YSaC, Vol. 1032: Well, that sucks.

2011 July 12

vacuum windsor commercial – $275


have a winsor commercial grade versamatic vaccuum works perfect my dad gave it to me but we soon ran out of bags and i dont want to buy anymore bags it comes with many extras i have a box full of parts as well with brush strips hose connection cravis attacment switches hepa filters and handle there are a more parts in there take a look at the photos im looking to get 275 cash vacuum works perfect i just dont have any bags for it and dont want to buy any this vacuum is used for commercial cleaning you have probley seen them used in hotels and other things there awesome you might think 275 is alot but here is a link to the windsor site look at the price of 750 dollers new retail price give me a call if your interested im open for offers xxx-xxx-xxxx here are some photos enjoy here is a link for a new one http://www.homeprovacuum.com/index.php?l=product_detail&p=81

*Note: there were other pictures, similarly gravity-defying in nature, providing the mandated enjoyment but not any new insight. At least the vacuum wasn’t outdoors.

My Google-fu reveals that bags for this model vacuum cleaner are available from multiple online retailers and start at a whopping $13 for a pack of 10. I can see why this would be a massive financial burden; it makes much more sense to just buy a new vacuum cleaner once you’ve run out of bags.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a new car. Mine’s out of gas.

Thanks, SD!

128 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 July 12
    funky monkey permalink

    “cravis attacment”

    Bwahahahahaha! Snort! I think I’ll throw that term at my OBGYN next visit. How do my cravises look, Dr? “They look like they probley could use some cleaning. Here, try this attacment”.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 12
      Lola permalink

      Or … cravis attacment = pecil?

      *gets coffee slice, goes to corner*

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 July 12
        Bombdude permalink

        I thought “strips hose connection” = Pecil

        Adores: 4
  2. 2011 July 12

    w nt t l v c mm nt b t m t f v w ls. W ll s ll c mm nt sp c f r $45. Sp c w rks w ll, j st d n’t w nt t b y v w ls.

    Adores: 17
    • 2011 July 12

      w s m . Y r my g rl-cr sh f r t d y.

      Adores: 8
    • 2011 July 12
      Lara permalink

      Just the vowels now! Come on everybody!

      ae a io oia eaai au uo ee y a ae i o e u e oo a ou o a a i o a o u ao a i oe i ay ea i ae a o u o a a e i u i o oeio ai aae ie ea ie a ae ee ae a oe a i ee ae a oo a e oo i ooi o e 275 a auu o ee i u o ae ay a o i a o a o u ay i auu i ue o oeia eai ou av oey ee e ue i oe a oe i ee aeoe you i i 275 i ao u ee i a i o e io ie oo a e i o 750 oe e eai ie ie e a a i ou ieee i oe o oe ee ae oe oos eo ee i a i o a e oe

      Isn’t that better? I think I need an asprin and to lie down for awhile now.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 12

        Now in chef!

        fecoooom veendsur cummerceeel – $275
        ——————————————————————————–
        hefe-a a veensur cummerceeel grede-a fersemeteec feccoooom vurks perffect my ded gefe-a it tu me-a boot ve-a suun run oooot ooff begs und i dunt vunt tu booy unymure-a begs it cumes veet muny ixtres i hefe-a a bux fooll ooff perts es vell veet broosh streeps huse-a cunnecshun crefees ettecment sveetches hepa feelters und hundle-a zeere-a ere-a a mure-a perts in zeere-a teke-a a luuk et zee phutus im luukeeng tu get 275 cesh fecoooom vurks perffect i joost dunt hefe-a uny begs fur it und dunt vunt tu booy uny thees fecoooom is used fur cummerceeel cleuneeng yuoo hefe-a prubley seee zeem used in hutels und oozeer theengs zeere-a evesume-a yuoo meeght theenk 275 is elut boot here-a is a leenk tu zee veendsur seete-a luuk et zee preece-a ooff 750 dullers noo reteeel preece-a geefe-a me-a a cell iff yuoor interested im oopee fur ooffffers xxx-xxx-xxxx here-a ere-a sume-a phutus injuy here-a is a leenk fur a noo oone-a! Bork Bork Bork!

