YSaC, Vol. 1174: Quick, name their OTHER hit.
2012 January 26
97 chevy k1500 – $1600
This is a nice truck for part a toy or whatever. She ran like a rape date before the fuel.regulator went out. Doesn’t start will need to be towed. Body in good shape inside is almost lime new. Vin plate in windshield is missing no title as is got pics that I can text over if interested text or call me at xxxxxxxxxx mike
I walked along the avenue
I never thought I’d see a truck like you;
See a truck like you.
With missing VIN and no engine
The kind of body that’s almost lime new;
Body that’s lime new.
And I ran, I ran so far away.
I just ran, I ran all night and day.
Thank god I got away.
Thanks, Ferdinand!
I dunno… it sounds more like a lemon to me.
Or like it should be buried in lime.
To get rid of the evidence.
Or so I’ve heard.
*minty lime*
Seeing as I submitted this in early July, is the queue really 6.5 months or is that how extensive the quality-of-lulz testing is? ;P
Also, I didn’t even pay attention to the vehicle details that much since I sorta made out most of what the seller was trying to say past his typos. All that was on my mind was the comment I included with the submission: ‘she ran like a WHAT???” (Google though shows it seems to be quite a common phrase for the way people describe how their engines run… :/)
All that was on my mind was the comment I included with the submission: ‘she ran like a WHAT???” (Google though shows it seems to be quite a common phrase for the way people describe how their engines run… :/)
Google shows Sparky’s version (“rape date”) or the original/correct version (“raped ape”)? Not that one is any better than the other, I’m just curious… and not going to google it.
Man. There’s a “whatever happened to” moment. [I can’t decide if by “other hit” you mean Wishing (Photograph of You) or Space Age Love Song, though. Wishing (PoY) is more meaningful to me personally, but IIRC Space Age Love Song was more popular. Now I’ll be reliving my high school music years all day, thanks so much.]
I was thinking of Wishing (Photograph of You). I’ll admit that I forgot about Space Age Love Song! Now that will be my earworm for the day.
One of the finer tracks on the two-disc The Wedding Singer soundtrack, which makes my top 10 list of “soundtracks that were better than the movie.”
Top of that list, for me (in high school and still now): Repo Man.
Yes, the queue of submissions is huge. If printed out and laid end to end, they would reach from here to a place a really long ways away.
Also, yes, there is extensive testing along the lines of, “Can you think of something funny to say about this one?” “No. Can you?” It’s grueling, and goes on for literally seconds.
This is truer than anyone knows.
Um.. I know.
The categorization overhead is probably rather large, too.
What with having to decide if a particular submission ought be under Wheelbarrows or Thinly-disguised Solicitations or From the Time-Cube universe or such like. With the additional, increased work-load, fillip of how many things cross-index, too.
I have had idle moments, when the Tag List has caught my attention, where I contemplated the matrix math of all those Tags as axes in a relational database.
Usually, I just get more coffee at those points.
Usually.
<sigh>
The Llama-nun and Ostrimu put all submissions through a rigorous testing regimen before they are posted here. They have literally dozens of monkeys working around the clock to sort through all the submissions to find the tastiest tidbits for posting.
Once selected by the panel of monkeys, each potential ad is moved on the cat division, where the funniosity quotient, or LP, is analyzed with the most sophisticated mathematical tools. Any ad that scores less than multicolored platypus is rejected from the pool.
From there, each qualifying ad is coated in the finest German dark chocolate and served to a panel of
hostagesjudges. Each ad is rated on both taste and aesthetic preparation. We’re not really sure why.Each ad is then packaged and sealed before being put in the curing house. Temperature and humidity are precisely controlled so that each ad ages to perfection. Testing is done weekly to assure that no ad has spoiled during the curing process. Spoiled ads are discarded, and any that remain then move on to the final processing step.
Here, in the final step, each ad is fed into the Snarktron 4000, which automatically matches each ad with it’s ideal commentary. Once paired up, the ad is then packaged and scheduled for delivery to the website.
If you have any more questions about the ad selection process, feel free to email our company.
Respectfully submitted,
Asshat McSparklington IVth.
Thank doG they aren’t selected by Congress…
This is also truer than anyone knows.
