YSaC, Vol. 1195: I guess you’d better go catch it!

2012 February 24

Bathtub


########## must take all motor ran when taken out

So, you took the motor out and it ran away; is that what happened?
Wait.. why was there a motor in the bathtub?
Wait.. where’s the bathtub? Did it run away too?
Wait.. what are all these pictures of lumber for? Is the motor under the lumber? Or the bathtub?
Wait… what?

Thanks for the weird, Kathryn!

109 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 February 24

    Well, this post is a wash.

    Adores: 11
  2. 2012 February 24
    Rabbit Roulette permalink

    I’m going to assume they mean a Jacuzzi tub. I can see a faucet and one corner of the thing, and the tubing wrapped around the bottom is probably for the jets. I don’t see a price anywhere. Are they giving away the whole scrap heap, or trying to sell it? If they want money they should have at least excavated the poor thing and wiped off the worst of the dirt. There is a standing joke in our house that the cleanest and best organized an item will ever be is when we are trying to sell it.

    Adores: 8
  3. 2012 February 24

    *points*

    That tub has a woody!

    Adores: 10
    • 2012 February 24

      And a knob!

      No, wait – it has two knobs! And they could use a good polishing.

      I’ll go ahead and slice up some fresh coffee for the corner.

      Adores: 9
      • 2012 February 24
        Lou Stool permalink

        And if you look closely, it comes with some rubbers. (Slide over, Ghostie. We may be crowded in the corner today)

        Adores: 3
      • 2012 February 24
        mud "" slicker permalink

        But it’s missing the motor. And if you don’t have the motor, then what good is a woody, two knobs, [Oxford comma!] and some rubbers?

        Adores: 5
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Obviously needs to have it’s tubes cleaned.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24
          Not-a-[censored] Lion permalink

          Mumsey won’t let me hang out with you guys if you keep talking like that.
          I’m quite impressionable at this age.*

          *this may not be true.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 24

          Looks like we’ve corrupted another minor! Who has the scorecard? Mine reads “avocado porcupine” but I think the catulator has been at it again.

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 24
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Mine says “Beauty and youth are fleeting, but Sparky is forever”.

          Wait, I think that’s my fortune cookie.

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 24
          Tankerbell permalink

          Funky e, what beauty and youth are doing is FLEEING. From Sparky’s Shed of Pornographic Bath Fixtures n’ Crap.

          Adores: 6
    • 2012 February 24
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      I won’t tell you what I thought the faucet and two knobs were at first glance.

      *sigh*

      I think I need help.

      PS: I was typing mine as you were typing yours, Ghostie. Maybe we BOTH need help. 🙂

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 24

        Or I can go get my blender and we can make banana “smoothies” and giggle at the photos.

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 24
          Kaziganthi permalink

          Is there any Captain Morgan in those smoothies? If there is then count me in!

          Adores: 3
  4. 2012 February 24

    So, wood this mean the tub is planking?

    Adores: 10
  5. 2012 February 24

    Yeah, what dan said.

    Adores: 5
  6. 2012 February 24

    Bathtub.

    *Snaps fingers*

    You dig?

    Adores: 6
  7. 2012 February 24
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Woody planky, you’re the one.
    You make bath time so much fun.

    Adores: 10
  8. 2012 February 24

    Bathtub

    —————————————-

    I am selling one bathtub and a do-it-yourself diving board kit for the bathtub.

    Adores: 10
  9. 2012 February 24
    Digitalaxis permalink

    *some dissembly required

    Adores: 9
  10. 2012 February 24

    Ahhh, nothing like lowering your naked body into a hot, relaxing bath…

    OWWW, splinters!

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 February 24

      Those aren’t splinters, it’s aggressive exfoliation.

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        “Aggressive Exfoliation” is IF’s “Savage Garden” tribute band.

        Adores: 8
  11. 2012 February 24
    mud "" slicker permalink

    See people!

    This is what happens when DIY backyard hot tub projects go terribly awry [as opposed to “a rye” which would make it a sammich]

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 February 24

      A sandwich would be much preferable to this pile of home improvement fail.