        Adores: 11
        • 2011 July 12

          That was both incredibly funny and exceptionally painful to read. Good job!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12

          http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/jbc/home/chef.html

          You’re welcome.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          Lara permalink

          My life is forever changed by that, Taco. <3

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12

          Oooh, me likey!

          I pulled up Ulysses on Project Gutenburg and started plugging in random passages. It’s way more fun than it should be. I think I’ll go pull up the fanfic I’ve been riffing and run bits of it through.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          Ha! I just ran the Lord’s prayer thru the jive translator. Way too blasphemous to share but meta hilarious. Thanks Taco!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12

          In order to get our Blasphemy quota for the day, I took the Swahili version of the Lord’s prayer (Baba Yetu) and translated it to chef:

          Beba yetoo uleeye-a mbeengooni,
          Jeena leku leetookoozve-a,
          Uffelme-a veku uje-a,
          Mepenzee yeku yeteemizve-a,
          hepa dooneeuni kema hooku mbeengooni.
          Utoope-a leu reeziki yetoo.
          Utoosemehe-a mekusa yetoo,
          kema seesi nesee toovesemehefyu vedenee vetoo.
          Na useetootie-a mejereebooni,
          lekeeni utooukue-a na yoole-a mvufoo.
          Kva koova uffelme-a nee veku, na ngoofoo, na utookooffoo,
          heta meelele-a.
          Emeena.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Now that’s just silly….

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12

          If we become too silly, John Cleese will be forced to interrupt.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          And since we’re turning classic examples of written word into Swedish Chef: Lorem ipsum.

          Lurem ipsoom dulur seet emet, cunsectetoor edeepiscing ileet. In nec megna in lurem fermentoom sulleecitoodin feetee-a in ineem. Iteeem ec neqooe-a deeem. Integer neesl noonc, tempoos purtteetur coorsoos et, fooceeboos it lurem. Foosce-a cundeementoom ercoo cungooe-a irus sudeles id blundeet deeem festeebooloom. Eeneun feetee-a ercoo ineem. Festeebooloom qooees neqooe-a deectoom dooee ultreeces cunseqooet. Meecenes fereeoos, reesoos in ultreeces ilementoom, sepeeee joostu fulootpet ineem, nec mulesteee-a pooroos irus feetee-a noolla. Bork Bork Bork!

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 12
          Lara permalink

          Graham Chapman was the one who interrupted when things got too silly.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12

          Lara beat me to a Monty Python correction.

          *Sniff*

          I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          Derp.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          Lola permalink

          Swedish Chef + Lorem Ipsum = SisterLyle is my crush du jour. Childhood memories + adult nerdery FTW.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          C "All Your Sunshine Are Belong To Us" J permalink

          Emeena.

          You know things are really bad when your prayer includes a request for an enema.

          Adores: 5
  3. 2011 July 12

    She can’t afford bags or punctuation.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 July 12

      When the economy hits a low point you have to start cutting back on a few of the luxury items, such as cleaning, punctuation, and bathing.

      One of the things I had to give up was proofreading. I find I don’t miss it mulch.

      Adores: 8
  4. 2011 July 12

    Perfect for vacuuming my walls!

    Adores: 12
    • 2011 July 12

      Also, I actually have vacuumed my walls before… with a much lighter vacuum. Begone, cobwebs!

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 12
        Lara permalink

        I could really use a gravity defying vacuum. Actually…what if it floated out the door. People on a 757 would be flying along and suddenly see a vacuum cleaner vacuuming the wing. Oh and a gremlin too.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          You could ride it like a witch! Brooms are so last century!

          Adores: 11
        • 2011 July 12

          Most do have a built-in headlight, so you wouldn’t have any problems with night flying. You’ll probably need to get blinkers installed though.

          Adores: 10
        • 2011 July 12
          Lara permalink

          Excellent plan! That is so much quicker than those sneakers with road flare rocket shoes I bought.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12
          Lara permalink

          Is there vacuum cleaner insurance? I don’t want to suck anybody’s toupee’s off as I fly over and then be unable to replace it. Plus those head on vacuum cleaner collisions can be really bad. The vacuum cleaners just suck on each other.

          I’ll be in the corner.

