pool table and some ass – included
full size 8 foot slate table and two ques and balls and rack included
Oh great. Let’s see where Dan goes with this…
All I can say is – you folks got off easy. I’m sure it’ll only get worse in the comments. Just remember – we used “nice rack” yesterday. Thanks, sd!
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Some ass included.
Does this mean the guy selling comes with it?
’cause I don’t need a roomy.
“[T]wo ques” too?
¿Por ques como?
Could this be Manuel (he’s from Barcellona) from Fawlty Towers?
adores for the Farty Towels ref.
Grave Bowles make for Farty Towels <G>
“some ass included” Does this mean that there is donkey’s included?
Donkey’s what?
It’s the donkey’s included.
You can find those everywhere!
Where the hell would I put a donkey? I barely have room for the pool table.
[pool table corey]
You really need 5′-0″ clear all the way around a pool table. So, you need to ad 10′-0″ to the length & width for the space needed.
Which means, a “full size” pool table–5×10–needs a 15′-0″ x 20′-0″ space, which can be difficult to fit in a 11-12′ x 22′ (former) garage.
This table is probably 4′ x 8′–a size often referred to as a “quarter” table, for the number of quarter (coin) operated tables of that size found in places selling adult beverages.
For our UK/Commonwealth compatriots, “pool” is similar to “snooker” except for using a smaller table, and only 15 object balls. Those balls are enumerated, and have seven unique colors–7 solid; 7 white with a stripe of color; and the #8 in solid black. The tables are often fitted with a coin-operation box, that, for a couple of shillings, releases those orbs for aligning in a triangluar rack to setup for play. As each ball is “sunk” (or “potted”/”pocketed”), a series of tracks in the table collects the balls into the coin-operated queue.
This is a source of a great deal of drinking, angst, boastfulness, avarice, lust, and gluttony–one thing to have down to the public house; quite another to have within one’s home.
[/corey]
I think it’s “cue” Sparky, get a clue, Sparky
Perhaps you were trying for queue, Sparky
So, what are you going to do Sparky?
Sell it or give it away Sparky?
You post ads like an ass Sparky.
Understand now why I’m snarky Sparky?
Maybe Sparky was trying to sound edjumacated and was trying to spell queue(s). You know, one for balls and one for racks.
I will be in the corner for the rest of the day.
I have found that the queue for the balls is shorter than the queue for the racks.
Given that real/serious/knowledgeable players are rather picky about the length and weight of the pool cue [sticks] they use, Spark’s lack of specificity embraces the the Latinate sense of que, qui, ques, et al rather sublimely–if, almost certainly, inadvertently.
(My two-piece stick is a 42″ 20oz; I used to have a 44″ 23½oz “breaker”, but, well, there was this woman . . . )
Oh my, Capn!
Uh, yeah! Meeeee….ow!
wait you broke the tip off inside her? Damn, that’s kinda rough, but whatever makes you go (amiright). Sucks about the cue stick though.
<SIGH>
No.
Was minding my own business–like I always do–was some beer, some pool shootin’, an ordinary sort of night. Then, there was this woman, and things happened, directions were confused . . . only concrete thing afterwards was that the custom hickory cue-stick was not to be found.
[cue music clips from “Momentary Lapse of Reason”; “Your Cheatin’ Heart”; “Havana Daydreamin'” and “Road Goes on Forever”]
Beer is good. I want one(many) now.
Quid?
Well, whaddya know. The stereo in the corner is playing a certain song from A Chorus Line.
I know the economy is bad, but do you really need to offer those sort of incentives just to sell a used pool table? I can see offering some ass to sell a house, but a pool table? Have some self-respect, Sparky.
My thots zackly
Hmm, perhaps the “pool table” is a lie, and this is but a (highly) disguised “pro services” ad?
Some Ass Included is the name of my Van Halen cover band.
How about a band called Some Ass Required? That’s one I would go and see. Oh yeah.
Unfortunately, that one’s Phil Collins.
Phil Colons.
Feel Colons?
I try not to.
Would Grave Bowels be something one feels Coming At the Edge of Night?
Does one take Sususudio for that, one wonders?
Heh
Sparky spelled cue with a q.
Que?
Si
FLAN NO ES FEUGO!
‘K.
Tengo dolor de cabeza ahora, amigos. Tiene dos ibuprofena?
Even in another language… *shakes head*
And with no lessons either!
No tengo el ibuprofeno, el pescado de color púrpura. ¿Quieres una aspirina?
Taco, enchilada por queso es muy denada tamales.
Cerveza!
There, see…*anyone can speak Spanish.
*this may not be true
Was?
¿Como? ¡No, budin flameado inmediatamente!
(Für Taco
MagieMugic: ¡Mussen jetzt Flammenpudding sein!)Par-que?
Butter!
Cash, grass or ass – no one cleans out their basement for free.
I have one question that will determine my interest in the pool table and the ass:
Has the owner of the ass been eating any ThunderBum chili lately?
Is it o.k. to eat day-old ThunderBum Chili?
Sure, but the results intensify the longer it sits out.
And the longer it sits out, the less able you are to sit down.
