YSaC, Vol. 1224: Help Help Help!
The Beatles/Rubber Soul See Des. – $1500
E Mail Is Not Working Any Any Any Please Call Me Only Only Only Anytime At xxx-xxx-xxxx Or xxx-xxx-xyyx Anytime The Beatles/Rubber Soul Totally All Brand Brand Brand Brand New Totally Only One Out There Any All Totally Brand New Never Ever Played Or Ever Touched Ever Any Have Others Make Any Offer E MAIL IS NOT WORKING ANY ANY ANY ANY PLEASE CALL ME ONLY ONLY ONLY PLEASE AT xxx-xxx-xxxx Or xxx-xxx-xyyx ANYTIME
This Must Mean Mean Mean That The See Dee I Have Of Rubber Soul Soul Soul Is A Fake And It’s Been Touched Touched Touched Which Means Means Means That That That It It It Is Is Is Not Not Not Like Like Like A Virgin Virgin Virgin See Dee Because You Know Know Know That See Dees Lose Sound Sound Sound Quality Once They’re Played Or When When When You Smear Peanut Butter Butter Butter On Them Or Use Them As Frisbees In A Game Game Game Of Mall Frisbee Golf.*
*This may actually be true. That Cinderella CD never played the same after that.
I hear an echo, echo, echo.
I hear an echo, echo, echo.
…cho … cho …cho
When it says, “Sparky, Sparky, Sparky” on the label, label, label, you will hate it, hate it, hate it at the table, table, table.
*smacks side of head*
Dave, I hate you.
No Dave! You said his name three times! He’s now free to roam the earth spreading his stupidness!
Ykraps Ykraps Ykraps!
FIFY Funky Funky Funky.
What’s with the wierd accoustics today? It’s making me a bit unbalanced.
*squints*
…a bit?
🙂
Syncopation, Spark’ is doing it wrong wrong wrong (the do-run-run, the do-run-run)
Oh Vern! V-E-R-N! Definitely, definitely, it’s definitely not, definitely not…
I’m an excellent driver.
Kmart sucks.
Fifteen minutes to Wapner.
I’m definitely not wearing my underwear.
*blinks*
Then whose underwear are you wearing?
*blink s*
Have y’all been playing Underwear Roulette in the Lounge again?
Ghostie, if that ain’t a real game boy howdy it should be.
We can market it under the YSaC Brand with the tagline “You bet your britches!”
Damn you’re good!
The best I could come up with was Sponge Sparky Missing Pants. The winner would get to wear the hat and the title Captain Commando.
So, Hammy, whose underwear did you get?
SNAP! Jingly jingly jingly
Oh, Lord…
Duh, puppies wear the same underpants as monkies.
*makes notes for YSaC convention games*
Never raise Hammy a thong if you think he’s bluffing and all you’ve got is two pair. Now I have to dance without the thong.
On the plus side, the breeze is rather nice.
Don’t look,
EthelLyle!*wiggles* Dang, this thong is like a cheap hotel…(No ballroom)
How much is a see de?
About a hundred dollars.
I am the Walrus, walrus, walrus…
Paul is dead, dead, dead.
That is really going to lose its entertainment value when he is.
Maybe we can Twang him into a tree for added entertainment value.
I saw the title and did not think Beatles. My mind went to Blotto’s I Wanna Be a Lifeguard.
Now I have a very sticky ear worm.
Thanks a lot for THAT.
This is Sparky’s way of telling you how badly it will skip when you try to play it.
I know something else that features the same word repeated a few times…
*Jingly Jingly Jingly*
It’s a code! If we read only every third word, well, Not Any Me Only still doesn’t make any sense. Carry on.
Roofer.
Yep, it’s going to be one of those days…
🙂
Sparky has reached a new level of delusional if he thinks he has the only copy of Rubber Soul in existence.
Having read the “Abbey Road Studio Sessions” I can tell you that there were, in fact, many studio innovations brought on by the recording of Help, Revolver, and Rubber Soul. These include the flanger*, the DI box**, and the see de***, know incorrectly in America as the compact disc or cd. See de was actually short for Secret Digital Edition****, and in fact there was only one see de ever produced for Rubber Soul*****. This guy is sitting on a goldmine.******
*True
**Also true
***Not true
****Also not true
*****Extremely not true
******Actually, probably just his mom’s old couch in the basement
*Throws a flag onto the field*
Penalty: Asterisk abuse.
This is a 10 bees penalty.
*throws a tong at Taco*
I think you lost this. That’s at least a 20 bee penalty and loss of your Nike endorsement. Plus your ex-wife just got more child support.
I know, I know. I’m being little hard on the Taco.
And it’s his BIRTHDAY today as well!!!!
Save your hardness for Taco until tomorrow.
Wait… I have an ex-wife?! I always wondered what happened that night people kept buying me Bacontinis until I blacked out.
OMG is it really his birthday?
*clears throat*
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
You look like a cheaply drawn game character from my Atari in the 80s which I had to smack after I’d played it for an hour and when I did my mom would yell and my sister would pinch me for getting us in trouble because we weren’t supposed to be playing the Atari we were supposed to be weeding the garden and I was all like well how are we going to see the screen if I don’t smack it and sister was all like stop playing so damned fast and tearing it up and anyways it’s my turn you dog turd you and I would bite her and she would kick me and then oh you bet it was on….
And you smell like one too!
So wait is he a soft Taco or a hard Taco?
And did FM just say: I’m being a little hard on
Butt a penalty on ass tricks? Aren’t you being a bit anal?