      Adores: 4
  12. 2012 February 24

    So… do the wire spools come with the tub? How about the tires?

    What? Why am I asking?

    You’ve never seen my large collection of electric go-tubs, have you.

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 February 24
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I don’t think it would detract at all if you parked it next to your winter bagel. Your neighbors will be sure to be contacting you to express their awe [awwwww].

      Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 24
      Tankerbell permalink

      Enjoying fabulous visual of Tasty Steaks, naked but tastefully enbubbled, driving around town in his go-tub. Which, of course, has a Ron Paul ’12 bumper sticker on the back.

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 February 24

        It’s like Tankerbell lives in my neighborhood or something.

        Adores: 7
        • 2012 February 24

          Have you been seeing a large winged tank in a squirrel costume lurking under your windows?

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Are ‘Tasty Steaks” also known as “Tube Steaks”?, ‘cuz I don’t want to be picturing Taco’s “Tube Steak” bubbling around town.

        Probably better if you don’t comment, Sister Lyle…

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          “Tasty Stakes” are for vampires. “Tasty Stakes with Sprinkles” are for those vampires.

          I will refrain from commenting on Taco’s tube steak….

          (so glad YOU brought that up Gramps)

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I deny having any responsibility for it being up – absolutely none.

          None, none, none, none…………………………………………………………..none.

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          This must be Poor Choice of Words Friday.

          Carry on….

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          Tankerbell permalink

          ^^^totally having long-standing crush on Grampdaddy renewed

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          Rabbit Roulette permalink

          At Gramp
          Up. Heh, heh, heh

          Yeah, now I have Bevis and Butthead laughter in my head. That makes for a weird earworm.

          Adores: 1
  13. 2012 February 24
    LimeLolly permalink

    motor ran when taken out

    Dude has some ‘interesting’ dating habits.

    Adores: 19
    • 2012 February 24
      Windrose permalink

      NEARLY a sinus enema, LL! 8)

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 24
        LimeLolly permalink

        Nearly? I’m doing it wrong.

        Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24
      One Moving Violation permalink

      No wonder the motor ran, Sparky’s idea of a date involves goin’ out back of the shed.

      Adores: 6
  14. 2012 February 24

    But the motor came back the very next day…

    Adores: 8
  15. 2012 February 24
    Grampdaddy permalink

    You know, it really is terribly sad to see how some things are treated. To be tossed out just because you’ve gotten old and you just can’t pump as long or as well as you used to. To be discarded because your spigot drips and your knobs aren’t polished and you’ve got stains on your marble – it’s a travertine, I tell you!

    With just a little love, care, and understanding – a little work on the old plumbing, tubes blown out, maybe reaming out the pipes – perhaps a new motor that really buzzes, and I’ll bet that old spigot could spray across the tub again!

    (What flavor coffee slices are we having over here today?)

    Adores: 22
    • 2012 February 24
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Feeling a little like a rusty spigot today Gramps?

      I think Cialis has something to do with making old tubs young again. They keep putting them in their commercials.

      Adores: 8
      • 2012 February 24
        Windrose permalink

        Grampdaddy, I am going to obtain that lumber so I can build you many doors!

        Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Darn it!, Mudsy – that’s the problem. I’ve been trying “Lime-Away”…

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 24

          Maybe you just need to jiggle the handle.

          Adores: 10
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          No, no, no. You needed to use a CLR and Drano Daiquiri. With a shot of Lime-a-Way on the side.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          LimeLolly permalink

          “Lime-a-Way”

          I feel like y’all are taking my name in vain.

          Don’t make me smite you.

          Adores: 10
        • 2012 February 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          LL – would you have been: offended if I had said:

          Darn it!, Mudsy – that’s the problem. I’ve been trying “Lime-Lolly”…

          Just askin’…

          (subsequent edit) I have no idea where the extra colon came from.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24

          Too much bran in the diet, maybe?

