YSaC, Vol. 1031: You put your left foot in …
2011 July 11
Boy Statue / Scalpature Boy Looking at foot – $99
Scalpature Boy Looking at foot
Height is 4 inches wide is 1.5 inches
Mounted on italian marble Bianco (White) Carrara
Not sure if Brass or Bronze
Comes form my private collection
I bought this three years back in an estate sale auction
I was told that this peace is mentioned in “Antique Trader: Antique & Collectibles” Price Guide Edited By Kyle Husfloen Page 916
Peter sent this in, saying, “I can’t believe that Scalpature Boy Looking at Foot is the name of this artwork.” Well, Peter, it’s better than the other options the sculptor came up with, which included:
- A Boy and his Bunion
- Hey, I Can Almost Bite My Toenails
- Should That Be Oozing?
- Huh, I Guess it’s True; You Can’t Tickle Yourself
- Does This Jam Come in Strawberry?
Thanks, Peter!
“What did I step in? Oh, shi-”
Yak Poo. It’s alway Yak Poo.
Not in this part of Texas.
If yak excrement, you are inside the zoo, and not in the guest areas . . .
wildebeast?
Yes.
I’m relieved to know that it comes from Sparky’s private collection. I was a little concerned that the world-famous Sparky Museum of Tchotchkes and Dust Catchers was starting to deaccession its collection, and that would be a loss for all of humanity.
As opposed to Sparkie’s Pile of Public Kitsch (which the municipal Solid Waste collection people refuse to acknowledge), one supposes.
I read “Public Kitsch” with no ‘L’ and was deeply confused. And squicked out. The dustmen refusing to acknowledge it made perfect sense, though.
I rather think that stupid things like “vajazzling” (look up at own risk to both standards of decency and taste) might well qualify as pubic kitsch …
Well, the adhesive would ensure a certain tackiness… but for true ‘kitsch’ appeal, we at “OhMyGodGetItOffMeWhatHaveYouDone” Industries recommend a vajazzling in the form of the Virgin Mary (Holy Vanilla scent not included).
How can you call this artwork? It lacks the timelessness of a velvet Elvis, and the angst of a sad clown. It’s not even bedazzled!
But if you look at it the right way, it kinda sorta resembles a dog playing poker.
I know, right? This makes Hubby Monkey’s interior design (before he met me) look INSPIRED: He did the pics of tigers and leopard print motif in the bedroom. Gag.
Maybe I’m not as well read as I think I am and this is a depiction of a great work of literature. Did Michelangelo’s David step in a puddle of Goliath? Maybe Atlas dropped the heavens after he stepped on a stone and cut his foot?
“pics of not.a.lions and leopard”
There, fixed it for you. 🙂
The bedazzeling! When will they think about the bedazzeling!!!!? Boys, girls, wondering in the street dazed with no bedazzeled shoes, drinking un-bedazzled water, carrying their un-bedazzaled rowing machines in wheelbarrows! Sweet Mother of Rhinestones when will it stop?! Let the world hear us cry out “Bedazzeling for all and to all a good night.” In the immortal words of Darles Chickens “Bedazzle us, every one!”
{matt} and {/matt} There you go.
I wonder if that scalpature is part of a series of others. Maybe the others are of a little girl plucking her eyebrows and of a mom lancing a boil on daddy’s hairy back. Or of a doctor giving a prostate exam. Why would anyone want preserve this moment? And then why would someone else pay money for it?
I’ve seen this before, but it was a plaster statue of a nude woman with a splinter in her foot. And it was a prop in an episode of The Avengers.
I’ve seen it too! But when I saw it it was a bronzed, nude woman holding up a table.
Hi kids!! Back from vay-kay…and…OMG…what a crazy week I had!
Storytime!! No – not about the vacation, one relating to Boy Staring at Growth on Foot.
I once worked for a major retail establishment, at the corporate headquarters, and our CEO/Owner was a Man-of-Questionable-Tastes when it came to art.
He LOVED to decorate in dolphin decor. Dolphin pictures, 3-D dolphin pictures, lighted dolphin pictures, velvet painting dolphin pictures – bet you didn’t even know those existed did you? – and so on…if it had a dolphin on it, the man owned it.
So…he goes on a cruise with his girlfriend-du-jour…no, wait, this one was the “love of my life” . Never mind that he met her at a “gentleman’s” club, was twice her age and loaded. She loved him for him.
Riiiiiiiiiiight.