          Adores: 9
        • 2011 July 12

          The vacuum cleaners just suck on each other.

          ARRRGGGHHHH MY BRAIN!

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          Heh heh. Vacuum 69.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12

          and now I’m recalling the site “furniture porn”, hot chair on chair action

          http://furnitureporn.com/warning.html

          (it really is just chairs, no people, so it should be safe for work unless your boss has no sense of humour)

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12
          Lara permalink

          I think that site is a hoot. There is also a tree porn site but that one is more just suggestive looking trees.

          Adores: 1
  5. 2011 July 12
    Lola permalink

    If Sparky really is that lazy, how are they not dead from not wanting to make the effort to eat?

    Hope their father sees this ad, takes back his vacuum, and can get some of his money back.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 July 12
      Lara permalink

      If Sparky really is that lazy, how are they not dead from not wanting to make the effort to eat?

      Sparky is spoon fed by his father who may let him starve after this.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 July 12
        Lola permalink

        One can hope.

        *can’t believe I let myself write that*

        Adores: 1
    • 2011 July 12

      I.V. feed and a colostomy bag.
      If Sparky is super-lazy, he can just connect one to the other. There’s no way that could go wrong, right?

      Adores: 8
      • 2011 July 12
        Lola permalink

        Not as far as everyone else is concerned.

        Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 12
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Finding replacement colostomy bags is so much of a bother…

        Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Why do you think Sparky’s out of vacuum bags?

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Ewwww….

          I think a Wet/Dry Shop Vac might have worked better.

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 July 12

      They eat… but they never wash the dishes and try to sell off the dirty ones, and now just eat cereal directly out of the box.

      Which, sadly, describes a guy I knew in college (minus the selling part). Just let all the dishes pile up everywhere and got takeout and cereal then after. Not sure if he knew what a kitchen sink was for.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 July 12

        He may have thought the kitchen sink was for those times when he didn’t want to go all the way to the bathroom.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 12

          Woah, woah, WOAH!

          You mean that’s NOT what the second basin in the kitchen sink is for?

          Adores: 5
  6. 2011 July 12

    Dear Sparky’s father:

    I am available for adoption. I promise that if you give me a $758.88 commercial-grade vacuum cleaner, I will buy bags for it and not sell it at a huge loss when the last one fills up.

    P.S. Back when more people smoked, the joke was “I have to trade in my car; the ashtray is full.”

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 12
      funky monkey permalink

      A boyfriend I had years ago once had to throw away all his dirty dishes. He had gone literally months without washing them and there was no way to save them. I periodically cleaned his bathroom cause I really didn’t want to, um, sit down in there. He didn’t last long. His housekeeping was a sign of bigger issues.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 12

        Oops, didn’t see this comment. Perhaps you dated my friend from college!

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          When Febreeze was invented it was like the greatest day of his life. He said what I predicted he’d say: “I’ll never have to do laundry again!!!” He was a good guy, just kinda lazy. He joined the service later and I assume they straightened him out, seeing as how they didn’t kick him out.

          Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 12
      Lola permalink

      Dave, would you like a sister? I am an only child … currently.
      Would happily share custody/use of vacuum and purchase bags in turn.

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 12
      Windrose permalink

      Oh worshipful Llama-nun, MBBUY, I think if you take the car back to the dealership, they can fill the tank again for you. It’s one of those technical things they do.

      Adores: 4
  7. 2011 July 12
    Lara permalink

    Commas, you’re doing it wrong.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2011 July 12
    Lara permalink

    I sense that Sparky has been watching reruns of The Simple Life.

    Adores: 1
  9. 2011 July 12
    C "All Your Sunshine Are Belong To Us" J permalink

    ‘Scuse me, but I must go buy a new car. The ashtray is full in this one.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 July 12
      LimeLolly permalink

      I had to go buy a new bar of soap. This one is used.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 12
      Windrose permalink

      This refrigerator isn’t self-cleaning. I’m just going to put it out at the curb, and buy a new one.

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 July 12
        Lola permalink

        Don’t you have teenagers at your house? They magically empty fridges, don’t they?

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 12
          Windrose permalink

          That’s the problem, we’ve been empty nesters (so to speak) since last August. I could invite them over.