Can I put in a request for a switch to Belgian dark chocolate? Thanks.
We have monkeys?
Heaps of them.
Literally barrels of them!
And they are more fun than a….well, you get the picture.
Well, the monkeys are actually employed by the sub-contractor sothe ads are shipped out to them and then shipped back once they’ve been filtered. It’s more like a business partnership with the monkeys rather than actually having monkeys.
Doh, that should have been “forsooth!” and not “sothe.”
Or “so the.” You know, whatever you want it to be.
Of COURSE you have monkeys! And how blessed you are to have monkeys! Do you realize how lucky you are? Of course credit for our contributions is always left out of the history books.
That little “well” in your door handle of your car, where you can keep a handy pile of change for the drive-thru? Our invention. The recall/last button on the tv remote? Our idea. Jersey Shore?
Well, nevermind.
Snooki was your idea? A pox on you for that one. ( A little pox, the others were good)
Mmmmm… chocolate, deep dark chocolate.
Taco is quite obviously well rested and in finest snark form. I snarfed Diet Coke out my nose and scared the clothespin jeebus out of my catulator. And now there’s a suspicious stain on the back of my crocheted shorts. Welcome back, Taco!
He’s been working out. Irony curls, dead snark lifts, regular 5k-character quip runs.
Is the body almost lime new in a minty shell? I’ll take it.
P.S. Their other hit? You mean that band was ever known for anything other than the hairstyles?
I’m guessing lime is a lot like minty, only greener.
It’s a mojito car, just add rum!
I think Sparky may have already added substantial rum to generate that ad.
I dunno, $1600 sounds like a lot of money for what is basically a fancy planter with nice upholstery. I wonder if Sparky would be willing to trade for a nice personalized necklace?
I believe “S”s are too difficult to make though.
Nah, it’s just a backwards Z.
S’s are very easy to make. Why, I make an S out of myself every day.
I’ve got a nice sandbox I could trade him.
Hey! A car that doesn’t work for your garage that doesn’t work. Coincidence, or fate?
Well, k1500. But that’s my final offer.
So I stole this truck when I was young and it ran great for a while. Didn’t even need a key, you just twisted a couple of wires together and boom, it was on! Nobody would steal it either because it looked like a pile of junk and the inside smelled like a dead possum unleashed their bowels everywhere.
When it stopped runnin’ though, that’s when I had to get rid of the ol’ girl. $1,600 bucks and you don’t even have to do title paperwork!
It ran great ’til he got it home, then removed the fuel regulator that he needed for his vehicle and any legal identifiers.
Unfettered Bowels is IF’s Sick Puppies cover band.
How exactly would one fetter a bowel – surgically implant a tiny straightjacket?
Well, I think that calling somebody an ass-hole is analogous to calling them a bowel fetter…
Bungee cords and zip ties.
Dang it! My comment makes absolutely NO sense below Taco’s, was supposed to go under Ghostie’s!
*shakes tiny monkey fist* Curse you Taco!
Mmmm….electric grave bowels…..
Taco: But wouldn’t an ass PLUG actually be a bowel fetter-er?
Here’s a conversation I never imagined I’d ever be a part of, let alone start.
It all depends on how literal we want to be with the definition of fettering.
Basically I was going with “restrained” as my definition of choice though “unreasonably restrained or shackled” is most accurate a definition.
Though that could still mean that you’re in a car and have an urgent need to void yourself but are still 60 miles from the next rest area or town. That seems pretty unreasonable restraint, especially if you’re the passenger and the driver is yelling at you that you need to hold it.
At the same time, an ass plug or a tactically placed zip tie would also count as unreasonable restraint or shackling.
It can also refer to social or traditional restriction, which is even stranger when applied to the bowels.
Though, to be honest, I think my bowels are non-traditionalist sometimes.
Yes! When it comes to bowels and asses, I know my stuff. Thank you!
I think an ass plug is what Sparky uses his head for.
Ok, had to stop an mentally change gears there, fetters as equal to hobbles brought to mind the rawhide and rope appliances one wants to keep one’s horse from wandering off across the Panhandle as one sleeps, only applied to a colon . . .
