JUST THE SPEGITTE SAUSE CHEIF BOYARDI IN A CAN
I JUST WANT THE SAUSE IN THE CAN CHIEF BOYARDI. DONT TELL ME WALMART OR SOME
MAJOR FOOD CHAIN I CHECKED. SOMEONE MUST KNOW THANKS
We’re going all out for Thanksgiving! We’re gettin’ the sauce from a can tonight, kids! And it’s made by a genoooine Indian Chief — it says so right here on the label. Just like the Pogroms had at the Last Supper.
Thanks, Brenna!
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This haz a sad on so many levels.
First, that somebody convinced Spark’ that Chef Boyardi is available as sauce only.
Or that they gave Spark’ the late Aunt Edna’s sisters’ nephew’s neighbor’s boy down the street late Aunt Gerty’s holiday recipe that requires said sauce. And that, in the nature of such things, an important step of “you’re supposed to strain out all the non-sauce bits from elebenty cases of cans, first (what do you mean I left out the baking powder in the bourbon sugar cookie recipe? everyone knows you add baking powder! you added how much bourbon? Do you had a tipple problem. eh? You just go an’ sit down [bins perfectly good, if 110 proof, cookies])
Ah yes…the sause that Chief Boyardi – of the little known Smooshypasta tribe in northern Saskatchewan – yes, I do seem to recall that sause was sold in finer food stores for a time.
Haven’t seen it in years.
Maybe you should check eBay Sparky. If it’s not there, you could always pay $62 for a box of Twinkies.
And here I was feeling a little bad for using canned beans instead of cooking my own. (Vegan, gluten-free thanksgiving at my place! Bring your allergies and a bottle of wine!)
Isn’t spigitte sause just another name for water?
Where can I get sauce Magritte in a can? Wal-Mart doesn’t carry it.
I just love that sauce! It screams freshness but with just a hint of green apple and bowler hat.
I need the sauce from Chef Boyardi.
It’s essential for my party.
But without pasta, just the sauce.
Don’t ask me why, it’s just because.
CHIEF SAUCE!
It’s going to be an interesting Thanksgiving indeed.
Would that be “hot pressed” or “cold pressed” Chief Sauce? (do not want to know if there is Extra Virgin . . . )
Do you have Cheif Boyardi in a can?
OH MY GOD!
Beefaroni is made with people. PEOPLE!
Yes, Beefaroni is made with the help of hard-working Americans, like these factory workers we totally didn’t fire right after we finished shooting this commercial, and enjoyed with friends. Friends with poor taste buds. Friends you’re trying to clear out of your house because it’s Cyber Monday already. FRIENDS LIKE US (TM).
It’s spegitte SOUSE. Shredded snouts ahoy!
I think I need to get soused after reading this post. Pass the amaretto coffee slices.
Oh, Sparky was so close to being unintentionally right – the original “chief” was named Boiardi, he changed it on the label so us uncouth ‘Muricans wouldn’t have as much trouble pronouncing it.
Then there’s the rest of the ad, which is just a slice of failure pie.
I do not like that pie!
I like pie.
How about green eggs and ham?
You take a ramekin, butter it thoroughly, and add breadcrumbs.
Then spoon in the CB to 4/5 full, then top with shredded mozzerella (which can be dusted with grated romano or parm or a bit more of the bread crumbs.
350º oven for 20 minutes.
It’s a crustless sort of deconstructed pie.
If a person happened to have a bolognaise and some cooked pasta instead of the CB, it’s really much better.
Family-style variant–use pie pan, mix your pasta-sauce combo with riccota, spoon into greased pie pan, top with pop-can pizza crust. 350-360º for 18-20.
:writes down recipe:
:turns notepad upside down and then sideways:
“Butter the Teddy Ruxpin, add a browncoat. Spoon with a radio and top with a shredded mouse trellis and grated porn.”
Jeez, my Mom is right. I do have the handwriting of a serial killer.