So, he goes on the cruise and we start getting overseas shipments of stuff he’s bought (with company funds it turns out, which is why shortly thereafter he was referred to as the “former CEO of major retail chain”), and although everything is crated we take bets on how many dolphins he found depicted in Italian art…it was kind of like a pool amongst the three executive secretaries – myself and two others – and one heavy crate was simply too intriguing to resist.
We found a hammer and began prying the nails out of the wood. Eventually, the “art” was revealed.
It was a bronze-ish statue of what looked like “The Thinker”, only the thinker was staring at a pod of dolphins frolicking in a pond at his feet. Scale? We doan need no steenkin scale!
Bizarre is a good way to describe the 4 foot monstrosity, and CEO loved it.
/end storytime and back to work…grumble, grumble…busy, busy, busy…
Ah Dolphins, therapist of the sea.
…
That doesn’t seem right, let me check something real quick…
Yeah, I typoed it.
“Ah Dolphins, the rapists of the sea.”
There we go.
I don’t know if it’s an urban rumor, but I’ve been told that at times when people are swimming with dolphins in tourist environments that the dolphins (usually described as male) can get, er, a bit too friendly in a certain way.
Wikipedia says it is true so it must be:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolphin#Reproduction_and_sexuality
even CNN is in on the aggressive dolphins stories:
http://articles.cnn.com/2002-06-04/world/uk.dolphin_1_ric-o-barry-dolphin-swimmers?_s=PM:WORLD
When I was in 7th grade, our class went on a field trip to the Miami Seaquarium. My friend Patti and I were in a section where you went below ground and viewed the dolphins through large windows in their tank. We apparently caught the eye of one of the male dolphins and he began swimming back and forth in front of the window. Dolphin’s reproductive organs are concealed within their body, and when a male dolphin decides to extend his… let me just say that it was quite a shock to two little 12-year olds.
Lola, that’s just an urban myth created by people who are afraid of the vastness of the ocean and are making up excuses not to go into the water. I’ve been in the water many times with wild dolphins and they’re curious about people. They will approach someone and perhaps bump into them but they’re not about to wrap a 30-foot flexible penis around someone’s body like a kraken’s tentacle and drag them down to the sea floor to rape them, as the urban myth goes.
Dolphins also appear to be approximately the size of submarines when viewed through a scuba mask 🙂
**Edit: after reading Lilly’s links I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps it’s just that dolphins don’t find me appealing. Hmph.
One of the many reasons I love NZ is that we had a national pet dolphin, Moko, who hung out at a popular beach every summer for several years, playing with people and rescuing whales from stranding (srsly). One year the Department of Conservation started doing pre-summer Moko-PSA’s, basically telling people that this year they shouldn’t approach Moko, as he was getting a bit *too* friendly, as he’d become confused about his identity, thought he was a human and that he would therefore try to mate with other humans. Seeing this said by a super-straightfaced DoC high-up (who all wear shorts all year round, have beards and generally look like kindly old grandfathers who live in the bush) made for some awesome viewing.
WET GODDESS:Recollections of a Dolphin Lover And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
I’m adding the sample chapter to my Library of the Damned “To Do” list. I may buy the book just so I can savage the whole thing.
The site design itself is good for a whole post!
I used to work with a guy that decorated his office with dolphin paraphenalia. We told him that dolphins maybe made him look like he was, er, not hetereosexual. We made sure we told him that we didn’t see anything wrong with that, or course not! Gasp! We made him question his sexuality, which was hilarious, cause he was kind of a hater.
This discussion of dolphins will become even more relevant later in the week.
Just sayin’.
Yeah, I’m psychotic like that. 😉
aren’t we all
What is with the upskirt shot? What possible good could come of taking a picture of a statue’s crotch? Other than to prove that Sparky’s artwork doesn’t have balls; brass, bronze, or otherwise.
I was all gearing up to make a comment on that shot too.
I think Pedo Steve here was thinking that a little pervy shot might pull in some extra money from some of the less… wholesome sources.
You know your head is in the right place at 6am on a Monday morning when you want to make some “undercarriage” snark, but find that YSaC legends Ghostcat and Taco have beaten you to it. I’m ready for my week!
To the corner with us!
I love a parade.
Oh no, I stole everyone’s crotch thunder!
Oooh, this corner has fresh coffee slices. Extra crunchy!
I always thought that the word for crotch thunder was “queef”.
Crotch Thunder has GOT to be a band name.
I’m thinking heavy metal.
Crotch Thunder is IF’s Sex Factory tribute band.
