YSaC, Vol. 1061: That’s one hot ligament of Treitz.

2011 August 22

Continuing with the “Why Google AdWords Thought This Website Was Porn” theme that I inadvertently started over the weekend, Dennis sent in this ad:

dell laptop – $60


I have a dell laptop for sale 60.00 firm only thing wrong with it is the key board needs a new one other then that everything works good give me a call if interested Scottie xxxxxxxxxx thank you

 

You know how you can tell the computer still works? Because, as Scottie so thoughtfully shows us, it is still able to be used to surf for porn! (Although, that does raise disturbing questions about why the keyboard no longer works.)

Is it just me, or does the picture look like Natalie Portman with her intestines showing? I mean, I guess that could still be considered porn for medical students — “Wow, get a load of her transverse colon!” “I’d totally hit that duodenojejunal flexure!”

Thanks, Dennis!

74 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 August 22

    CTRL+ALT+DEL! AHHH my eyes, please CTRL+ALT+DEL!

    Adores: 6
  2. 2011 August 22
    funky monkey permalink

    To me it looks like Keira Knightley with a lapful of uncooked liver, for those with raw food fetishes.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 August 22

      I can see that.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 22
        Is.A.Manx permalink

        I can’t unsee that.

        Adores: 19
        • 2011 August 22
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          I’m framing it as a teaser image for the film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Because otherwise, I’m terrified.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 22
          funky monkey permalink

          I bought that book and couldn’t make myself finish it. It was just nothing but the original Jane Austen book with blood and zombie killings. I was bored to death. Is it worth digging out and finishing?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 22
          funky monkey permalink

          Ah, Manx! Love the avatar! It’s Spaceman Spiff!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 22
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          My understanding was that was the idea – disturb the original text as little as possible, but add a robust zombie-related plot. I haven’t actually sat down and read it because… you know, ninjas.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 22
          Jen permalink

          Funky – I enjoyed it, but then I enjoy both Austen and terrible zombie flicks… FWIW apparently there are two versions (?) and the one I had was by the better author – some of his insertions were quite seamless.*

          * :snerk:

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 23
          Lara permalink

          I liked that book too. I know the original really well (4 or 5 readings?) and all I can say is that zombies were an improvement. Darn classes making me read it. I really wanted a few of the scenes in the book to have new gory endings so I was pretty happy.

          Adores: 3
    • 2011 August 22

      Cleveland steamer?…No don’t google it.

      Oh, hi corner…

      Adores: 9
      • 2011 August 22
        Bombdude permalink

        How appropriate… I tried to give a door, and got an “internal error”…

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 22

          I suppose that’s better than an external success…

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 August 22
      Lola permalink

      I thought it was Winona Ryder, with brownies. (At least they aren’t corn nuts. *looks at prior sentence* *goes to ask boss for rest of day off to go home and watch “Heathers” again*)

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 22

        Mrs. White, in the lounge, with the biscuits.

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 August 22
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Maybe she finally did get *redacted* gently with a chainsaw.

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 22
          Lola permalink

          I’m totally stealing “redacted gently with a chainsaw” as an epithet now. Best part will be saying it aloud to those who neither know what “redacted” means or get the original reference.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 22
          funky monkey permalink

          Best line ever: “I love my dead gay son!!!!!”

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 22

        Lola, I am definitely seeing a plate of brownies and there is also a brownie in her hand. I don’t see Winona though.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 22

          It’s totally Kiera – but there is no way that stick figure eats brownies. Certainly not by the plateful.
          And is it wrong that I’m totally turned on by the brownies?? Brownies…yum…

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 22

          Unless she’s one of those disgusting ectomorphs who can eat anything they want and stay 90 pounds.

          I’ve got a friend like that. He can eat greasy burgers for every meal with 2 pounds of french fries and he’d stay a boney 110 pounds. Skinny jerk.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 22
          mudslicker permalink

          It’s Keira Knightely and she’s sitting next to a plate of Duracell batteries. I think she’s selling C-cells by the sea shore.

