YSaC, Vol. 1194: Fingerpaints … for when you can’t be trusted with paste.

2012 February 23

Elijah Origional Paintings— $15 apiece – $15


For sale are 3 Elijah origional fingerpaints. He loves to paint. As seen in pics are quite colorful. All measure 9 1/2″ by 6 1/8″. Will mat and frame for additional $15. Buyer will receive COA and pic of Elijah doing a painting. Have sold several in past few weeks. Feel free to e-mail with questions. Pics are of the actual paintings.

 

 

Fingerpainting — an untapped economic resource for the elderly!

That’s right — Kerry actually emailed the person who posted the ad, and it turns out that NanaSparky is selling her 4 year old grandson’s fingerpaintings.

In the green one, I see a giant crocodile eating a Raggedy Ann doll. Or maybe it’s Strawberry Shortcake. The third one looks like Georgia O’Keefe sat on it.

Thanks, Kerry!

111 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 February 23
    LimeLolly permalink

    I lean towards ‘that’s kind of awesome’.

    A four year old that stands still long enough to paint… more than once! I could be kind of jealous, though.

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 February 23
      CapnMac permalink

      Either that, or, more probably, CPS needs to be called for Nana leaving Eli’ in the paint all the fool time.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        LimeLolly permalink

        I always get “origional” after a couple margeritas.

        Shame on Grandma!

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          I can’t get Origional anymore, I already had it when I was five.

          Adores: 5
  2. 2012 February 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    My, my, m I mean no, not mine.
    Had a flashback from when I was 3.
    Some children are so priveledged. I didn’t get to fingerpaint until I was 5.
    Aaah, memories…

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      I didn’t get to eat paste until I was 7 as well. I was the only one that got in trouble for it.
      The other kids would eat paste, so I thought I would try it.
      The other kids wouldn’t get in trouble, but as soon as I tried to put some in my mouth, the teacher would shake her finger at me and say, “Stop that, no.”

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 23
        Windrose permalink

        When did you change your name from no to One?

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23
          One Moving Violation permalink

          I’m sorry, I’m dyslexic.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23
          Windrose permalink

          Me, too! We should untie!

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23

          The jerk who made the word ‘dyslexia’ so complicated is probably the same guy who put an “s” in lisp.

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 23
          no, Moving Violation permalink

          Gater id

          Adores: 1
  3. 2012 February 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    The certificate of authenticity is what makes this. For real.

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 February 23
      Lou Stool permalink

      The COA is probably written in that classic Grandma chickenscratch on the back of the paper you get with a botttle of pills.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 February 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Is Nonna Sparque a Notary, too?

        Adores: 3
  4. 2012 February 23

    I had to content myself with eating glue until well into my kindergarten years.

    I haz a jealous.

    And a tic.

    Adores: 4
  5. 2012 February 23

    *Eats one of every flavor jello shot*

    *barfs on floor*

    *Arrested for forging an Elijah Origional*

    Adores: 21
    • 2012 February 23

      Bad puppy! No COA for you!

      Adores: 4
    • 2012 February 23

      It’s been done.

      http://www.odditycentral.com/videos/artists-vomit-painting-may-cause-you-to-puke.html

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 23

        Damn. Beat me to it, Ghostie.

        Adores: 3
      • 2012 February 23

        I am not clicking on that link.

        Huh-uh.

        Not no way.

        Not no how.

        *hides under bed with fluffy pillow*

        Adores: 8
        • 2012 February 23

          That’s a good policy for everyone to follow.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23
          ArtsyComputerGeek permalink

          I’m right there with you CJ. Now if only there was some way to erase that from my mind.

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        no, Moving Violation permalink

        New series on the telly I’m not going to watch.

        My name is Hurl

        Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 23
        ArtsyComputerGeek permalink

        OK … I’m going to have to change my name. This is too gross to even think about.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23

          There’s a dude who shoots paint enemas out his arse as well. Talk about art being what you can get away with…

          Adores: 0
      • 2012 February 23
        Tankerbell permalink

        Ain’t no power in the ‘verse can get me to click that link. Or bleach the mind pitchers out.

        Adores: 1
  6. 2012 February 23

    Unless Nana Sparkles’ grandson is some species of ape, I’m not interested.

    Adores: 4
  7. 2012 February 23

    *Tilts head*

    *Squints*

    *Tilts head and squints*

    All right, I don’t get it. All I’m seeing is breasts in those paintings.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 February 23

      Ooo, I love chicken!

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        Brer Fox permalink

        Chicken? Where?

        *licks chops*

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          Stay out of the hen house, Brer. The girls ain’t workin’ tonight.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23
          Brer Fox permalink

          *pout*

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 23
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      Hey! When did Taco Magic become Tasty Steaks? Did I miss another meeting?

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 23

        *Waves hand*

        These are not the tasty steaks you are looking for.

        Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 23
          valarie permalink

          Don’t play your Jersey cow mind tricks on me.

          Adores: 9
        • 2012 February 23
          mud "" slicker permalink

          These are not the tasty steaks you are looking for.

          Yeah, that’s what all the boys say….