Furthermore, Boiardi originally made his mark selling his sauces to his customers. Once he’d worked out how to package (and market) entire take-out meals, the rest is conglomerate history.
So, Sparky’s a few decades out of date… and badly in need of rearranging those scrabble tiles.
Happy Thanksgiving all!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RKjKIJ2Eiw
Sorry, I only have Prince Albert in a can.
The less said about Prince Albert’s can, the better.
I could stand to hear a little more. 8)
Make it Prince William and I’m all ears.
If I could remember how EB taught me to include linkies – and if I could be arsed to do so – I could link you to a picture of Prince Harry’s can. And his boyardi, too. It this is a family show.
<url> [http:linky here] “Your Text” </url>
(I think)
[http://literarytravesty.wordpress.com/]test
EDIT: Nope, that doesn’t seem to work.
I think it’s
[a href=”insert web address here”]text[/a]
but replace [ and ] with angle brackets.
Yay Ghosty–she’s so smart, remembering the “a href” part I clean forgot.
Even if I remembered the “&” code for angle brackets–& lt ; and & gt ;, viz, < >
*Queues up labels on printer*
Oh. Look. I have found an entire case of Cheif Boyardi Spegitte Sauce Only! I can let you have it for two bucks per can.
*applause*
What a beautifully evil and enterprising mind you have.
This may be a bad time to pick nits about taste in food (after all, everyone prefers cranberry sauce out of that can, not because it’s any good, but because it’s what we grew up with) but what in tarnation is Sparky expecting to find?
A mom and pop store that’s the only remaining buyer of Chef Boyardee just-the-sauce (and it sells well enough that Con-Agra continues to make it just for that store)?
A neighborhood collective that’s been straining the evil sauce out of all those cans of pasta into a vat out back?
A quick scan of Wikipedia indicates that Hunt’s is also a Con-Agra business. Anyone with an inkjet printer and a can of Hunt’s Spaghetti Sauce to relabel might literally be giving Sparky what he’s looking for.
[corey]
A 10-second Google search yielded the exact item Cheif Spark-ar-dee is looking for, by the case even.
[/corey]
Sparky don’t want no Amaze-on. I checked.
That’s because he kept applying Amaze-on on the wrong part of his body.
Gotta get the Chef sauce somehow . . .
I like the way the label reads “with meat”, and gives no indication what type of ‘meat’ is inside.
Unicorn?
Sparkly vampire (one can only hope)?
The possibilities are endless.
I will not speculate on what the “meat” might be. I will not speculate on what the “meat” might be. I will not speculate on what the “meat” might be. I will not … DAMMIT! I SPECULATED!!!!!!! Wiiiiiiillllbuuuuuuuuuurrrrr
How do these Sparkies learn to use Craigslist but not Google?
Well, given the speeling skilz and desired items; whether or not sparkii can be said to actually “use” cl any better than an equivalent number of simian with keyboards . . .
Oh, wait–Snap! This is one of those preverted quinky “pro services” so-licity-tations, ain’t it? Eeeeeewwwwwuuuueeeee!!11!!
Okay, so I checked the internets
a ‘cheif’ is – ‘When smoking weed, taking more than an appropriate number of hits of a blunt (primarily one that is not filled with your weed)’ or ‘a mug or fool, a weak person. used primarily in west and northwest london.’
‘sause’ is – ‘a slang on 4chan used as a synonym for a certain bodily fluid’ O.o ewwwwwwww
The people need to not know this information!
I keep thinking of Tim & Eric. “Spagett!!”
Wow. Now I’m totally picturing this guy with a strainer pouring in can after can of beefaroni in to separate “just the sauce ” out from the noodles and mystery meat.
*gets out ultraviolet light to find “sause”*
*gets out ultracleaning supplies*
Boy are dees stains ever going to come out?
I hope they’re gone before the chief snarker gets in.
Tell me what this sause is all about.
Why does it need to come from within a tin?
*puts away ultracleaning supplies*
I hope that’s good enough.
kelli, you don’t have to stand in line for this one: Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ettore Boiardi!