          Adores: 7
        • 2012 February 24
          LimeLolly permalink

          Eh… I might have been offended, but the feeling passed. 8)

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          No, no, no. Don’t be lumping me into that “y’all” category. You read what I wrote all wrong LL (not like some* people). It’s:

          Lime-a-Way (meaning, you always have a solution)

          NOT

          Lime-Away (meaning, get thee behind me!)

          *glaring at the grumpy old guy in the corner

          😉

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 24
          One Moving Violation permalink

          LL, I’ll consider myself smitten.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 February 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          *glaring at the grumpy old guy in the corner

          *Shaking cane* “Get outa my corner, ya young whippersnapper! Can’t ya see I’m tryin’ to use Lime-Lolly.” *wanders off muttering “now where did that cute little monkey go…”*

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 24
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          *hides in corner under blankie, shaking*

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          *curls up with blanket and heating pad*

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          *quietly removes mirror from Grampdaddy’s corner*

          Adores: 5
  16. 2012 February 24
    Windrose permalink

    That’s a nice shed in the side yard, there. I’ve heard that if you have a really good tool, you want to build a sturdy shed over it. You know, I didn’t care for the mint coffee slices the first time, but they seem to have grown on me.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24
      Grampdaddy permalink

      Be sure you use bricks. I heard about being built like a brick shed-house.

      Adores: 6
    • 2012 February 24
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I’m positive that old shed comes with its own chicken wire.

      *curb appeal*

      Adores: 2
  17. 2012 February 24
    One Moving Violation permalink

    If you have a pile of lumber and some spools of wire behind your shed,
    and you call it a bathtub,
    You might be a Sparky.

    If you take a picture of an item but cover it up with lumber so prospectives can’t see it,
    You might be a Sparky.

    *canned laughter*

    If you can’ t write a craigslist ad without proper syntax, context, grammar, and spelling,
    You might be a Sparky.

    Adores: 3
  18. 2012 February 24

    First the ferrets, then the cat, now the dog. I think the carpet in the box is a total loss. Enjoy your day!

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24

      That fire wasn’t my fault, the cockatiel was all hopped up on chocolate.

      I don’t think the chandaleer shandylear ceiling light fixture will ever be the same again.

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 February 24
        mud "" slicker permalink

        You mean this cockatoo?

        http://i.imgur.com/VtJkg.jpg

        8)

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          Grampdaddy permalink

          GC – Goes with that old saying, “A bird in chocolate is worth two, ah, two in, umm, two on Lionel Richie.”

          (Mom! Mom! – Can I lick the bird? Please let me lick your bird, OK?)

          *This seems to have gone horribly wrong*

          Adores: 8
      • 2012 February 24
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Y’all ain’t seen nothing til you see the mess a monkey can make in a box!

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Yes, but rarely does that mess remain just in the box.

          *fling the poo. fling ALL of the poo!*

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          I assumed that’s what the drain in the floor was for.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24

          That’s not a drain, that’s the results of the last Tacosplosion.

          Adores: 4
    • 2012 February 24

      We’ll just redo the floor in all of that plywood from Sparky’s bathtub.

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24

      *Herk, herk*

      Where would you like me to “hang” the Elijah knockoffs?

      Adores: 2
  19. 2012 February 24

    Hey Diddle Diddle
    A tub in the middle
    Of messiness beyond all borders
    The Sparky did post
    Trying to make the most
    Of the fact that his tub apparently ran away with a motor.

    Adores: 6
  20. 2012 February 24
    MandaB permalink

    And now it’s time for YSaC haiku:

    Bathtub must take all,
    Motor ran when taken out,
    #####.

    Huh…that one pretty much wrote itself.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 February 24
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I love the last line. It speaks to me!

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        It was far more moving before it was translated – it read:

        @@@@@

        Adores: 5
        • 2012 February 24
          One Moving Violation permalink

          I don’t know about that.
          Poundpoundpoundpoundpound.
          Better than atatatatat any day.

