Cheap photographer
IM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE MY FAMILY PICTURE. SO I CAN PASS OUT TO MY FAMILY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
Let’s see. What can Sparky here say? We need something inspirational, yet plain-spoken, heartfelt, but majestic, simple, yet deep. Something along the lines of, “Hey there family! I got you these…” *thump*
Thanks for the post, Mike!
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And, tonite, on the Halmark channel for Zomb
the tragic story of how Lennnnuugh was finally able to overcome his speech impediment and express to his family his need for “Brraaaiii-<kaBoom!!”> before passing out to the thereafter.
TV-MA LSVGZ
Maybe he can use the same guy that photographed the Narcoleptics Anonymous annual BBQ and Burn Treatment gathering.
Oh, the horror!
If she wants to pass out laughing, I can show her my family photo album free of charge. Why oh why the plaid pants, Mom?
Plaid Pants is IF’s Sinead O’Connor tribute band.
Maybe THEN they’ll realize how cruel it was to force Sparky to stay awake until he found a photographer…
I’m a cheap
datephotographer.Is that a Nikon in your pocket, or are you just happy to stalk me?
That’s just my zoom lens…
I’m sure you tell that to all the girls…
Get a room you two! Preferably one with a corner!
AFTERTHOUGHT: A room without a corner would be pretty silly. Unless it was a round room. You know, one of those rooms where you put a blonde and tell her there’s a penny in the corner?
*walks off, mumbling and rambling to self*
“blonde rooms, pennies with corners, do I need to get my script filled again?”
Room Without Corners is IF’s Three-Doors-Down smooth jazz cover band.
A room without a corner? You mean like the Oval Office? Hmm, the possibilities….
Round rooms do have corners, an upper one around the ceiling and one around the floor.
So, do I hang around the upper corner or lay around the lower?
*Puts OMV into the giant gerbil ball*
Nothing to see here, folks.
No, no, Taco. You’re confused. Room Without Corners is my A Perfect Circle cover band.
HELP! THE STAIRS! THUMP THUMp THUmp THump Thump thump. owwww.
Dang, the lighting was bad. Can we haul him back to the top of the stairs, and try again?
Yeah, hold on and let me get another video camera too. We should get a shot from the bottom of the stairs while we’re at it.
You know, one of these days, I’m going to save all your lives, then you’ll feel all guilty like. Just wait and see.
The line for arse-kissing and making-it-up-to-OMV starts here.
*puts a disposable camera in to an envelope addressed to Sparky* Done.
You have to watch out for those cheap photographers since they’ll photograph pretty much anything.
Remember, when you hire a photographer you aren’t just just getting your own photographs, but those of ever person he’s photographed before you.
Ewww! Now I feel the need for photo protection.
I keep plenty in my billfold, Val. Here ya go.
*discreetly passes plastic wallet photo holders to purty purple fish*
I’ve had them a long time, hope they ain’t dried out.
*thanks the cool monkey*
*wonders about the pictures of monkey love night that were glimpsed*
What “pictures of monkey love night”? That’s a picture of my mom!!!
ghostie, thanks for being such a good sport and spending today in the box. Yay!
Yay! And I want to know where she gets her super conversion tables.
They sell them where I bought my catulator: Uncle Bubba’s Catulator Sparky Conversion Chart Check Cashing and Pawn Shop. And Bubba’s wife, LouReen, makes a mean sloppy joe. If you ask her all sweet like.
Her biscuits and gravy are pretty good, too – if you don’t mind the taste of axle grease.
Yeah, and ignore the occasional Lee Press-On Nail in the bottom of the coffee cups. They won’t hurt ya.
Just remember to get the decoder ring. It LOOKS like an onion ring, but it costs fiddy cents (which converts to three butterflies and a kibble)
WOO-HOO! I’m gonna jump on all the couches!
:thump!:
Stupid low ceilings.
I don’t know what to say either. Why pass out to your family, when you can pass out to a picture of your family. Then you don’t have to put up with “hey, you fainted” yes, I told you I was going to, or “are you all right?” no, I’m only half right, the other half is what’s left. Also, “you should lie down.” Is passing out good? “no, not really” Well, passing out caused me to lie down, let me stand up, that would be good.
Passing out in front of a nagging family does sound like a negative.
That’s why I went digital.
Well, let us know how the situation develops.
I’ll pass. Cheap person wants a cheap photographer for a cheap family. I don’t want to eat ramen noodles my entire life, I want chicken.
Cardboard cutouts of a family are a good compromise. Life-size with no dirty socks/underwear to pick up after.
And real family members rarely let you draw mustaches and eye-patches on their faces.
As a thought are we sure that Sparky is from this century? He could be from 16th Century when the stays were so tight you kept on passing out all over the place and with the added mystery of capturing peoples’ images without the use of paper and paint and brushes – the shock, forsooth, would make any gentleman pass out.
On second thoughts, he’s a dork.
Sparky’s just one of those people who thinks taking a picture will steal one’s soul… he’s preparing properly for the aftermath of the One True Family Photo.
*sneaks into Sparky’s house and ‘takes’ the family picture off the mantel*
That was easy.
Of course, geckos have naturally sticky fingers.
It only took fifteen minutes or less….
^This whole thread.
I know what to say. I just not going to say it.
NO MORE PICTURES!
If a picture is worth a kiloword,
then pictures are the end of prose.
Ever wonder why there are so many cons nowadays?
So cons are better than prose?
Oh no, cons are bad, cons are scammers, swindlers, shysters and slick willys. Cons- also preceed piracy theories.
Obviously Sparky is the rare Shouting Fainting Goat. He somehow got a hold of a computer, and instead of eating it, decided to put out the call to preserve the image and memory of the extremely endangered creatures. The fact that he doesn’t know what to say emphasises the sad, sad plight of the Shouting Fainting Goat; he doesn’t know what else is left to say about his dwindling species. Poetic, really.
On the other hand, he’s probably endangered ’cause he’s such a cheapskate.
I love the new sunroof in the baux, ghostie! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Mathew Brady!