Funky, I’m going to talk to Brer bear and tell him to give you his doors for that because I ran out of them.
Well BF tells me that FM did a real lovely song and I gotta go check it out, so I did, and he also told me to give you DOORS due to he used all his for the day… So I shall give you ONE because it was highlarious….
$1500 for The Beatles Rubber Soul CD? Really?
Sparky would have an easier time figuring out how many toothpicks fell* out of the box and on to the floor than he would selling his CEE-DEE.
*246 on the floor and 4 in the box.
Sparky got it via owl mail and it has sat where the owl dropped it since. Out in the neighbor’s pool. You’ll have to come pick it up though because Sparky doesn’t want to touch it.
Well, covered in owl-scat, there’s not many would be keen to handle it bare-handed. (I’d be hesitant even with a glove box; but, that would be due to Sparkii-contact, not raptor post-digestion contact.)
Scat. That’s a word I have GOT to work into conversation sometime today. Love it.
You kids git off of my lawn! Now scat!
Yup, hear it all the time.
Don’t forget to shake your cane too. Monkeys do it best.
You really should have included the phone numbers on this one drmk. Clearly Sparky is desperate to be called ANYTIME.
I thought Sparky wanted to be called ONLY ONLY ONLY.
ONLY^(1/3)
waaah. how do I cube my only?
🙁
ONLY³
😀
kind of anti-climactic
Dunno, given that a Sparkii is involved, perhaps raising to only 1/3 power is apt.
Hehe…that was supposed to produce the cubed root anyway. My catculator needs fresh batteries.
Heh. “Climactic”. Heh heh.
Ask Tasty Steaks, I hear tell steaks get cubed.
Hey man, where did you hear that?! I haven’t got cubed in years, not since we squared ourselves and created our little root.
Now I have to be a good example; no more getting cubed with the fellas for me. No sir.
Max Headroom here for Billy Mays…
If I may have a moment of Coreydom, I think $1,500 is a lot of money even for a mint Rubber Soul LP, particularly when Sparky can’t even be bothered to tell you which label it’s on – which makes a big difference to a collector. As does the minty shell. / corey.
I found the plot hole in Sparky’s tale. How did he post to CraigsList if his email isn’t working? Because… he would have needed to confirm the email CL sent in order to post his ad. He tried to disguise this obvious flaw by distracting me with repetition, but I saw through it.
I think I gave myself a migraine trying to read that mess. Was Sparky using one of those speak to type things and just stutters a lot? Why on earth would someone repeatedly type the same words over and over? It doesn’t even sound like a bot! There is no way this ad was typed without some chemical assistance.
Remember kids, don’t Dope and Type.
” Was Sparky using one of those speak to type things and just stutters a lot?”
Buwahahahaha! Dying laughing picturing this!
PS: I’m sorry, that was kind of mean. Speech impediments are not funny. Not really. Well, a Sparky with one is. Nevermind.
I’ll Laugh ’til I Die.
Die-Heaven,
Heaven-Angel,
Angel-Wing,
Wing-Feather,
Feather-Tickle,
Tickle-Laugh ’til I Die.
Die-Hell,
Hell-Down,
Down-Feather,
Feather-Tickle,
Tickle-Laugh til I Die.
Die-Limbo,
Limbo-Low,
Low-Down,
Down-Feather,
Feather-Tickle,
Tickle-Laugh….
Rwarwease Rwabert!
But feel free to Drink and Type, ’cause drunken posts are hilarious.
….especially if you’re driving…!
Yeah, I hit one of those drunken posts. Just wandered out in the street. Totally wasn’t my fault. Drunken posts can be a menace.
I asked Des; he said these are much cheaper on eBay.
I do not have $1500 for your see des. Would you consider $5, this rubber ducky, and Heather Mills?
Rubber soul Ducky? Mmmm.
T-Bell, please, don’t brand brand brand brand me. Only only only once is enough.
How else will the
doctorscowboys know you’re in the inpatient wardherd now?“Never Ever Played or Ever Touched”
Yeah, Sparky never played with anybody else, and nobody else ever touched him.
I tried to play Sparky once, but I couldn’t get the fingering right.
I’ll be in the corner.
*leans up against piano, seductively lights a cig, exhales smoke rings slowly – one, two, three – and purrs like Eartha Kitt*
Hey, slick. Can you play “Sparky” for me? You know how it goes….
Ummm, I’m Sly, doll.
But your in so deep, Its making me feel so blue.
I so wish you wouldn’t linger.
Did you have to use your finger?
Did you have to, did you have to
Did you have to use your finger?
The title reminds me of when Brer Bear and I went to K-Mart. I was looking for something.
Brer Bear: Why don’t you ask somebody where it is?
Me: I don’t want to ask anybody, I want to look for it myself.
BB: But you could find it faster.
Me: No, if I can’t find it after looking for it, then I’ll ask for help.
BB: (puts hand on my shoulder) I’ll get someone for you.
Me: No.
BB: (starts wandering the isle like Gumby with palms forward strait down by sides, opening and closeing hands) HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!
He did this until an employee came over and said, “What seems to be the problem here?”
BB: (points at me) He needs you to find something for him.
True story
I always wondered what Monster Truck rally drivers did in their spare time. (E.g. not on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY at the Big Tacothong Arena. Five Bucks for the seat but you’ll only use the EEEEEDGE! Because Adam Clayton Jr. Is expensive, you know)
ghostie, ghostie, ghostie, here’s your here’s your here’s your Punchity Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Nowhere Man!