YSaC, Vol. 1060: I hate people when they’re not polite.

2011 August 19

FREE MALE HUSKY


MUST GO CHICKIN KILLER CANT KEEP SECOND TIME OTHER THAN KILLING MY CHICKINS HE IS A GREAT DOG GOOD W KIDS AND OTHER DOGS AND CATS BUT HE MUST GO ASAP OR WE WILL HALF TO PUT HIM DOWN HES PURE BREAD ALASKIN HUSKY 16 MONTHS NOT FIXED CALL xxx xxxx CAN TEXT PICS SERIOUS INQUIORIES ONLY!!!!!

I can’t seem to spell have vs. half,
I write all caps — an online gaffe,
I’ve got this dog, and he’s a husky,
Don’t text unless it’s a serious inquiry!

Chicken killer,
C’est poulet
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bark, better
run run run run, run run, he’s not spayed!
Chicken killer,
C’est poulet.

Thanks for the submission, Wendy! (She sent this in in 2009 … see? You never know when something is going to show up.)

56 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 August 19

    I think the dog takes after its owner.

    If the dog could type, I’m sure it would say ROWF!!!!11!!!!! ROWF ROWF!!!!! CHIKKIN!!!!

    Seriously, don’t have pets and don’t procreate if you type that way.

    Adores: 9
  2. 2011 August 19
    Lola permalink

    Chicken killer,
    C’est poulet
    Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bark, better
    run run run run, run run, he’s not spayed!
    Chicken killer,
    C’est poulet.

    *Yerba mate tea meets screen at high volume*

    Please, don’t ever change, drmk!

    *earworm commences*

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 August 19
      Dan permalink

      That’s why I married her, folks – right there.

      Adores: 12
      • 2012 February 11

        That’s why we all married her!

        BBUH.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 11

          Isaac! 8)

          Adores: 0
  3. 2011 August 19

    Not cool making fun of that guy’s weight problem. Sure, he’s a little husky from eating all those chickens, but he has feelings too.

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 August 19

      If he lives on a steady diet of chickens and pure bread, what does he expect?

      Adores: 12
  4. 2011 August 19

    Hell, if all this pup needs is a putting down…….

    “YOUR A TERRIBLE BURDEN ON YOU’RE MOTHER AND YOU STANK…BAD!!”

    Problem.Solved.

    Adores: 24
    • 2011 August 19

      “YOUR A TERRIBLE BURDEN ON YOU’RE MOTHER AND YOU STANK…BAD!!

      There I fixed it, Sparky was only looking for half a putdown…

      Adores: 12
  5. 2011 August 19
    Karmyn permalink

    Just a bit of advice, but calling someone a chicken killer is probably not a good way to get them to take your dog. Even if it is only made of bread.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 19
      Windrose permalink

      I thought Sparks was inviting us along, and got the spelling wrong. Must Go Chicken Killing! Great fun for the whole family!

      Adores: 4
  6. 2011 August 19

    PURE BREAD

    Is anybody else getting HALF-BREAD flashbacks, or is it just me?

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 August 19
      Lola permalink

      When he’s walking, does a half-bread dog leave half-bread prints?

      I’ll get me coat.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 August 19

        Half-bread prints are a Severus serious condition.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 19
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          If you put a dog half down, do you end up with a dog zomb

          Adores: 4
  7. 2011 August 19

    And, just because I’m bored, I put this lovely add through an ebonics translator.

    Yo mus’ GO CHICKIN KILLER CANT KEEP SECOND tyme OTHER THAN KILLING muh motha fuckin CHICKINS HE be uh GREAT DOG pimp-tight W KIDS an’ OTHER DOGS an’ CATS BUT HE mus’ GO ASAP OR we’s WILL HALF ta PUT HIM DOWN HES PURE BREAD ALASKIN HUSKY 16 MONTHS NOT FIXED page xxx xxxx CAN werds n shit PICS SERIOUS INQUIORIES ONLY!!!!! Ya’ dig?

    *snerk*

    Adores: 11
    • 2011 August 19
      Windrose permalink

      Sis, I love “werds n shit” for text! LOL

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 19

      Sparky should have posted this version instead. Everyone wants a pimp-tight dog!

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      Yeah, that sure fixed it alright. Thank the gods in heaven for giving us mortals that elucidating ebonics.

      Adores: 1
  8. 2011 August 19
    Windrose permalink

    The International Order for Brotherhood, Justice, and Equality for Chickens Too (IOBJECT) finds this ad in poor taste and demands an apology. BuckAWK!

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 August 19

      Yo On behalf o’ all chickn n` corn bread killing huskies, ah sincerely apologize fo’ any fowl dis here post has made at yo’ expense and git Sheniquah’s ass back ova’ heeah.

      (I think all my posts today will be in ebonics… bcuz I’m a bear.)

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 19
        mudslicker permalink

        :: ring ring ::

        Al Sharpton on line #1 for Miss Sista’ Lyle

        Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      poor taste

      Not if they’re fried with some tater salad and baked beans on the side.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 August 19
        Lola permalink

        And pie after. Mmmmhmmm.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 19
          camille permalink

          I like pie.

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 August 19

          I like chicken pot pie.

