YSaC, Vol. 1280: Girl, look what you’ve done to me.

2012 June 22

This one’s behind a cut because … well, trust me. Look around. Kids nearby? Boss? Mother-in-law? If yes, can I recommend something in a nice gerbert? Now look at yourself. Easily offended? Then you’re sort of in the wrong place completely. Go have a nice nap.

But, if you answered no to all of the above, go ahead and click. Just, please … don’t say I didn’t warn you.

6/11-6/25: blow job classes 4 young girls 16 +


blow jobs 4 beginers willing to teach young ladeys the art of giveing head. will be runing advanced classes for those that would like to learn to deep throat.willing to run classes days and nite depending on demand.these classes will be run free of charge as a service to the comunity to teach or females some useful life skill.proof of age required upon enrolment.for enrolment or any questions please get back to me.regards phil

 

Phil seems like a great guy, doesn’t he? It’s so charitable of him to run free classes. And thank heavens he’s willing to run them for two weeks; I’m sure these lessons are going to fill up quickly with women looking to learn valuable life skills.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go enroll in some … um … graduate-level courses.

What?*

Thanks, KB!

*Oh dear. I have to put the slimy tag on this one, don’t I?

54 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 June 22
    CapnMac permalink

    Ah.
    Hm.
    Ah-; no.
    Er.
    Wait–Does not “16 get’ya twenty”apply? Is this not the case in [location]?
    I realize this is unrealistic expectations, and that cloak of nothing-is-illegal-if-on-CL thing, but, still . . .

    Huddles into a ball going “nanananananana” while rocking away bad images
    all the while hoping that this is either tween prank or just hikikomori noise.

    Goes back to huddled rocking.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 June 22

      That depends on what state [location] is in. In many states, the age of consent is 16, but in Virginia, the sodomy law still applies unless both participants are 18+, and solicitation of a felony is itself a felony, so just running this ad would be a major no-no.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 June 22
        wanda permalink

        I’m just going to watch “Hard Candy” today and forget I even saw this ad.

        Adores: 2
      • 2012 June 22
        SilvaNoir permalink

        I’m hoping Chris Hansen answers the ad and tells Phil to have a seat over there.

        Adores: 7
        • 2012 June 22
          mud "blowin' in the wind" slicker permalink

          I’ll bring the sweet tea!!!

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 June 22
        wanda permalink

        Dave, will you dress a ferret up like an underage girl and have it answer the ad? Please…

        Adores: 14
        • 2012 June 22

          Aren’t ferrets rather bitey?

          Wait, that could be a good thing.

          Adores: 8
  2. 2012 June 22
    penguin permalink

    Phil does know that good teachers demonstrate first and then the students try, right?

    Adores: 12
  3. 2012 June 22
    funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

    Re drmk’s (BBUH) graduate-level course: Baby, I done gots my PhD!

    Moowahahahahahaha! Oh yeah!

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 June 22

      So, if you’re doctor of the BJ, does that mean you’re proficient in sexual healing?

      Marvin Gaye would be proud.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 June 22
        funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

        Nah, my theme song is “Lets Get It On”.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 June 22

          Mine is “I have a lovely bunch of Coconuts.”

          TacoMa’am tells me it’s not cool that I try to sing it during happy sexy times.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 22
          penguin permalink

          Whitesnake’s “Slow An’ Easy”

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 22
          mud "blowin' in the wind" slicker permalink

          Mark Chesnutt’s Pride’s Not Hard to Swallow.

          *oh, please tell me this guy is a country/western singer*

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 June 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Yes, Mr. Chestnut records out of Nashville.
          Although, that track was written by Hank Williams, Jr, and first appeared on the album of the same name.
          Probably a youtube cut of it somewhere.

          Adores: 0
  4. 2012 June 22
    wanda permalink

    Well, I guess you there is a new spin on “mouthing off” to the teacher.

    Adores: 9
  5. 2012 June 22
    Ralph permalink

    Phil McCavity?

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 June 22
      funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

      Maybe Phil McCracken.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 June 22

        Don’t forget that most people have a middle name:

        Phillip Mike Rotch.

        Adores: 7
        • 2012 June 22
          wanda permalink

          Phil C. Alice. Really? 4+ girls?

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 June 22

          Must have gotten his hands on some of those magic blue pills.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 June 22
          CapnMac permalink

          Or, Phil is a cephalpod.

          And of the impression that said state is the result of venal enchantment by some hag, and requires a “kiss” to be disenchanted, and restored ‘his’ previous state, as Larry leisure suit.

          Adores: 1
  6. 2012 June 22

    You know, I’ve had a wonderful few months recently. Got me one of them boyfriend things, and it’s done wonders for my mood. In fact, my faith in humanity has been soaring recently.

