Colored Lint
I am willing to give a away NEW, never used, lint. It is from brand new towels, washed and dried in a brand new washer/dryer combo. The lint is four different colors, all beautiful. You can do anything you want with it, I don’t care…i just don’t want to know. Think about all of the options…
LINT!!!
Oh this is fantastic! I can finally build that spaceship I’ve been planning that goes at the speed of lint!
Thanks, Tonya!
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Ah . . . [starts, and cannot finish thought]
Er . . . [starts, and cannot finish thought]
Uh . . . [starts, and cannot finish thought]
[cedes defeat]
I’ve got nothin’.
<fingers in ears: “lalalalalalalalalala” not thinking “Rule 34”>
And now all I can think of is the scene from Striptease where the Congressman (Burt Reynolds) sends his lackey to fetch the stripper’s dryer lint to use for … immoral purposes.
Mustache enhancement?
That would work.
Well, Burt has a toupee up top, maybe he needs another one, um, down there.
Times were hard, and we had long had to get by with used lint, so when we saw the ad for “NEW, never used, lint,” our hearts leapt with joy. Little did we know the terrible cost that those beautiful colors from brand new towels would exact.
How can we be sure it was never used?
Well, I must say it is more colorful than my dryer lint (I only have gray). But in a freezer bag like that it looks like an unidentifiable internal organ.
Kinda looks like roving to me.
I find it giggle-worthy that Sparkles felt the need to put the lint in a plastic baggie – heaven forbid it get all dusty or dirty while she waits for someone to come claim it.
I did notice on Regretsy (I feel like I’ve been cheating on dan and drmk) that someone made a dryer lint Obama wallhanging. But I don’t think those colors would work for that subject. Maybe for Hillary.
I’d say more for the Queen of England. She’s into pastel umbrellas.
I thought of the “I’m a chicken from last May” TV commercial.
[corey] This is old news; for a while on eBay there were dozens of lint listings; now I can only find one. Search Google for more “art”. [/corey]
Pocket lint may be fast, but dryer lint is a different species, more closely related to socks. When lint and socks interbreed, they hybridize into coat hangers, which mysteriously appear in closets.
Things to Do With Lint:
1. Fill ice cream cones, sell to unsuspecting neighborhood children as the next big thing in ice cream!
2. Fashion into sweater for neighbor’s
chi-hoochaw-ee-hoolittle dog, offer for sale.3. Profit!
Pet Dust Bunnies
Safe to click at work. No man nipples.
I think the linky is bad; I’m getting an error message when I click.
This is what I get for googling the Joys of Dryer Lint.
More like this?
Her name is Heidi Hooper for crissakes….
Oh, and here’s a masterpiece
True story: We tell Tron that the ice cream van is “The Music Truck.”
You know, it’s the truck that drives around town playing music for everyone. Everyone knows that, duh!
My sister told her son that, too!
That lint will look awesome on the mantle next to my toenail collection!
A little epoxy, some googly eyes and ta-da! a little voodoo figurine. Or a squirrel if you are so inclined.
Day-Glo Lint Squirrels is IF’s Squirrel Nut Zippers/Greatful Dead mash-up band.
I think Taco’s toenail collection still has the people in them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
That’s the only way to display them properly. You have to have something to grab hold of, otherwise it’s too hard to paint them and make them look all pretty.
I always thought Lindt Chocolates were too moist. This sounds perfect.
…wait, what?
[lint corey] That’s right, I said [lint corey] and I mean it! Ahem. Dryer lint from fresh, new, fluffy towels is excellent for birds to use as nesting materials. But do not use lint if there is any chance hair could be mixed in. There’s a huge possibility (see Murphy, laws) that the hair could get wrapped around the legs of tiny baby birds and cause injury, deformities, or death. [/lint corey]
[Survivorman corey] You can also use dryer lint as a firestarter. This doesn’t work if it gets wet, so make sure to keep your lint drier. [/Lint corey and painful wordplay]
It’s good for birdies even if it’s been washed in detergent?
