YSaC, Vol. 1365: Home, crap home.
2012 October 19
Free Mobile Home Burned
FREE YOU MUST HAUL COMPLETE with everything touching Mobil home DON’T call me unless you want it You can see it at the address listed and I will not help at all good scrap metal
Why would you use this for scrap metal of all things? It looks like a perfectly great little place to live! Just throw a tarp over that one spot, a little paint, a little spackle, and it’s as good as new! Thank goodness they purchased that insurance policy from “Mutual of Steve.”
Thanks for the great real estate tip, Jodi!
Optimism, thy name are sparkii.
The truck you need is a specialized bit of kit. You do not just fire up the old pickem-up-truck and hitch up and drive away.
Then there is that business of the need for permits to haul a trailer on public roads (and how those permits are full of pesky conditionals on the trailer being road-worthy and have no bits likely to fall off in transit.
Lastly, that there is not really that much metal in one of these., they are mostly framed of wood.
Sigh
(I’ve had to clear these things off newly-purchased rural property–it’s a chore.)
I believe Capn’s right.
[corey]Could use the unreal expectations tag. The cost of moving it intact would likely be more than what you might get from it. Taking the age of the mobile home into account, likely has aluminum wiring, aluminum siding (you might want to build your own storage shed with some of the siding*) Steel frame, likely plastic bathroom fixtures, this thing isn’t going to net much. Cutting it up where it’s at would be better than hauling it somewhere else before cutting it up. With the cost of the gas to haul (likely in several trips) scrap to the recycling center and the non-recyclables to the dump, the gas to cut it up, and the gas from those cheap burritos you had to get at the gas station because this job is going to take a long time, it might be more lucrative to go dumpster diving for old newspapers and aluminum cans.[/corey]
*or likely not.
Likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, nooooot!
Touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, MOBIL!
Likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, nooooot!
Touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, touching, MOBIL!
Likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, likely, nooooot!
Isn’t the mobile home touching the ground, too?
That would explain this ad I found on the intergalatic CraigsList;
My first house was a VERY small trailer. My uncle actually hauled it behind his half ton pickup truck to get it to the trailer park. It was only marginally more livable than the one pictured here, considering there was no heat, no water, no electric except in the bathroom, and a big hole in the living room floor. Not much fun to live in, but the only way I could get financial aid for college was if I had my own place. Fortunately, I was next door to my parent’s house, so I was able to take showers and eat over there.
Cannot but help hearing this in the voice of the hillbillies on the Simpsons.
“Hey, Cletus, yur meth lab dun bunrt. Whachergonnaduit?”
“Dunno, Craigslist, mebbe . . . ”
Turgit practiss.
Couldn’t hit the side of a mobile home if he was inside and the door was shut.
Text or call Babs Johnson at xxx-xxx-xxxx. No communications via USPS, please.
Watch out, you might get what you’re after.
My very own eyesore! Oh Sparky, you’ve made me the happiest girl in the trailer park!
My bad, actually that should be:
Oh m’gawd, muh ver’ best (unintelligible)! Sparkums, c’mere ya lil’ (smoker’s cough)
Strip it down to the frame, throw some hardware cloth over it, presto! An aviary we can tow behind the winterbagel! I’ll take it!
This must be that new-fangled “air condition” all the gals down at the beauty parlor keep talking about.
Yeah, they like to call it the Burn ‘n Blow.
CJ, third time this week you have ended up in the box. If I didn’t know better, I would think conspiracy. 8)
In other news, Capn Mac has earned the Special Lifetime Achievement of Most Words Posted in Comments in a Single Day! (This may not be factual, but it’s no less well deserved.)
Awwwww, shucks folks I is just lucky.
I’m going to guess meth lab explosion.
An older version (think Lucy and Desi’s The Long, Long Trailer) of one of these was on the property Mr. Eyebrows and I bought a few years ago.
Yes, we used it for target practice. And as a backdrop for spookiness our first Halloween here. Then had it broken down on site, salvaged all recyclables and remainder went in dumpster. Hardest thing to get rid of was water heater.
Total Cost: About $1,000
Total Fun: Priceless
And how, pray tell, are you going to enforce that, sparkster? If’n I roll up to the mess, hitch up and start to drive away(yes, oversimplified, but go with me here…), are you going to run after me, screaming at me to “Come back here and take this damn porch!!!”?
♬ Trailers for sale or rent…. ♫♪
… Free, because now it’s bent.
Sparky wants you to take this
out on the road. ♪♫
He’s such a low-class toad!
And is it too late to apply for the administrative assistant’s job opening from yesterday? I am totally qualified.
I have years of work experience juggling just the diverse job-related activities that this position requires. I can sip from a glass of champagne, play Words with Friends and tan to perfection simultaneously.
In addition, I have excellent delegation skills, specifically, waving over le garcon (see…French!) to place a drink order, how to sweep beach sand into a Zen-like pattern and instructions on the fine art of umbrella positioning.
An accomplished bullshitter, I bring a variety of skills to the table in order to achieve universal goals. These include buzz phrases in many languages (e.g. “You are mucho grande y muy importante” for the Spanish-speaking countries), on-demand crocodile tears and many U.S. $1 bills. I get the job DONE.
In short, I am perfect for this position. It would be a mistake not to hire me!
Thank you for your time and consideration of my application. I can be reached anytime, day or night, via the YSaC network.
Sincerely,
Madame Eyebrows
“An accomplished bullshitter”
Ooh, a fly attractant. You’re hired.
And yet you’re not in politics?
Dave, I am one of the behind-the-scene people who really
spin the stinkdo all the work while the figureheads with the titles get all the credit.You’re hired!
Yay! Thanks, CJ!
*humming*
All my bags are packed.
I’m ready to go….
Wah-hell’s bell’s! I’ve seen inhabitated trailers that make this one look like a mansion!
CJ, the trailer I referred to up above was actually inhabited by a little really old lady at the time we purchased this property. The previous owners were collecting rent from her. Unbelievable! After we bought, we contacted the daughter. She came out and took her mother home to live, thankfully.
On the rez we delivered coats and shoes to, they would have porches built onto the trailers, the trailers would get repoed, and then the whole family would live in the porch with blankets up over the missing wall to keep the snow out. And somehow this was considered “better” than living in the traditional adobe buildings because they were “modern.”
There are few rhymes for CJ
and it makes a poet grave.
But luck is on my side
in the person of snarker Dave!
Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Trailer Trashers!
“Mobil home,” as in, a little Exxon-Mobil made this possible.