YSaC, Vol. 1474: Conspiracy theory.
Things Craigslist is good at:
- ads looking for photographers to do work for free
- ads for dinning room tables
- ads for chiwawas
Things Craigslist is not good at:
- these things:
hitlier justuce kidnapped by fegeral marshall and conspored wit
witnesses at r [location] apartment mother and child are tr[address] see mother and child being kidnapped by marshalls who invaded theiapaapartment 1r and 1f witnessed the horror of this unlawful invasion child was never returned to mother [male name] the mother only recently was told after doing her own investigation was the name of this fed marshall from [location] who kidnapped her and her son because there was never a warrant or judges order to remove them from the apartment. tthen they were put in unmarked vehicle drinen away from the apaertment then seperated son was vever seen again where is my child and why was he kidnapped.
This sounds like the beginning to a Liam Neeson movie. I think it’s the one where he gets eaten by a shark; I can never keep them straight. But yeah, it turns out Craigslist isn’t particularly good at vigilante detectivism, especially when there’s almost no information and a merely tenuous grasp on reality.
That doesn’t seem to stop people from trying, though. In the same location there was also this ad:
innocent young victim get guilty virdic for jail time up to 40 yr
need someone to write a story – about a innocent victim .get up to 40yr on a faulty trial and the juror did not even look at the case after lawyer make closing statements 6 men try to make a y to tape with pulling off two fake robbery’s no one was injured . false statements from police officers. and from some wittiness. DNA mix up . and corruptions in court now only one young man facing 40yr one took pleas bargain for 2 to 3 yr all others still out there we have all avoidance , lawyer had problems presenting the case because the CASE GET personal with the defendant and the court system have all minutes of case . before and after , need this also go to the news. predigest and unjust trial of [name]
robbery cider and petty cash which was returned to the bondage store the same time . owners later .
in a real robbery all evidence should be kept till trial finished. in this case somethings went different and with predigest
Wait … someone stole cider and petty cash from a bondage store, but returned it later? Wouldn’t the bondage store have had some way of, I don’t know, restraining the robber? How is Liam Neeson involved in all of this? I’m so confused.
Thanks, Liz and Johanna!
We need to get these guys together with our moviemakers from a few days ago. I’d bet good money Hollyweird would buy the rights.
I’m going to need some time to predigest this… It’s early in the morning for such a complicated plot. Nazis, bondage, sharks, and DNA, oh my!
And a cider robbery.
Ocean’s Cider House Rules of Engagement! Bam!
Imma drink my coffee while I’m waiting for my Hollywood monies.
Was it Dickens Cider? The song says that’s every woman’s favorite.
Hitler’s chief justice was kidnapped by a feral marshall? I’d watch that movie, especially if they got Judi Dench to play the inspired wit.
Start your day with Fresh from your blender DNA Mix-Up! Convenient powder or new predigested shakes! Yum, yum!
I’d like to ask Sparky 2 how to predigest. It may help me with my weight loss plan.
It’s the Penguin-and-Robin plan. Hope you like chewed-up fish and/or worms!
…strangest issue of Batman ever…
Move Hitler, for great justice!
That’s the one where he’s a US marshal hunting for th 1-armed man, isn’t it?
Great movie. I especially like the part where he only has 24 hours to find the missing DNA sample or the 1-armed man will plant a bomb on a bus, which has to stay over 60mph or it’ll have its cider robbed.
Man, now I wanna watch it again.
That was the only movie I ever managed to unwatch. True story*
*Not true story
Child Protection Services now considers egregious failures of punctuation and spelling an unsafe environment to grow up in.
Digi, if ony! Even homelssness is not a reason to put kids in to safe custody.
Try the new, improved Gestapodrine(TM). It’s Hitlier!
It’s like the crazy people from my Facebook feed are trying to invade Craigslist.
Craigbook… Facelist… hmm.
More like CraigFace.
Better stop doing that or one day it’ll freeze that way!
Well, I think we should be proud of the police officers who at least provided some wittiness with their false statements.
It was one of you guys, wasn’t it? You went and called that movie guy and acted like a cop-turned-actor, didn’t you. Ah, the old Dennis Franz Postulation.
I pretended to be a German Shepherd, but that was an unrelated matter.
Hey! I thought we weren’t going to mention that incident again.
Dear Sparky,
It’s not a fake robbery if cider and petty cash were actually taken from the property without the owner’s permission, just because no one was injured and the police returned the items to the store afterwards.
But they were just trying to make a y to tape! I’m not sure what a “y to tape” is, but I’m sure it must be a plausible defense. Somewhere.
Note to Sparky: when all around you are taking plea bargains, THAT would be a good time to bow to peer pressure, not when your nitwit friends say, “Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to stage a fake robbery at the bondage store? I hear they have cider there.”
It’s a good thing the cider was predigested. The postdigested stuff gives me the runs.
OK, I misread “fegeral” and thought the singer from the Black Eyed Peas was somehow involved.
I figured it was F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Ferengi.
You think Sparky wants Jane Austin to write to filum script? Wittiness she has in abundnces.
P.S. Should I ever be crazed enough to raid a bondage store I’d sure as hell take something better than cider! Cognac perhaps?
The bondage store near me just flat out won’t take returns.
Or so I hear.
Ah, this is evolution in action.
All those unused neurons yearning to break free and have a chance to express a cogent thought. Sadly, they are trapped in the adamantine matrix which is sparkii.
_______________________
(ok, why did I have to teach the spellcheck “adamantine”?
“…son was vever seen again where is my child…”
Vever is a village situated in Novi Pazar municipality in Serbia
I think Sparky answered the question already…
No, you don’t. I have some right here. You can’t have it. I’m using it. Goodbye.
Where were the black helicopters? You can’t have a proper conspiracy without black helicopters.
And they have to be *silent* black helicopters.
I had my wisdom teeth removed on Friday and I’ve been in excruciating pain since then and on oxycodone and hydrocodone. I’d still rather go through this than read or watch a book or movie with that story line. Please no one have responded to that ad.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the laser beams yet. How else are the sharks going to track down the nazis and predigest their cider while Liam Neeson interrogates the rogue federal marshals and judges for their DNA mixup in the bondage shop? Quick! Someone get my tin foil hat! I can feel the aliens probing my thoughts! It hurts, oh, the agony! I thought I expressly said it needed to be double ply! Double plllyyyy!
Something funny about cheese.
Oh no, no cross overs!
ghostie, you need to have your own show. Do ghostcats show up on film? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Foil Hat Society!
At least the false statements were made with some wittiness!
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