YSaC, Vol. 1457: Tonight, on the ABC Mystery Movie…

2013 February 26
by dan

How many times have you said to yourself: “Self – I would like to sell this chair on the list of Craig, and I have heard that items are more likely to sell when they include a photograph of the item in question.”

Lots, right?

But what if your camera is not equipped with any sort of light-making device? This is clearly an insurmountable obstacle, given how few homes are equipped with artificial light-making devices, and the total lack of a class G main sequence hydrogen burning star at the center of our solar system.

Or IS it?

Lazy Boy Rocking Chair


Very confortable chair with a side lever for a foot rest. Solid chair! Removable back for easy transprtation.

A triumph of human ingenuity!

Thanks for the inspiration, Stephanie! I may cry.

40 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 February 26
    kelli permalink

    The chair finally had its day in the spotlight.

    Adores: 15
    • 2013 February 26

      Dark Chair, you don’t have to put on that flashlight
      Those days are over
      You don’t have to sell your upholstery at night.

      Adores: 17
  2. 2013 February 26
    Grumpy Grammy permalink

    Wait a minute. Sparky did us a favour. The spotlights are highlighting the stains on said chair. Yuck!

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 February 26
      HamCan permalink

      *whistles* Here spot, good spot…sit.

      Adores: 2
  3. 2013 February 26
    Ralph permalink

    Lazy Sparky photographing chair.

    And WTF is that purplish thing next to it?

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 February 26

      :squints:

      It looks like an upside-down bike helmet. Or possibly a zombie’s face.

      Adores: 1
    • 2013 February 26
      mud "static noise" slicker permalink

      Riding the chair may be hazardous to your health. Hence: the helmet.

      Adores: 8
      • 2013 February 26

        You should always use protection when *riding the chair.

        * Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        Adores: 9
        • 2013 February 26
          Demon Duck of Doom permalink

          You must be this high to ride the chair. If you are not high enough, Sparky may have a little something to help you get there.

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 February 26

          Probably that jug of engine coolant/wiper fluid/mystery liquid behind the chair.

          Adores: 1
  4. 2013 February 26

    I keep expecting a necromorph to pop out from behind the chair and try to eat my head.

    Adores: 3
  5. 2013 February 26
    HamCan permalink

    But this model, trust me you do NOT want the ADHD Boy Rocking Chair.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2013 February 26

    Man, those are some giant orbs!*

    *that’s what she said*

    Adores: 8
  7. 2013 February 26

    I move that we table this discussion until the chair can be moved outside, where chairs really belong!

    Adores: 3
  8. 2013 February 26

    Na na na na na na na na

    Bat… huh.

    Adores: 8
    • 2013 February 26

      Invisible Batman is one of those ideas that only sounds good on paper.

      Adores: 5
      • 2013 February 26
        SilvaNoir permalink

        Or not on paper

        Because they couldn’t draw him

        He’d be invisible

        You’d just see a freshly punched Joker flying backwards through the air

        Adores: 3
  9. 2013 February 26

    You know you’re a lazy boy when you can’t even be bothered to turn on the lights.

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 February 26

      And yet it took more energy to find the flashlight (especially since most flashlights are better known as dead-battery storage devices), hold the flashlight with one hand, and take four pictures while holding the camera with the other hand than it would’ve taken to simply flip a switch and take one pic.

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 February 26
        mud "static noise" slicker permalink

        If I had to take guesses, I’d say this chair is in a prominent part of the house…say, the basement or the garage. Working light bulbs tend to be scarce in these areas of the house. On a positive note, I’m sure that corduroy smells dee-lish!

        Adores: 3
      • 2013 March 12
        Kevmeistah permalink

        All would have been solved it this Craigslister had simply murdered someone near the chair and waited for the Crime Scene Techs to set up Klieg Lights and then taken the photo.

        Adores: 0
  10. 2013 February 26
    DigitalAxis permalink

    That has to be the worst disco ball I’ve ever seen.