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 23
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Taco’s steaks bring all the boys to the yard.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          *SNAP*

          *JINGLY JINGLY JINGLY*

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23

          If y’all are going to keep encouraging him, I’m going to go lock up all the condiments so he doesn’t get any bright ideas.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 23
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Lock up the condiments!!! Lock up ALL the condiments!!!!!!!

          (and I say that with great relish)

          8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23

          I think I’ll lock the pudding vault while I’m at it, just to be safe.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Now, don’t be so hasty. You know that condiments save lives.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          That’s easy for you to say, fm – you weren’t here for the Salsa & Sour Cream Debacle.

          :shudders:

          I still have nightmares.

          Adores: 3
  8. 2012 February 23

    Elijah was awesome in Lord of the Rings, but I must say his art is overrated.

    Adores: 7
  9. 2012 February 23

    So… how much Keefe is in that painting?

    Miles O’Keefe.

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 February 23
      mud "" slicker permalink

      That dangling part looks more like Kiefer Sutherland.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 February 23
        CapnMac permalink

        If you try to download bootleg Pudding Fire songs, do you get Kiefer dangle pics instead?

        Adores: 0
      • 2012 February 23
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        I think the dangling part looks more like Dick Van Dyke.

        Adores: 0
        • 2012 February 23
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I thought he preferred to be called Dick Van Gogh…..

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        Tankerbell permalink

        Mudsy, how do you know what Keifer Sutherland’s danglies look like?

        Adores: 0
    • 2012 February 23

      Queef painting?

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Seriously, I was waiting all day for someone to post that. And lo and behold! look who came up with it. Surprise, surprise.

        *puppy gets a belly rub*

        :D

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23

          *wags*

          Adores: 0
      • 2012 February 23
        Tankerbell permalink

        Hammy, I coulda lived perfectly happily forever never having read that.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          Would you like the video instead?

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23
          Tankerbell permalink

          NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

          Adores: 1
  10. 2012 February 23
    funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

    Ew. What’s bad is pic #2 is the same colors and print as the fabric of my old couch.

    *hawk* *blurp!*

    Hey! It’s a Funky Monkey original/origional/ori-anal! Who wants to make an offer!

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 23
      valarie permalink

      Mmmm…I’d rather go with “Cotton Candy Smothers a Clementine”. But feel free to turn your couch on its side, remove the back cushions, and send a photo.

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 February 23
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        I got rid of that couch almost 10 years ago. The, er, aroma was taking over the house.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23

          You could’ve sold it as a $200 dog chew!

          Adores: 0
  11. 2012 February 23
    camille permalink

    I actually kind of like these, at least as compared to “Rocket Eye Monster.”

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 February 23

      That’s like saying diarrhea is preferable to projectile vomiting.

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 February 23
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Oooh! Fun with SAT analogy questions….

        42.) Diarrhea is similar to projectile vomiting like..

        0 a. Volcanoes are similar to whirlpools

        0 b. Sunsets are similar to sunrises

        0 c. Craigslist is similar to bathroom graffiti

        Adores: 10
      • 2012 February 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, if Granny can get $15 for framing the diaper afterward . . .

        Adores: 3
    • 2012 February 23
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      I bet this is how the rocket eye monster and Odin sculpture artists got their start.

      Nanas everywhere: Please stop encouraging this. You don’t have to TELL the grandbabbies that their projects suck, you just don’t have to heap so much praise on them. Stop it. Just. Stop. For the love of Jebus, please.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 23
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Yeah, I hear ya fm….

        These paintings look like a nearsighted monkey could have painted them…

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 23
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          What’s with the prejudice and hate?! Why!

          Stop the hate! LOVE YOUR MONKEY!

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I mean, OTHER near-sighted monkeys. You know…the ones over THERE. In the Old World.

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 February 23

          Like Monkey Magoo.

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 February 23
      valarie permalink

      Oh, drat. The link was supposed to be her “art therapy” segment. Hello, assisted living, I’m on my way over.

      Adores: 1
  12. 2012 February 23
    kelli permalink

    Elijah: Play trucks gamma?
    Grandma Sparky: No, you need to keep fingerpainting, Grandma needs bingo money.

    Adores: 14
    • 2012 February 23
      valarie permalink

      So sad. Soon she’ll recruit all his preschool friends and have them working long hours just to fuel her economic needs. A veritable sweatshop in the making.

      Adores: 6
    • 2012 February 23
      valarie permalink

      Wait! 9 1/2″ by 6 1/8″?
      She gave poor Elijah a half a sheet of paper?

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 23
        kelli permalink

        Standard paper size is 8.5 x 11 inches, so I’m thinking
        Grandma found some irregulars at a paper outlet store.

        Adores: 0
        • 2012 February 23

          It could also be from some sort of unlined notepad.

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 February 23
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I think it’s from a prescription pad grammy nicked from the infirmary.

          Adores: 4
  13. 2012 February 23

    *discreetly hands her son a bottle of paint*

    What a silly idea! Very silly!

    >.>

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 23
      Windrose permalink

      Looking forward to the Baby Lyle originals!

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 23

      Yes… silly.

