YSaC, Vol. 1095: Meme week, Day 5: Spambots!

2011 October 7
by drmk

$1200 / 3br – Premium pet friendly townhouse Absolutely beautiful!!


nut sugar to secondly it two last not in on Then place Cook instead the mince Take vegetables one cherry the the veal off on teaspoonful into well EGG milk; crust little milk CELERIS Mix of fat it may prunes on layer
and finely them the of
hiemc-uschm

Boy, I really hope I get this apartment. It comes with layered prunes! Most apartments, you have to layer your own prunes, and then when you move out your landlord charges you extra to have them removed.

qAhZ 25yg h9ka ujuYaIa – $870


1LHjng IjHpS vNdB6HmOdN Oaw4GJ3A ujuYaIadC9
hwmx00mbR fC41b2trWH cppf EoIAoT gAuo igTuPzf zVaT 0NRxi m9 QKd1fHwu nnRCoPlxbD CrcaeV4Sevp 5NPw 0G
NwDSkKr IxPg AhKrP3EZIevD
2zzMKffUjJN FS0nLSX ngHg1uDK42 GE aJFZs72rI uV 8xdv04Lp R5Lx zjiKCD8cteYS D4a AZ vN qNfCarN Oaw4GJ3A

 

I can’t wait to hear Monica or EclecticBlue sing/narrate this one. Especially the word 2zzMKffUjJn. I hear it as “twozzmikfujjn”, which I’m pretty sure is Norwegian for “I’m sorry, I just sat on your tarsier.”

Thanks, Katey and SisterLyle, or whatever she’s going by these days.

 

 

84 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 October 7
    Lola permalink

    hiemc-uschm

    That’s where the lacawates vultrus-suka is from! It’s hard to get a place there. I’ve got to have that apartment! (Prunes and all.)

    For the second one … I’m curious to know what search they think people are going to do to turn that up. Maybe: “I hear people who speak Gibberish have a lot of money. Let’s post the ad in that! We’ll make dozens of dollars.”

    Adores: 3
  2. 2011 October 7

    You can call me whatever you want, but some names will cost you more than others. *waggles owl-brows*

    Corner? Damn.

    Adores: 4
  3. 2011 October 7

    1. Mmmm …. cherry veal!

    2. Oh, yeah? Well, you can just 7beEHqX SEiF99G with an aepiSE09tesWO. So there.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 7

      but just one cherry and you have to teaspoon it into egg milk.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 7

        But first you have to milk the eggs – a good chef milks their own.

        Adores: 4
  4. 2011 October 7

    No thanks, Sparky McTuPzf zVaT.

    I hear you can score a brand-new QKd1fHwu nnRCoPlxbD for $500 at the tiny English village May-Prunes-On-Layer.

    It’s kinda hard to get to, but totally worth it.

    First, get on the Place-Cook-Instead Expressway and go south. Take the One-Cherry-The-The-Veal exit (not to be confused with the One-Cherry-The-Veal exit, totally different) and drive through the village of Mix-Of-Fat. Now, right outside the village start looking for Hiemc-Uschm Road. Turn left and that’ll take you right into the village. See Mr. MKffUjJN at the Crust Little Milk Pub.

    Oh, and while you are at the pub be sure to try their Oaw4GJ3A. I hear it’s delish!

    Adores: 9
  5. 2011 October 7

    1. Nut sugar in the opening line can only bode ill.

    2. Tarsier(s). The second “f” pluralizes.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 October 7
      MandaB permalink

      I’m pretty sure Nut Sugar is IF’s Squirrel Nut Zippers cover band.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 7
      TinyBallOfLight permalink

      I dunno, it kinda made me think of Nutella. Mmmm… =)

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 October 7

        Now I’m thinking of Nutella and cherries. Yum.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7
          TinyBallOfLight permalink

          Have you ever had a pb&n sandwich? It’s like a CANDY BAR in a SANDWICH! =P

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7
          Lola permalink

          Tiny, I’ve had that on Saturday morning toast … there’s a reason I need to lose more weight!

          Adores: 0
  6. 2011 October 7
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    *gets ingredients, follows recipe to the letter*

    Oh God!

    It brought Bin Laden back to life as a zomb-

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 7

      I substituted raspberries for the cherry and got Amy Winehouse.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 October 7

        I used malted milk balls, spinach toothpaste, and diced onions and it made a kitty!

        Adores: 5
        • 2011 October 7

          Our cat was made from Monster Energy Drink, ghosts, and a handful of gravel.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 October 7

          Sounds like one of mine, but I think some bits of glass got mixed in with the gravel. Firefly has lots of sharp pointy bits and isn’t shy about using them.

          Adores: 3
  7. 2011 October 7
    Gary permalink

    Serious question; what do those types of postings mean? What do they result from?

