YSaC, Vol. 1215: A Bridge To Fur.

2012 March 23

Let’s see – I don’t think we’ve pissed off PETA recently, so let’s give it a shot:

100 year Old Doug Furr End Tables – $130


The end tables are made of 100 year old Doug Furr that came from a dairy born built in 1908. They have been finished with two coats of hand rubbed oil. There are two of them one hinged with a right door, and one with a left door. The dimensions are 1′-4″ wide, 2′ deep, and 2′ tall. This handmade piece of furniture was made using modern construction techniques. They are $130 a piece or $240 for both. The overall quality of this item is superb!

One hundred year old Doug Furr? Must have grown back by now…

Douglas Fur


I have 30pcs of douglas fur that are 12″ x 3″ x 5′ they were reclaimed
from a stairway. They have black paint on each end that plained off when
run through my plainer. I am asking $3.00 per bf.

Well, there’s no way we’ll trick Douglas (so formal now) back into the shearing room a THIRD time, is there?

Free Fur Door


Fur door removed from bedroom. Measures 29 & 5/8 by 80 inches exact.

Now to be fair, fur doors are very important. You have to make sure they’re closed in case of fur. Just make sure Doug doesn’t have the key.

Thanks for the fur, sd and Erin!

80 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 March 23
    CapnMac permalink

    [tiresome corey]
    Phonetic Illiteracy has a long history; as does the linguistic practice of diminution to single syllables for common terms.

    The evergreen conifer, Pseudotsuga menziesii, named after David Douglas has vexed botanists as well as sparkii.

    Taxonomically, Mr. Douglas’ Fir is not a true member of Pinus, but a psuedo-hemlock (thus pseudotsuga).

    That “fur” (and “furr”) are phonemes to “Fir” has confused many over the generations. As has remembering the possessive form of Douglas (aka Douglass<sic>).

    There is an associated building term, referring to lightweight box framing covered in wall and ceiling finish materials, this is “furrdown.” The origins (and ‘correct’ spelling are of some debate in architectural circles. An alternate term is “soffit”–but this is incorrect without prefixing “interior” to the term. In Canadian usage, it is a “bulkhead” (aka ‘bulk’)–which is similarly flawed.

    The space created is non-structural, and is often used to conceal utilities like electrical, plumbing, ductwork, etc.

    Since this uses lightweight framing, it’s often co-mangled into “fir down” which is confusing if the framing material is actually poplar or galvanized framing.

    None of which is helped by the fact that the lumberyards sell a number of species as being “Fir” (what the Norse deity makes of that is not recorded). To the point that the structural tables actually make reference to Douglas fir equivalent, which is a number of species of framing lumber, many non-coniferous (hemlock, and No. 1, The Larch).
    [/corey]

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 March 23

      Cap’n, you are a wealth of utterly esoteric knowledge.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 March 23

        He’s also a wealth of words and phrases that I can’t understand.

        Adores: 8
        • 2012 March 23

          If I ever meet the Cap’n in person, I’m bringing along a dictionary.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 March 23
          One Moving Violation permalink

          I’m a lay man uh lei, um layman myself.

          Adores: 0
      • 2012 March 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, those of us in the Architecture trade are expected to learn things.

        Like can you use air-dried, high-moisture content, weed-grown Aspen and achieve the same strength of framing as using old-growth, kiln-dried, all-heartwood Spruce (or sugar pine). Or whether a specific SYP (southern yellow pine) equivalent exists for DF-rated construction specifications.

        And, while sitting in class, all sorts of triva winds up in the curricula, Like Davy Douglass was of a taxonomic bent, and lubbed him some trees.

        Or some such similar.

        Now, I must back to ciphering masonry, ere I can leave early today.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          Brer Fox permalink

          “cyphering”
          *sigh*fur.
          Never mind me, I’m just pining fur the furords.

          Adores: 3
    • 2012 March 23
      Digitalaxis permalink

      It is probably worth noting that there are two distinct genus of plants; one (in the family Apiaceae) for killing Socrates; one (Pinaceae) for beaning your little brother with pinecones.

      And now, Number One: The Larch. The Larch

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 March 23
        mud "" slicker permalink

        A larch by any any other name would kill smell as sweet.

        Adores: 0
        • 2012 March 23
          One Moving Violation permalink

          A douglas by any other name would still be woody.

          Adores: 1
  2. 2012 March 23

    That fur door appears to be suffering from an advanced case of door-pattern baldness.

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 March 23
      valarie permalink

      Ah, it got a Brazilian mahogany finish. (Yes, corner, I’m coming)

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 March 23
        Kaziganthi permalink

        You took mine!

