YSaC, Vol 1114: 25 or 30′ to 50′ doesn’t have the same ring, somehow.

2011 November 3

30′ to 50′


End of the year.

If you prefer call Jan ### ### ####

Jan.
I am Jan.
Jan I Am.

That Jan I Am,
that Jan I Am,
I do not LIKE that Jan I Am!

Do you like my Craigslist spam?

I do not like it Jan I Am,
I do not like your Craigslist spam.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there,
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Craigslist spam,
I do not like it Jan I Am.

Would you like it in the trees?
Or in a truck that’s full of bees?

I would not like it in the trees,
or in a truck that’s full of bees.
I would not like it here or there,
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Craigslist spam,
I do not like it Jan I Am.

Would you like it on a bed?
Or scooped from Lionel Richie’s head?

I would not like it on a bed,
or scooped from Lionel Richie’s head.
Not in the trees, not with some bees,
I would not like it here or there,
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Craigslist spam,
I do not like it, Jan I Am.

Could you like it on a rug?
Would you, with a pure bread pug?

I would not like it on a rug,
I could not, with a pure bread pug.
Not on a bed, not from a head,
Not in the trees, not with some bees,
I would not like it here or there,
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Craigslist spam,
I do not like it, Jan I Am.

Would you, could you, in a car?
Or with stormtroopers in a a bar?

I would not, could not, in a car!
Not in a bar! You let me be.
I do not like it on a rug,
I do not, with a pure bread pug.
I do not like it on a bead,
I do not like it from a head,
I do not like it in the trees,
I do not like it with some bees.
I do not like it here or there,
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your Craigslist spam,
I do not like it, Jan I Am.

Would you like it with a lion?
Could yo… oh, wait, that’s not a lion.

Never mind.

Thanks, Naomi!

53 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 November 3

    There is no way to top Dan’s commentary. That is all.

    Adores: 19
    • 2011 November 3
      tigprincess permalink

      I agree with Ed

      PS Anyone else think Sparky has gone all Zen on us?

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 November 3
      TinyBallOfLight permalink

      Agree. So awesome.

      Adores: 1
  2. 2011 November 3

    It’s the end of the year as we know it.
    It’s the 30 to 50 as we know it.
    It’s the end of the year as we know it.
    And Jan feels fine.

    Adores: 15
    • 2011 November 3

      Dave, did you hire Tim to help you break up with the ferrets? Or is there another reason for your ambiguousity (<<< is that even a word? Well, it is now, so there) these days?

      Adores: 2
  3. 2011 November 3
    Cindy B. permalink

    I have no clever comment to add (obviously I’m not even clever enough to figure out how to add a cute avatar to my name), but I wanted to say this is awesome! Having two kids, I have that book memorized and can recite it in my sleep. Well done, YSAK dan.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 November 3

      Hi Cindy B! You are most certainly clever, missy! You entertain two children on a regular basis.

      I believe that earns you the YSaC Clever Badge.

      Hold still while I pin it on you.

      Oops…sorry…anyone got a Band-Aid?

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 November 3

        [Helpful Lyle]

        If you go to Gravatar.com and create an account, you can upload an avatar picture. Then, when you come here to comment, use the same email from your gravatar account. It will automatically use your selected avatar from gravatar.

        [/HL]

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          (Important Tip Windy)

          Be sure to mark your picture as G rated or Gravitar won’t use it.

          Also the user name you use for your account at Gravitar doesn’t have to match your YSaC user name. Just the email needs to match.

          (/ITW)

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 November 3
          tigprincess permalink

          OK so my avatar changes from when I comment / edit (the traditional Not.A.Lion) to when I revisit to see further witticisms when its changed into being a real Lion. Wow! Mysteries of the Craigyverse.

          Adores: 1
      • 2011 November 3
        Cindy B. permalink

        Thank you everyone! And ouch. ;-)

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 November 3
          Cindy B. permalink

          Testing it out (thanks for indulging me).

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 November 3
          D = DM permalink

          Cindy B,
          By order of the Llamanun (BBUH), test posts are strictly disallowed in this vicinity. Please test your avatar (and a hazelnut coffee slice) in the corner.

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 November 3
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Avatar fully approved.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 November 3
          Spaceman.Spiff permalink

          Ditto, avatar much approved, and with a woohoo! too.

          Adores: 0
  4. 2011 November 3

    Wow, that stud has a huuuuuuuge end of year.

    Adores: 5
  5. 2011 November 3

    Dan=Brilliant

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 November 3
      camille permalink

      I do so like your Craigslist spam.
      Thank you, thank you, Dan I Am!

      Adores: 14
  6. 2011 November 3

    Can we vote to just put Dan in the box tomorrow? I don’t think any of us are going to do any better today.

    Adores: 13
    • 2011 November 3
      Windrose permalink

      Lyle, you have awesome mind reading powers, dudette!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 November 3
        Lola permalink

        I was thinking that as well. Might as well just go back to bed already today! 8)

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 November 3
          Windrose permalink

          We could just have a discussion group on our fav Dr. Seuss story! Horton hears a Grinch who Stole One Fish!

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 November 3
          Dan permalink

          The Butter Battle Book! For sure!

          “When tweedle beetles battle with their paddles in a puddle, it’s a tweedle beetle paddle puddle battle!”

          Adores: 7
        • 2011 November 3

          I have nothing useful to add here … I just wanted to point out that Dan’s avatar STILL cracks me up, even years later.

          Adores: 7
  7. 2011 November 3
    Windrose permalink

    Notice how much spam is like rap?