Today’s (unintentional) sinus-enema brought to you by our very own poo-flining monkey.
The reason for this is because it calls to mind a conversation I had at lunch one day with my two best friends.
One is 20 yrs. older than me, one 20 yrs. younger.
I’m all about diversity and bridging generation gaps.
The older one said she’d recently been to a bridal shower in which a crossword game was played.
The answer to one of the clues was “queef”.
VERY loudly, in a crowded restaurant, my elder friend says, “I had no idea what ‘queef’ meant, so I asked.”
At this point, instead of lowering her voice she only got louder as she said, “Did you know that a ‘queef’ is a _________(kitty)___________(emanation)?”
Iced tea and Dr. Pepper spewed from me and my younger friend as all eyes in the dining room turned to stare.
“Well, did you?”
We stared in stunned silence.
“I didn’t, that’s for sure.”
Young friend quickly changed the subject to something innocuous – the weather I think – as the room slowly returned to normal, with the exception of the occasional titter or giggle in our direction.
This is just one of many “moments” I’ve had with these two.
/end storytime…and dammit…still so busy…I guess actual work might have to happen today..grumble, grumble
just a little queef…
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c884db7c6b/queef-in-my-pants
Damn, kc! Wish I could do that….
::vajayjay envy sets in::
Ode to a Boy by Windrose J. Snarkfest
You look so sad and sit so still
You contemplate your foot.
You’re bronze or brass or finest gilt
You sit upon a root.
Uncle Wiki let me know
You come from Roman times.
If B.C means before coffee
No wonder you look so sad.
The End.
“Root”. Heh heh.
“Heh Heh.” Heh heh.
Taco. Box. That is all.
Yay, another trip to the principal’s box!
…
Uh… ew.
I’ve gotta be almost halfway to having enough punches on my non-euclidian daily box punch card for that 8 ounce coffee!
I’m saving my punches up for a new oven pot.
I’ve put my name on the waiting list for the amphibian Jello molds… that’s how close I am to redeeming my punches. Just 10 more punches and that ‘gator mold is mine!
I think there is a special going on for those cute miniature giraffes. You have to get your name on the list soon.
:blushes:
Thanks AR. I’ll get right on that.
Taco, the principal is especially interested in those weed plains of which you write.
Fractured Fairytales, or How I Spent an Hour of My Vacation….
Further evidence that you people have forever altered my perception of reality.
Hubby and I visited the “Bodies” exhibition while on vacation. For those who don’t know, it’s an exhibit of what I call “fileted” human bodies, showing various layers of muscle, bones, etc. The bodies are real and some polymer process plasticized them a long time ago. Nowadays, people pay $20 each to point and gawk at what lies beneath our collective skin.
Anyway, we were in the exhibit and noticed that most of the whole body displays were male.
This fact was also noticed, quite loudly, by a little girl behind us. She couldn’t have been over six years old, and yet quite knowledgeable about male anatomy. She was very proud of this knowledge as she went about the room pointing out each penis, loud enough for all to hear.
I could hardly stifle the giggles as in my mind the word “penis” was automatically replaced with “pecil” each time she said it.
What do you mean “you people”?
WELCOME BACK!
Thanks, FM!
Yeah, “you peeps”!
Or do you prefer the Southern – “All y’all”?
How ’bout – “Youse guys”?
Or – “Youse”?
Take yer pick.
[plastination corey]
The displays are male mostly as the “source” for the cadavers tends to be German prisons. There is a donation process used by von Hagens Institut, and they have taken some steps of late to mix “sources.” But, largely, body donation requires a situation where there is no, or limited, family wanting the remains.
For better or worse, it is the nature of the world that the male sex is better–for want of a better word–at being as discard-able as foot-puncturing thorn.
That being said, Körperwelten, are an excellent resource for students of anatomy, and for those curious about what is under all that dermis that makes us what we are. It also has an art aspect in reprising Vesalius and his ilk in setting humans in human activity, rather than as dissection subjects.
It’s not an exhibit to all tastes; and it’s also one that can help to have an informed guide to help explain some of the mechanics.
But, I could have a strong opinion, too.
[/corey]
I wish I had a nickel for every time I muttered “fascinating” as I walked through the exhibits that day.
I’d be one rich Texan.
