YSaC, Vol. 1401: Lookin’ to this guy to save me
2012 December 10
Regular reader OMV sends this:
i want to learn to fly
i want to learn to fly
email if u have imfo to lead me to reaching this goal i work full time but i am intrusted in learning to fly
i have a gi bill and want to use it to get a skill and flying seems like a usefull one
Well – there’s the Douglas Adams approach: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Or there’s the Monty Python approach – just hover on a wire over your desk, and make sure you have a gap in your hoop.
Or there’s always a trebuchet, I suppose.
Thanks for the post!
Oh, oh, oh! I suppose mater thought airplanes were all too common!
I see Ron Obvious has decided to move on from Channel-jumping and cathedral-eating…
[dons moustache française]
Nous voyons ici le luxe avion moutons . . .
It seems to me that basic grammatical skills might be a wiser choice for Sparky than flying skills.
[aviation corey]
The process of becoming a licensed pilot in the US not only requires precision in radio communications and in navigation, but also requires written proof of that competence on exams.
Further, in practice, one is not allowed to ad lib over the radio to busy and harried Air Traffic Controllers. Who are rather patient with persons “rusty” at procedure. But, are perfectly able, even willing, to drop a dime to the FAA complaint line about uncaring or willfully ignorant licensees.
Most General Aviation desks have a tale about some bozo who thought that they were “above” such pettiness and found themselves grounded, and their a/c tied down on expensive tarmac, and no AAA to come tow them away.
[/corey]
I beeeeeeleeeeeeeeeeev I kin flyyyyyy!!
I beeeeeeeeeleeeeeeeeee I kin *SPLAT*!!
“He’s one of those who knows that life/Is just a leap of faith/
Spread your arms and hold you breath/And always trust your cape ”
No capes!
Ahem. Reference here is to Guy Clark’s song of the same name, which has been attributed to observing Django Walker at play in the Jerry Jeff household.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6bZ37nexSY
Next, you’ll be insisting that aviators have more qualifications than a hat reading “
Lion TamerPilot” and a number of years in The City as Chartered Accountants!“Well – there’s the Douglas Adams approach: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
Hey! That really works. I’ve tried it.
No wait, that’s how my face got this way and my teeth got broken. I just couldn’t miss. Hit every time. I should play the lottery.
I’m a big proponent of the Icarus Method.
It’s like The Crystal Method, but with less electronica and more Homeric odes.
And just the right amount of wax.
Mudsy, I read that as you were a “propeller” of the Icarus Method. And, I thought, that would have helped Icarus immensely.
Daedalus was going to try that method next.
Unfortunately, the propellor was actually made of paper.
If I recall “Dumbo” correctly, you need a magic feather and a mouse in a uniform. And some ginormous ears.
And it helps a lot if you get liquored up for your first try, which is true for many things.
Damn, so close. I only teach lessons in falling with style.
Taco, does the advanced course cover calculating how much fireworks propellant you need to strap to your back to add time and horizontal distance to the fall? How about compensating for payload, such as cowboys and/or their steeds?
It also covers the theory of rockets, per their propensity to forcefully ignite prior to detonation.
I want to learn how to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
You just need fairy dust and good thoughts; so grind up a few fairies and think about dead fairies. You should be flying in no time.
I DID believe in fairies! I did, I did, I did!
I heard the Slyph Anti-Defamation League was protesting that business where you were supposed to get the clap to show belief . . .
Jeez, I didn’t think Delta’s website was THAT difficult to figure out.
I’ve only seen the opening few minutes of the movie Kick Ass, but I think Sparky might be able to provide an analysis of the opening scene and what went wrong as a thesis. If Spark is ambitious, maybe there’s PhD material in designing and testing modifications to the outfit to turn it from a failed attempt to a successful one. Of course a test failure would terminate this person’s education, but maybe the next student could learn from said failure and modify the original thesis study.
Spelling is a useful skill for flying; you want to intrust the autopilot with getting you to Oakland, not Auckland.
Particularly if you only have gas enough to get to Lawton from OKC . . .
Sparky could stalk our daughter. Both Hubs and Son-in-law (former Army, built like a tank) will help him with those flying lessons!
Check with Wile E Coyote, I think ACME has a kit for that.
“He’d fly through the air with the greatest of ease,
That daring young man on the flying trapeze.”
Having a bill is a good start, but I find the wings play a larger role in the actual process.
Yes, the hat reading “
Lion TamerPilot” ought have a bill.Dear Sparky,
I assume you meant you have been “entrusted” with the task of learning to fly. Please tell whoever entrusted you with this task to see me immediately. His judgment sucks and I am concerned that person might be endangering society by doing other things he is unqualified for, like crossing the street without an adult.
Maybe you should try swimming instead.
“email me if you have Institute of Marine Fisheries and Oceanology to lead me to reaching this goal” does not make much sense either for flying lessons or grammatically.
Nor does “email me if you have in my f—ing opinion to lead me to reaching this goal” make any sense either. I really hope you are not asking for nookie lessons.
Ooh, pulling double duty today. A submission and in the box. I hope the guy in the ad isn’t joining Digi and I in the box.
Don’t worry, I’m not turning off the gravity, I’m just putting the box in a parabolic free-fall dive.
Given that the aircraft that actually does that is affectionately called the vomit comet,i will not be making any box-worthy comments today. I do not want to be in there tomorrow.
On a lighter note, there are indeed plenty of small companies at regional airports who give flight lessons, many of which can be found on Google… My wife bought me a single-flight introductory lesson for my birthday last year, and it was amazingly fun. I didn’t do takeoff or landing, they just let me handle the plane in the middle.
If only the cost of the complete set of lessons weren’t upwards of $6000…
Somehow I don’t think Sparky is going to want to take the time or expense to get the full license.
I have this suit that can totally help with that, but I lost the instructions.
Sparky is a veteran; he probably enlisted in the hope of being a pilot: “I want to fly jets!”
The military response: “Got a college degree? No? You’re going to wash jets.”
=======================
Old joke:
Ole and Sven went to the bank for $10,000 loans. The manager asked what kind of work they did. “I’m a pilot.” said Sven, so he got the money.
Then Ole wanted $10,000. “And what do you do for a living?” asked the manager. “I’m a lumberjack,” he replied.
“Well, I can’t give a lumberjack that kind of money,” said the manager.
“Hey, what’s the deal with that? If I don’t cut the wood, Sven can’t pilot.”
One, Digi, Two, Digi, Three, Digi, Four! How did all of you get in the box? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Roger Ovuer!