          Adores: 1
    • 2012 February 24
      Tankerbell permalink

      *snaps fingers, french inhales from clove cigarette

      That’s gone, man.

      Adores: 3
  21. 2012 February 24
    CatatonicBug permalink

    I really don’t see the point of this post… It’s a jet tub, so it has a motor that worked well when the tub was removed from the house. The stuff piled on top of it is NOT lumber, its the kit of tub-surrounding parts (notice they all match the surface pattern of the tub itself) with lots of trim pieces. It’s really not all that dirty, just a creamy marble color. The only problem I see is that there’s no price on it.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24

      CB gets the Point of Clarity Award for today…in a nice matte finish. 🙂

      Adores: 9
      • 2012 February 24
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Hey Archie, could you throw in a couple of Corey tags along with CB’s award?

        Thank you.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Yes, yes.! The ONLY thing I see wrong with it is that there is no price on it. I knew it was something. One of those annoying tiny details that would have awakened me around 3:05am when clarity holds no bounds.

          The boards must be covering the travertine tiles as well…

          Adores: 4
      • 2012 February 24
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Until you smarter folks pointed out the hoses on the bottom and I finally spotted the faucet and knobs, I really didn’t know what I was looking at. Regardless, why would someone not clean up and spiffy up something if they really want to get rid of it?

        Adores: 3
    • 2012 February 24

      To add, lots of tubs have need of several hundred feet of industrial grade wire in order for proper performance. The tires here are also extremely important as they are used in the yearly maintenance of the product and to assure even heating of the element. The chemical spray bottle is probably an attempt to provide the customer with a “do it yourself” alternative to replacing the motor. Very considerate of the seller, really.

      The rusted fence is being sold separately.

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 24

        I also find the sentence:

        must take all motor ran when taken out

        to be beyond all reproach.

        Adores: 5
    • 2012 February 24
      Tankerbell permalink

      must take all

      That’s what he said. Ooh, looky. Mint coffee slices.

      Adores: 4
    • 2012 February 24

      *waves at Matt*

      Hi Matt! You catatonic bug you!

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 February 24
        Tankerbell permalink

        Cap, I single-handedly skew that statistic by a lot, because I have one of these tubs, and I use mine almost every night. I do not, however, use the jets much. So maybe that’s the statistic. But mine IS in front of a window and DOES take all the hot water and DOES get cold fast and IS louder than a horny elk on a Harley with a vuvuzela.

        Edit: damn nesting. This really should be after capn’s comment. Windy, can u fix nesting? Cupholders of birdseed if u can…

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 24

          horny elk with a vuvuzela

          THE IMAGE IS IN MY BRAIN!

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 February 24
          CapnMac permalink

          Nope, the data have been collected, rejected, and retaken by not quite a dozen, still dumbfounded, agencies.

          Lifetime use average, all uses, is 3.

          The 1SD is something like 2 orders of magnitude (mean is over a thousand on some surveys), to put that average in perspective.

          Some of these tubs in ‘entry-level’ and ‘mid-range’ tract-built subdivisions will go 3 or 4 owners between uses.

          One more reason that house design ought not be left to the minimum-wage drafters in tract builder offices.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 February 24
          Tankerbell permalink

          That is amazing. I guess that’s another way I’m weird. I loooooove bubble baths. I had no idea nobody else takes baths anymore. No wonder those multi-nozzle showers are getting so popular.

          Oh, and by the way, you are also right about what a pain these tubs are to clean.

          But I bought my house, in large part, because of it. I love it. Does this mean I will be purchasing Sparky’s Tub of Mystery? It does not.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 February 24
          Windrose permalink

          Tankgirl, I have yet to figure out a way to do this. I will experiment this evening and see what happens.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 February 24
          Rabbit Roulette permalink

          Tank, I remember seeing an episode of “How Clean Is Your House?” where they showed an easy way to clean and sanitize the Jacuzzi jets, but I don’t remember what they used. You might be able to find it on YouTube or something. Considering they use a lot of lemons and vinegar on their show I’m sure it is something simple and non-toxic.