[corey] I saw that exhibit when it came through town but the one that is touring the U.S. is not associated with the German exhibit that tours Europe. Most of the bodies in this exhibit come from unclaimed dead from China. There has been a fair amount of debate about if these are bodies of executed prisoners or even people killed to be sold for this purpose. Supposedly a bullet hole was found in one of the skulls. Of course the exhibit denies this. The polymer preservation technique was developed by Von Hagens but he is not associated with this exhibit. They actually seem to be a little pissed off that the technique is being used. The exhibit is actually run by an Atlanta based company called Premier Exhibitions. I tried to contact Dr. Roy Glover awhile ago for a paper I was writing, he is the chief medical dude for them, but didn’t get an answer back. I was a bit creeped out and I had to skip the fetus room.[/corey]
While this exhibition was on display in NYC, the Chinese origin and human rights of the cadavers prior to their being cadavers was a point of some discussion in the media; what I heard corresponds with Lara’s comment.
Hubby was the first to notice the decidedly Oriental look to the cadavers. No bullet holes or any type of trauma was in evidence, though. And, no mention of the origins of said cadavers was made. I daresay that speculation may give rise to imaginations run amuck if no clear indications of origin or requests for information are acknowledged.
I was middling lucky to see the German exposition when it came through Houston two years’ ago.
The use of actual human anatomy will always have controversy–been that way since Galen, not likely to change, either.
The other controversy is that the medical schools object to the the plastinators “using” cadavers that could have been used in medical schools. No easy answer, there, either–and will likely persist until some form of simulacrum can be made, like the new dental teaching robot just introduced.
Not to be a buzzkill but it is actually a copy (probably bronze) of a very famous Greco-Roman statue. There have been numerous copies made through the centuries. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_with_Thorn
Kristi — in case you haven’t noticed, we’re not really into reality at YSaC. That for the info anyway.
Kristi — yup, that’s what I linked to on the word “sculptor”. Believe it or not, I actually AM interested in providing a bit of education for readers.
My guess is that this is a relatively cheap copy, and that Sparky here thinks that since the historically relevant & interesting copies are listed in the antiques book, that he’s got something worthwhile on his hands — instead of just a thorn in his foot.
It’s the Carrara marble. He got it from Michelangelo’s backyard.
Yea, Michelangelo took the whole random-blocks-of marble-strewn-about approach to landscaping.
My thought was along the lines of “Yes, it’s a copy … but not a good one for which people would actually pay a lot of money.”
So what you’re saying is…that the ROMANS had sucky taste, and Sparky is just trying to profit off of it.
You dropped these. *hands Kristi the [corey] [/corey]*
[and if we really need to corey this]
It’s a classic example of trans-generational Sparki-ism.
The original is said to be Greek.
And the most ‘famous’ version was installed in front of the Roman Senate.
The best researched reason for that being, “Because it’s Greek.”
It remained there even after the purging of all the smuttier Roman statuary, probably as no one took it at all seriously.
Which then made it one of the oldest documented Roman statues, once age made finding original and Roman a rare thing to find still where it was first installed.
Just Roman enough to flush the doily and tea crowd, but not so salacious as to make them swoon, it’s the perfect thing to knock off in wholesale lots as Reisende kitsch, er, spazzatura turistico would be more language apropos.
Made in Italy having a lot more cachet the further from Italia one is, even to ignoring things like Heche en Italia, PRC labeling (instead of Fatto in Italia).
Ooh, look, a gen-u-ine Thai hefelant, an’ only 10,000 baht!
[/over-traveled corey]
There’s a replica in my hometown! Nobody knew what it meant or where it came from, though.
“Height is 4 inches wide is 1.5 inches”
I’m not sure you’ve got that ruler plugged in there, Sparky.
Maybe the tuner is broken? I find that when my ruler is set to the lower AM channels it doesn’t measure mass correctly.
In keeping with the theme: You can tune a piano, but you can’t tune a dolphin.
Adding to yours: You can’t polish a turd.
[too much cable TV over the holidays once corey]
They polished one on Mythbusters, FWIW.
[/televised nerdery corey]
The lion poop ball was very shiny, once they burned the stray hairs off.
Clear evidence Sparkie here is female, and has been told [this distance] is a foot long all her life.
Hey, where’d all this line and corner come from?
Thought bubble:
“I hate it when I get verdigris between the cracks of my toes.”
“Damn pigeons.”
“Squab”
“Stupid kids thinking they can hide their chewed gum there.”
If I remember geography correctly, Scalpature is a small province in Northern Comtemperania known for their singing sheep and rutabaga farms. It’s quite nice in the fall when they have their annual chicken festival.