    Adores: 2
  8. 2011 November 3

    It appears that Jan is all trussed up…

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 November 4
      Windrose permalink

      See, today I come up with: Put your truss in the lore! Too late, too late.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2011 November 3

    30′ to 50′

    That’s a lot of wood. Too much for Jan to use. Sadly, she only gets to use it once a year. She’s still remembering the difficulty of handling that much last year, so she’s trying to get rid of at least some of it before the annual handling o’ the wood.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 November 3
      D = DM permalink

      Yancy, you nailed it.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 November 3
      Jen permalink

      So… Jan is Mrs Santa?

      Oooh, Christmas-flavoured coffee slices!?! Excellent.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 November 3
      tigprincess permalink

      is it Norwegian wood? it is very good.

      Adores: 4
  10. 2011 November 3

    On the topic of Dan’s Seussian impression, I would like to stand on this rickety soap box and shout the following.

    HOLLYWOOD – DON’T SCREW WITH DR. SEUSS!!!!

    The Cat in the Hat is a marvelous children’s book. The Mike Myers movie feels like a grimy, half-hearted effort at imitation made by a group of closet perverts.

    Ok, that is all. No more soap boxing for me for today.

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 November 3
      Lola permalink

      Closet perverts? Maybe I just have a dirty mind,* but I thought it was more obvious than that.

      *this is entirely possible and extremely likely

      Adores: 3
    • 2011 November 3
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Funny you mention that…

      Adores: 1
  11. 2011 November 3

    I’m pretty sure Jan. is at the beginning of the year…. Dec. is end of the year *shrugs* Maybe they’re on the CatCalendar.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 November 3
      Lola permalink

      Catlender!
      Number of days in the week vary, depending on how much sleeping has occurred.
      Tuna-uary, Fishuary, Mice are the first months …

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 November 3
        camille permalink

        Followed by Ay-purr-il.

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 November 3
          TinyBallOfLight permalink

          Which is then followed by: MAYbe I’ll do it, Maybe I won’t.

          Adores: 5
  12. 2011 November 3

    Yup, Dan has trumped us all today. I think next time I’m deputized to read Green Eggs & Ham for the 70 millionth time, I’ll read this one instead. Mix it up a little.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 November 3
      D = DM permalink

      If you follow it up with eBaiting’s “There Are Not Any Monkeys,” I’m there.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2011 November 3

    Speaking as the person who submitted this ad, I will admit that I was sort of hoping someone would be able to tell me what the heck it’s for. I looked to the picture to help me and it wasn’t so useful.

    In summary, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, 30′ TO 50′ OF WHAT??????

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 November 3

      *contemplates letting MM twist in the wind a while longer*

      Nah, I’ll be nice..those are trusses (or truss joists if you prefer) and are used in roofing. If you’ve ever been in an attic, you’ve likely seen – or more likely run into – one of those babies.

      At 30′-50′ long, these are probably used in commercial construction.

      corey, /corey..whatevs.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 November 3
        D = DM permalink

        CJ, Did you consult a ROOFER ROOFER ROOFER for that information?

        Adores: 2
    • 2011 November 3
      camille permalink

      Wait, you came to this group for a serious answer?

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 November 3
      LimeLolly permalink

      Pretty sure that 30′to 50′ is 9 to 15 yards. Though who can blame Jan for not wanting to edge and mow that many yards.

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 November 3
      Spaceman.Spiff permalink

      [requisite construction corey]
      Jan (who may be from the skanderhooverian NW, and is a male person who pronounces their name and “yahn”) is likely an employee at a wood structural truss plant.

      Such plants often have surplus stock on hand.

      What happens is that the plans are sent to the truss plant, and the employees there cipher what shapes fit the dimensions of wall span and roof shape and the like.

      Which is all fine and dandy.

      Unless the people placing the foundation “uh oh” (there’s usually only a couple inches of “play” in the spans).
      Or, the City Permit office denies the variance and the trusses make the roof too tall, per local zoning.
      Or, the contractor–or client–goes broke before building starts.

      All of which mean the truss plant’s storage yard is cluttered up with assembled trusses, and no real buyers for them. The accountants, as the end of the fiscal year nears, have no category for “Work In Progress we’re carrying and have no idea how to keep showing it as an asset when we all know it’s a white elephant in the way of current work.” So, a ‘yard sale’ of sorts.

      Sadly, there is almost always some cheapskate out there trying to get 11¢ from Scrooge’s dime, who will take a sow’s ear and claim it silk purse.

      Hope Yan gets some offers to buy.

      [/corey]

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 November 3
        CoffDrop permalink

        It’s déjà vu all over again, Spiff:

        My name is Jon Johnson,
        I come from Wisconsin.
        I work in the lumberyard there.

        When I walk down the street,
        All the people I meet
        Say, “Hey, What’s your name?”
        And I tell ‘em:

        My name is………

        [Repeat until you puke]

        Adores: 1
      • 2011 November 3
        TinyBallOfLight permalink

        I totally saw Jan as a male too. A Dutch male.

        Adores: 2
    • 2011 November 3
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      It’s just shorthand. 30 to 50 feet. Depending on how many Sparky can finish liberating from the bodies between now and when you call.

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 November 3
        D = DM permalink

        Jan wouldn’t have to resort to stunts like an end of the year sale if she wasn’t asking an arm and a leg for them, though.

        Adores: 3
  14. 2011 November 3
    TinyBallOfLight permalink

    I’m not even going to try to think of anything clever or witty to say. Dan’s the man.

    Adores: 3
  15. 2011 November 4
    Windrose permalink

    noni and Ed, remember, what happened yesterday in the box stays in the box. You don’t have to answer any questions. 8) Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Morning, La Jolla!

    Adores: 0

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