YSaC, Vol. 1466: The fault lies not in our Wipe transition, but in ourselves.
Part time tech/admin help
I need admin support for 4-10 hours as a part time temp gig, to help me put together a PowerPoint presentation to save the world by promoting a new way of living. I am a village planner looking to promote and design a radically more beautiful, safe, supportive and sustainable way to live. This could turn into a part time gig if it works out.
Need someone highly focused, technically savvy with Power Point, responsible, easy to work with, .and self motivated
Must know Power Point, Word and a Pagemaker-like program such as InDesign or equal.
Must be able to get to my downtown [location] office and work with me on-site. Time and date of the work is flexible .
Pay is $15 per hour. I would like to accomplish this immediate task by March 15.
Please send a brief cover letter and resume to:
[email address from free internet email provider].
Somehow I always thought that saving the world would involve more than a $15 per hour temp gig with a possibility of becoming part time. I also always assumed that it would involve more than a Powerpoint presentation, but I’m pleased to hear that all that stuff about ozone layers and global climate change is really secondary to knowing how to create sound effects and goofy animated transitions in Powerpoint.
And I’m really excited to hear that the world will be saved by March 15th. I don’t need to beware the Ides of March after all!
Thanks, Diane!
And so begins the illustrious life of Marvel’s newest hero – Powerpoint Man!
Follow Powerpoint Man as he animates presentations, adds video clips, and publishes to the Web, all to save the fair maiden – Penelope..and the rest of mankind!
PP Man’s best power is making imbeded videos work during important presentations.
Seriously, though, I spent 7 years in school getting to watch various research presentations given by everyone from undergrads to seasoned professors of engineering. In those 7 years, I think I saw 1 presentation where the videos worked.
The other elebenty hundert presentations had this moment:
“Uh, it doesn’t look like the video is gonna work, hold on while I find the AVI file. I know it’s on this thumb-drive somewhere…”
Really? Then I am a G.D. .ppt genius, dude! I can make video work, include voiceover narration, etc.
I know we’d like to say that all of this is just part of a ‘training exercise’, but the fact is…
I am Powerpoint Man.
Nice.
Happened several times while I was at Dragon*Con, but at least I got to see a half-dozen men dressed like the Doctor try to “fix” the equipment with their sonic screwdrivers.
Happens often in our KIDS Church program, our AV tech (a junior high student) is getting quite adept at finding ways to make them work. He will definitely have a future as PowerPointMan’s sidekick or as a replacement when PPman retires.
Sparky
Has found a new way of living.
Salary-wise, he’s not very giving.
Sparky….
Addendum: Applicant must also know how to get rid of that stupid animated paper clip.
Hi! It looks like you’re trying to write snark. Is this business snark or personal snark?
Hi!
My name is Annoying Paperclip.
You killed my copyright.
Prepare to die.
HI! I’m an annoying CG dog! I stole the paper clip’s eyes and are wearing them. What do you think?
Piece of dirt
That is what I’m planning on today.
Piece of dirt
What will my PowerPoint say?
I climb the highest mountain
Just to build a village fountain
And slides, slides will show the way.
Adores for TMBG remix.
If you REALLY want to save the world for pennies a day, donate to UNICEF.
Dear Sparky,
All the people with the skills you need are working already, and getting $25 per hour. I have seen PowerPoint presentations, I am highly focused on FarmVille2, my cat finds me easy to work with, and I organized a page program in a medieval recreation group. I will take $12 per hour, if you will reimburse me for bus fare.
Sincerely,
Admin Annie
Tell that to Peter Parker.
Or pretty much any superhero who isn’t independently wealthy like Oliver Queen or Bruce Wayne. Even Clark Kent has a day job.
This conversation reminds me of this
A door!
And another! May your entrances be many in number!
If it works and the world still exists after 3/15, then it’s a temp gig.
If we’re not here, then Sparky needs more work and it’s a permanent job.
EEGADS! !!!
Glenn Beck has moved on to Phase II of his plan to rule the world!
Immediately after clicking that link, I regretted it… but then I saw the picture of Beck looking like an authentic sack of manure in a cowboy hat, and that made it all worthwhile.
Beware the IT’s of March, lest they send Mordac the Preventer!
I thought all we had to do to save the world was save the cheerleader…
Yeah, but then Sylar’s home planet got blowed up, and it all went to hell. Fracking Romulans.
:lens flare:
I have to say, that’s the least clever thing I’ve ever had quoted in the box. The bar is really low on weekends, folks!
camille, I almost edited it to have you repeating the last three words. 8) But then this convention jumped in front of me and I ran out of time.
Windy, I actually thought about writing it that way in the first place!
Nope. I use Splenda™.
Support for 4-10 hours? Pathetic.
Playtex supports for 18 hours.
“…looking to promote and design a radically more beautiful, safe, supportive and sustainable way to live.”
Did Sparky take the red pill or the blue pill?
Dave, you have perfect attendance at YSaC! Ducky, camille, you have perfectly good reasons for showing up on Sunday. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Humanity is Doomed, Inc!