Oh, I’ve always wanted to go to the chicken festival! I have the outfit and a batch of confetti eggs all ready.
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’
Watchin’ X-Files with no lights on
It gets my groove on
I hope the Burning Man’s in this one
Like Fox Mulder I’m getting frantic
Like Sting I’m tantric
Like *snickers* guaranteed to satisfy…..
Funny: I had “If I Had a Million Dollars” for an earworm this weekend. Gotta love The Ladies.
I really, really can’t help myself…
“I hope the Smoking Man’s in this one”
“Like Harrison Ford I’m getting frantic”
Sorry.
[corey on]And isn’t it “We’re dans la maison” (in the house) instead of “gets my groove on”?[/corey on]
Yeah Jen. Fox Mulder and Burning Man and *snickers* weren’t mentioned in the original lyrics either. I was sidetracked while renewing my poetic license at the (BMV) bureau of meme vehicles.
I actually looked up both scalpal and ature in a medical dictionary online and here’s what I got. Scalpal= pertaining to the scalp (not surprising) and ature=equipment (I am paraphrasing here). So it’s pretty simple, you rub this statue on your head. I bet it works better than Rogaine. Or maybe I mean Nair. Which you should never ever put on your head. Or face. My grandfather knew a man who used Nair to get rid of his beard and ended up with a bright red chemical burn in the place of the beard. Ramble Ramble Ramble jelly beans.
“Comes form my private collection”
Eww…
Yeah, and it’s “this peace”.
My first thought for a title:
“Sucking yourself off: you’re doing it wrong.”
Your post beside the adorable pic of the kitty = very very strange.
S’ok. Kitty retains his innocence.
OT: For a laugh. Danger kitty! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-1F-CokXNU&feature=player_embedded
OMG!! That is freakin’ hilarious!! Love that music, too.
Beware of the low hanging fruit. BWAHAHA!
That was awesome! I now have the hiccups from laughing.
It’s hilarious what cats decide to challenge.
If a man shot this video, I’d advise him to be wary of teaching the pointy-ended kitten that two round things on the bed are to be swiped at. Low hanging fruit indeed, MS! When Disdainful Cat was a kitten his idea of fun was to make it look as if I’d been cutting myself.
So, where’s the freaky puppy?
I think it’s his birthday today or thereabouts.
Taco, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Brian!
I think I went to school with Bianco Carrara. Not sure if I ever mounted him though.
So now you know… always wear shoes. It saves on a scalping later.
You and me, LiLo, we seem to be it today. Sigh.
Ayep (1604 CDT)
I’m here! I’m just admiring the sculperature-whatsit.
Yes, shoes are good. I’m required to wear shoes most all of the time. Not for the same reason that those working in brothels do though. What’s up with that? Maybe it’s just for the ones who work the street corner, that would make more sense. I’m a “do it yourselfer’ when it comes to making my feet shod, but these women hire a guy to take care of that for them. This “farrier” removes the old shoes and replaces them with new ones. I think they call it throwing iron…hmm, wierd. Why these women can’t do this themselves is beyond me. maybe it’s because they can’t bring themselves to drive nails into their feet to hold them on. Maybe they just want someone servicing them for a change. I don’t know. Maybe someone can explain it to me.
*pulls up to curb screeching tires*
I’m late! But I have another name for the scalpature (or however it’s spelled).
*ahem*
“That Sure Is A Big Stool There, Boy.”
Butterfly Collectors collect butterflies.
Coin Collecters collect Coins.
Doll Collectors collect dolls.
Private Collectors collect little boys staring at their feet.
I’m confused.
One, when a Mommy Collector and a Daddy Collector love each other very much, they go to the estate sale and look for bad copies of Roman statues depicting boys looking at their, uh, feet. Yeah. Feet. You’re welcome.
Oh no! I just looked at my feet! Does that mean I’m going to have a sculpture now?
There, I fixed it for you. 8)
Jimmy has corns and I don’t care
Jimmy has corns and I don’t care
Jimmy has corns and I don’t care
His plantar’s gone away.
Is this anything like figuring out the gender of a little puppy? You know, Dad holds the puppy up and looks at the bottom of his little paws. (feet) At least my Dad could always tell, using this method. Don’t forget, everyone, tomorrow is Monday.
Another pleasant valley Sunday…
The Saturday 2 Live Crew: Dave and Ferret Tribe, DigitalAxis, nojazzhere, MissMommyNiceNice, and HamCan, thank you for putting in all those hour of overtime. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Foot Soldiers!