YSaC, Vol. 1420: Your time is near, the mission’s clear

2013 January 4

Gallery intern


[Location] Gallery looking for a intern to work two or three days a week.
This is not a payed Poisson.
I am willing to work around school and or other job squeals .

This is NOT a paid Poisson. You will be expected to derive the form of Laplace’s equation in the presence of a non-zero charge distribution for free. In addition, there will be no compensation for deriving the discrete probability distribution for independent events with a known average rate. Further, while we are willing to work around your job squeals, no matter how noisy, you will nonetheless be required to describe the negative ratio of transverse to axial strain without pay.

But it could be worse. It’s not like we’re expecting you to be a pro bono Euler, for Pete’s sake. That would be inhumane.

39 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 January 4
    robin permalink

    NOT a payed Poisson? Well that probably rules out Nemo and Wanda, then. Free Willy, perhaps?

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 January 4

      I think we pooped enough Free Willys yesterday, thank you very much. 8)

      Adores: 9
      • 2013 January 4
        mud "static noise" slicker permalink

        Sounds Phishy to me.

        *Oh look! Bubbles!*

        Adores: 3
    • 2013 January 4
      One Moving Violation permalink

      One man’s fish

      Edit: Do I need to apologize for this?

      Adores: 1
  2. 2013 January 4

    Fins aside, if the poisson isn’t getting paid, no wonder it squeals about the job so much.

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 January 4
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Ahh, and now ve observe the elusive pigfeesh in itz natural habeetat.

      Adores: 5
  3. 2013 January 4

    It’s only quarter-after eight and I’ve already had my first nerdgasm.

    Thank you, Dan.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2013 January 4
    Ralph permalink

    If your other job squeals, it may involve pigs. I don’t if an unpaid internship is any better, but the old adage is that one man’s meat is another man’s poisson.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 January 4
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      The squeals of an unpaid cochon, no doubt. Sparky is mixing meataphors.

      Adores: 5
    • 2013 January 4
      Tankerbell permalink

      We are not allowed to squeal at my job. We have to go outside on our breaks to the squealing area, which is in the back by the dumpsters. Plus, it’s all gnarly and gross because no one ever cleans it.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 January 4
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Maybe your company can hire an intern to clean the area.

        Adores: 7
  5. 2013 January 4

    [Jason]It’s really hard to differentiate these bad posts from the joke posts. Honestly, I think we need to take better care to be discrete where we might normally distribute these blog posts.

    Really, if we look back at all the cumulative distributions we’ve done in the past, I think you’ll find them riddled with posts of divergent quality.[/Jason]

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 January 4
      mud "static noise" slicker permalink

      [jason] This is obviously a joke lol [/jason]

      Adores: 7
  6. 2013 January 4
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Well, ok, but don’t be surprised if the candidates are all a little fishy.

    Adores: 5
  7. 2013 January 4
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Pro Bono Euler is my double-act Atticus and Abacus cover band. And yes, we do sing in German.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 January 4
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      Ben Stein on lead vocals?

      Euler? Euler? Euler?

      Adores: 8
    • 2013 January 4
      HamCan permalink

      Job Squeals is IF’s Men at Work cover band.

      Adores: 5
  8. 2013 January 4
    LimeLolly permalink

    Totally OT, but I came across this just now and it seemed appropriate for today’s title. I couldn’t remember if kelli or ghostie said this:

    ‘You know you’ve made a bad decision somewhere along the way if a large group of angry people waving flaming sticks and farming implements factors into your day’s plans’

    Either way, it’s still a keeper.

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 January 4

      Sounds like something I’d say.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 January 4

        Googled it and yep – me from my sarajean80 days. It’s from the post with the questionable birdhouse.

        http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=5963#comment-91940

        Adores: 1
        • 2013 January 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          You’re still awesome.

          I’d stalk you, but frankly, I’m swamped. 🙂

          Adores: 5
        • 2013 January 4

          You’re pretty fabulous yourself, LL ♥

          Just as well, this is my week to stalk OMV. I can pencil you in for the week after next, though.

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 January 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Aw man, that’s the week I’ll be starting a war with the Guilderians.

          How is 7 weeks from now?

          Adores: 3
  9. 2013 January 4
    Tankerbell permalink

    I initially read this as “galley” intern. What with the Poisson and all, I was feeling all piratey. Started yelling “Aargh! Avast, Ye swabs! Tits aside! Secure the rigging!” Wish is noticed my error before I broke out the rum. We have casual Friday, but its not that casual.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 January 4

      So I’ve been swabbing the poop deck for nothing?!?

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 January 4
        CapnMac permalink

        That probably depends on weather or not you are repelling borders.

        Adores: 2
        • 2013 January 4

          :sniffs:

          Well, I could use a quick wash-up but I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was repellent. ‘Sides, the closest Borders closed months ago.

          Adores: 6
      • 2013 January 4
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        Adores: 4
        • 2013 January 4
          Demon Duck of Doom permalink

          I find that repelling boarders is a wise practice regardless of the weather.

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 January 4
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, it can make a difference if they are just unbattening the hatches as opposed to violating the poop deck.

          Adores: 4
        • 2013 January 4
          Tankerbell permalink

          Especially if they want to board via the poop deck. What? But I don’t wanna go to the corner!

          Hey, lookit this new coffee table!

          Adores: 3
  10. 2013 January 4
    tigprincess permalink

    This is a perfect example of ‘less is more’. Had Sparky left it with just the first sentence then fine. However, he had to let the current intern, Moby, complete the ad and hence we decline into confusion. Never let an intern eat fishpaste.

    Adores: 4
  11. 2013 January 4
    One Moving Violation permalink

    If I had a Barracuda, I could squeal the tires around the school parking lot.

    Adores: 6
    • 2013 January 4

      If I had a barracuda, I’d need a bigger fishtank.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 January 4
        CapnMac permalink

        Is it bad that my first thought of you having a Barracuda was I’d probably prefer your singing to that of Ann Wilson’s of late? (But, I may be biased from the Kennedy Center Awards show.)

        Adores: 1
    • 2013 January 4
      Tankerbell permalink

      if I had a barracuda, I’d squeal in the morning
      I’d squeal in the evening
      All over this la-and…

      Adores: 4
  12. 2013 January 4
    One Moving Violation permalink

    That muskie tuna I smelt gave me a haddock. So I won’t be naming my poisson.

    Adores: 2
  13. 2013 January 4
    Astro permalink

    Job squeals are the seventy-fourth best sort of squeals, I’ll have you know.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2013 January 5

    May bees be upon you, drkm, and here’s a very gentle and reverential punchity punch punch for your card. Please don’t change my grade!

    Good Morning, Workaholics Anonymous!

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.