YSaC, Vol. 1298: Operation Dessert Shield
Copies of older monthly Readers Digest
I have 25-30 of the monthly Readers Digest from the mid 80’s to the mid 90’s. These are before they changed to being “”Correct”” when they were very good reading.
They can be picked up anytime but leave a Phone # to get a response.
Now, my understanding of Readers Digest is that it condenses articles from other sources, and then combines them into a package that is a little too big to fit into a pocket, but too small to have a decent number of words on a page. That, and it publishes allegedly humorous anecdotes that only my grandparents found amusing.
But I never realized that until recently it was actually incorrect. I’m picturing a few sample headlines from the mid 80s:
“Oliver North Sent Armadillos to Nicaragua!”
“Student Demonstraters Topple Bern Wall!”
“Read My Lips, No New Taxis!”
That sounds MUCH more interesting than I thought this publication actually was. Maybe I’ll have to pick up a few of these.
I’m not familiar with this particular Sparky’s punctuational conventions. Does “”Correct”” mean that you have to both say it AND use air quotes?
I’m so confused.
I am as well, though it is because ‘they changed to being “”Correct”” [why the double quotes? and the capitalization?] when they were very good reading’ is confusing.
Lola, YSaC is proof that “”Incorrect”” is good reading.
…or at least entertaining.
It is, isn’t it?
😀
Come and pick up my incorrect Reader’s Digest.
Such a lovely text (Such a lovely text),
Such a weak pretext.
Plenty of issues of the incorrect Reader’s Digest,
From the Reagan-Bush years (From the Reagan-Bush years),
You can find them here.
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door.
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before.
“Relax,” said the Sparky;
“We are programmed to receive.
You can pick them up any time you like,
But you can never leave!”
I love this, Dave, and hope you get a response!
My parents have a few copies of Reader’s Digest from during World War II, which are interesting for the historical aspects. To me, that’s actually old. These people calling issues from the late 1980s old seems to be stretching it a bit. I’d consider them to be still within “Doctor’s Office Waiting Room” vintage.
Absolutely, not old. And they’re only copies, not originals, so they have no “”Collect”” value.
I’ve got a few copies from the ’40s too, Lola, and I completely agree. And the advertising in them is beautifully done.
[corey] I suspect the reference is to political correctness. Reader’s Disgust has always been a right-wing rag, but they tried to emulate Fox a few years ago. It didn’t work; they went bankrupt and have not yet recovered. [/corey]
I haven’t read it in more than a decade, so I see I didn’t miss anything in the “correction.”
I pick it up in doctors’ offices waiting rooms, and only read the humor parts. I always hated the stories about brave dogs that died saving the kittens from the storm drain, etc. I have a very low tear jerk threshold.
Testing…
Cool! I’m back on the air! No comment, I have to actually go to work now. See you in approx. 10 hours!
*chalks an X on the thread* This space reserved for Smedley. 8)
I, too, have nothing to add, but to be pleased to see that the scourge of The Crimson Mutual Assurance has been overcome and we might return to business as usual.
Before the divorce, my Mom subscribed to “Readers Digest” and “National Geographic” for me. Now I only get “National Geographic”. I guess the wholesome message was lost on me.
Aah, I’ll take my dessert storm with whipped cream, a cherry and nuts.
Not since “Humor in Uniform” and “The Saga of the Potato” has Reader’s Digest been more “correct.”
I’m surprised that Rush Limbaugh is willing to part with his 25-30 issues that he kept next to the loo.
I’m guessing Rush is named ironically then, if he had to have that many issues of Reader’s Digest next to the crapper.
Definitely. More like Slow and Strained.
He just overlooked the apostrophe and took the title literally.
Maybe we should send him a fruit basket.
“Commence digesting NOW!”
Hehe….
A fruit basket and these special brownies. *hides Ex-Lax boxes*
I’d pay good money to see Rush tripped out on those other kind of special brownies.
Dude, my hands are HUUUUGE!
But what’s a “dessert shield”? Is that like a naked photo of yourself that you tape on the refrigerator door? Or is it more of a force field that deflects thrown pies?