          Adores: 10
      • 2011 August 22

        Maybe it’s just me, but I keep seeing Kiera/Winona/Emma’s left arm as being attached to the couch, rather than her shoulder.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 22
          Lola permalink

          Now that you point it out, that’s the creepiest part of the picture to me.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 22
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          disembodied arm is what is “creepiest” . . . ?

          I’m going to go cuddle with my stuffed not-a-lion before zapping some aliens.

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 22
      nonsensicalcat permalink

      My mind’s version, Keira Knightley with Strawberries, was less gross.

      And also correct, according to Google images.

      Why did I just search that?

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 22
        Windrose permalink

        That was going to be my second guess! Good job, Noni!

        Adores: 0
      • 2011 August 22

        either she is very tiny or those strawberries are huge

        Adores: 0
  3. 2011 August 22

    I’m surprised Sparky didn’t just have the keyboard replaced with one configured for one-hand typing.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 22
      LimeLolly permalink

      The corner calls:

      ♫♪ Oooh Dave…♪♫

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 August 22
        Windrose permalink

        I’m sorry, Dave’s not in right now. He might be in the box.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 August 22

          Dave’s not here, man.

          Adores: 4
  4. 2011 August 22

    This is an Inspiron?

    So, the objective is to inspire nausea? Projectile vomiting?

    If so, I’m there.

    Adores: 10
  5. 2011 August 22

    *tilts head to one side* Kinda looks like an effeminate man with a plate of burnt croissants on his belly. Which means I’m either desensitized to porn or to intestines.

    Adores: 9
  6. 2011 August 22

    Kind of looks like ….. I should have stayed in bed.

    Adores: 12
  7. 2011 August 22

    I’m jealous, my Dell didn’t come with wallpaper of a glowing hermaphroditic person balancing a plate of brownies on its tummy.

    That’s what I get for not springing for the Deluxe HermaphoGlow package.

    Adores: 5
  8. 2011 August 22
    Is.A.Manx permalink

    [laptop corey]
    The normal cost-effective way you replace a laptop keyboard is to buy a new laptop. Ditto for screen problems.

    In days of old, say, three years ago, you’d buy a second l/t of the same model, and replace the non-working “half.”

    What most discovered was that it was easier to just get the information off the broken unit’s HDD and transfer it. The transfer taking far less time than disassembling the hinges on two laptops. And, that’s not terribly difficult anymore for many home users, as they will have spare external parts like keyboards and/or monitors to connect to the broken l/t’s backplane.

    Not that a person couldn’t replace the keyboard on a l/t, just need a “donor” one and an hour or two retrieving the donor, and the same amount of time opening up the “patient” for the transplant.

    So, much faster to plug in peripherals, overall.

    Unless you are sparki.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 1
  9. 2011 August 22
    Windrose permalink

    I Spy with my little eye, Emma Watson with a pile of fruit on her parts, and holding a pear she is about to bite into.

    What really gets me excite it the $60 price tag! So easy to plug in a regular keyboard and there you are! Whew! I need to go lie down.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2011 August 22

    I have a dell laptop for sale 60.00 firm only thing wrong with it is the key Broad, needs a new one other then that everything works good give me a call if interested Scottie xxxxxxxxxx thank you

    There I fixed it…

    Adores: 8
  11. 2011 August 22

    firm only

    I’ll be in the corner.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 22

      I have to agree with ScotSpark, I prefer firm only. Mostly because I’m lazy.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 22

        Sounds like a new ad campaign…

        “Viagra, for when you are just too lazy to…”

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 August 22
          Lola permalink

          … finish?

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 22

          …Dutch?

          Adores: 2
  12. 2011 August 22
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Sorry, but if Scottie [sic]can’t fix the keyboard, it can’t be fixed.

    He canna change the laws of physics!

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 August 22
      Windrose permalink

      *Busy throwing doors at Bianchi*

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 22
      mudslicker permalink

      OOh….oooh…oooh….do another one Bianchi!!!