      :quietly covers kitchen floor in paper and dips cats in paint:

      Adores: 17
      • 2012 February 23
        valarie permalink

        I’ll get some bandages ready for you.

        Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 23
        kelli permalink

        Ghostie, have you read Why Cats Paint?

        Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 23

          No, is it because they have trouble expressing themselves through interpretive dance?

          Adores: 17
        • 2012 February 23

          My cat has adopted song as his preferred medium of self-expression.

          Adores: 5
      • 2012 February 23

        Totally…why anyone would consider doing this is beyond me.

        *feeds cat multi-colored ribbon and waits*

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I’ve got two cocker spaniels and a 128 color box of crayolas. I’m sure the dogs have a passing interest in modern art.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Grampdaddy: I refer you to my comment on yesterday’s post. Housepets + crayons = brightly colored deposits in the yard / litterbox.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 23

          You should use those glitter crayons.

          When the sun hits the front lawn just right…

          Adores: 4
    • 2012 February 23
      ArtsyComputerGeek permalink

      SisterLyle — you try that with your brother. It might be interesting or it might be scary.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2012 February 23
    Ralph permalink

    If those were painted by the origional Elijah, they’re remarkably well preserved since the 9th century B.C.

    Adores: 8
  15. 2012 February 23

    ghostie, be gentle with OMV in the box today. It’s not his first time, but, you know, ninjas.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 23

      You know me, Mama Windy – I’m a perfect little angel.

      On a completely unrelated matter; does anyone know where I can find twenty gallons of flan, an ostrich, and some arm floaties?

      Adores: 10
      • 2012 February 23

        Try Craigslist.

        Adores: 7
        • 2012 February 23

          I tried but my ad keeps getting flagged. And after I specifically wrote “DON’T FLAG ME!” on the top, too.

          Adores: 7
      • 2012 February 23
        kelli permalink

        Not in my closet. Nope.

        Adores: 5
      • 2012 February 23
        Windrose permalink

        Would you settle for a gallon of bean dip, a severly plucked cockatiel, and some Keep America Beautiful pamphlets?

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          Can the cockatiel whistle a medley of the Beatles’ greatest hits?

          Adores: 2
  16. 2012 February 23

    I think Ms. O’Keefe was doing a lot more than just sitting on that piece of paper. I may also have left a letter out of “sitting”.

    Adores: 1
  17. 2012 February 23
    mud "" slicker permalink

    This could only be improved upon if it came in the mail smelling of moth balls!

    Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 23

      And if it was my Gramma, wrapped in several layers of paper towel, stuffed inside an old bread bag, and held shut with tied-together rubber bands and old twist-ties. Gramma was a saver.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 23
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Are you my long lost sister?

        *Reminds me of the documentary Catfish where nutty mama sent paintings to NYC with rolls of paper towels as cushioning. But I digress….

        Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 23
      CapnMac permalink

      Wait, it did what in the camphor-scented post?

      Adores: 1
  18. 2012 February 23
    CapnMac permalink

    Is “Elijah” yet another prophet of the Orii?

    Who knew that there was that much cultural immersion into SG-1?

    Speaking of, somebody ought tell Nana Spark that Harry Dean Anderson never has to fingerpaint, since he can create a full set of sable brushes and oil paint from nothing more than a handful of kibble, a paperclip, an empty Bic lighter, and pocket lint.

    Now, if Ms Tapping wanted to play in the paint with me, well . . . (as long as no Abnormals are involved).

    I just interviewed for a job at the other end of a 90 mile round-trip commute.

    Cheese is good.

    Møos are Big.

    [¡EXPELTIVE!] You cannot unthink “nickleback cover band” the horror the horror . . .

    Adores: 3
  19. 2012 February 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Them fingerpainters

    How ’bout them fingerpainters
    aint they quaint?
    Stickin’ they fingers in that paint.
    Paintin with an index
    paintin with a pinky,
    Where’d ya get the brown paint?
    It’s kinda stinky.
    Lookit them fingerpainters, aint they young?
    Tasting those fingerpaints on there tongue.
    All the little fingerpainters in the school.
    Momma finding fingerpaints on thier stool.
    How to be a fingerpainter? no way to fudge it.
    Stick your finger in some paint,
    Go ahead and touch it.

    Adores: 7
  20. 2012 February 23

    Hmph.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 February 23
      kelli permalink

      So are those your paintings, Astro? hmmm?

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 February 23

      Unless GrannyAstro has been saving up your artwork, it’s probably not you.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 February 23
        Tankerbell permalink

        Yeah, but I just got a great idea! If we put paint into Astro’s horn, and then he plays “Stars and Stripes Forever…”

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 23

          Perv…

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 February 23

        My grandmother has not been among the living for a very long time, so that’s not really possible.
        Well, the other one’s still around, but she lives in Tennessee.
        I highly doubt they have things like art in Tennessee.
        And The Stars and Stripes Forever is, much like The Washington Post, only to be used to annoy the ever-living daylights out of my section leader.

        Adores: 3
  21. 2012 February 24
    Windrose permalink

    One and ghostie, please accept this expression of our eternal regard for your tip-top sense of humor. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Elijah Blue!

    Adores: 0

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