YSaC, Vol. 1231: Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Hydrangeaphone!

2012 April 16

!!! Nice Plants. Very Reasonable!! While they last! Some $1 Bulbs too – $2


Will remove ad when gone.
Fire cracker bulbs (30!) or Giant white iris bulbs (4) —for $$2!!
Hydrangia – small to very small $6 – $3
Palm -$25
Lilies of the nile -large – $12
large mature day lilies $10
Jade $5…

Drmk had a Palm device for quite a while. They were quite advanced for their time. However, they failed to keep up with the times, and sadly, the company is now defunct.

This photo depicts one of their last, failed attempts to maintain profitability – the perennial cell phone. You would buy two cell phones to start, use one of them, and plant the other one. Your contract was timed to expire at just the time the next phone bloomed. Then you would plant the old one, activate the new one, and the great cycle of life would continue. (I think plankton was also involved in some way.)

The beauty of this plan was that each new generation of phone would evolve the latest new features, so you had the entire cycle of renewal, replacement, and upgrade, taken care of in one small pot.

The only drawback of this plan is that only an idiot would think that putting a cell phone in a flowerpot full of dirt makes any sense at all.

Thanks for the post, MsMarvel!

65 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 April 15
    Ralph permalink

    Putting a cell phone in a flowerpot makes sense if you know how the device got its name: Pot the Palm. Pile it with dirt.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2012 April 15
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I’m commenting using my laptop, but my phone is involved. Is that ok? Or should I just be using my phone so that I seem more qualified to talk about this ad?

    Adores: 1
  3. 2012 April 15
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Hey lady, nice plants!
    *SLAP*
    Ow! That wasn’t very reasonable.
    Lady: Sure it was, I used my palm, now give me $25.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2012 April 16

    Mmmmm, I love Blackberries!

    Adores: 10
  5. 2012 April 16
    Mike permalink

    Sparky did find it strange when his friends told him to make a picture of the plants with his phone. How does that help? Now let’s hope this stuff sells, the new camera Sparky bought to take picture was expensive.

    Adores: 23
  6. 2012 April 16
    Lola permalink

    Richard Attenborough voiceover
    Here we see the elusive, mature (as determined by the wear to its case) mobile phone, nestling among the domestic succulent plants …

    Adores: 9
  7. 2012 April 16
    LimeLolly permalink

    Audrey II has learned to call for takeout rather than rely on Seymour. Ya’ll better not answer your phones.

    Adores: 15
    • 2012 April 16
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      Phone me, Seymour. Phone me aaaaallll niiiiiiiiight looooooooooong….

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 April 16
        Dan permalink

        That’s the only musical for which I’ve played in the pit for three separate productions.

        Adores: 6
      • 2012 April 16
        Tankerbell permalink

        Feeding Audrey II. There’s an app for that.

        Adores: 2
    • 2012 April 16
      One Moving Violation permalink

      That’s okay, I don’t work in the self service industry, I’m safe.

      Adores: 0
  8. 2012 April 16

    Silly Sparky, that looks like an HTC, not a Palm. HTC’s are notorious for their exacting dormancy requirements and do not do at all well in the same soil as those other plants in the picture.

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 April 16
      Digitalaxis permalink

      Looks like an HTC T-Mobile Shadow (Windows Mobile) to me.

      Adores: 2
  9. 2012 April 16
    DigitalAxis permalink

    As her kids grew up and moved out, Marjorie began to tend more and more to her small garden, nurturing and growing her beautiful plants. It gave her joy, a sense of accomplishment, and she became quite adept at producing gorgeous flowers. As her reputation and her arboretum grew, her neighbors pushed her to start a business selling her palms and lilies. Soon, even her green children were moving away… and despite her best efforts, they never called either.

    Adores: 9
  10. 2012 April 16
    SilvaNoir permalink

    I knew some people talked to their plants. I didn’t know they also got them a long distance plan.

    Adores: 20
  11. 2012 April 16
    funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

    Oh, mah, gawd! I hate it when my flower beds break out in phones. I spray and hoe and spray, and nothing helps. Maybe I should invest in a scarephone.