    I think this ad just shot it down like that random soldier shot down the Red Baron. My faith has been shot down so hard that it now needs to work the corner to make its living, but it’s still too classy to sign up for this ad. I’m going to go look at pictures of genie pigs doing adorable things.

    Adores: 15
    • 2012 June 22

      Boyfriend Things is IF’s Killer Klowns smooth Jazz cover.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 June 22

        I think they get all their performance outfits from a lingerie store by the same name.

        Adores: 2
    • 2012 June 22
      funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

      The sad part: I bet he gets at least a few replies.

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 June 22
      mud "blowin' in the wind" slicker permalink

      Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty or more….

      Adores: 1
  7. 2012 June 22
    Lola permalink

    Spelling for beginners. Willing to teach shiftless, semi-illiterate dropouts the craft of comp0sing sentences. Will be ruining your advanced, overblown self-esteem and bizarre sense of being an expert in anything cool for those who would like to learn to start from scratch. Willing to run classes days and nights depending on level of stupidity. These classes will be run free of charge as a service to the community to teach douchebags some useful life skills other than fake pimping and thinking they’re a baller. Proof of brain ownership required upon enrollment. For enrollment or any questions that aren’t completely idiotic, please get back to me. Disregard this opportunity at your peril, Phil.

    There, fixed that for you.

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 June 22
      mud "blowin' in the wind" slicker permalink

      Is knowing how to do “duck face” a plus? Or is that skill not needed in grammar?

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 June 22
        funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

        It would be a useful skill for those applying to Phil’s ad, methinks.

        Adores: 2
  8. 2012 June 22
    LimeLolly permalink

    This guy is such a humanitarian. (dang, it’s hard to type that with a straight face)

    It’s hard to believe that there are still people that care so much about young ladeys (snerk) that they are willing to give their time and effort to teach them a skill, out of the goodness of their heart. Why… he could be the President, some day!

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 June 22

      I’m not so sure about that; I feel like under-the-table deals would be rampant in his administration. 😉

      Adores: 9
      • 2012 June 22
        Digitalaxis permalink

        Not to mention all-night cabinet sessions.

        Adores: 7
      • 2012 June 22

        Frankly, I’ve heard that political internships suck quite a bit.

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 June 22

          I’ve heard that too. According to the people I’ve talked to, it mostly involves getting on one’s knees and sucking up to their superiors in the hope they might get paid for doing bigger (if somewhat harder) things someday.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 June 22

          Those deep undercover operatives have to start somewhere, I guess.

          Adores: 4
        • 2012 June 22

          But someday, who knows, they might even be as significant as Deep Throat!

          On a completely unrelated note, I still have no idea why Google AdSense thought this was a pr0n site.

          Adores: 7
        • 2012 June 22

          It is one of life’s great mysteries.

          Adores: 5
  9. 2012 June 22

    Look, a seagull!

    Adores: 2
  10. 2012 June 22
    Digitalaxis permalink

    What is this I don’t even

    Adores: 3
  11. 2012 June 22
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    to teach or females

    One or the other, but not both. That would be just greedy.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 June 22
      CapnMac permalink

      It was very early in the morning–only halfway through first coffee–and it scanned as

      “to teach ur females”

      causing a person to speculate if Phil was attempting to reach a like evolutionary level in seeking out paleolithic distaff relations.

      But, I suspect even paleo-women would reject Phil . . .

      Adores: 2
  12. 2012 June 22
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    “Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.”

    -Dr. Phil

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 June 22
      funky "monkey brownies" monkey permalink

      “Don’t pee on my face and tell me it’s raining.”

      -Phil Sparky to his students

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 June 22
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, yeah, duh–that’s $20 extra, same as in town!

        [smack-thud; ow; corner]

        Adores: 6
  13. 2012 June 22
    penguin permalink

    Exactly where does being able to give a b.j. rank on the list of life skills? Does it come after being able to balance a checkbook but before cleaning a toilet? Is it more important than knowing how to iron a shirt but not as important as boiling water? Of course, if you were really, really good at it, I guess all the other things could be taken care of for you.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2012 June 23
    Gary permalink

    Well, this is you SUCK at craig’s list isn’t it?

    Adores: 3
  15. 2012 June 23

    CJ, Dave, Ferrets en mass, Silva, Hope you had fun in the box, wink wink nudge nudge!

    Good Morning, Class! Class! CLASS!

    Adores: 1
  16. 2012 June 26
    Kitty permalink

    Am I the only one who thinks of an old KITH sketch with Scott Thompson as the blowjob angel while reading this???LMAO 😀

    Adores: 0

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