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 12
      Lara permalink

      I need to go get a new apartment, this one is dirty.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 12

        I need a new body, this one has definitely been used.

        Adores: 8
      • 2011 July 12

        Dang it! I dropped my pecil, time to get out another one.

        I’ll be in the corner.

        Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 12

        Brain now full, please send spare.

        Adores: 8
    • 2011 July 12

      SOME IDIOT TOOK A BITE OUT OF MY BAGEL.

      I must procure a new one.

      Adores: 7
  10. 2011 July 12

    When I married TacoMa’am one of the things she brought to the relationship was a vacuum cleaner of that very same model!

    We didn’t like the vacuum very much though, as it wasn’t very powerful. Compared to the vacuum we replaced it with, the Winsor really sucked.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 12
      C "All Your Sunshine Are Belong To Us" J permalink

      Must.resist.urge.to.make.logical.observation.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 July 12

        It was indeed intended CJ, observe away.

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 July 12
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Observational Logic is the name of my Talking Heads cover band.

        Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 12

        It’s important that when bringing a vacuum into the bedroom that you make sure it’s a wet/dry vac.

        Hey! Somebody drizzled caramel on the coffee slices today!

        *Munch Munch*

        Adores: 4
  11. 2011 July 12
    Lara permalink

    winsor commercial grade versamatic vaccuum

    Are we talking the House of Windsor? If so, Prince Harry is not as educated as we thought he was. Or perhaps he needs to replace the servant who wrote this.

    this vacuum is used for commercial cleaning you have probley seen them used in hotels and other things

    You mean like castles right? Your secret identity is out, Harry. It’s not nice to refer to the family’s extra castle as a “hotel or other thing.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 July 12

      Jeez, Lara! Why do you gotta be getting all anti-versamatic like that?

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 12
        C "All Your Sunshine Are Belong To Us" J permalink

        *staples lips shut*

        “sooooooyrrrrrsynnnnnthuuumrrrddmsma’amfurrrrhuuuurrrrrssckitchbilluhteeesss?”

        *fails to censor self anyway*

        Dammit…this way supposed to be up there ^^^^ under Taco’s permission to make observation comment.

        *grumble, grumble…dagnabbit…*

        Adores: 3
      • 2011 July 12
        funky monkey permalink

        I got a cousin named Versamatic.

        Adores: 1
  12. 2011 July 12
    Grampdaddy permalink

    House of Windsor – huh, who’d a thunk it. Willie Shakespeare really covered it up well when he wrote that one play. He even changed the name of the vacuum in the soliloquy, “Alas, poor Oreck – it sucked like hell…”

    I can still picture him standing there with his ball stuck to his vacuum.

    Adores: 17
    • 2011 July 12
      Windrose permalink

      Corner!

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 12
        Grampdaddy permalink

        But! But! I can see the commercial – Dave Oreck standing there with his light weight vacuum that is so powerful it can pick up a bowling ball. The really tough part is getting the ball back from the pinsetter – cord gets all tangled up in the ball return. You DO NOT want to get your ball stuck in the pinsetter – ever. That would lead to a whole different discussion….

        Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah – to the corner. Would someone bring me a banana chocolate-chip muffin to go with my coffee slice?

        Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 12
      Lara permalink

      Sinus enema

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 July 12
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Merry Vacuums of Windsor

      …a Dyson by another other name would suck as hard…

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 12
        Lola permalink

        “but soft, what Roomba through yonder window breaks”

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Breaks what? Wind?

          Weren’t there some larks and nightingales in there as well?

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 12
        LimeLolly permalink

        I’ve always liked Cleaning Paradise – The Seven Settings of Dirt Devil

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 12
          Grampdaddy permalink

          My favorite was Dante – Purgatorio – Who Keeps Tracking Dirt Through Here So I Gotta Keep Cleaning?

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Milton was a Swiffer user.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          Lola permalink

          Christopher Marlowe was totally a rebel and refused to sweep at all.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12
          CapnMac permalink

          And René Descarte was a drunken fart who was very rarely a micro-pore cleaning attachment tool

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          I clean; therefore, I am.