Whatis: Your flaming avatar goes SO WELL with that comment. It made me lol.
The secret’s out. Weeks of posting on these boards was actually an extended marketing campaign by Preparation H.
No worries. I’m actually a build up for the next animated blockbuster.
*bum bum bum BAAAAAA!*
“Coming this summer, to a theatre near you, from the people that brought you Toy Story and A Bug’s Life: Curious George, A Monkey’s Tail.”
Hah! See what I did? What I did there? See?
Oh well.
*pout*
Didn’t… didn’t that already happen? With Will Ferrell? Or am I living in a terrible alternate reality where that’s the only difference?
Aw, FM! I thought you were an ad for Mr. Magoo (post-Planet of the Apes, of course)
Do Not let WitS near day-old chili eaters.
I… I have an abbreviation! 😀
Well, calling you What is too formal, and Whatisthestars leads to speeling arrors. So congratulations, you are now WitS. I believe Who is still on first.
And it works really well in the context of this post. I now have WitS AND ass!
I’ll just go straight to the corner. Saves time.
Don’t pass go, don’t collect coffee slices.
If you are having trouble passing go, perhaps some Sussudio will help (no jacket may be required)?
And Capn needs some corner time now.
And Beer
I second the need for beer.
Good grief! I’d like to sell some of my ass. I’ve got enough ass for two people. Hell, I think my ass might cover a good portion of the pool table if I sat on it.
One thing is for sure. No woman will ever buy this pool table….except, maybe, one of the Olsen twins.
But at least he had the balls to try to sell it.
(Can I go to the corner? I don’t think I’ve ever been cool enough)
Can you go to the corner?! Why, you’re already here!
Coffee slice?
Don’t mind if I do. Wow, it is more crowded than I thought.
Luckily the corner, much like the TARDIS, is bigger on the inside.
The colon is like that too.
I’ll get the shovels.
Goatse what you did there.
Is this the queue for the racks? Cause it looks like the one for balls is shorter, and I can’t wait here all morning. Excuse me, may I hold your stick? Why do they call it pool when there’s no water involved? *wanders away mumbling about crowded corners*
I’m queued! I’m queued! She said I’m queued!
*jumps into the air*
|splat!|
Stupid deer!
A buck, a deer.
A big male deer.
Has some balls, a rack and ass.
Yes, I fear,
I’m way off here.
And I’m lacking any class.
You can learn in public schools,
Tables do not go in pools.
Ques, it does not rhyme with lose.
So use the term pool cues.
To the corner with you, sir.
Ladies and gentlemen (and those amalgamations thereof): OMV doing his rendition of Julie Andrews!
Aww!
*casts eyes toward floor*
*uses big toe to kick at imaginary dust bunny*
*catches imaginay dust bunny in crotch*
*imaginary dust bunny doubles over*
Heh heh *instantly feels better*
Disclamer:
No actual dust bunnies were harmed in the making of this comment.
Dust bunnies are way to agile and can deftly dodge a big toe.
You cannot make a dust bunny by taking a real bunny and covering it with honey, then dusting with sugar. That just attracts bears and bees.
Dust bunny and its variations are the property of Dust Bunny Corp.
See terms of use.
TERMS OF USE:
Use of the terms dust bunny, dust monkey, dust kitten, dust puppy, goosed moose, and dust wombat are prohibited without written consent unless said users of terms are dust bunnies, dust monkeys, dust kittens, dust puppies, geesed meese, dust wombats, or a commenter on YSaC.
Dust Bunny Corp. is a proud sponsor of the “Save the Otterman” foundation.
To make a donation to the “Save the Otterman” foundation, click on the donate button above the YDSaC box on the right side of your screen.
OMV, you forgot to mention to not dust bunny except on advice of a physician, and that some side-effects may occur not legal where prohibited you should always read the full prospectus before investing all investment includes some risk your mileage may vary professional driver on closed course only not all applicants eligible for these rates equal opportunity lender I can’t believe it’s not butter no parkay see product packaging for details see local listings.
Statute 37B of the YSaC penal code strictly prohibits putting dust bunnies down your pants, undergarments, or similar articles of clothing for the purposes of commenting, gambling, or selling things for free.
Fixed it for ya, Taco.
Anyone have some doors I can borrow? Brer Fox just made my day.
OT: I just thought you might like to know that *we* have been imitated by The Bloggess.
We have cat math, so she has:
http://thebloggess.com/2012/02/weasel-algebra/
I prefer cat math, of course, but I do think imitation is the sincerest form….
Particularly from The Bloggess, who is seventeen shades of awesome.
I love the weasel. My mother has a few strange taxidermy animals hanging around her place that would fit right in with that blog. Her friend gave her a raccoon with part of the fingers chewed off so it looks like it is flipping people the bird, and she recently acquired a very large, very OLD stuffed grizzly bear that my brother likes to get into mock fights with. Sometimes Grandfather Bear fights back though. Mom stood up too quickly beside him the one day, and got claw marks down the side of her face. She still loves the old guy, though. He even has his own Facebook page. lol
Hmmm, stuffed weasel, can’t decide if this is one of IF’s cover band or a euphemism for… Wow the corner sure is crowded today!