        I’ll say it anyway: I like my doors like I like my walls, with that smooth Brazilian feel.
        Oh, the corner has smooth Brazilian walls…

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 March 23

          Good thing Bridgete’s not here, she might get mad if she saw everyone rubbing against the Brazilian.

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23
      Brer Fox permalink

      I have a fur door, it’s in the back, and no, you can’t touch it.

      Adores: 5
    • 2012 March 23

      it’s shedding

      Adores: 1
  3. 2012 March 23
    valarie permalink

    A fur door, hmm.
    It would complete my fantasy shag-carpeted retro room so nicely.
    (It has yet to be born built)

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 March 23

      The fur end tables would perfect it.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 March 23
        valarie permalink

        That’s what I’m thinking. And a big bottle of Claritin for all the dust and dander.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          Kaziganthi permalink

          Hmmm, furry fantasies?

          Adores: 0
  4. 2012 March 23
    camille permalink

    Fur sure.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 March 23
      Windrose permalink

      Fur out.

      Adores: 3
    • 2012 March 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Fur peat’s sake, moss you continue?

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 March 23
        funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

        FTW (fur the win!).

        Adores: 3
  5. 2012 March 23

    Isn’t Fur Door IF’s glam-rock tribute band?

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 March 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Beasty Boys, The Animals, Josie and the Pussycats maybe?

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 March 23
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        You should hear our Psychedelic Furs/Doors medley. It’s to die fur.

        Adores: 4
  6. 2012 March 23
    tigprincess permalink

    Am I the only one to be wondering where Old Doug’s Furr Front is? Now I understand that Old Doug Furr Ends can be used as bicycle stands, but tables? The mind boggles.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 March 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      But Douglas Fur never ends. You know how many cases of lint rollers I’ve gone through?

      Adores: 3
  7. 2012 March 23

    *Shows up in his squirrel costume*

    Did somebody call me?

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 March 23
      valarie permalink

      No. False Friday fur alarm. There is only Douglass.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 March 23

        His sister Lucy is on her way here.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 March 23
          funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

          I went to school with their older cousin, Jenna.

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 March 23
        funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

        Friday?! Here I was thinking all day it was Fursday.

        PS: Wait! This was supposed to go under Valarie! Furry fail!

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          valarie permalink

          Furget about it. FM’s fail is frightfully funny.

          Adores: 0
  8. 2012 March 23
    funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

    What The Fur?

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 March 23
      Lola permalink

      FM, I say this now, aloud, in real life. Well played. *passes flask*

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 March 23
        funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

        Ah, thanks. *tips flask* Oooo! A fuzzy navel!

        Adores: 5
        • 2012 March 23

          :checks:

          Yep, it is.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 March 23
          funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

          Stop that, Ghostie, that tickles!

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23
      Brer Fox permalink

      One fur
      Two fur
      Doug fur
      You fur

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 March 23
        CraigsLister permalink

        Fluffy Douggie was a fir.
        Fluffy Douggie had no fur.
        Fluffy Douggie wasn’t furry, were he?

        Adores: 5
  9. 2012 March 23
    valarie permalink

    They have black paint on each end that plained off when
    run through my plainer

    So is it plainer when run through the planer? Do I get the black paint with each bf? (Capn, what’s a bf?)

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23

      I know that one! It’s “board foot”.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 March 23
        Brer Fox permalink

        BF is me! And have I got some fur.

        Adores: 4
      • 2012 March 23
        Kaziganthi permalink

        and here I thought it was bored fut…

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          valarie permalink

          Damn! Not a boy friend? Best friend?

          *fish takes a beer*

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 March 23
          Brer Fox permalink

          Bored feet? Gnaw, I like to keep my paws busy.
          Heh, heh

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 March 23
          funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

          No no no. “BF” means…

          “BITCH, FLEAS!!!”

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 March 23

      1 bf(board foot) is a unit of measurement of wood that is 12 inches by 12 inches by 1 inch thick.

      However, there is quite a bit of leeway in that depending on what mill or store you’re buying from. A “Finished” board foot is often smaller because of all the trimming, though often enough they just round up 3/4″ thickness to 1″ and call it good.

      Asking how the mill measures your wood is as important as how much they charge per board foot, especially if you’re having them do the planing/jointing/straight rips.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 March 23
        Windrose permalink

        I’m going to the corner early, because this can only degenerate once Hammy and One get here.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 March 23

          Quick! Everyone grab a can of beer and let’s talk about NASCAR!

          *Snags a beer*

          Yup them cars go’n roun’ tha’ turn there, roun’ tha’ turn, an’ roun’ tha’ turn right there.

          Yup an’ them’n cars go’n roun’ tha’ turn there too, roun’ tha’ turn there too, roun’ tha’ turn.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 March 23

          :hangs sign reading “The Mill” in corner, hands Windy a tape measure:

          Remember to round up!