But, in the second sense, I find I, for one, have several social and traditional strictures over public display of bowels, or of the contents thereof, or of the “how” of either those displays came about. I adhere unwaveringly to my practice of those fetters, and would prefer others do so, too.
So then, ratemypoo counts as unfettered bowels. Good, we have that sorted.
No, I will not link the site. Google if you dare.
OT – y’all, I’ve recently had to change some things on Facebook, so if you get a *strange* friend request from a dog wearing large glasses…yep, that’s me. 🙂
But what if I get a request from a strange dog wearing glasses and I don’t recognize that it’s a stalker because of said glasses and I accept them and I end up dead and IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
*passes out from lack of oxygen ’cause of run on sentence*
Depends, do you mean ‘dead,’ ‘daed,’ ‘daid,’ or ‘ded’–I’ve noticed, in my too-few sojourns to the Volunteer State, that there appear to be distinctions between and betwixt those states.
These things matter, after all, one has to know if a “laying on of hands” is needful, or if excrement projection, recussitation, recitation, or data-recovery application, etc., are requisite.
The proper term in the Volunteer State is, actually, “belly up”. And laying on of hands is only important during ordination ceremonies ( you know, so you can legally marry and baptize folks).
Body is in good shape, interior may be a mountain of rust and/or weasels with lyme disease.
“Doesn’t start will need to be towed.” Don’t start with me, Sparky. I’ve been around the block so many times I know the only parking space that’s free.
Sure Happy It’s Thursday! Cause it’s Ladies’ Day in the box! Party on, kelli, Lola, and Ghostie!
Whee! Between my blender, Lola’s flask, and the lime-truck, I say we make it Margarita Day as well!
I had gallons of limes to share, but they were in my truck… that was stolen.
Interestingly, all that was left was the VIN tag.
Did he really need to use “body” and “rape date” so close together. Ewww. Forget lime, get the luminol.
That phrase is just making me really uncomfortable. You can bet the good ol’ boy who coined it is still getting free drinks to this day. *shudder*
I’ve heard a fast car or truck described as “running like a scalded dog”, never rape date.
Yeah, rape date or raped ape, either way it’s skeevy and disgusting and Sparky should be slapped across the face for even considering using it. No snark here, given the conversation recently on the Facebook group, and just general humanity, this phrase needs to be taken to Mt. Orodruin and cast into the cracks of doom so that it can never again take form.
*foaming at mouth*
Well I’m not braggin’ babe so don’t put me down
But I’ve got a busted set of wheels she’ll need to be towed
With some “lime” stains on her upholstery
And if it had a fuel pump, man I know she could fly
Just a little date rape
You know I got 10 to life
Just a little date rape
You know I got 10 to life
The best toy I could possibly think of. Just imagine all the fun the kids will have, between a date-raped truck and a pile of styrofoam!
And a musical kitchen set, which may not be musical.
Toy chevies are not as cute as the teacup ones.
I prefer the herding Chevy, myself. But, I’ve got a lot of bicycles that need to be kept in the pasture so I’m biased.
Here’s my chevy, it’s a good buy ’cause the fuel line ran dry
And good old boys can fake the title (no lie)
And this will be my first craigslist try….
this Craigslist try is makin’ me cry…
“We made love in my Chevy van, and date raped in my Chevy truck”
I think I’d rather take the one with all of the bees. The lime interior soured my disposition towards this one. Besides, I think this guy is a (coco) nut.
The one with the bees is a sweeter deal.
“Vin plate in windshield is missing no title ”
Hey, Sparky. In my state the above equals 10 years minimum for grand theft auto.
[corey]
In most states, there is a procedure, typically called a Salvage Title to correct that, and VIN are on most vehicles in other locations.
In most states, that’s the sort of thing that is learned in “shop” class before even standing for a DL, too.
Usually.
<sigh>
[/corey]
[caution: earworm]
Met ‘er on a Thursday/
An’ ‘er name was “ill”/
The Don’t Don’t Run,/
The Don’t Don’t Run …
[/earworm]
I’ve got cinder blocks in storage, but I don’t have a weed infested overgrown front yard to put it in.
I used to have a front lawn.
