YSaC, Vol. 1159: It’s a great idea, but possibly not, and I’m not being indecisive!
**SPONGE** Sponge And More Sponge
This is some fun sponge.
Throw it at your wife and not get a Domestic Violence charge against you.
Kid love the stuff, fun for all ages.
Be the entertainment on your block and have a sponge party.
Fill your apartment swimming pool and get some laffs.
Glue the sponge all over your car and never get dents again.
Uses are endless for such great american sponge.
If interested, shoot me an email with a contact number.
Let’s make a sponge holiday and enjoy.
Are you ready, snarkers? *mumbles*
I can’t HEAR you! *slightly louder mumbles*
Ohh….
Who sells on the internets things that you see?
Sparky Spongepants!
Scary and Slimey and Unclear is He!
Sparky Spongepants!
If a cellulose party is something you wish,
Sparky Spongepants!
Then answer his ad and pay shipping and “ish.”
Sparky Spongepants!
READY?
Sparky Spongepants
Sparky Spongepants
Sparky Spongepants
SPARKY SPONGEPANTS!
(You can blame Erin for this one. Thanks Erin!)
“great american sponge”? Hmm. I think I dated that guy. Briefly. To where his … absorbent qualities became apparent.
Other thoughts, or, rather, questions: Is the little girl extra, or part of the deal? And is anyone else troubled by the fact that the first thing they cite as a use is an attempt to avoid domestic violence charges? Lastly (at least for now), why is the sponge segregated by color?
1 – She is the free gift with purchase.
2 – Yes.
3 – They are racist sponges.
White spongepremisists make me sick.
*spongepremacists*
/pedanticity
End spongepartheid now!
They’re jingoistic, too. Note how careful Sparky was to mention that they’re American sponges. Bungholes. I vote we kill them with fire. Let’s give them to that Winterburne guy for his next pyromaniac holiday. According to Ralph’s linky, this here sponge burns real good.
I was also deeply disturbed by that first use. But it all fits together like a sad story. He hits his wife, ties on at the neighborhood (apartment complex) party, dumps stuff in the pool, and tears out in his car only to get in an accident. He looks within his soul (using the term loosely) and decides to turn his life around with the help of some innocent child and Styrofoam packing material (or “sponge” as his addled cracker mind views it).
Or is that too bleak?
ugh…ties *one* on. I tried a different brand of coffee, and there is no kick to it.
Poor purple fishie. Here, have one of Taco’s super-special espresso coffee slices.
:puts slice on disposable plate:
Quick, before it eats through the paper!
Y’know, it’s a little known fact that Great American Sponge was the working title for Spongebob Squarepants. Before the signature square pants, they had him in this red pajama suit with this on the chest:
Believe it or not …
I’m walking on air…
I never thought I could feel so free-he-he!
The more you know….
Sponge parties can include the whole neighborhood.
Foam, foam rearranged
Where the fear and the antidote play
Where never is heard a non- polymer word
And the guys are not grouchy all day.
“Kids, get ready to go; the Sparksons are having a sponge party.”
“Again? Mom, do we have to?”
“Yes, we have to. We owe them socially. Now be on your best behavior and try to pretend to have fun with discarded packing materials from stereos and computers.”
He made a nearly life-like doll from the sponges! And I love what he’s done with the front yard. Never mow again. Uh, where’s the chihuahua?
But…am I sponge-worthy?
Ahhhh! You beat me to it!
*pouts*
Oh! It’s Child’s First Dumpster Portrait! I’ve been looking for one of those.
Speaking of “ish” -I learned over the holidays that there is an employee at my mom’s retirement community named Ishmael. Guess what his nickname is.
I think Moby Dick might have been a whole different book if it had begun, “Call me Ish.”
Wait, are those…
*puts on old lady glasses*
Those are toilets in the upper right corner, in the background of the last pic, aren’t they? He and Curly Sue there are dumpster divers, they’re at the local landfill and they think they’ve found something they can make a buck off of.
Splunge!
“Doris Dog goes up to Rock Tree, and she . . . piddles on him!”