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 19

        I like dustbunnies

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 19

          hassenchoopfeffer

          Adores: 1
  9. 2011 August 19
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Ce chien est bon
    Avec des enfants
    Si tu n’appelles pas
    il sera mort… OK!
    He must go, ASAP
    This post made Lola spit her tea

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      Everything sounds better in French armoire.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 19
      drmk permalink

      Well, I *was* proud of my post until IF came along and topped it.

      Adores: 5
  10. 2011 August 19
    ToBScholarly permalink

    Which comes first, the chicken or the husky?

    Now we know the answer.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      Depends on how much foreplay each on gets.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 19

        Mudsy… corner!

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 19
          mudslicker permalink

          ;)

          Adores: 2
  11. 2011 August 19
    MandaB permalink

    Aside from killing chickens, it can’t keep second time. Obviously Not.A.Watch.Dog.

    Adores: 13
  12. 2011 August 19

    I hear Talking Heads “Psycho Killer” in my head now. And it’s kind of echoey.

    Adores: 2
  13. 2011 August 19

    There once was a husky to be freed.
    A chicken killer, not a rare breed.
    Loves dogs and cats.
    And sometimes expats.
    But the chickens cost too much for feed.

    Adores: 8
  14. 2011 August 19
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    It’s been a while. Which way is the box again?

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 19

      I think you need to take a left at Albuquerque.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 19
      Windrose permalink

      Then go down the road until you see the place where Old McPhebe’s cow died. You can cut across the field, if you keep an eye out for the bull, he’s mighty lonely these days. On the other side is the fork in the road, you want to go straight. ‘Nother mile or so, stop at the Blue Pig Gas Station And Good Eats for a rest and to tank up. You’re almost there.

      Adores: 2
  15. 2011 August 19
    Is.A.Manx permalink

    [dog and chicken corey]
    Dogs will sometimes “imprint” on yards birds as prey.

    Raising yard fowl not in factory-method means any lapse in dog control results in bird loss. The dog in question will also tend (only tend) to kill for killing’s sake, and not stop just at sated hunger. (That, and uncooked chicken bones are under-optimal for canine digestive systems.)

    And, despite the wisdom of the old adage to the contrary, you must “count your chickens before they are hatched” to make the “business model” work.

    {Pub Corey: The Dog & Chicken is a good name on a country pub, the place where a pint of bitter will be an outrageous £2 4s, but well worth it. Conversely, The Dawg-n-Chikin is probably a place only frequented after Last Orders, and to the detriment of gutters later.}
    [/corey]

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 19
      mudslicker permalink

      The Dawg-n-Chikin is probably a place only frequented after Last Orders

      …and often tends (only tends) to be frequented by those Chick-fil-A cows.

      Adores: 2
  16. 2011 August 19
    StarGeezer permalink

    I wonder if the person who adopted the other dog would also like this one. They could be a matching set!

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2334

    Let’s hope that whoever adopts them didn’t also respond to this post:

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=6811

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 August 19
    PhantomBanker permalink

    Um, I hate to be the one to point this out, but there’s a slight typo in drmk’s little ditty: Sparky here only wants a text of a serious inquiory, not inquiry.

    Geez, if your gonna poke fun at peeple for there spellinz, u shud spel it rite you’reself!

    (Wow, it actually hurt trying to type like that.)

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 19

      I can’t bring myself to make most of the typos that the folks in the ads do. Also, I’m hoping that by spelling words correctly I’m contributing to the education of the internet.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 20

        Blessed Llamanun, I admire your persistence in this endeavor amidst seemingly overwhelming odds. You have your work cut out for you.

        Adores: 0
  18. 2011 August 19
    CoffDrop permalink

    I wonder if he’s one of those singing French Canadian Huskies:

    Pluck that chicken!

    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai
    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai
    Je te plumerai la tete (the head)
    Je te plumerai la tete
    Et la tte, et la tete
    Petit poulet ah, Petit poulet ah
    O-o-o-o-oh
    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai

    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai
    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai
    Je te plumerai le nez (the nose)
    Je te plumerai le nez
    Et le nez, et le nez
    Petit poulet ah, Petit poulet ah
    O-o-o-o-oh
    Petit poulet ah, gentille Petit poulet ah
    Petit poulet ah je te plumerai

    Continued on for:

    Les yeux (the eyes)
    Le cou (the neck)
    Les ailes (the wings)
    Le dos (the back)
    Les pattes (the legs)
    Le queue (the tail)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 19
      LimeLolly permalink

      Actually… the dog is ‘Alaskin’. Whatever that means.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 19
        CoffDrop permalink

        Thanks LL – I thought he just has a lot of questions.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 19
          LimeLolly permalink

          Agghh… what happened to my edit???

          Sorry, Coffy… I meant to add (well, I did add and something ate it?):

          Unless the dog is posing as an undercover agent searching for rebel chickens. That would be it’s theme song. — or something like that…

          ….stupid husky ajax.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 19
        MandaB permalink

        That means Sarah Palin can see him from her back yard. No, wait…those are Russian Huskies.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 20

        Alaskin.

        It’s like a la mode, but with skin.

        Adores: 1
  19. 2011 August 20
    Windrose permalink

    http://forlackofabettercomic.com/?id=35

    8) new comic to me, great world view.

    Adores: 1
  20. 2011 August 20
    Windrose permalink

    Bianchi, Punchity Punch Punch! You really rang my bell. Ahem.

    G’Night, Nanook!

    Adores: 0

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