Until the bank took it away.
(The drought had put paid to the weeds/overgrown situation anyway)
Now it’s all gone,
Mr Peabody’s coal train done hauled it all away…
Meh. My neighbor just keeps his broken down scrap metal on the street and parks the good truck in the front yard.
“This is a nice truck” / translate/
This truck has a nice personality. / translate/
This truck is ugly. /translate/
This truck can’t get a date unless it’s set up on a blind date. /translation/
Rape date
I am hoping we can limit further use of the term Date Rape. Not to spoil anyone’s fun, but I know there are people or persons who will be very uncomfortable with that phrase, due to personal experience. Just a thought.
Maybe the seller actually meant a culinary fusion of this and this.
I have the same feeling about jokes regarding incontinence britches.
(seriously, duly noted)
Amen, Sistah Windy.
No personal experience here, but well understood. Have my own sensitivities.
On a similar–but distinctly side-note, “we” may need to start using the YSaC Friends f/b Chat function more, what with Timeline getting ready to catch up to us all.
For those not yet read up on this, the general pre-Timeline recommendations are to set overall page privacy to “Friends Only” at a minimum. Further, that one ought to be using Lists aggressively, as in having “Close Friends” “Friends” “Distant Friends” “Work Friends” and so on (f/b allows access restriction by List/Group already, as is).
Additionally, when TimeLine comes, each person gets a free week to tinker/adjust their settings and the information displayed.
Just a thought.
*sniff*
“we”?
The royal “we.”
The “weeeeeeeeeeeeee!” in the Geico piggy commercials. Yes, this is my ringtone. No, I make no apologies for it. And, yep, the cats hate it.
I rule.
what’s timeline? have I missed something? did i fall asleep and did fb do something naughty again? Help, confused of Canary Islands!
I’m glad I’m not the only one, though I’ve not been on FB for…a year perhaps. I fertilize NO ONE’s crops!
Heh heh. “Fertilize”. *snort*
Absolutely. It is as icky and awful as it gets.
Now you’ll just need to get all the vehicle enthusiasts on board. Last check on Google gives 164 hits for “ran like a rape date” all leading to forums about cars/trucks, engines, and even one thread about an RC toy car.
At least YSaC is now the first result and today’s post is 2nd. 😉
On an RC car? Again, fabulous selling point for children. Syntactically, that phrase doesn’t even make sense.
That’s because it’s NOT the correct/original phrase; it’s a corruption of the pronunciation of “raped ape,” the same way “intensive purposes” came to life from “intents and purposes.”
[corey, I guess]
The full original phrase was to say that something “moves like a raped ape going up a tree” or “goes like a raped ape up a tree.” My father (from whom I first heard it, as a wee thing) claims it originated among Korean/early Vietnam war soldiers who, in the absence of suitable female company, would trap primates for sexual use. When released, these animals would move at lightning speed up the nearest tree. Since the phrase “raped ape” includes an inherent rhyme and is easier to say than “raped monkey,” the word “ape” was used instead.
I have no idea whether that’s accurate or not (probably not, as so many “explanations” of phrases like that are complete balderdash) but the phrase did seem to become popular in the 1950s, so the timing’s on. For myself, I can’t believe any man in his right mind would get his bits that close to a wild monkey – I don’t care how well restrained you think you have it, they’re vicious and have teeth. I CAN, however, see a scenario in which monkeys flee at the approach of soldiers, and one soldier makes a joke about “It knew you were thinking it looked like your girlfriend, Joe” and the joke takes its natural course or gains some added color after being retold a few dozen times.
A google for [“raped ape” origin] doesn’t give much by way of etymology, except that the phrase seems to have become popular in the 1950s among car enthusiasts.
Aside: The cartoon character “Grape Ape” hit the stage in the 70s, IIRC; when I was little I would frequently correct my father and his buddies in their pronunciation as they talked about their cars. They finally started using “Grape Ape” instead of “raped ape” – at least in my presence – after my mother had a fit about it.
kelli, Lola, ghostie, sorry the margaritas ran out. Next time we’ll mix up some Punchity Punch Punch! (I’ll be serving this at the YSaC convention!)
Good Morning, Liverpool!