YSaC, Vol. 1300: Recycler

2012 July 20
by dan

Here’s one from the “things you should not need to say” department. (Yes, that’s an entire department here, with an assistant vice president and everything. We’ve also got one for cheese.)

Table w/Legs (Ikea Style) Size 63″x32″ height 27″ – $25


Table w/Legs (Ikea Style) Size 63″x32″ height 27″ $25

Now it seems to me that legs are such a standard feature of a table, that there is really no reason to specifically call attention to their existence in most cases.

Kat, who sent this in, points out three possibilities for what we could be attempting to distinguish this table from:

“a) a table with no legs (because yeah, that’s a common problem)
b) a table with flippers
c) a table that just hovers in midair”

Another possibility is that this person is a journalist, and is attempting to imply that this table is so newsworthy that it will continue to monopolize the headlines for more than one 10 femtosecond news cycle.

Or, they’re trying to pitch it to Billy Gibbons.

The mind boggles.

Thanks for the post!

43 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 July 20
    kelli permalink

    Maybe the legs are from various animals and not attached to the table. Would Ikea style legs be just slightly different lengths and be missing various joints and connective tissue?

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 July 20
      CapnMac permalink

      If the ambulatory limbs were from a Scandinavian retail outlet, would they not be “Lëggz” ?

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 July 20

      And there’d always be an extra patella and a handful of metatarsals left in the box.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 July 20
        mud "w/Gams!" slicker permalink

        Yes, these are left over but you usually find that one of the tibia are missing. You settle for a 3-legged stool (the furniture kind, not the dookie kind) instead.

        Adores: 0
        • 2012 July 20
          funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

          I just had a vision of the dookie kind of stool, with legs. Three of them.

          Thanks, Muddy. Erp.

          EDIT: Dookie with three legs, not three dookies with legs.

          ANOTHER EDIT: You know what’s even a worse vision? Three legs, covered in dookie.

          ONE MORE EDIT: Oh Gawd! Why can’t I stop!

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 July 20
          mud "w/Gams!" slicker permalink

          Of course, leave it to the poo-flinger to get hung up on a scatalogical dilemma.

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 July 20

      Of course the legs are not attached, that’s why you get the lovely allen wrenches!

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 July 20

        Windy, in recent days you’ve made references to a plethora of allen wrenches. Should we assume you have an abundance? And, if so, perhaps an ad on Craigslist offering them for sale?

        I’m a helper today. I haz had my coffee. 😀

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 July 20
          mud "w/Gams!" slicker permalink

          She has a Rubbermaid tub of vintage allen wrenches that she keeps next to the cereal and the Crisco.

          Adores: 2
  2. 2012 July 20

    Times were tough, and we had to settle for Ikea-style furniture instead of genuine Ikea. But we were proud people, and we knew that such adversity could only make us stronger.

    Adores: 10
    • 2012 July 20
      CapnMac permalink

      Or, you were fiercely Nørske and would gladly eat re-hydrated powdered Ludefisk by the metric tonne rather than be contaminated by even an iota of that swenske Filth.
      (Hmm, y’figure that music-biz lawyers have prevented the success–by inter-meshed injunction–of both “Scandinavian Nationalism” and “Scandinavian Racism” as bands, cover, or otherwise?)

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 July 20

        I think “fiercely Norwegian” is probably a bit of a misnomer. Most of the Norwegians I have met are to fierce as apples are to supernovas. And now I want apple pie. Crap.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 July 20

          Mmm, apple pie sounds good.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 July 20
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I want supernova pie.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 July 20

          I like pie.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 July 20
          Windrose permalink

          Mmm, Viking apple pie!

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 July 20

          But where are we going to find that many horny horned apples?

          Adores: 2
    • 2012 July 20
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I’ve seen such things at the dollar store. Bookshelves, tables, and tv stands that looked to be of something only the tiniest bit thicker than cardboard and held together with a hope and a prayer

      Adores: 0
  3. 2012 July 20
    Ralph permalink

    If it’s an Ikea-style table, the fact that the legs have been successfully attached is an important detail.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2012 July 20
    Rebecca permalink

    With all the table-related posts on YSaC, it seems like you need a separate Table Department. Or is that handled by the French, providentially?

