YSaC, Vol. 1443: Boola Boola
Looking for taco lady that did not leave number.Its me BULLDOG.
I AM TRYING TO FIND TACO LADY THAT CALLED AND LET VOICE MAIL ABOUT A JOB.YOU DID LEAVE AN NUMBER SO COULD TEXT YOU BACK.PLEASE TEXT ME YOUR NUMBER AT ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ###.i WOULD LOVE TO WORK FOR YOU AND CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE SPANKINGS TO START.YOU COULD COME OVER TO MY PLACE AND PICK ME UP AND WE COULD GO SOMEWHERE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.MY ADDRESS IS [address].IF YOU ARE COMING OVER PLEASE TEXT ME OR EMAIL ME AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CUMMING OVER TO PICK ME UP.I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND SEE YOU SOON.MICHAEL [last name] (BULLDOG).
This is like some bizarre mashup of a “missed connection” ad and a “job wanted” ad. That, or Sparky here doesn’t realize that the cute little poster that says “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves” isn’t actually serious.
Also, I’m very puzzled by the fact that he’s explicitly pointing out that since she left a number, he could text her back. Not only does this seem obvious, it would seem to mitigate the entire reason for posting the ad in the first place.
Oh well. Go Bulldog!
Oh great, like my reputation isn’t bad enough already without crazy bulldogs trying to get me to spank them. *grumble grumble*
Lyle, he’s describing it as a job. I know you were out of the dating pool for a while, but if you are paying sparkies named Bulldog to let you spank them, you’re doing it wrong.
Yeah, they’re supposed to pay you for that!
Where in Crazyland does Bulldog live that would have a thirty digit phone number?
The number is normal size, he just has a really long extension.
That’s what they all say.
It’s not the length of the extension, it’s the messaging capability.
Actually, he spelled out every word: FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE ONE TWO ONE TWO. (Note: not actual number)
Well duh, if he used actual digits to write the number, the NSA would know where he is and send out an armed correction squid.
The spambots are already being written to harvest written numbers and “[name] @ [domain]” conventions.
le Sigh
Oh trust me, they’re written and in use by EBay and Etsy. There is no way to send an email address by message in either of them. (Else you might do a direct deal and cheat them of their cut.)
Lady, text me your number.
You don’t want to spank nobody else.
Come to [address] and get me for yourself.
Lady, text me your number.
I would love to work for you.
‘Cause it’s me, Michael [Last Name] Bulldog.
Can’t wait for you.
8675309
EIGHT SIX SEVEN FIVE THREE OH NINE
Taco Lady called and did but did not leave a number so BULLDOG could text back about a job and/or spankings. There seems to be some taco magic involved here.
TacoMagic is involved here??!! TM, what were you thinking? And calling yourself Bulldog!
I agree with Grammy. I mean, this has got Bacontini written all over it (since he’s here for da ladies), but Taco? Never!
I hope this doesn’t mean that Mrs. Taco is looking for a little extracurricular jingly jingly.
if she’s like the rest of us, she doesn’t even want curricular jingly jingly.
Burrito carpet guy is quite creative in his endeavor for more condiments.
I see little churros in his future, hope he has a job to support them.
I feel it’s important to highlight something that might otherwise easily be overlooked with all the weirdness in this post: Someone who made it onto YSAC just spelled the name of a dog breed correctly!
No he didn’t – his nickname is actually “German Shepherd,” he just SPELLED it “Bulldog.”
And pronounces it “Bouquet”.
It’s spelled “Luxury Yacht” but it’s pronounced “Throat-wobbler Mangrove”
But only if the hovercraft is full of eels
Be funny if autocorrect changed it from “Booldawg”
I’m now curious about the original ad…
“W4M&Chef
Taco Bell manager looking for unattached broseph for part time fry cook duty and servicing of manager. No STDs, no MSG, references upon request, send pix. 38/W/Sparkyville/425 degrees for 5 minutes or until golden brown.”
Ever since the lunch lady slipped him an extra cookie that one time, Bulldog has had a thing for women in food service.
It’s the hairnets.
Are you there, Taco Lady? It’s me, Bulldog. I can’t wait until two o’clock, Taco Lady. That’s when the spankings start. Do you think you could pick me up and we could go somewhere, Taco Lady? It’s not that I don’t want to drive, but I won’t get my license until I’m out of middle school. I’d love to work for you…. just once or twice. Thank you, Taco Lady.
-Michael Blume
Looking for Taco Lady? Oh hell no!
She’s the Yin to your Yang.
The snake to my mongoose or the mongoose to my snake. I don’t know animals.
Oh, is that what you call it, eh? Your “mongoose.”
😀
I had a friend who had a mongoose when I was in high school. He rode to and from school on it every day. He must have rubbed off all of the fur cuz it was hairless.
You could at least try the dress on first. Just think of it as a furless squirrel suit.
let me get this straight, you’re all about the TacoThong, but Taco Lady is out of the question? Mudsy is right, you are a little yangy. You need to put some yin on that.
I hear they have medication for that now.
ghostie, you are so at home at the box, and such an expert, I’m glad you were available to help first timer Lizzi. I think we need to have new Lizzi tags, for telling it like it is! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Taco Family!