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 7

      [corey] People write programs designed to automatically post craigslist ads to try to lure people to use their services (often through duplicity, much like email spam). These ads are the result of these “bots” not working quite as desired.

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 7
        camille permalink

        If you forget to close your corey tag, does that mean you have to be serious for the rest of the day?

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 7

          As serious as one could be with jingly bits and a squirrel costume.

          Adores: 5
        • 2011 October 7
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Close the tag! Close it! For the love of Jebus! Think of the children!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 7

          *spinkles birdseed around the missing tag*

          Now, we wait and stew in our seriousness.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7

          If you’re gonna be spinkling in the Lounge, put a tarp down first.

          Adores: 5
      • 2011 October 7
        MandaB permalink

        Mmmmm…serious stew. Delicious!

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7
          LimeLolly permalink

          Serious stew flavored with just a hint of desperation and insouciance.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Taters with mine, please.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7
          SpaceBug permalink

          Serious stew, now with all-meat gerberts.

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 7
          Bombdude permalink

          Mmmmm…serious stew. Delicious!

          Now with jingly Taco bits…

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7

          It’s like a Happy Meal made of squirrel fur and nightmares.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 7
          CapnMac permalink

          Seriuos Stew
          Live 2 nite
          at 40WatT

          Stu & LaYerd Prunes
          to open

          Adores: 1
  8. 2011 October 7

    Lets just pump that first one through the bad translator here:

    Candy ready and gave the tent on the other side of the van Kamer. “Always wrote, breast milk, spoon Cherry ice cream.” The series, Aodchilog, (c) the members of the inspection (c), (D) é sactiv é Aufhimk or Tarrag, United States.

    It all makes perfect sense now.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 7

      That Candy sounds like a kinky gal.

      Hey, look I got here in the morning! And off to the corner I go… *sings* the best part of waking up is coffee slices on a plate

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 October 7

        Yay! Early morning Silva!

        The coffee slices are still warm and crunchy this time of the morning.

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7

          And crusty little milk celeris?

          Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 7
        Lola permalink

        Hi, Silva! Did you get up, or are you still up from before?

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7

          Still up from last night (not sure if an hour & a half nap inbetween really counts). I’m sure I’ll crash by the middle of the afternoon.

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 7
      Gary permalink

      So what does a successful spambot posting look like?

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 October 7
        camille permalink

        [corey] A successful spambot posting looks like an actual Craigslist posting offering something people might actually want, with words that make sense. For instance, the first one has a title that makes sense; if the text actually made sense too, people might email the poster to find out about the (non-existent) townhouse, and then the poster would have a collection of email addresses to spam. [/corey]

        Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 7
        CapnMac permalink

        A ‘successful’ spambot message will have a link embedded in it, the better to get people to link through.

        Sometimes, all that is wanted is the traffic count from the link-through.
        Other times, getting the target/mark to link to some site to then engage in malware or nefarious activity.

        [/corey]

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7
          camille permalink

          Oh, thank goodness, the Cap’n has closed Taco’s Corey tag. The universe is back in balance and Taco is silly again.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7

          *Pours jm into his pants*

          Hey, everyone! Let’s party!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 7

          jam*

          Why do they put the insert key so close to the delete key anyway? By all rights, if key placement were related to usefulness of the key, the insert key should be located on the back of the computer under a plastic cover with a combination lock on it.

          Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 7
      Lola permalink

      Bad Translator is IF’s Guided by Voices cover band.

      Adores: 0
  9. 2011 October 7

    My brain keeps trying to make the random letters in the second ad make sense and failing horribly.

    :sniff-sniff:

    Does anyone else smell smoke?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 7

      To me it sounds more like their cat rolled all over their keyboard

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 7
        Windrose permalink

        The cat rolled over the keyboard,
        The cat rolled over the key board,
        The cat rolled over the keeeey-BOARD!
        And posted it on Craigslist.

        Or should it be, And so say all of us?

        Adores: 11
        • 2011 October 7
          LurkRealClose permalink

          So Say We All!

          LRC

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 7

      Listen…do you smell something?

      Adores: 7
  10. 2011 October 7
    LimeLolly permalink

    I love this post and will be using it to learn more in my daily life. What web engin are you using? Would you please me know?*

    *is that going to get me smacked by the Llamanun?

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 7
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      People, people! We’re playing with fire here! Taco didn’t close his Corey tag, Limelolly is tempting the spambots! We’re going to open a hole in the internets!

      Ah! Pop-up ads are flying at my face!

      I’m getting emails from Rush Limbaugh!

      My screen is just one big ad for Groupon!

      WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 October 7
        LurkRealClose permalink

        There’s an a-hole in the internets! Oh, no, say it isn’t so!

