YSaC, Vol. 1267: With apologies to Douglas Adams.
2012 June 5
Whirlpool Frontload Dryer – $50
Whirlpool frontload dryer. It won’t turn on, I have no idea why. Worked fine up until I went to turn it on, and it wouldn’t turn on. Call or Text ###-###-####
Ah. This is obviously some new definition of “Worked Fine” with which I was previously unfamiliar. Much like the ontological crisis from last week’s real fake video camera, we are confronted with a washer that works fine at all times except when you actually attempt to use it. Or maybe this is more like that light in the refrigerator.
Thanks for the link, Melissa!
Poor Sparky. Maybe it’s just not that into you any more.
Maybe Sparky should try dressing up like an animatronic dinosaur.
You have to look at it from an optimists point of view, the washer has two modes, ‘off’ and ‘on’, since the ‘off’ mode works fine, the washer is half working.
It could run when it is off and do nothing when it is on. It would be completely worthless in that case.
But, perhaps that is the ideal, the zanshin state of the dryer, to be perfectly at work while off, and utterly at rest when on. And this condition of kharmic, of cosmic, bliss continuously interrupted by the parasitic infestation of humans upon the machines’ planet.
I, for one, welcome the coming beneficient rule of our machine overlords–see, I’m smiling, I’m smiling, don’t take my
MTv, my MTver, Internets away; can I have another bowl of porridge, sir?(hey cool, esb is back, huzzah!)
According to Ambrose Bierce, “A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.” Maybe he designed this dryer, too.
I had a plenipotentiary dryer once, it would expend expensive electricity, but not actually “do” anything useful,
It was not particularly a good guest at garden parties or Diplomatic Teas, for that matter.
Clearly every sock in this house has its mate, and therefore the dryer has been starved to death.
Shame on you, Sparky.
This ad has such a perfect zen quality to it: What is the sound of one dryer not drying?
Or perhaps one is more interested in Western philosophical questions, such as:
Which came first, the washer or the dryer?
If a tree falls in the forest and crushes you but no one else is around, are you still dead? – and what does the dryer have to do with it?
How many angels can dance on the head of an animatronic dinosaur? (rowr)
If the elastic in the TacoThong wears out, is it still jingly or is it just dangley?
If you shake your cane at them, do the darn kids have to get off your lawn?
So many questions to ponder, so little time….
. . . . . . ._______.
The dryer, the sun comes before the rain, at least in religeous circles.
Trees don’t crush on you unless you crush on the trees first, tree hugger! Your question doesn’t hold water. That’s what the dryer has to do with it.
42 (squeek)
If Taco wears his thong on the outside, then he’s a superhero. JINGLY!!!
Yes, but it won’t keep them off your grass.
The washer came first. The dryer couldn’t even get turned on.
It worked fine until YOU tried to turn it on.
It’s like a toggle switch. You have to look for it.
And then it just went in the bathroom and cried?
Judging by how dark the photo is, maybe Sparky should wait for the power to come back on and try again.
I was thinking along those lines, too, though specifically
I so, so want to inquire who in Sparky’s household tripped over the cord … because then if they can do that for some other appliances I can get those for cheap as well! *smirk*
I’m hoping his 47″ flat screen has the same problem!
If you’re in the market for a new car, I’ve got a piece of garden hose that can ensure that his vehicle comes down with the same mysterious affliction.
I hope that car comes with a mechanic for my cow. RAWR!!
How could something be working BEFORE Sparky tried to turn it on?
Before he/she actually turned it on, let’s assume that in that state it was either working or not working. Oh look, Schrödinger’s cat is peeking out of the porthole! He appears to be meowing, “Help me! Help Humanity!”
I know what this person is going through. I have the same problem with a wall hanging. It’s a picture of a lion, and it’s a real nice picture. But whenever I look at it, it’s a tiger. I don’t know why, it just looks like a tiger. The other day I bought some kiwis, you know, because fruit is good for you and they taste good. But when I took a knife to cut into one, it flapped its wings, scattering feathers all over the place, ran around the living room and pooped on the floor.
I’m beginning to think the universe is laughing behind my back.
Yeah I hear you. When my mower broke down, my neighbor suggested I get a horse or a goat for my yard to keep the grass down. So I got a nice pinto. It just sits out there and the grass keeps on getting taller. I’m going to have to put it up on blocks just so I can see it. I don’t know, maybe I should have gotten a ram instead.
The mustang isn’t any more motivated. And forget about the impala. All they keep bitching about is the fact that they’re not out on “the savana” — whatever that is!
And impalas can jump the fence
I recommend the Ford Ruminant. It may lack some of the style features of the other models, but it’s solid and reliable.
Are the ruminants the ones that sniff out truffles?
I had some neighbors try that with a Tiburon once.
This was doomed to some failure as Squalusae are generally not herbivorous, and smell really bad after three days’ out on the lawn . . .
Did you try stroking its knobs and whispering sweet nothings in its lint trap?
Sparky is doing it wrong. This is the GE Luddite dryer. Drape your moist undies over it and set it out in the sun, it works fine.
Woo hoo, first time in the box! Funny, it’s smaller than I imagined it, and seems to be infested with box turtles, all of them named Jack.
Um, them ain’t turtles.
Well, whatever they are, they’re sure attacking the box lunch.
Silly Sparky! Whirlpools are for wetting, not drying.
Indigo, why is your avatar not indigo?
funky monkey’s avatar looks like a funky monkey.
ghostcat’s avatar looks like a ghostcat.
Demon Duck of Doom’s avatar looks like we’re all doomed, so duck!
CapnMac’s avatar looks like…..
Okay, I’ll let it slide this time.
*wanders off mumbling about the universe*
There’s an obvious reason it won’t turn on: the electrons are on strike. It’s all the fault of Obama and Big Labor.
That’s the problem with washing ton.
I need a working dryer. Popcorn night is tomorrow, and I have nothing to watch.
I answer phones for a heating company. In trying to determine what a caller wants I might ask “Is your furnace working?”. They sometimes respond “It’s working it’s just not putting out any heat”. Well folks, that’s the defintion of not working.
DDD, This is actually your second time in the box, but your first solo run, so I guess that makes it special. (It was on Sunday that you were first in the box) (You were a Redux Duck) (I crack myself up!) Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Monsanto’s House of the Future!
Gee, I missed that, Windrose. I must have been thinking outside the box.
It’s the best dryer in the world if you just close your eyes and pretend it works. It’s when you look that it taunts you by turning off and not working.