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 July 12

      To Sweep, or not to sweep? That is the question.
      Wheter ’tis nobler to utilize suction,
      to claim the dirt and debris of daily living.
      Or to wield broom against a multitude of dust bunnies,
      and by sweeping, collect them? To sweep, to mop,
      The floor; and by sweeping to say we clean,
      away the the dirt of a thousand shuffling feet,
      tracking filth upon the surfaces once pristine,
      Devoutly to be washed. To suck, to sweep,
      To sweep, perchance so clean. -ay, and the rug.
      For with that flurried sweeping what dust may fly,
      Once floated from the floors it rested, to hang aloft,
      May prevent such vigor of the broom,
      That vacuuming may instead give the better clean.

      Adores: 14
      • 2011 July 12
        mud "" slicker permalink

        That was TacoBrilliant.

        Adores: 0
  13. 2011 July 12
    ToBScholarly permalink

    I had no problem reading this ad as I am bilingual. I speak teenager.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 July 12
      mud "" slicker permalink

      You must love the smell of Axe and Clearasil then.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 12

        The smell of Axe makes me hot!*

        *In that my face usually warms up when I feel extremely nauseous.

        Adores: 5
      • 2011 July 12
        ToBScholarly permalink

        sometimes i do think tht axe has a gr8 smell but other times it is tooooooo much for me becuz who wuld want there armpits to be smelled from like a mile away you know wht i mean unless he iz tht jerk from math class cuz u wuld want 2 know when he is coming so u culd go hide cuz if u dont he will start talking to u about how awesome he thinks he iz when really he is a loser becuz rachel told me he still plays with transformers and omg can u believe he tried to cheat off me in biology wtf i am failing that anyway so y would he want my answers i mean reallllllllly my grades suck so bad they suck as much as that vacuum my dad got for me but i dont use cuz we ran out of bags sucking up blunts last week and now their is a weird smell coming from it so i am gonna sell it on craigslist so i can buy the answers to next weeks history test

        Adores: 11
        • 2011 July 12

          Wow. You should write fanfics.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12

          Good thing I didn’t need my soul anymore because I think you just killed it.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          ToBScholarly permalink

          Welcome to my life.

          And yours too in about 14 or so years. Tron may be all cute and gurgly now but once the eyerolling and the “whatever” comments commence, you will no longer wonder why so many mothers in the animal kingdom eat their young.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 12

          My nephew has entered the “all adults are idiots” phase as well. I told him if he kept rolling his eyes at me I’d take them out with an ice cream scoop.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          Mini Monkey will be 10 this summer. I’m dreading the next 8+ years. She’s a sweet hearted little kid, a really great one. But I know it’s there, lurking behind them purty hazel eyes. A…TEENAGED GIRL!!! I was one, many years ago, I know what monsters we can be. Thank God for Zoloft and vodka.

          Ghostie: Yes. Ice cream scoop, and tweezers. And a staple gun and duct tape. These will be my tools.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          Tron may be all cute and gurgly now…

          You misspelled “loud and needy” there TBS.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12
          Lola permalink

          TBS, here’s the flask. I believe you may need it both after writing that, and in general.

          And speaking of the “Whatever” phase, my father, who is 70 started that last year. I have no capacity for response – suddenly my dad is 15, and … and … and it’s funny later but when he does it, I’m always blinking in disbelief.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 12
          C "All Your Sunshine Are Belong To Us" J permalink

          ToB…I always told my kids that God made them adorable babies so I would remember that and not kill them when they got to be teenagers.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12

          We say something similar about Tron all the time:

          “You’re lucky that you can be adorable when you want to, otherwise nobody would be able to stand your presence.”

          He always replies with the same thing, though:

          “A-da! Glorlo deg deg deg deg deg.”

          Best we can tell it’s toddler for “Damn straight!”

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12

          I tell my cats something similar, usually after they’ve broken/torn/utterly destroyed something. I’ve yet to get a response, which I assume is a good thing.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12
          Ziaheart permalink

          “And speaking of the “Whatever” phase, my father, who is 70 started that last year.”

          And suddenly, my mother’s euphemism for menopause makes sense: “when a fully grown adult returns to his or her teenage years”.