    Adores: 15
    • 2012 April 16
      Lola permalink

      What’s that? One of those big, black rotary-dial babies?

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 April 16
        funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

        Either that or one of those with the blinged out covers. You know the ones, their owners always have the long talon nails. And Cheeto tans.

        Lola: I joke with my mother that she needs a rotary cell phone. She doesn’t disagree. She has a hard time with technology, even for a lady in her mid-60s. Bless her.

        Adores: 4
        • 2012 April 16

          I had a panicky moment this weekend when I tried to answer my Mom’s cell phone – I have an old-fashioned flip phone and she has a new-fangled smart phone.I got so frustrated I just started poking the screen randomly and shaking the thing, which surprisingly didn’t not help at all.

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 April 16

          *(Monday confessional)*

          Occasionally, I will hold my smartphone up to my ear before placing a call. I am listening for the dial tone. sigh

          Adores: 5
        • 2012 April 16
          mud "" slicker permalink

          ghostie: “Well bless its little heart….”

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 April 16
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          *Lifts up mouse to speak into.

          Hello, computer.

          *Nothing

          Hello, computer

          *Nothing

          Crap, I came from the 23rd century for this?

          Adores: 7
        • 2012 April 16

          Bianchi – for the Scotty ref I heart you..I heart you long time.

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 April 16
        mud "" slicker permalink

        …and then Bianchi cat ate said mouse.

        The end.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 April 16

          Bianchi: *burp*

          Adores: 0
  12. 2012 April 16

    Well, I suppose if you plant your phone in the ground you never have to worry about roaming charges.

    Adores: 12
    • 2012 April 16
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      See, I tried that plan Dan’s talking about but I kept forgetting to water the phone and the new one never sprouted.

      Hm. Or maybe it was that I did water the phone and the electrical fire burned the house down.

      I’m pretty sure it was one of those.

      Adores: 8
      • 2012 April 16
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Sure. Sure. Blame it on the Talking Heads…

        or is Electrical Fire your ELO and Talking Heads polka band?

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 April 16

          mudsy, you finally found the explanation for the lederhosen!

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 April 16
      Digitalaxis permalink

      It’s the data plants that are really expensive, honestly.

      Adores: 7
    • 2012 April 16
      SilvaNoir permalink

      Except in the cases of landslides and earthquakes

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 April 16
        mud "" slicker permalink

        They make cases for those? I’m perfectly happy with my iSkin.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 April 16

          I don’t think I ever dropped my iPhone…until I got the *brilliant* idea to buy an OtterBox for it.

          Now, I drop it on a regular basis.

          On the plus side, those OtterBoxes are tough muthahs.

          Adores: 2
  13. 2012 April 16
    camille permalink

    All the cool kids nowadays have lacawates valtrus-suka phones.

    Adores: 14
    • 2012 April 16

      camille, I wish I could cheat and give you elebenty million doors for that comment! 8)

      Adores: 1
  14. 2012 April 16
    Ralph permalink

    At least Sparky didn’t put the phone in an aquarium — that would have been cell fish.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 April 16
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      I shipped a phone to Brother Monkey, who’s doing 3-5 for stealing bananas. He now truly has a cell phone. Hope he don’t get caught with it.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 April 16

        I love your family, funky. 8)

        Adores: 0
        • 2012 April 16
          funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

          There’s never a dull moment around them. You should come to a reunion sometime. It’s a poo-flingin’ festivial. Like LalapaPOOza.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 April 16
          mud "" slicker permalink

          More like a reonion….

          Adores: 2
  15. 2012 April 16

    Should be an interesting day in the box. 8)

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 April 16
      One Moving Violation permalink

      We’ll go bug hunting.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 April 16
        SpaceBug permalink

        Wait, what kinda bugs you huntin’?

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 April 16

          Space Bug, I’m sure P-Rex will exclude present company. Okay, nearly sure.

