read Bombdude’s comments for more than a year, I believe he sincerely did not consciously intend to bring offense. He’s just too nice a guy even if he does like to play with things that go boom.
I believe you Grampdaddy. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. I just objected to what he said. Astro is right, it is spelled roofies. I guess I was too into what I was saying to notice. Either way, the idea was the same.
[confused once again by sparky corey]
Uh, I was not around in 1947, but, I want to remember that the periodical “Arizona Highways” was not an annual. So, is this a complete collection of the 1947 edition? Or two samples from Vol XXIII?
Given that it looks like individual months eBay for about $5, a complete edition of 10 to 12 issues would be a pretty good price at only $5.
But, given the previously demonstrated precision of Sparkies, this could equally be road maps from Tommy Magliozzi’s old Dodge Dart, too . . .
[/on the road again corey]
[Confused in general corey]
What in the world are you talking about, Cap’n?
[/bwa?]
Sister – that question applies….well, just about every time Capn speaks.
Personally, I do a little deskside happy dance when I do “get” him. Makes me feel all smart and setch.
Ok.
Let us presume what Sparky has actually for sale is not the Arizona State Highway system in whole or part.
Let us then presume that Sparky meant the travel-related publication.
Said publication is printed in yearly Volumes of 12 (monthly) issues each.
If we browse other locations where such things are sold by persons demonstrably smarted than the average (or this specific) Sparky, they tend to identify not the year, but the year and the month, when selling individual issues. (Looking on eBay, Vol XXIII, #11, Nov 1947, sells for between $5 and $8 per copy.)
Since Sparky tells us they have a quantity of two, and only indicates the year, then, perhaps, they have all twelve issues from 1947, and twice over.
Such a collection could have a retail value of $40-60, so both for $10 is cheap, a good buy.
If, in fact, Spark’ just has two stray copies of the magazine, both from the year 1947, well then, that’s not so good a deal.
Bonus points though, that Spark has not priced them $5 each, or both for $15, though.
Sparky, however, might have just found a pair of old Chevron highway maps (probably refolded badly) of Arizona and is offering those for sale.
Oooh… I wasn’t aware that was a travel-related product of that name. It’s starting to make more sense now!
I think my brain is trying to throw itself out of my ear after reading that.
“Car Talk” on NPR – couldn’t be better!
The magazines would be more helpful than the roadmaps from that time. Tucson is at least twice the size it was then and has installed many roads.
Hey, our highways are very useful. They double as grills in the summer.
Think of all that propane and/or charcoal burketts you’ll save!
Are burkettes the toddler version of burkas?
Mothers in hot climates swaddle their young suchly to protect them from the glaring rays of the sun.
Which has the added benefit of locking in that delicious new(ly cooked) baby smell that we all love.
Yes, and swaddling them holds in those mouth watering baby juices.
There’s really never a bad time to post this link, is there?
OMGWTFBBQ! For babies! New! Tasty!
Sparky’s Arizona highways seem to be dead ends
In Soviet Russia, end deads you!
[Blog Spam OT]
….Bwahahaha!
[/ot]
I was so that glad you posted this. In fact, I think I’m going to be using this phrase now, as I like it so that much.
And just WTF is the point of spamming a blog, anyway?
Usually they provide a link to their blog/website/store via their username in hopes someone will click on it, and also to provide a boost in their SEO results — i.e, if this popular and well-respected blog links back to their site, it will improve their standings in a search engine.
This type of blog spam is using a thesaurus approach, implemented by non-native speakers, which leads to this type of hilarity.
I think you dropped your corey tags, O Holiest of Ungulates.
(BBUY)
I got a similar one this morning. I’ve kept it in my spam folder for future hilarity.
I’m jealous. All I get are ads for dubious software in Russian.
In Soviet Russia, the software installs YOU.
I still have never received spam. Which surprises me, considering I’ve gotten visitors from the USA, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Taiwan, Mexico, Canada, Ireland, The UK, Germany, Australia, India, Russia, France, Jamaica, and China.
If I buy my own highways, there will never be traffic! Think I can move these from Ariz. to Del./N.J.?
Happy birfday AR!!!!
Will we be serving punch and pie?
Heh heh. Pie.
Well, Windy is in charge of punch(es), and I make cake rather than pie. But I’m happy to share the cake!
Ooh, I’ve never had kosher cake before!
:thinks:
It doesn’t have pickles in it, does it?
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Stay away from the monkey,
She’s been known to throw poo.
Mmm, pickles. Ew, poo.
Happy you-day, AR! 🙂
Ignore Grampdaddy, AR, he just won’t let the past go.
*rummages around behind back, reveals brown unidentified pile with candle in it*
Here, a birthday cupcake for ya!
Yea! Happy Birthday!
Ignore Grampdaddy, AR, he just won’t let the past go.
It’s more than that Monkey Child – your flinging got stuff all over my new silk tedd…
Never mind.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to you, AR! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Happy Birthday AR. Here’s a little thought from Dorothy Parker, to keep you thinking young…….
When I am old, and comforted,
And done with this desire,
With Memory to share my bed
And Peace to share my fire,
I’ll comb my hair in scalloped bands
Beneath my laundered cap,
And watch my cool and fragile hands
Lie light upon my lap.
And I will have a sprigged gown
With lace to kiss my throat;
I’ll draw my curtain to the town,
And hum a purring note.
And I’ll forget the way of tears,
And rock, and stir my tea.
But oh, I wish those blessed years
Were further than they be!
Thanks, all! It’s been a great birthday. 😀
And no, no pickles. I’m making a chocolate cake and a ginger crinkle cake, then my creative friend is decorating one for me and one for Mr.AR, whose birthday is Sat.