Speaking of pies, here’s a guy who could use a dessert shield.
/matt – I’m a flaming conservative. Honest to all that is holy, I had not noticed a left or right slant to RD and I’ve had a subscription for years. I love the humor and sometimes even learn shit that’s useful. Lately they’ve been running a series of “10/12/13 Things Your Nurse/Vet/Weatherman/Realtor Won’t Tell You”…and I have found that most enlightening. I also enjoy the book excerpts – most recently one by Colin Powell, not exactly a right-wing nut – and even get recipes and health tips from inside the pages of a magazine I’m guessing most of you don’t read./endmatt
p.s. pay no attention to me…I’m having a shitty day…reminders of Daddy everywhere=bitchy CJ.
p.p.s. I really do like RD.
You should really find that pinko commie that set you on fire, CJ.
[hands CJ a fire extinguisher]
Actually I read it until I moved out of my parents house and what I miss most are the art details from the back covers, which I am not sure they have any more.
The one from 1977 with the book excerpt about King Tut is my all time favorite (same year my parents took me to the exhibit – the last time it was here – in Seattle), though I didn’t read it until a few years later when I found the older issue. I literally probably read it a hundred times and still remember bits of it word for word. “Can you see anything?” “Yes, wonderful things.”
Isn’t the more modern term “Fabulous Conservative?”
I remember RD fondly. My grandparents used to have them stacked all over and I enjoyed the humor columns. Of course in junior high I liked the album You Don’t Have to Be Jewish! I wore it out, along with the Gypsy! soundtrack album. Those were the good old days…sigh.
“leave a Phone #”
What’s a phone pound? Just when I learn the difference between “”Imperial and Troy””, they come up with something different to measure by. How many ounces are in a phone #? It doesn’t make any sense anyway. I mean, who would try to put snow leopards in a phone? There are supposed to be eight ounces in a cup. That leaves no room for the milk. That would have to be a pretty big cup. I can imagine a couple of itty bitty kitties in a D-cup. You would probably get your exercize trying to get them in there though. The ounces would have to be declawed before putting them in an athletic cup. Definitely! Well, phones are getting pretty small nowadays, so maybe the pounds are too, but that would make the phone # a variable. That’s no way to measure anything. Well, almost anything. Can anyone explain?
1 phone# = 1/280 feckton or 1/3028.03 fecktonne or 1/28 peckerweight
Cor’ blighmy, Ai’n’t UK units of measure fun?
At least Spark’ does not want #phone, as telecommunications devices do not well chop into hash, tagged or not.
The answer is purple, because aliens don’t eat pancakes.
“I have 25-30 ”
I have 25 or 6 to 4.
But heavenz to bettziez, does anybody really know what time it is?
I wish Chicago would make up their mind.
*sigh*
Does anybody really care?
Chicago is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of time.
Is that CHUP for short?
See this answer.
Time to get me another hat.
Now here’s something we hope you’ll really like.
Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader!
(so many voices, so little mind.)
I will always cherish the memory of hearing my late mother tell the following joke. Up to that point I had never heard her use foul language, so it was quite an eye-opener.
************************************************
A struggling writer submits an article to Reader’s Digest, titled “I Fucked a Bear”. He receives a letter saying “We’re very sorry, but do not feel this would be appropriate for our readership. Please feel free to try again.”
He thinks about it a while and revises the title to “I Fucked a Bear for the FBI”. Again, a rejection letter. “I don’t think you understand. Please consider our target demographic.”
He changes the title to “I Fucked a Communist Bear for the FBI and Found God”.
The article was accepted.
Are you sure the struggling writer just didn’t make a mistake and send it to The Readers Digress instead? You know, that would make a difference.
Yay, my submission was used.
Aren’t you always beating us into submission?
Only when absolutely necessary.
Wouldn’t you know, it’s one of the few times the submitter was not acknowledged. 8/ Congratulations, anyway!
I blame Dan.
I prefer Cannibals’ Digest anyway…
I don’t want to shock you, Funky Monkey, but you have to leave the box now. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Book Mobile!