    Adores: 9
  11. 2013 February 26

    The first two pictures show a bottle of orange fluid. That’s either windshield wiper or engine coolant. I hope Sparky’s clever enough not to use one for the intended purpose of the other. The last two pictures show a bike and helmet. The inside-products-in-garage meme raises its grouchy head again. Either Sparky intentionally took the pictures dimly lit so we wouldn’t see his serial-killer-themed garage or he’s lived in the house for ten years thinking the garage door opener’s light is the only functional one and the switch on the wall coupled with the bulb in the ceiling are just for decoration.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 February 26

      Yay, I was right about the helmet! I’m a bit disappointed that it wasn’t a zombie’s face, though.

      Adores: 2
      • 2013 February 26
        ArtsyGeek permalink

        The zombie’s are all in Montana (or some other cold M state) freezing.

        ice zombies … hmmmmm

        Adores: 1
        • 2013 February 26

          Frosty the zombie, was as dead as he could be
          With a corpse-like funk and a broken nose
          And two eyes that he just stole

          Adores: 11
    • 2013 February 26
      mud "static noise" slicker permalink

      I posted before I saw this! Yancy “pre-stole” my guess about the garage.

      Adores: 1
    • 2013 February 26
      CapnMac permalink

      The flashlight is needed when you are breaking into other people’s storage units to sell their stuff. Rather more Storage Whores than Wars, sadly.

      Adores: 7
  12. 2013 February 26
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Attention, all toys hiding in the cushions! We have you surrounded! Come out with your labels up!

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 February 26
      ArtsyGeek permalink

      Are you keeping the old french fries, chips, etc? If not I know some place where you can sell all kinds of vintage “stuff”?

      opps, I forgot the pre-chewed bubble gum.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2013 February 26

    Is it odd that I keep hearing someone saying “Hey y’all, watch this!”?

    Adores: 1
  14. 2013 February 26
    tigprincess permalink

    How would I sit in the chair? Its got a side lever for a footrest so I’d have to twist around and then …now I see why Sparky is selling this ‘solid chair’. He’s hurt his back – therefore removable back for easy tranprtation. The O disappeared when he hurt his back.
    Now with a crippled back Sparky cannot reach any light switch hence the flashlight illumination. And we’ve been so snarky towards him … poor Sparky is in pain.
    Its still a No to the chair.

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 February 26
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      Either you have to ride the chair sidesaddle, or Sparky misspelled “contortable”.

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 February 26

        Ladies should always ride sidesaddle, you never know what sort of scoundrels and rogues might be lurking about hoping to catch a glimpse of ankle.

        Adores: 8
  15. 2013 February 26
    Tankerbell permalink

    MacGyver: “Let’s see what’s around here to use to get out of this serial killer’s garage.
    *shines flashlight around*
    “OK, bike helmets, assorted automotive fluids, a stanky-ass chair with a broken back…”
    *builds fully functional Abrams tank with confortable, if stained, driver’s seat. Blasts way out of garage*
    “Screw you, man. Put the lotion on your own damn skin.”

    Adores: 9
  16. 2013 February 26

    I’ve discovered the solution to Sparky’s lighting problems!

    :lights chair on fire:

    Adores: 4
  17. 2013 February 26

    The lights would suggest that Sparky is one of the Mysterons. Presumably he’s hoping that Captain Scarlet will answer the ad.

    Just me? Ok.

    *resumes rocking to and fro, humming themes from Gerry Anderson tv shows*

    Adores: 3
  18. 2013 February 27
    PhantomBanker permalink

    I’m thinking some kind of Hollywood premiere. Was Sparky inspired by last weekend’s Oscars?

    Adores: 1
  19. 2013 February 27

    This morning, leaping out of the box, I present Mudslicker and LimeLolly. Ladies, hope your time was well spent. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Detective Columbo!

    Adores: 0
  20. 2013 March 12
    Kevmeistah permalink

    I’m confused on this illuminated chair. The ad states:
    “Very confortable chair with a side lever for a foot rest”
    Is the lever itself a footrest? Do you sit with your legs swept back to rest your feet on the lever? Is that also a mechanism to rest your feet in front of the chair in the 4th picture or a separate item for sale? If it accompanies the chair, why would you need the lever for a footrest? I would venture a guess that the chair accouterment in front would be more advantageous to rest thy weary feet than contorting like some Merlin to rest them on a simple lever BEHIND thyself!
    Dang, I wish the seller would have used thou electric torch to shed some light on it!

    Adores: 1

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