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 February 24
      CapnMac permalink

      Dang it! CatonicBug stole all my [matt] on this (and most of the [corey] too).

      Do have some [corey] left, though <pauses to let all readers groan>

      All those spiffy, ludicrously expensive, and ever-so-required-by-RE-types tubs have a fascinating statistic. The average–yes average number of lifetime uses of those tubs is 3 (three–not five, sire–but three).

      But, since “everybody else does it” houses–especially tract houses–are doomed to be afflicted of these, ah, amenities.

      The low number of uses has a huge number of causal factors. Lead of which is that these tubs are nearly invariably in the worst design placement possible. Like in front of a six foot wide, five foot tall, window facing most of the neighborhood’s school children, lechers, churches and the like (and with almost no ability to be sensibly given a shade, curtains, or similar privacy.

      Further, most take an entire water heater’s supply of hot water to fill–which becomes an exercise in futility, as the tubs are never insulated enough to hold that heat, so the water heater is constantly in need to keep warm water in the tub, meaning no hot water for anyone else in the house.

      The motors used to power the air-jets/water pumps on the tubs are typically about as quiet in use as a jet engine repair facility.

      All this is after the 20-40 minutes it takes to fill the tub from the 3/8″ plumbing supply connected to the faucets, too.

      Lastly, almost none have good ingress/egress design at all (think ice-skating, in March, on stilts, while impaired and distracted).

      All of which is probably a net “good” in that easily half of the tubs installed have at least one major installation defect (bad wiring; bad plumbing; poor/no support).

      These tubs are also a major pain to keep clean (ingress/egress again) unless a person has 6 or 8 foot long arms, or some sort of trapeze rigging in the bathroom.

      But, they “look” pretty.

      Sigh.
      [/corey]

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 February 24

        Ok, you’ve sold me on it. How much to have you install one in my house?

        Cut every corner if you need to.

        Adores: 3
      • 2012 February 24
        Rabbit Roulette permalink

        Our tub doesn’t have the jets, but everything else applies. It has seen more use housing puppies, ferrets and bunnies than actually holding water for a bath. Manufactured houses are as bad as tract houses for truncated corners. I would be happier if we could move it away from the window and add foam insulation to the bottom. Considering the plastic it is made of has already started to discolor, it probably isn’t worth the effort, though.

        Adores: 6
      • 2012 February 24
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        “ice-skating, in March, on stilts, while impaired and distracted”

        I knew it! Hubby DID tape and youtube our honeymoon! He told me that blinking light was the battery going out in the smoke detector!

        Adores: 7
    • 2012 February 24
      One Moving Violation permalink

      We are equal opportunity snarkers here.
      I even snark about the guy that broke into my pick-up.
      Did he steal good stuff like ps2 games or my tools or my really good jumper cables? No.
      He stole my ash tray and my rubber irrigation boots.

      Sparkies are everywhere.

      *message to cat-bug*

      Adores: 5
  22. 2012 February 24
    Ralph permalink

    FYI: bathtubs with motors.
    /Corey

    Adores: 2
  23. 2012 February 24
    Ralph permalink

    Rub a dub dub,

    A Sparkified tub,

    The motor was working I see. 

    It was butchered and piled

    When Sparky restyled;

    Now on craigslist, hopefully free.

    Adores: 9
  24. 2012 February 24

    This post isn’t even worth the effort to snark.

    Speaking of whales…

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 February 24
      LimeLolly permalink

      I CAN SPEAK WHALE!!!

      HHOOOOWWWW AAAAAARRRREEEEE YYYOOOOOUUUU TOOOODDDDAAAYYY??!?

      Adores: 5
  25. 2012 February 25
    Ralph permalink

    Related news?

    Adores: 0
  26. 2012 February 25

    *looks at floor of box*
    *looks atchandaleer shandylear ceiling light fixture*
    *presses button to turn box 90 degrees*
    Ah, that’s better. Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch. Hope you are feeling better this morning.

    Good Morning, Jacuzzi University!

    Adores: 1

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