YSaC, Vol 1442: Post
Hello visitor! This was sent in by regular reader:
!!! END TABLE !!! BY ARTIST -$500
ARTIST PAINTED BY “EDC”. 26.5″W x 15.5″D x 25″H. SERIOUS INQ ONLY. CALL FOR DETAIL PICS ETC. ###-###-#### FRED
Yes! It’s an art! By an artist!! And not only that, but the artist THEMSELVES was painted by “EDC.”
Now, I’m not sure in which sense artist was painted by EDC. On the one hand, it could be that artist is a fictional creation, drawn purely by this EDC character, and who in turn created the end table within their own fictional milieu. Imagine a portrait of a carpenter building an end table, painted by EDC.
Of course, that means the end table is fictional too, and is therefore probably not terribly useful for holding up that “Complete History of Spuds” coffee table book you got for Groundhog Day.
I suppose you could have some sort of horrible Escher-esque recursive loop where artist is fictional, but has somehow managed nonetheless to create a real end table, but leaving that possibility aside, we’re drawn to the inescapable conclusion that artist is real, and EDC has, for whatever reason, covered them in paint.
Which is fine. As long as artist didn’t get any paint on the end table itself, I don’t really care if they’ve been graffitied by Étienne de Crécy, or the Eurovision Dance Contest, or whatever.
Thanks for the link, Ross!
*quickly grabs all the crayons and places them on furniture*
Next time the grand-chilluns is over to the house Ima turn ’em loose and make a fortune!
Way ahead of you, CJ; Tron has made sure that I’ve got no less than 3 pieces of highly artistic furniture ready to sell!
Save some for Vash!
He has thoughtfully contributed to your future retirement fund, someday you’ll be able to sell his artistically altered furniture and move somewhere warmer than Cheeseland. Like maybe Ohio.
That’s better than my son’s elder care plan for the TankParents, which he has informed us is to chain us in his basement.
I don’t have a basement so the GhostParents will have to be happy with a spacious and spider-infested utility closet. I have promised not to poke them with sharpened sticks for the amusement of my party guests.
I had a hexagon shaped, glass-topped end table. I’m down-sizing and ended up giving it away. Silly me! I could have asked an Empty-headed Dumb Cuckoo to paint it and charged $500 for it! I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need to get rid of its mate.
The END is near! ^see?
!!! END TABLE !!! NOW!!!!
Why? Being ugly furniture isn’t a crime. If it was, most of the contents of my house would be confiscated.
Silly Sparky, it’s </table>
The light lines represent existential angst, and the dark lines represent man’s inhumanity to man. Either that, or EDC is Sparky’s cat.
Well obviously — the table appears to be French Prevential, and the artist is Edouard du Chat.
Excitable Destructive Child
You’ve met my son, then.
FIFY
(remember Vash is a capacitor building up mischief “charge” just waiting to discharge–with Tron acting as a sort of transistor, when not a capacitor himself; what you will need, as DM, is many more D20S)
That’s some interesting proportions on that artist…
Sparky likes big brushes and he cannot lie.
It’s a “Q”.
See, I totally understand art.
I think it’s a lasso trying to wrangle the elusive pastel smudges
It looks a little bit like the illustrations in Health class when they were teaching us how babies are made.
(In a factory in South Ish.)
I think it’s ugly.
I totally stand under art.
Does Mikethulu know about this thing with Art?
Fred, Fred, Fred! What have I told you about trying to sell post-Super Bowl scarred furniture on CL?
“Can I help you find something?” The Spencer’s clerk asks.
“Paint,” replies Sparky. “I need all the body paint you have for my masterpiece!”
And a jumbo paint roller.
Wait, “Serious Ink only”? (Have to allow for sparkii-speelink.)
So, this is a table covered in the skin of EDC, Clarice?
Looks like the Red and Tits Aside table had a babby.
Somebody close the door, the furniture is breeding again!
I thought it was the artist that was selling this based on the headline. But the artist appears to be someone different than the seller. Or maybe Fred is the artist formerly known as EDC.
Dunno … I find that the artist’s work lacks depth.
Yep. Some deep gouges with a house key probably would not make this worse.
*looks disdainfully over glasses at table*
I find it shallow and pedantic. And to attempt to glorify it by noting that the artist was painted by EDC… sooooo derivative. Now if the table was an original EDC, well, then you might have something. This Fred is clearly trying to evoke EDC in his Caffienated Toddler period, but it’s not working. Now where is that useless waiter with the canapes? They never serve anything decent at these things.
Something tells me this is not artwork. Just a hunch. Pretty sure someone’s kid just spent a little too much time unsupervised and that table was the victim.
CJ and Hammy, I bet you had a religious experience in the box! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Miro Mesa!