      *goddamn it Jim, I’m not a miracle worker….!*

      Adores: 2
  13. 2011 August 22
    Windrose permalink

    This just in, I have both tendonitis and arthritis in both thumbs. Soon i willbetypinglikesparkeywithnospacesorcapitalsatleastit’sspelledcorrectly.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 22
      Lola permalink

      Nooooo!!!! Oh, Windy. I’m sorry. Maybe you need speech-recognition software. 😀

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 22
      Bombdude permalink

      Don’t they call that “Nintendo thumb”? You should’a gotta Wii…

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 22
        Grampdaddy permalink

        I went Wii, and I still have sore thumbs. It must be thumbthing else.

        Adores: 6
    • 2011 August 22

      Ooooh…ouch…owie, ouchie, ouch…

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 August 22

        Uh, CJ. You just say that when you’re typing, you don’t type it.

        Unless you’re dictating.

        Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 22

      So sorry about that.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 August 22

      Bummer on the thumb problems =(.

      ToshowsupportI’llstopusingthespacebartoo!

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 August 22

      Here Windy, use these spaces.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      For sale, or free OBO’s

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 August 22
      Grampdaddy permalink

      So sorry, Windy. Must have been a bad weekend for thumbs. I think I either severely jammed my thumbs or broke both of the yesterday. They are swollen about twice their normal size, don’t bend, hurt like hecky, and are really blackish around the knuckles.

      I think I’ll just ignore them until they go away.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 August 22
        LimeLolly permalink

        If they go away, how will you hold your beer?

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 22
          Windrose permalink

          I’vegotahatyoucanusetoholdyourbeer. 8) Thankseveryoneforthesympathyandgoodwishes. (Switches to typing with brace on) Okay I was told totake glucosamine,do exercises and ice it, and wearlthsokunts U I mean splints to bed. Gah! Wish they could just rep;acethem.

          Grampdaddy, much sympathy to you as well. Without thumbs we are just tailess monkies. Do you think a medical professional should be consulted?

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 August 22

          You should take frozen fish oil capsules, too. My dad uses those for his knees (when he remembers) and he thinks they work pretty well. And if you freeze them first, you can cut down on “fish-burps” which I’ve heard are not good for being socially acceptable.

          My mom has to wear a special thumb-brace. She got some sort of… something wrong with it from doing too much cross-stitch.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 August 22
          Lola permalink

          I had similar issues with my thumb and index finger on my right hand, but got them early – the braces at night and whenever they weren’t in the way during the day – and those alone helped quite a lot. I also changed jobs and that helped but it’s an extreme measure and the benefit was unintended.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 August 22
          Windrose permalink

          Lola, while I like to think I would benefit muchly from changing jobs, or just retiring, I do as much if not more typing/mousing at home. And I don’t have a nintendo. Since my son moved out. Ahem. I want a Wii Fit so badly!

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 22
          Grampdaddy permalink

          If they go away, how will you hold your beer?

          Same way I always have – cross my legs and walk funny to the port-a-potty.

          re: medical professional – With all the fingers and toes I’ve broken over the years, I’ve never had a Doc do anything but tape and/or splint and tell me, “That’s gonna be tender for a while.”

          Does make it interesting trying to do intervention with students’ writing when one cannot hold a pencil (I said pencil!) correctly. We will not discuss holding a pecil correctly…

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 August 23
          LimeLolly permalink

          I take Vitamin C and it helps with arthritic swelling (I type a lot every day so this a good benefit). I’ve also read that cayenne pepper and apple cider vinegar is also good for arthritis. Both externally and internally.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 August 23
          Windrose permalink

          I take Vit. C, but hadn’t heard about cayenne. Apple cider vinegar we have in abundance, as we put it in the birds’ waterers, Keeps down the bacteria and adds nutrients they need. I shall look in to it. 8) Again, thanks, everyone, for the advice and concern. I love you all!

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 August 22

      Sorry about your thumbs. My aunt and mother have the same thing, and I can’t recommend anything more than what’s already been recommended

      Adores: 1
  14. 2011 August 23
    Windrose permalink

    DAFT, hopeyouenjoyedyourdayPUNCHITY PUNCHPUNCH!

    G’Night (usesone ofHamCansspaces) Teddington!

    Adores: 0

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