Who’s interested in some bartering?
Wanted: large centipedes for photographer
Wanted: large centipedes for photographer
Cash paid. Let me know if you can assist with my project. Thanks.
Well, I don’t really NEED a photographer. What if I brought you a couple of weevils and a cabbage moth? Could I get a copy editor, or at least a mail clerk?
The mind boggles. Thanks, William!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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Large Centipedes for Photographer was my failed Death Cab for Cutie cover band.
Love of mine, some day you will die,
The maggots close behind,
They’ll munch on you, into the dark!
What a morbid way to start my day…
You’re welcome! 8)
They were more successful as my Scouting for Girls cover band.
Ok, it is too early to contemplate Myripoda, or a sparkii understanding of same.
But, the coffee maker did not start on schedule, too. A fifth Monday in the week is about par for the week, though.
Aside: My daily travel spanning 30 highway miles a trip, and the far end passing through a truck-stop intersection, I get to see a fascinating array of truck-and-trailer combinations. Which includes multi-bogie “low boy” and specialty trailers. The number of wheel and axle combinations on those trailers giving rise to their trucking vernacular: “centipedes.” I saw a double-fifth wheel, three-bogie, ten-axle rig just the other day. After marveling at that bit of technology, I was glad I did not have to check the tire pressure on the forty trailer tires and the twelve tires on the tractor as well.
Ugh. off out the door yet again.
I’ve seen those. The most tires I’ve had on a tractor-trailer combination is thirty-two. Twelve on my tractor, twenty on my mountain doubles. Pain in the hiney when chains are required. Six drive tires and four drag chains, two on the front trailer, one on the con-gear and one on the back trailer. The con-gear is also known as the dolly (connects the two trailers together).
So yes, I had to chain up my dolly.
I’d be happy to assist you, Sparky!
:points at front porch:
Go look under there. If you find a centipede that’s longer than your hand, it’s probably a snake.
::hides::
Say “Centipedes!”
That makes everybody smile.
Why do I get the impression he’s looking for a *human* centipede?
Ugh! Let’s not go there this early in the morning.
:boiling brain bleach
Why won’t references to that movie EVER go away? *borrows a cup of brainbleach*
I got the movie through Netflix under the assumption that it couldn’t be as bad as everyone was saying. Turns out it’s much, much worse.
I have no idea what movie you are refering to, but I’ll take your word for it.
Is David Attenborough wheelchair-bound now?
Centerpiece? I have one on the table that I could let Sparky have at a bargain price before the flowers all fade.
Well, OK…as long as I don’t have to supply the shoes.
Dan, I’m all for the entomology-for-services bartering system. I won’t let go of my ladybugs, not even for a graphic artist. But I’ll trade 3 grubs and a dragonfly for a good accountant.
What can I get for a dead spider and what looks like most of a grasshopper?
Oh oh! Did the cats use your barter bugs as plaything?
Yes, it’s every cat’s favorite game “Guess What I’m Eating!”
And you don’t know whether you’ve won til they upchuck the pieces!
Like when my niece’s Silly Band collection mysteriously disappeared. I argued that it should be considered a modern art installation but was outvoted.
Dead spiders, dead dead dead dead spiders.
Dead spiders aren’t much fun.
They don’t pounce on their prey.
They don’t eat flies every day.
Dead Spiders aren’t much fun.
They don’t run from big ol’ cats.
They don’t ride on peoples hats.
Dead spiders aren’t much fun.
No no no.
My spider died in the hall.
She got squashed upon the wall.
Dead spiders aren’t much fun.
Dead dead dead, dead spiders.
Dead dead dead, dead spiders.
Dead spiders aren’t much fun.
Come on everybody, Sing along. Okay?
Dead dead dead, dead spiders.
Dead dead dead, dead spiders.
Dead spiders aren’t much fun.
One more time for Phidippus Audax!
Dead dead dead, dead spiders….
(apologies to me for that one)
[Matt] I consider the whole concept to be horribly arthropod-centric. The goldfish in my water feature are multiplying, and I wouldn’t mind being able to trade some of them for a good tailor. [/Matt]
Hey! Fish for services is just plain wrong. sniff
Just has to be an IF cover band . . .
It’s his Tears for Fears folk quartet. I think they do some sea shanties as well.
Fish, generally, do not make good currency, though many live in a current.
I have however paid for items with a couple of fins.