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 March 23
          One Moving Violation permalink

          I resemble that remark.

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 March 23
          One Moving Violation permalink

          “shags a beer”
          RM, that sounfs so perberted!

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 March 23

        Does the mill floss the wood too?

        Yes, I know…corner…

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          Kaziganthi permalink

          Wax on, wax off…
          What? I’m waxing my board…

          *takes up residence in the corner*

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 March 23
          funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

          Kaz, be careful, you could end up with “two coats of hand rubbed oil”.

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      In this ad, bf is probably brown fur since blue fur is so rare, he would most likely ask alot more for that.

      Adores: 0
    • 2012 March 23
      CapnMac permalink

      BF, in context, refers to the imaginary unit of measure known as a Board Foot.

      This is a unit of measure which varies in ways almost all students believe to be for the deliberate mistreatment of students by examination.

      A board-foot is that portion of a given bit of lumber which is proportional to 1728 cubic inches, specifically, a length of 12″, a width of 12″ and a thickness of 1″.
      So, a 2 x 4 (which is really 1.5 x 3.5″) is ( 2 x 4) divided into (1 x 12) or 8/12, for 0.66 BF (per lineal foot). A 2 x 12 (actually 1.5 x 11.25″) is 2×12 / 1/12 or 24/12 or 2 BF per LF

      Sparkii, however, often use “BF” to mean a 12″ length of whatever they have hacked from an otherwise defenseless tree.

      Adores: 0
  10. 2012 March 23
    Lola permalink

    I have a relative named Doug/las. The fur aspect is overrated. A guy with any other name is just as hairy.

    Adores: 0
  11. 2012 March 23
    Digitalaxis permalink

    FUR IS MURDER!
    FREE IS FINE!
    TOO IS COMPANY
    ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER!

    Adores: 3
  12. 2012 March 23
    funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

    “two coats of hand rubbed oil”

    Heh. Heh heh.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23

      Hey, knock it off!

      Heh. heh.

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23
      Brer Fox permalink

      Boy, I’d really like her to rub my oil, um fur I tell ya.
      Yeah, I know, where’s that mongoose at?

      Adores: 2
  13. 2012 March 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    My bedroom walls are white fur,
    and all the trim is brown.
    I did it all with bear paint,
    my room is soft as down.

    Now I will get a fur door,
    and end tables to boot.
    A not.a.lion rug on the floor.
    That’s all my furry loot.

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 March 23
      valarie permalink

      I am throwing a big fur door at you, OMV.

      Adores: 3
  14. 2012 March 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    The door is fur free, and I would like to give it to ghosty today for her really bald statement.

    Adores: 2
  15. 2012 March 23
    CraigsLister permalink

    While searching for a wombat emasculator, Doug came across a craigslist ad for ‘tools’.
    After much ado, it was determined that ‘tools’ meant a keyhole saw and Doug was able to extricate hisself from the closed, free fur door. How the keyhole saw was delivered behind the doot remains a mystery.

    Well, a mystery to Doug anyway as the door is free-standing; it is now known as a Doug free door.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 March 23
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Doot doot doo, looking out my back door.

      Adores: 2
  16. 2012 March 23
    LimeLolly permalink

    Cold and drafty houses, rent them for free. Guaranteed furless.

    Adores: 0
  17. 2012 March 23
    mud "" slicker permalink

    For when your fur door is ajar

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 March 23

      I hate when my car tells me the door is a jar. It is not a jar! It’s a door!

      😉

      Adores: 0
  18. 2012 March 23
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Hello, I’d like to buy a door license.
    A what?
    A door license, for my pet door, Douglas.
    You named your door Douglas, Douglas door?
    Yes, he’s a fur.
    A fur?
    Yes, I chose him out of thousands. didn’t like the others, they were all to flat.
    You don’t need a door license.
    I bloody well do, I have license for my pet dog Douglas, and I have a license for my pet dish Douglas.
    Are all you fur doors named Douglas?
    Yes.
    You’re a looney.
    There’s nothing wrong with that. I hear tell CL Sparky has a coat rack named Bedazzled. You wouldn’t call Sparky a loony.
    Sure I would.

    Adores: 1
  19. 2012 March 23
    Ralph permalink

    Today’s discussion is a free fur all. At least it’s not a fux fur; that would be a foe paw.

    Adores: 0
  20. 2012 March 24
    Windrose permalink

    Mz. valarie ma’m, here’s your lovely parting Punchity Punch Punch! Thanks for playing!

    Good morning, Furbanks!

    Adores: 0
  21. 2012 March 30
    Nicole permalink

    And here I was, thinking it was illegal to turn old people into furniture. Poor Old Doug Furr from the dairy. May he rest in pieces.

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.