          And yes; Korean people do say that men have menopause as well. Just psychologically and mentally, though, and it has a different name to reflect the fact that both genders get it.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 July 12

        I don’t think anyone loves the smell of Axe.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          LimeLolly permalink

          I do… from 5 miles away.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          …except in the morning; when it smells like….VICTORY!!!!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12
          CapnMac permalink

          Axe is not so bad, no worse, really, than Mace, or military CS . . .
          Other than the side effects take longer to wear off.

          Mind you, in those rare times I am olfactorily afflicted by tweens and teeners, i am sore tempted to sneak into the stores and relabel pepper spray–I’d not suffer any less, but I would know the correct counter measures . . .

          [being a grumpy ursine today]

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          What? Grumpy urine?

          Was that the 8th dwarf?

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 July 12

          Axe, for when the smell of formaldehyde would be too subtle a scent.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          No no no. The 8th Dwarf was Hateful. Urine was a Smurf. A SMURF.

          PS: And before you ask, the 9th Dwarf was Snotty.
          PPS: Applying Rule 34, #8 was Cocky Dwarf and #9 was Throbbing.
          PPPS: If Rule 34 is when everything is porn/dirty, what rule # is it when everything relates back to the Simpsons?
          PMS: Yes, cause it’s been that kinda day.
          PPPPS: Before you ask: Her name was Juicy.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          So what is Smegma? A Troll? An Elf? Faerie?

          I get my Wee Folk all mixed up sometimes.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          Smegma would be a Nose Goblin.

          Adores: 6
        • 2011 July 12
          mud "" slicker permalink

          You are my wiki of the wiccan world fm. My go-t0 guide from now on.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12
          funky monkey permalink

          :blush:

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 July 12

          That was brilliant, FM.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 July 12

          If you’re getting smegma on your nose goblin, you just might be getting a little too friendly with the source.

          *Grabs his shovel and starts working on another sub-basement for the corner*

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 July 12
          Ziaheart permalink

          I think my brother does. Otherwise, why would he clean himself with axe shower gel and drown himself in axe body-spray each morning? Or maybe he realizes that it doesn’t smell nice and is just putting it on just out of spite. He’s currently in that age group, too, after all.

          Adores: 0
  14. 2011 July 12

    I told you they were our new overlords. You should have listened and welcomed them as well, but no, all you did was put me in the box the next day.

    They said I was crazy, but we know better, don’t we, Astro…

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 July 12

      You are wise beyond your years, Jailbait.

      Adores: 4
  15. 2011 July 12
    CoffDrop permalink

    Our vacuum cleaner has
    Sucked up the cat
    The morning paper
    The kitchen mat
    Two dozen spiders
    A pair of shoes
    A vest and panties
    (I’m not sure whose)
    Some CDs and
    Cassettes galore
    A nest of tables
    The bathroom door

    The electric cooker
    The TV set
    An ancient picture
    Of my first pet
    Our neighbor’s dog
    The mailman, too
    Our dining chairs
    My father’s shoe
    Some plastic bricks—
    And what a drag!
    I think I need to
    Change the bag.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 July 12
      Windrose permalink

      Coffy, that’s cute! Original?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 July 12
        CoffDrop permalink

        Original? Yes, but not by me: by Trevor Harvey.

        Kind’a Shel Silverstein isn’t it? …..

        Adores: 3
  16. 2011 July 12
    Windrose permalink

    Somewhat OT. Saturday as I do now and then, I accompanied my beloved to a meeting of pen collectors. Fountain pens mainly, but all writing instruments are of interest. The theme for the meeting was to bring your largest and smallest pen. There I am, the only person of the female persuasion in the room, listening to a gaggle of grown men and one teenager compare whose is bigger. After a while, the teenager, a really cool kid, quipped, “When we write up that my pen is bigger, it’s going to be very important to put that space in there.” 8)

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 July 13

      obligatory “pecil” comment

      Adores: 0
  17. 2011 July 12
    Ziaheart permalink

    I wonder if they have some spare punctuations lying around in their box full of spare parts but no extra bags.

    Adores: 0
  18. 2011 July 13
    Windrose permalink

    Lara Llamadurp, did anyone mention that you have been in the box all day? Well, here’s your Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Englewood!

    Adores: 0

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