Could you move over a bit? I can’t rack my balls!
We may be dealing with a hermaphrodite here.
Has balls and rack.
I prefer asexual pool tables myself.
But then you have a problem with them constantly budding until you’re ass-deep in pool balls.
Help control the furniture population – have your table spayed or neutered!
I’ll be in the corner.
Sprayed or varnished
Ghosty, you only get that problem if you feed them.
(or get them wet)
OMV! Corner!!!
I’m going, I’m going.
Too many of the bar tables I’m familiar with have been sprayed and Natty-ed far more than enough for me . . . <sigh>
Do asexual pool tables wear bikinis or trunks?
Yes.
Rats! I should have trade marked that reply when I started it years ago!
Aha! See, I was right! a Bull Moose – balls and a rack!
I think it’s some sort of code. Sparky is either selling sex or seeking sex. Possibly with a hermaphrodite donkey considering both balls and rack are included.
Frankly, I haven’t got a cue.
Maybe ass isn’t really ass.
Maybe ass is short for something.
Assorted things
Association (home owners’)
Assembly required
Assassins (we did have some ninja furniture in a previous ad)
American Sparky snarkers
Maybe we just don’t understand this person.
[did I just matt?]
Possibly matt. I thought Sparky was trying to abbreviate “accessories” and failing, but I could be wrong.
So Sparkaphrodite just went with “ass”. Cuz why embarrass yourself in being spell-check challenged and at least try, when you can just use the all-encompassing “ass” abbreviation.
So “ass” is an all-encompassing abbreviation?
“Hi, my name is Ass. Johnson.”
“We bought balls, cues, ass. you know, the works!”
“Signed, Hugh Ja, Ass.”
I like it! Simple, easy to remember.
I’ve seen it used for “associates” way too often in my line of work. I had ass-umed he meant ass-embly. But that’s what you get when you assume.
You are probably right. I tried to spell accessories starting with ass and my brain retracted out of reach and I couldn’t use it anymore.
(I had to put a bucket over my head and sing frog kissin to coax it back out)
Asseccorieze.
There you go.
Taco, I’m reminded of…
“I don’t know where you got your susst-suh-sussistics…’
No, I don’t know why I’m reminded of that line.
I often don’t know why I do most of the things I do.
*toddles off to find more coffee slices, hears the Cap’n building the room for the corner*
It scares me more than a little that I, also, just assumed Sparky used “ass” to be a short form of “accessories”, not considering the spelling.
HELP ME! I’M SPARKIFYING!!!
I don’ bleve I kin hang witchu guys no mo.
[ebay speeling corey]
Sadly, in my long long tour on eBay, far far too many people are convinced that the word is speelt “assessories” even when that misspelling either hides the auction from Search or gets the listing yanked by the listing nannies.
Much in the same way that anyone searching for flags needs must also search under “falg,” or fishing tackle requires the Boolean “(reel,real,reele)” and/or “(tackle,tackel,takel,takkel,tackl,takkle)”
Pretty much any search term with an “ie” or “ei” or “el” or “le” spelling needs that Boolean “or” search. <sigh>
[/corey]
[corey]I think it’s “assorted” in some sparkified form. And while it could have been a matt, OMV you’d have needed to sound a bit more self-righteous and affronted. It came off as more of a corey to me.[/corey]
EDIT: And apparently I fail at nesting…
That’s OK, we can just cuddle.
……aaaaaaaaanddd now the corner needs a room……
Be careful, Taco, cuddling creates friction and I’ve heard those bombdudes have hair-trigger fuses sometimes…
The only time one need worry about EOD types is if you see one running.
And you better pray you catch up to them…
“…two ques and balls and rack included.” Ques? I thought tees go with asses.
I think he’s including the ques so we can ask “WTF?” in multiple languages.
[OT] Anyone else being told they don’t have access to edit their own comments?
Edit: Edit attempt.
Huh… and now it’s working. Weird.
Dammit…my “Refuse Taco All Edits” function has been disabled…again.
Sorry, dude, I was needing the laughs.
Many years ago when I first started at my present job, I was responsible for compiling a company phone directory. It was a tedious job that required me to abbreviate names, titles, etc to fit on the half sheets. Usually the thing was out of date as soon as it was distributed and I’d start all over again – 3 times a year. Now it’s all online. Anywhoooo…At some point one of our staff was given the glowing title “Manager of Quality Assurance” I was unaware of the change in her title and when the directory came out, she was identified as Manager of Quality Ass. Fortunately the woman had a fabulous sense of humor. She had fake business cards, certificates to hand out, and assorted fun stuff. And of course, everyone would joke about how they wanted her job. I miss her.
It is my understanding that many of the distaff set have that job title, you will pardon the expression, thrust upon them, and universally by legions of the unqualified.
Or, to paraphrase an outspoken Dame, “It’d be a lot easier if “minutemen” just all wore tricorn hats.”
I’ve got the urge to have some fake business cards printed up.
Ghostie, I want to be Quality Ass. Inspector. 8)
Cap’n,
Would that be Dame Edna Everage? ***LOVE***
Hammy and Astro, you are no strangers to the box. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Torquay!