Yes, as long as it was then rinsed, too. They rarely eat it, just lay eggs and poop on it. I use white vinegar in place of any fabric softener, so it gets the most of the soap residue out of the clothes and thus, the lint.
Sparky thought his toupee was undetectable until some birds made a nest with it.
Those poor brand new towels.
[matt]I know, right? How would you like to have the lint sucked and beaten out of you?!?![/matt]
:giggles:
Monkey’s gonna be sorry she missed this.
*sniff* I miss you guys at work SO MUCH. When I get caught up on paperwork (and I feel brave enough) I need to go talk to the IT guy, maybe I can use my monkey-persuasions on him and get this site unblocked there. I bet donuts would work. Yeah. And I’ll wear my sexy monkey outfit. And heels.
ANYTHING FOR YOU GUYS!!!
Not only that, all of the nutritional value would be washed out. That would make the towels near worthless for hitchhiking.
When I was growing up my mother had a bad habit of forgetting to clean the lint trap between loads, so whoever got stuck having to fold clothes that day would be assigned lint filter duty as well. One time when my sister was on laundry duty, she pulled the stratified lint out, rolled it up, tore it in half and told me “One day I will own a hamster that looks like this, and his name will be Moibi.” And sure enough, she found a hamster that looked EXACTLY like that wad of lint. I had to share a room with her and that stinking hamster for the next two years until I started college and moved out. And she did indeed name the little monster Moibi.
That being said, I think you would be hard pressed to find a matching hamster to this particular lint wad.
I dunno, anything’s possible…
Thirty dollars?!? A Sharpie only costs three and comes in a variety of designer colors.
Quick, somebody alert the National Lint Project!
I’d do it myself, but I gave up lint for Lent.
D’oh! DDD, I waited all day for a chance to say that, and you go and snark better than I do! *pouts* *rolls eyes at OMV*
Gee, it’s rare that I beat anybody to anything. By the time the sun begins to peek up over my horizon, some of you are already eating lunch. Seize the snark!
BTW, my friends* call me Ducky.
*and by “friends”, I mean a motley group** of strangers in cyberspace.
**and by “group”, I mean maybe two or three.
*catches Windy’s eyes and puts them in box*
Windy, you’ll get these back after class.
I actually went to that website early this morning but I had nothing. That’s what’s so great about this website. There’s always somebody here that has something.
Like you have my eyes, but they haven’t worked right for years. Good thing I am a touch typist, innit?
Too bad it’s not wool or silk. The possibilities are, unfortunately, endless.
Al Sharpton holding on line #2….
Well at least he said the colors are all beautiful.
Thank God for Sparky! Now I can finally fix my embarrassing belly button lint deficiency. And in beautiful colors no less.
You shall be the prettiest llama in the neighborhood!
You know, I’ve been ’round these parts a looooooooooooong time.
And yet today I find myself utterly amazed at the variety and volume of lint-related
crapart on the Intertubes.My faith in the lack of humanity is utterly restored.
It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like the lint-trap of my heart is filled to overflowing.
:urp:
And has possibly caught fire.
*wipes tear*
Damn, girl! That’s some fecking poetic shit right there.
You know, I could see Grannie Monkey saving dryer lint over a period of months and using the collected dryer regurgitations to stuff a pillow. I’m not even kidding, she would SO do that. She also washed toothpicks and dental floss and plastic baggies and had a huge aluminum foil ball.
She was Green waaaaaaaay before it was cool – like in the ’40s.
Are times really so hard that people need to be crafty with garbage? Or is it they just can’t reign in the craft urges until the price of yarn goes back down?
*Looks around the Snark Lounge. Nothing but crickets*
*No one will notice if I punch out now instead of in the morning*
Hey Hey CJ Give us all you got!
Tell a tale, sing a song, keep it running hot!
Hey Hey CJ, People want to know!
Do you like your snarking fast, or do you take it slow?
Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Time of Day, Ms. Hooper!