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 April 16
          P-Rex permalink

          You’re safe. They don’t make tiny eight legged space suits.

          Adores: 1
  16. 2012 April 16
    mud "" slicker permalink

    *stab the handily available android into the pot dirt/dirty pot*

    Perhaps it’s there for scale? If so, there are lotions for that!

    (good thing he didn’t pick the .38)

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 April 16
      CapnMac permalink

      Which leaves us a question: “Is there an Ap for that?”
      Which then needs sorting into “iOS; ‘Droid; or W8?”

      (had heard that there is a rotary dial image for iOS phones–but it could never have that feel of the not-quite-sharp edge of the dial against your finger; nor the tactile feel of the pawl going around)

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 April 16
        mud "" slicker permalink

        Pawl….wasn’t he one of the Apostles?

        Adores: 3
      • 2012 April 16

        We have an old rotary phone upstairs as a back-up phone that absolutely baffles my nephew. He’s tried to use it a couple of times and usually ends up getting frustrated and going downstairs to find the other phone.

        Adores: 2
  17. 2012 April 16
    Tankerbell permalink

    This is brilliant, actually. Sparky’s Mandrake Roots can now cure basilisk-induced petrification remotely.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 April 16
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Rule #34 should apply to ^^* this *^^

      Adores: 0
  18. 2012 April 16
    CapnMac permalink

    [tangentially-related story]
    Was doing my construction supervisor thing, building a building. It was the day we were pouring concrete into 24′ deep drilled pier holes. The Project Manager for the concrete guys was using his tape measure to show the City Inspector that the hole was deep enough.

    There was some joking about not dropping the tape measure into the hole. It’s a job site, such japery and jocularity are commonplace.

    What was less funny was that as the concrete was being pumped into the hole, the PM’s brand-new (replacement) push-to-talk cell phone popped out of its holder as said worthy leaned over to check how full the bore was (you pour a certain depth, then use a vibrating device to settle the concrete upon its own voids and to fully fill the volume).

    This was equal parts hilarious and woeful; many that day walked around with one hand on their phone (particularly those issued by an employer).

    I’m still half-curious whether that phone is still down there, ringing . . .
    [/topic]

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 April 16
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      Back in the day of beepers, I dropped my company beeper in the potty (I knocked it off my belt loop as I reached for the potty flusher button thingy and down it went). And I just neglected to tell my boss until the next day. So at least for that night, if someone paged me, only the sewer system could respond. And I immensely enjoyed watching it disappear. Hated the damned thing.

      Adores: 2
  19. 2012 April 16
    One Moving Violation permalink

    And I don’t feel safe anymore.
    Oh what a mess.
    I wonder what’s watching me now.
    (what?)
    The I R I S ?

    Adores: 2
  20. 2012 April 16
    CatatonicBug permalink

    The phone in the picture is a T-Mobile Wing, made by HTC – NOT a Palm. I don’t see anything strange about the picture, as the ad is obviously using the phone as a way to judge the size of the plants. Much like placing a coin next to an object for a size reference. Granted, the seller could have chosen something else to reference the size with, but a phone works just as well as a coin (better in this case, since the coin would likely have been too small to see).

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 April 16

      CatBug, you are going to need these: A whole bunch of (corey) (/corey) tags, until you catch on. 8) Hope you stay around long enough to get the joke, and yes, an old wooden ruler would have been the indisputable best item to use. But, then again, size isn’t everything.

      Adores: 3
    • 2012 April 16

      *hands cocktails to catatonicbug and dan*

      Here’s some palm wine with a spritz of seltzer and garnished with a twist of lime. Enjoy with a dash of satire!

      Adores: 0
    • 2012 April 16

      Of course it’s a Palm — it’s for sale right there in the ad!*

      *For the humor impaired.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 April 17

        YSaC 12 step program for the Humor Impaired. First, you must acknowledge that you have a problem. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

        Adores: 0
  21. 2012 April 17

    One and P, here are your totally separate, individual, or your money back guaranteed, Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Nuclear Wessels!

    Adores: 0

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