        Adores: 2
  11. 2011 October 7
    MandaB permalink

    The second one is a code. Let’s dig out the decoder ring and see what we’ve got here.

    “Please help. Trying to cook up premium, pet-friendly apartment. Have veal. Please send egg milk.”

    Adores: 8
  12. 2011 October 7
    Angel permalink

    I think the computers are communicating via Craigslist using secret code to discuss their plans for taking over the world.

    Edit: Jinx, MandaB! Great minds think (in code!) alike.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 7
      MandaB permalink

      Makes sense to me!

      *readjusts tinfoil beanie*

      Adores: 5
  13. 2011 October 7
    CoffDrop permalink

    Yes, yes, this is certainly something that brings to the surface my longings. In American it is not considered to be mentally ill when a woman advances on her prey in a discotheque setting with hardy cocktails present. And there is a more normal attitude toward leather play-toys that also makes my day.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 7
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      Um, that sounds like a veiled put down. 🙂

      *hides sexy monkey panties and banana toys*

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 7
        CoffDrop permalink

        Banana Daiquiris in the lounge – I’m buying……….

        Adores: 2
  14. 2011 October 7
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    haoisHiaiejOq83as8 aksiou)i2k3 ljdsowk3099 alskdjfla 92ilOINJSD9 9sjdiq[al!

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 7
      MandaB permalink

      Sorry, Bianchi, but your post is a hard on to understand.

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 October 7

      Try using smaller mugs to type with.

      Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 7
      kelli permalink

      jijpajis-n ias idsnfuaj[fo eijdijauihf9dafn idhfioajnuahfp0ann knunfoianilnsos.

      Adores: 1
  15. 2011 October 7
    Lola permalink

    Theory: Bot #2 is attempting to mimic lolcat-speak.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2011 October 7
    LimeLolly permalink

    OT:

    This is just a friendly PSA reminder. We do not need to repeatedly post or argue our point of view on PAN or other blog sites. If you can contribute to the comments as per their culture, feel free to do so.

    We don’t like it when others come to our boards and try to argue with us, so please, let us extend the same courtesy to other boards.

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 7

      It wasn’t me! It was the one-armed man!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 7

        I was dead at the time! I was on the moon. With Steve.

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 7
        LimeLolly permalink

        I confess… it was me.

        I had to slap myself around a few times and threaten to break my fingers. (which in retrospect, probably would help me type better)

        Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 7
      TinyBallOfLight permalink

      Ah, I’m sorry for starting it. I take full responsibility. I went over and apologized for how out of hand it got.

      But, it doesn’t change my opinion that they used to have really well-timed comedy and snark in their comments, and now they are mostly whiny, too literal and boring.

      Oh well, I guess I don’t have to read their comments any more. Such a shame though, and a waste of potential greatness.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 7
        drmk permalink

        How out of hand did it get? Do I need to apologize to Kerry? Do I have to get someone to watch you guys?

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7
          LimeLolly permalink

          In my opinion, was not out of hand. Nothing ugly was said, but the potential for harshness was there.

          Sorry, I seem to have stepped on your authority, drmk. I can stitch-witch that stuff back in…

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7

          What’s PAN? I actually have no idea what we’re talking about. I just wanted to throw in an Eddie Izzard reference.

          Edit: Ooooh Passive Aggressive Notes? I never read the comment section anywhere but here at YSaC.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 7
          Windrose permalink

          No, Ms. Llamanun, ma’am.

          Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 7

      I was nowhere near there at the time and I have no idea how to make a stink bomb! The witnesses are lying! It was my evil twin!

      Wait … what are we talking about?

      Adores: 1
  17. 2011 October 7

    I have cracked the Da Vinci code. Here is what the second ad says:

    “46-inch LG LCD HDTV. Supports output up to 1080p. Works great, as you can see from the picture. Includes remote control and all cords, and the instruction manual if I can find it. Paid over $1200 new, asking $870. This is a great deal. Note, Wii and PlayStation 3 game consoles not included.”

    Please do not ask me to explain how I deciphered this, or I will be forced to admit I made it up based on the picture.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 October 7
      LimeLolly permalink

      Dang… you’re good.

      My decoder ring was eaten by my catulator, and I only get one letter every 16 hours.

      Adores: 1
  18. 2011 October 8
    Windrose permalink

    Accident and Monica, it figures you wouldn’t come around to see you were in the box today. Nonetheless, here are your Punchity Punch Punches!

    G’Night, and domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2011 October 10
    Ellen permalink

    I totally expected all the comments to be:

    ToV\wm”M alIE aOdw fEiesdkO WdhOwe,D

    Y’know, that is way harder to type than one might expect!

    Adores: 0

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