YSaC, Vol. 1463: River City Random
free ransom stuff
Moving in the end of month, please let me know if you need it.
37 Inch TV
This can’t be stuff Sparky is holding FOR ransom, since he’s offering it to people for free. So it must be stuff that Sparky uses AS ransom. “Send me $26.44 or the plastic chairs will GET IT!” “I’m not afraid to slash this sofa unless you give me what I want!”
That doesn’t seem like a very effective ransom strategy. I think Sparky needs some holding-things-for-ransom lessons. Craigslist is obviously the place to look for that; maybe this will help:
FOUND MISSING VOICE OF [RANDOM PERSON], I will hold said voice ransom for 1,000,000 peanuts for the next 24 hours!
If you ever wanna hear your voice again you know who to call…….o wait I have your voice, just use IPrelay and I want a women operator to do the negotiating, a female voice calms me when I spin into fits of RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm. You know, never mind. This person’s negotiating strategy might actually be helped by threatening a plastic chair or two.
Thanks, and Taylor! (By the way, Taylor sent in the second ad in December of 2008. So if we haven’t gotten around to posting your submission yet, don’t fret! But keep the submissions coming — we rely on submissions for material!)