Sorry Wanda, now I feel so guilty.
“I wouldn’t mind being able to trade some of them for a good tailor.”
And well you should. A little tail can add so much to your life, but you want someone who really knows what they are doing. Although bad tail is better than no tail at all.
Hee hee. That was pretty funny.
But, ya know…to the corner for you.
Happy Friday inna Box to Hammy and kelli! I think we’re serving BBQ in there today.
No centipedes, but I do have snails that crawl all over my basement windows and the deer tick I pulled off my leg yesterday that I’m desperately hoping won’t give me Lyme disease
hands SilvaNoir 2 doxycycline
You’re all set. Antibiotics for snark is a good trade.
I hope so too, Silva. I had a neighbor with Lyme disease, really works him over sometimes.
I contracted Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever from a tick during my senior year in high school.
Darn, now someone needs to write a song to make me feel better.
One about a centipede
traded for some guy,
carrying a camera
who isn’t very shy.
Come all ya young sparkies that follow the C(L),
With a yo ho! Blow the man down,
Now just pay a cent’pede and listen to me,
Give me a photographer & photo the man down
(Sorry, I’m not 1/100 as clever as the rest of you…it was the best I could do)
Good ’nuff. feel better already.
Perhaps we should set up this photographer with the people trying to start a network earlier this week. I’m not sure how many millipedes a sound guy is.
“Wanted: large centipedes for photographer”
I’ve heard people wanting crickets for their tarantulas or lizards.
I’ve heard people wanting mice for their snakes.
I wouldn’t think large centipedes would make good photographer food.
My neice is way to finicky to eat a centipede.
You have to hide it in a piece of cheese.
*confronts centipede*
*raises pedipalps in pugilistic style*
So what if you got more legs than me. Wanna fight about it?
*slug…………..grabs………..s…..l….r*
Slug: Wayyyyyyt………..don’t………..start………yet……..!!!!!
Wait a sec, it’s been a while, but I remember that the difference between centipedes and millipedes is that the former have a venomous first pair of fangs/legs (and that they always have an odd number of segments*)
___________________________________________________
*This is in the “Field Guide” listing hazards to personnel operating in [mesoamerica]–just how useful it is to stop and count the number of segments of a creepy-crawlie scampering about a person still eludes me.
I’ve heard numerous times that you can tell if a snake is venomous by checking its belly scales, but if I’m close enough to look at a snake’s tummy then one of us had better be dead.
Kids: Hey mister, you got any centipedes?
*looks at youngsters gathered ’round*
*takes out teeth and rinses them in glass*
Ya know, when I was your age, I had one othem new fangled velocipedes.
Kids: No! Centipedes!
Crazy kids! Ya know ya can’t ride a centipede! Now go home, yer mother wants ya.
You fergot to shake yer cane at ’em. But extra points for the teeth rinsing!
That was supposed to say: “Go tell yer mother she wants ya.”
It’s not easy for a centipede to be a good photographer. They spend too much time rearranging the footlights, and scare the models during close-ups.
We don’t use ’em damn meh-trics ’round ear.
“Wanned; biggish hunnertootsie fer pitchertaker” is whut it shud say.
“Let me know if you can assist with with my project.”
You haven’t told me what your project is.
If its a sexy centipede centerfold, no way.
Do you know how hard it is to get fishnet stockings on a centipede?
I’m never doing that again!
Bet you had a lot of runners!
“Weevils wobble, but… well, you know.”
…They don’t photograph well?
… They don’t have down?
… They get into your Fruity Pebbles box and you don’t notice until you’ve eaten half a bowl and it makes you put what you’ve eaten back in the bowl involuntarily, then you put an ad on craigslist for a half eaten bowl of cereal that looks like the bowl is really full and readers of the ad wonder why it looks full when you said it was half a bowl of cereal and then someone sends your ad to yousuckatcraigslistdotcom and then people make fun of your ad.
…and that’s why you feel so melancholy baby.
This seems like a fun place to share this (this is the about page, otherwise it makes even less sense):
My Pet Slug
http://mypetslug.com/?page_id=42
We saw her speak at Ignite last February. I was looking forward to her talk more than any other based on this proposal: http://proposals.igniteportland.com/proposals/589
Turned out the proposal was teh funneh.
Most photography assistants only have two hands. How smart is that guy for getting something with multiple appendages?
HamCan and kelli, have a great snarky weekend! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Filk and Atta!