Let’s make a sponge holiday indeed! That sounds like a fabulous idea. Sponge cake, little sponge hats, we can sponge paint the ceiling of the back bedroom, and so forth! Who’s in?
I propose we go with January 13, in honor of Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s birthday. Plus it’s a week from this Friday!
This Friday is the 12th Day of Beesmas! We have to drink mead and eat honey cakes in honor of the Three Wise Beekeepers who worshiped at the Hive!
And, you know, ninjas.
The last time I heard that phrase, it took 6 tubes of ointment, 2 rounds of antibiotics and a scourging to clean that up.
Scouring sucks. Most insurance plans won’t pay for it so they take it out of your hide.
Many insurance ‘remedies’ resemble “scourging” as is.
I’d probably taken more Accounting classes, had I known they had curricula in flagellation, switch botany, or such similar enhanced calculation formulae.
Woo hoo Cap’n! Kinky! Talk nerdy to me!
LL, are we talking the sponge-type birth control thingies? Cause you never want to get them from the dollar store.
Windy…. I…. wasn’t thinking of that direction.
:shudders and crosses legs:
Eww.
One of the things that I always think about when I’m in line at the dollar store – there are three within walking distance of my house – is that if you buy the condoms there, you may well be back soon after for the pregnancy test kits that hang right next to them, behind the counter.
I think the same thing about the food at the dollar store. It seems seriously dodgy.
Someone told me that it IS dodgy, but I can’t remember why. I’ve bought cheap 2-liters of diet Coke or seltzer there, but other than that, no edibles. (But candles featuring saints no one’s ever heard of? All I want!)
This as sucks…
Does it matter that they aren’t actually sponges? I suppose not…
the las time i throwed a spunge at th’ wifey, dommestic charges were filed.
she gets out nex fryday
Wouldn’t it be easier to make your own sandwich? 8)
Not if it’s sponge on rye with sourkelp
You guys make me laff!
That *is* some fun sponge. And you can tell kids like it ’cause there’s a kid right there! What excellent marketing!
:draws random squiggles representing foam bits on napkin, presents it to a toy company’s board of directors:
You know – for kids!
In keeping with Dan’s (BBUH) Spongebob theme, I will say that some of the black chunks o’ sponge do look like the karate (or kay-rah-TAY) helmet that Spongebob wears.
(Joy! While trying to find a pic of Spongebob wearing the helmet I discovered spongepedia.com! It’s the best day ever!)
It’s foam! It’s foam! It’s light, it’s fluffy, it’s sponge! It’s foam, it’s foam, it’s better than bad, it’s good!
But does it roll over stairs, alone or in pairs?
If I were to admit that I would actually respond to this ad, and possibly even pay hard cash money for these things [depending on how (un)squishable they were and whether or not they smelled], would y’all throw sponges at me in derision?
Because I can actually handle the derision; what I NEED is some lightweight, easily-custom-sizeable, rectangular block type things. And if y’all’d throw them at me instead of me having to pay this guy, and probably listen to his “dang furriners” rhetoric in the bargain, I’d count that as a win.
(It’s a bookshelf issue, don’t ask.)
I wouldn’t throw them in derision.
It would be with lots of glee.
One man’s trash ….
Like my learned colleague LimeLolly, I would hurl said sponges at you with glee. It is the cast of Glee at whom I would hurl them with derision.*
*this may not be true.
Ah, see, I’d be buying them to sculpt into amusing little statues, which I would then throw at people.
Yay! This was my submission. Yes, Erin is TinyBallofLight. =)
Oh sponges, glorious sponges, how I wish you were mine.
(Is the kid included?)
Tiny, we don’t see enough of you around here! Congrats on the submission, it’s certainly. . .that is, I think it’s. . .well, congratulations!
Thanks, I’ve missed you all too! I started a new job and was in a play (which took 3 months of my life away from me). So, that’s where I’ve been. But, I’ll try to stop in from time to time. =)
Ralph and Hammy, you’re on your way to winning all the innerwebs that will fit in a Llama-nun (MBBUH) coffee mug! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Bikini Bottom!