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 July 20
      CapnMac permalink

      If the French, the pervertionally.

      Adores: 0
    • 2012 July 20
      Digitalaxis permalink

      But who will chair the table department? I’d like to get in on the ground floor.

      Adores: 3
  5. 2012 July 20

    This comment comes with words.

    Adores: 7
  6. 2012 July 20
    CapnMac permalink

    [table design corey]
    This bit of møos droppings, at 63″x32″ x 27″ is an oddball.

    27″ tall is short for being a dining table. It’s too tall for typing, and short for being “desk height” as well.

    The 32″ width is under-good as a dining table, as you cannot really get facing chairs in under–given that it’s only 5′-3 long, you are not going to get chairs under the ends, either. Now, if one needed a table in a dinky apartment “dining area,” one just for show, a body could push in two chairs, one on the one side, and one on the other side, off-set to each other.

    From the dimensions, this is close to what a “standard” desk used to be–60″ wide, 30″ deep, 30″ tall. However, most desk designers include some “hints” about the use, like a pencil drawer. or an extended apron (the bit that the legs connect to) that used to be called a “modesty panel”–that sort of thing.
    <sigh>
    [/corey]

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 July 20

      The reason it’s so short is they kept trying to make the leg lengths even, and hilarity ensued.

      Adores: 6
      • 2012 July 20
        Rebecca permalink

        That sounds like a fair description of my last massage, actually.

        Adores: 0
  7. 2012 July 20
    mud "w/Gams!" slicker permalink

    Table w/Legs (Ikea Style) Size 63″x32″ height 27″ – $25

    The posting so nice we posted it twice.

    Adores: 2
  8. 2012 July 20

    ZZ Top reference FTW!

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 July 20
      mud "w/Gams!" slicker permalink

      *hands you some cheap sunglasses*

      Legos….sheep nose how YouTube them!…

      Adores: 3
    • 2012 July 20
      funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

      And, I kid you not, there’s a track on ZZ’s Afterburner album called “Woke Up With Wood.”

      Table, wooden, woke up with it, see what I did there?

      Adores: 3
  9. 2012 July 20
    Gary permalink

    The table without legs is the much awaited Hover Table! It’s the precursor to the promise made in Back To The Future of the Hover Board and Hover Car. I want one!

    Adores: 2
  10. 2012 July 20

    Dear Ostrimu and Llama-nun, MBBUY: When you return from your yogurt sampling tour, please consider my application to be vice president of the cheese department. If that position is already filled, I would gladly accept the bacon department or the really fast cars department.

    Sincerely,

    Mama Windy.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 July 20

      Y’know, I could doctor up a resume for you so you could be the vice chair of the really fast bacon department.

      Adores: 7
      • 2012 July 20
        funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

        With cheese.

        Adores: 1
    • 2012 July 20

      I volunteer to head up the Lost & Found Misjays Department!

      Adores: 1
  11. 2012 July 20
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Tables without legs are possible. You could suspend the table from the ceiling with some wire or other sturdy hanging thing! http://thesuspendedtable.com/HOME.html

    [/corey]

    Adores: 0
  12. 2012 July 20
    LimeLolly permalink

    I would prefer a table with legs, because a table with tentacles is just silly.

    Adores: 7
  13. 2012 July 20
    Digitalaxis permalink

    The *legs* are Ikea-style particle board legs. The table *itself* is a sturdy axe-hewn and carving-encrusted oaken monstrosity from the Viking Castle Fjorvold, now under forclosure, and as per yesterday’s post, it’s actually 63 feet across.

    Sparky was just warning you.

    Adores: 4
  14. 2012 July 21

    Happy Weekend, C”FBS”J! Punchity Punch Punch!

    Guten Morgen, Tabloids!

    Adores: 0
  15. 2012 July 27

    Iˇve read a few excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how a lot effort you place to create this kind of fantastic informative web site.

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.