YSaC, Vol. 1433: Facticity and authenticity.
2008 Green Accent
Hello, This is kind of a long shot but I am looking for my 2008 Accent. It has been reported missing with the police. I misparked it about a month ago and the car still is not found….. Not sure if it is still sitting in an APARTMENT parking spot or if it has been stolen.
It is green, has a SUBLIME sticker on the back, windows are tinted, if the car hasn’t been broken into there are tassles on the mirror, and also zebra seat covers. If you have seen this car in your neighborhood or a friends neighborhood please contact me.
Also, Its parked in the back of a neighborhood, next to a gate and a garage i think. (That is all the info I can remember so please don’t text me asking for cross streets because I DONT KNOW) I am just looking for somebody who has seen it in the neighborhood not somebody who wants to look for it.
$200 dollar reward if you have it sitting in your complex. I HAVE THE LICENCE PLATE # so you can see if its the same car, also, i have proper ID, title, and key to prove it is my car upon arrival.
Thanks for any info.
This starts off as a heartwarming story about a guy looking for his missing hipster-green car. But as you keep reading, there are a couple of things to consider:
1. This is in a very large metropolitan area characterized by urban/suburban sprawl. It’s not like this is in a small town with a population of 2,000 people, where Mr. Jenkins will know by Thursday if you bought Metamucil on Monday.
2. Sublime. Graduation tassles. Zebra seat covers. We’re dealing with a bro here, folks.
3. He misparked the car. In other words, he parked somewhere and then got so drunk that he couldn’t remember where he left his bromobile. (At least I hope it was in that order.)
And he still can’t remember, even a month later. He remembers a gate and a garage, and that’s it. At some point he had to wonder to himself, “What bar was I at?” or “Who was I with?” or “Why did I wake up wearing a sombrero and a wetsuit?”. But there are apparently no answers to those questions, so he’s left with, “Which gate and garage did I park by?” And there are no answers to that question, either. Existentialism is SUCH a drag.
Thanks, a storm in the form of a girl!