YSaC, Vol. 1444: They made me do it.
Free Imagionary Friend
Frank is a rabbit from the future, witty and knowledgeable. He’s gotton me into some interesting situations before, to the point that I feel like we should part. I don’t care where he goes along as it’s not here. Let me know if you’re interested.
When I was growing up, my imaginary friend was named Molly and she lived in my closet. She could dance, and do cartwheels, and she was always the one responsible for feeding the dog my mother’s if-it’s-Thursday-it-must-be-meatloaf-like substance that she insisted was food. However, she never traveled in time or through a Tangent Universe. And, for that matter, she never looked like Jake Gyllenhaal, which now that I think about it is kind of unfortunate. Does Frank look like Jake Gyllenhaal? Wait, what’s that jet engine doing?
Don’t tell anyone, but I AM an imagionary friend. I joined the French Foreign Imagion some time ago.
That reminds me: Has Frank been checked for Imagionnaires’ disease?
I remember when I was Shanghaied into the French imagionary legion. Baguettes three times a day, 2-hour coffee breaks after every drill and inspection, crepes every hour of the day, and two rounds of pain chocolat during inspection.
It was awful. I’m still suffering from post gourmet munchies disorder.
Side note: I am tracking box time once more, so we can have the annual Don’t Suck-Off next January. So far, everyone’s favorite puppy Hammy is in the lead. Can he keep it up? Stay tuned!
I’m really an imaginary squirrel.
I am a miniature giraffe from the moons of Uranus.
Just don’t stick your neck out or you could be in deep shit…
That’s just too easy.
I am a weiner dog!
That’s what he said.
Frank sounds like an interesting rabbit, but I don’t know how my other imagionary friends, Wilma the Aardvark Ballerina and Toodles the Ninja Toad, will get along with him. Although if he comes with his own TARDIS, I’d be willing to take him for a trial period.
I’m sorry, but if I let Frank come stay with me Harvey will be very, very jealous…and I can’t have that. You see, Harvey is always the one who buys.
No fair CJ, you beat me to the Harvey bit. But then Harvey always beats me so I shouldn’t be surprised. Sigh.
Sounds like it’s time for Sparky’s appointment with the free online couch.
Agreed. Frank is just fine. Sparky’s imagionation is broken.
Frank should put Sparky on Craigslist.
Free, non-imagionary person. Has no shots, except tequilla. I will pay you in fresh Zimbabwe Dollars to take him. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dram.
FREE imaginary friend? As opposed to the kind that costs money?
Most just cost you your sanity.
Only if you had any to begin with, I don’t, so maybe I should let Frank visit.
It’s free, but you’ll have to bring your own lobotomy equipment to collect it.
If I bring my own jar, can I keep the little piece of brain that they take out?
Does your jar say Abby Normal on it?
That one got broken. I do have one that says “BRIAN” on the side; apparently Sharpies don’t come with spell-check.
It sounds to me that Sparky is the real(?) imaginary friend. I mean, a real friend wouldn’t try to get rid of another friend on craigslist. I think Frank should find a real friend instead of staying with a cad like Sparky.
I have several imaginary friends. They are all hot men. None are time travelers, although sometimes I lose track of time during our imaginary adventures. But a RABBIT? Dude, that’s messed up.
You need to watch Doctor Who, then you’ll have a whole bunch of new imaginary friends who are time travellers.
Now that you mention it… Hey!!! WIIIIIINNNDYYYYYYYYY, Ghostie’s been watching my imagionation!
No, I haven’t!
:hides stack of “Tanks Gone Wild” DVDs:
Settle down, there are enough copies here for everyone! *hands out dvds*
He shouldn’t have taken the blue pill.
Like a rabbit needs Viagara…
Hijinks demand it.
o.O What’s up, Doc?
Imagine there’s a bunny
It’s easy if you try
The hell he’s gotten me into
Apart we need to try
Imagine Frank the bunny living in a future day
Imagine he’s so witty
It isn’t hard to do
Knowledge and skill or die for
I don’t care where he goes
Imagine Frank the bunny living life in 2392
You, you may say
I’m crazy, and you’re not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
In the world of illegal drugs
Imagine he is real
I wonder if you can
No need for weed or mushrooms
But man it really helps
Imagine all the bunnies sharing all the LSD
You, you may say
I’m crazy, and you’re not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
In the world of illegal drugs
If Sparky wants Frank to leave, all he has to do is make some comment about his ears. Imaginary rabbits are very sensitive about their ears. I know this because I’ve had experience with imaginary dust bunnies. http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=7964#comment-127216
Drop Dead Frank (2025)
PG-13
Rating: 5.3 carrots
Starring: Feedme Grapes; Rik Maybe Cray-z; Marshmallow Mason Jar
Plot: Frank is a rabbit from the future, witty and knowledgeable. He’s gotten his boyhood friend Sparky into some interesting situations before, to the point that he feels like they should part. Apparently Frank is not as witty and knowledgeable as once surmised. Futuristic Craigslist wackiness ensues and will keep you on the edge of your diving board.
Sparky must think he has a wild hare up his…imagination
One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small….
What a friend we have in Frank.
Don’t care where he goes?! That’s downright inhumane. Why, Frank could end up somewhere where he could contract raccoon plague. Now you might think that Frank, being a rabbit, would be immune to raccoon plague, but I think that is just splitting hares.
ghostie and me are pretty good company, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Imagioneers!