YSaC, Vol. 1485: A Capitalist and His Dog

2013 April 5

Two ads for the price of one, today – posted in the same location by (I desperately hope) the same person:

LOOKIN FOR A ROOM FOR MYSELF AND DOG


HELLO HERE IS A PERSON THAT IS LOOKIN FOR A ROOM TO RENT FOR HIM AND DOG I GOT A MED SIZE DOG HE IS HOUSE TRAINED AS I WILL NOT KEEP HIM IN A CAGE WHERE I GO SO DON,T HE I SLEEP ON THE FLOOR DON,T LIKE THE BED IF YOU GOT A ROOM PLEASE MESSAGE BACK THANKS I DO NOT DRIVE

ALSO MY DOG DOES NOT LIKE CATS

Hello person. While it is refreshing to read a post that does not overuse apostrophes, I suspect it is not the case that all the other people flinging them about willy nilly have used them up. On the other hand, it’s possible that what I perceive to be commas in the middle of your contractions are in fact really apostrophes that have run out of helium.

$550 LOOKIN FOR A APARTMENT WITH A SHOWER


HI HERE VIS A PERSON WITH A D O G THAT,S LOOKIN FOR A APARTMENT IT MUST HAVE A SHOWER I CAN PAY MONTHLY IF YOU GOT ANYTHIN PLEASE MESSAGE ME BACK THANKS WOULD LIUKE THE SECOND FLOOR OR BOTTOM

I don’t understand – why would you pay your shower monthly?

Thanks for the puzzlement, Laura!

21 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 April 5
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    DEAR PERSON WITH DOG – STOP YELLING AT ME, I’M TRYING TO TAKE A SHOWER!

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 April 5

      Sorry about. I’m having a problem CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!

      Adores: 3
  2. 2013 April 5

    I’ve seen Dog on television…and there’s no way he’s house trained.

    Adores: 9
    • 2013 April 5

      Or knows how to use a shower.

      Adores: 9
    • 2013 April 5
      Tankerbell permalink

      And he, too, has trouble controlling the volume. Not to mention the frequency.

      Adores: 3
  3. 2013 April 5

    Get your helium here! Is your apostrophe sagging? Let me INFLATE it for you! $1 a blow!

    Hmm, maybe I should charge a little more. I don’t know what the going rate for helium blows is currently.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 April 5

      I’d tell you to get to a corner, but it sounds like you’re already on one 😉

      Adores: 7
  4. 2013 April 5

    ♪♫ My name is Liuke… I want to live on the second floor… ♪♫

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 April 5
      Tankerbell permalink

      I am also willing to live on the bottom. Spongebob seems to enjoy it.

      Adores: 1
  5. 2013 April 5
    Ralph permalink

    Use the force, Liuke!

    Adores: 6
  6. 2013 April 5

    Do you KNOW how sensitive dog’s hearing is? Yeah, miserable life for them to live with somebody who’s shouting all the time.

    Remember, kids, capsloc is cruelty to animals.

    Adores: 5
  7. 2013 April 5
    PhantomBanker permalink

    To be fair, when using my iPhone I often confuse the apostrophe and comma buttons. Then again, I also know where the backspace button is, so it’s not really an issue.

    Adores: 2
  8. 2013 April 5
    mudslicker permalink

    A Goy and His Dog
    by Harlan Ellison

    “Do you know what love is?”
    “Sure I know. A boy loves his goy.”

    Adores: 2
  9. 2013 April 5
    tigprincess permalink

    I would like to make a complaint please.
    After reading Dan’s comments I now have to (1) head to bathroom to clean all eyemake-up off my cheeks, chin and neck, (2) re-apply eye make-up, and (3) have a glass of ice-cold water to stop the recurring hiccups and burst of laughter that threaten my make-up.
    I’ll take my payment in Bedazzled Bees please
    TP

    Adores: 4
  10. 2013 April 5
    PhantomBanker permalink

    I don’t understand – why would you pay your shower monthly?

    Maybe he only takes one monthly?

    Adores: 1
    • 2013 April 5
      CapnMac permalink

      No doubt a condition (required) of (by) parole (officer).

      (Possibly by the entire staff at the adult {or canine} probation office.)

      Adores: 1
  11. 2013 April 5
    CraigsLister permalink

    HI HERE,S DOG LOOKIN FOR BED TO RENT FOR HIM AND FLOOR HIS OWNER I NOT SO GOOD WITH THE CATMATH SO OWNER PAY MONTHLY IN SQUID BEAK OWNER NOT HOUSE TRAINED USE SHOWER SO DON,T I DO NOT BITE
    MUCH
    HIT ME UP LIUKE
    CATS ARE TASTY

    Adores: 11
  12. 2013 April 5
    CapnMac permalink

    [teeny-tiny phone corey]
    Until I upgraded to Galaxy S II–a scant 11 months’ ago–my Sanyo flip-phone was only just “clever.” Said phone’s text keys did include some typographic symbols lurking as part of the menu choices upon pressing the “1” key.

    However, an apostrophe was not one of those. Which meant I had to use a comma to express quotes or apostrophes.

    Which is why I seldom engaged in text communication with that phone.

    Also why I virtually never used it as an online device, too (that and a screen not much bigger than a stamp without zoom capabilities).

    Had I been a canine companion seeking accommodations, though, I would have sought ought out a library or such similar public operation to peck out a CL ad. But, I also shower more frequently than merely monthly, other than by aggregation.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 1
  13. 2013 April 5
    PhantomBanker permalink

    (Channeling my inner ghostbuster)…
    “Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!”

    Adores: 1
  14. 2013 April 6

    Miss MNN, Congrats on your first time in the box! Here’s your card, hold it up in front of your face, and close your eyes. Do you have health insurance? Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Bottom Dwellers!

    Adores: 0

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