ATTENTION CRAIGSLISTERS
I have highways to sell.
For 420 you can be the proud owner of your very own exclusive private highway.
These highways are much better when shared with friends because, you know, a friend with a highway is a friend my way.
I also have two parkways for sale -great for driving on,
and due to my fire sale, I’m plum out of garages so I also have a driveway to sell -great for parking on.
But wait, there’s more.
Also for sale is a used lot. It has been around the block, but is still very useful in making donuts.
Oh, so that’s where the non-kitchen-cleaning stoners wound up!
Are they non-stick non-kitchen-cleaning stoners? Or should they be sprayed with Pam? Assuming Pam is willing. I don’t know where I am going with this.
PAM!
OT – And proof positive I spend way too much time with you people…
Part of my “real” job is maintaining a database whereby all work-related observations – made by supervisors, workers, contractors, etc. – are kept.
This database includes comments by the observers.
Today’s sinus-enema brought to you by the following comment:
“Observed contractors in confined space, no deviant behavior evident.”
FIVE minutes later, I compose myself enough to come tell y’all about it.
“Will be introducing coffee and donuts into the system of quantities far below those needed to sustain the population. Evidence suggests that cannibalism may be observed within as little as 25 minutes.”
This isn’t as strange as you may think. As you may or may not know, some contractors will perform unnecessary work in order to pad their bill. In an open system with multiple contractors doing work the amount of padding can increase dependent upon the amount of work to be done versus the cost estimate given to the client and the amount of the materials required.
In a closed system, however, these same padding-prone contractors will begin to perform unnecessary work. Since within this closed system space and materials are limited, each contractor will attempt to pad as much as possible. Once the work is completed, the contractors, having nowhere else to go and nothing left to pad without being conspicuous, begin do unnecessary work on each other. This form of contractual cannibalism will continue until they are all dead.
Therefore, when interviewing for new contractors, it is now standard procedure for one of the interview phases to include being locked in an enclosed space for a period of time to see if any of them start to exhibit padding behaviour and then have them removed.
*reads freaky-puppy post and wonders if he is, in fact, the Capn*
Erm…uh..I have no idea.
Yeah, I can go all geeky power-plantinease on you if you like. 😉 But, where I work a “confined space” is a work area that is…well, confined or confining. Generally, there is only one egress route….and to add to the unintentional hilarity, a confined space is assigned a “hole watch”…*snerk* – you people have corrupted me.
I was going to remind M”D-F”f that he should have corey tags on that, but by the time I got to the end, I had changed my mind…
Happy Birthday to you! *offers the services of Sven*
Hmmm. Is Sven kosher?
I think the better question is: is he circumcised?
**reads what he has just typed and, for some reason, clicks submit anyway**
Just don’t tell Mr.AR about it. 😉
I came from the future to say that it’s one year later and it is still AR’s birthday! Woo-hoo!
Woohoo! Birthday Girl!
YSaC, where it’s always AR’s Birthday!
“Observed contractors in confined space, no deviant behavior evident.”
Well, it’s obvious they need a corner to go sit in…
I just got my vehicle fixed and I’m ready to test drive it. Gimme my highway and get outta the way.
Just remember LL, this highway comes from this side O’ the pond, so you have to drive your left handed car on the right (wrong) side of the road. Don’tcha go gettin’ all Britishy on these here ‘merican roadways…
LimeLolly’s Britishishishish???? I never knew!
Now, I know Shreveport is all up in the yankee part of Louisiana; but, I’ve not heard it called british (brutish, over to Bossier City, where all the sinnin’ is at, mebbe).
England AFB, is there in Alexandria, though; they doan kno’ iffin theys cajun ‘r creole upit’ar–all overn the road, mostly [you can buy distilled spirits in grocery and convenience store in LA].
Cap’n, you’re giving me flashbacks to Mark Twain. Make it stop.
I think it’s just the nickname of ‘Limey’ – it sounds British. Perfectly understandable. And I do have a tendency to drive on the wrong side of the road. Or at least take my half out of the middle.
OT:
Captured in my spam filter today.
I would make good use of it if I could comprehense it.
@ Lime “Leadfoot” Lolly+ Shotgun!
Windy ‘Navigator’ Rose — naturally! 8)
Is a comprehense really the french name for a conference for hens? Mais oui, bawk bawk bawk
Ah, yes, Lara. A tout a houres. Wee.
Are houres anything like mine hors?
Gramp “El Capitan” Daddy, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch!
And AR, a little birthday Punch!
G’Night, Four Corners!
This nickname thing is getting out of hand. 8) This is a good thing.
I have no idea what you’re talking about 😀
I’ve been sick this week and barely able to get online for any length of time. Now that I’m wired silly late at night(thanks medicine), I’m enjoying reading back over that last few days and catching up. I’m admiring everyone’s creativity. 🙂
I shall buy these highways. I will redirect one to Canada, one to Mexico. It will be my North American Superway, and it will be beautiful. Arizona will looooove it!
And there will be free access for all members of any country anywhere. Arizona will find itself in the middle of a new age!
A brave new world with love and acceptance for all…sigh. Bacon and burritos, hurray!
hmmm…bit of pan-fired back-bacon and papas fritas (pan-fried cubed potatoes to just crisp), with maybe some wilted onions and cliantro–this would make a tasty burrito-like snack.
Perhaps I should have eaten lunch.
These roads were supposed to be straight! How did I end up back here?
wanda, Astro, and Gary, Sunday morning breakfast in the box. Here’s a hot serving of Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Highway Men!